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It hurts. That's what I thought as I cleaned myself. The pain wasn't a new thing. I had felt it a lot when I lived with my parents and then again when the bullies would beat me up. I just didn't expect to feel it again after I met Yami.
Yami had promised to protect me, to make sure that I was never hurt again. So why did he break that promise? Why did he stop caring? Why did he just watch as I got hurt? WHY did HE hurt me?
But I guess it's stupid to ask questions nobody's gonna answer, since there is no one to answer. They all left me, Joey, Honda, Anzu, Ryou; Bakura, Seto and Mokuba, even my own grandfather.
But there's nothing I can do about it, so I should just as well get used to it. That's what I thought a few months ago, when my loved ones started to ignore me.
In the start it wasn't so bad, just my friends stopping to spend time with me and instead hang out with Yami. Then it got worse, as I started to get bullied again. It got even worse when my, now former, friends started bullying me too. Then, after some time, even my grandfather started ignoring me, when I got home bloody and bruised.
It was horrible, but at least I still had Yami at that time. He always comforted me when I was sad, even though he didn't know why. That what I hated about him, he was the one causing me all this pain, but he didn't even know it. He didn't know why I was often covered in my own blood and bruised. He didn't know why I broke down almost every night and cried myself to sleep. He didn't see when my ex-friends beat me up or when they yelled at me. He didn't see when my grandfather slapped me whenever I did something wrong, or when he told me he wished that he was his grandson, not me.
But there was nothing I could do about it. Yami just couldn't see it and when he finally did, he didn't help me. Instead he just watched as my ex-friends beat me and actually laughed. He laughed at my pain.
After that he just wasn't the same anymore. He ignored me just like everyone else, and that's when I started cutting myself.
I know it sounds weird, but cutting myself, and the pain because of it, was wonderful. It wasn't that the pain itself was wonderful, more that the physical pain distracted me from the mental pain.
First I just cut myself around once a week, but slowly it got more and more often. I also started hearing a voice. It started one time when I had cut myself more than usual and I was lying on the floor of the attic (oh yeah, forgot to mention I'm moved to the attic because Yami got my room), and just before I blacked out I heard a voice telling me to die.
It wasn't the only time I heard that voice, actually I heard it quite often. It talked to me every before I fell asleep, in school and when I just lied on my bed in my new room. It didn't tell me to die like the first time I heard it, but still told me to go further, to keep cutting and to cut deeper. And I did as it told me and cut myself deeper, until one day I tried to commit suicide.
It would have worked if it wasn't for Yami, again. He wanted to borrow some of my notes for a test we were going to have in school the next day, and when he saw me bleeding on the floor, unconscious, he called the hospital. When I woke up a couple of days later, I found myself in a my own bed, with Yami by my side, staring at me with so much anger, like I just broke one of his precious cards.
Before I could say anything he slapped me across the face, and I just stared at him. I didn't know what to say and when I finally found the words, he wouldn't' let me say them.
He pinned my hands to the bed with his own and kissed me hard enough to bruise my lips. I struggled against him, but he was far superior in strength, and my struggles were useless.
He pinned both my wrist above my head with one hand and pushed the other one up under my shirt. I started to panic and struggled more than before, and this time it actually worked, and I got thrust a knee in his crotch.
He groaned and rolled of me, and down on the floor. I must have hit him harder than I thought 'cause he didn't get up for a while, and I took that opportunity to grab a bag and started to toss different clothes in it and the money I had saved up for years to college.
After that I tried to get out, but Yami had recovered and stood in the way. He longed out after me, but to my luck I was faster and smaller, so I dug under his arm and out the door, down the stairs and out the front door.
I ran and ran, down different streets, not really knowing where to go, and after some time I finally lost Yami.
I sat down on a porch to some house and thought about it all. There was no going back now; I knew that much, but the thought about being on my own was scary. And what if they found me, and then what would I do.
I couldn't stay in domino, hell I couldn't even stay in Japan. They would find me and when they did, they would be mad. And they would beat me up again, maybe so serious that I would end up with permanent damage.
But where would I go. I got an idea and found the money I had taken with me. It wasn't that much, but it should be enough for a one way ticket. After thinking about it for another couple of minutes I decided that I would run away, and headed for the airport.
I arrived at the airport after around 12 minutes, after running through a lot of small alleys, to prevent meeting anyone I knew. But when I arrived I faced a problem, I had no idea where I was going to go. In my hurry I had completely forgot to think about such an important matter.
I looked at the departure board to see which plane was leaving soon. I saw that a plane to America, Florida was leaving in 50 minutes. So I bought a ticket and waited on a bench in the airport.
Around twenty minutes later a voice announced that the plane to America, Florida was ready to be boarded. I went to the gate to the plane and got on. I then found my seat and waited.
Around 25 minutes later a woman announced that the plane was full and that we were to take our seatbelts on. Then the plane rolled out on the lane and took off. Having nothing to do I just looked out the window, engulfed in my thoughts the whole trip.
When the plane landed and everyone got off, I went outside the airport. Luckily I only had one bag that was small enough so I could have it with me on the plane, and therefore didn't have to wait for my bag, so I could leave the airport pretty fast.
When I got outside the airport I looked around. I didn't have much money left, but it should be enough to stay a night at a motel. I looked around for a cheap one and after an hour and a half, I found a place that was cheap enough, so that I could stay for around a week.
After I got settled in my room, I laid down on my bed and fell asleep. I woke up the next morning, or noon, and thought about what I was going to do. I needed to find a place to live, and some way to pay for it.
I took a trip around to look for a place to work, so I could get some money. After looking for 5 hours, I ended up with nothing. There was no place that had a vacant job, so I headed back to the motel.
But on the way I was pulled into an alley. Someone held my arms behind my back and put a hand for my mouth, so I couldn't scream for help. I started to panic and struggled to get out of the grip that was holding me. But despite my efforts, the grip on me didn't loosen an inch.
When my strength was used up I looked around and saw that there was more than one. As far as I could see, there was about 7-12 people, all staring at me.
Someone handed the person that was holding me a cloth, which the person holding me put over my mouth and nose. I smelled something weird on the cloth and started to get dizzy. It didn't take very long 'till I got unconscious.
