So I lied. This ended up getting really long, so there's going to be at least 3 chapters for this story (maybe more depending on how long the next one takes). My goal is still to try to finish this while it's still close to Valentine's Day, but we'll see if that actually happens.
"Seriously? Parker?" Peter practically barked at Susan.
"Have you not seen the wondrous gifts he's been giving me?" Susan sighed dreamily.
"Yeah, to try to buy your love. He's no better than the other 5 guys you've gone out with this year alone, and it's not even summer yet!" Peter snarled.
"So? If he treats me well, and gives me nice things, why shouldn't I go out with him?" Susan said defiantly.
"Treats you well? Since when do you consider boys using you as a pretty accessory for their arm treating you well?" Peter said, grabbing his sister by the shoulders.
"Oh, shut up! You'd hate any boy who so much as glances in my direction!" Susan snapped back.
"Really, Su? I was perfectly fine with you snogging the boy who actually loved you for you in front of… well, everyone. Well, not perfectly fine with it, but I didn't even try to stop it," Peter said. Susan tensed, and Peter felt like kicking himself for bringing up Caspian, even if he hadn't said his name. He knew how much Susan hated Caspian being brought up. She never quite got over him.
"That's what all this is about, isn't it?" Peter said, hugging his sister. She gave him a confused look, and he continued, "All these boys you try out. You're trying desperately to replace him. But you move on because of course none of them are anywhere near close to being as wonderful as him."
"Careful there, Pete. People are going to start thinking you're in love with him too," Susan teased. Peter rolled his eyes.
"But aren't I right?" Peter said seriously. Susan looked down, and when she looked back up at him, Peter could see tears in her eyes. Suddenly, she grabbed him and buried her face in his chest.
"Susan?" Peter said, a bit shocked. Susan had always been so strong, so independent, the one who spent her time caring for them, not the other way around. But losing Narnia and Caspian had hit her the hardest.
"I wish we had never come back," she whispered.
"Me too, but Aslan said," Peter began.
"No, I meant I wish we had died there, fighting for Narnia, instead of coming back to this," Susan cried.
"You don't mean that," Peter said, shivering.
Caspian often wondered if he would see Susan again in Aslan's country. Or if he would even see any of them again. He knew Edmund and Lucy were likely to come back, but it took them 1300 years to return last time. Why should he think he would get the honor of having them return twice in his lifetime, when so many lives had passed by without knowing them even once? And even if they did, it wouldn't be the same. He had liked Edmund enough, but Edmund had mostly stayed in the shadow. It was Peter who he had fought with like a brother and admired and looked up to. And it was Susan who inspired him. Who pressed him to continue fighting for Narnia instead of caving in under the weight of his shame. Who had taken his heart. The Queen of his heart.
Susan was sitting on a terrace, reading the letter Lucy and Edmund had sent. They had gone back. And to make it even more unfair, it was still during Caspian X's reign. But then the worst part, which felt like someone had punched her, was when Edmund mentioned that Caspian had found a girl. Well, a star to be precise. He had moved on, while she still couldn't find any man to compare to him. She started wondering what it was this girl had that she didn't. She had never met a star, but she thought they simply must have incredible powers and such that she could never have.
"Hello, my lady," an American soldier said cockily. "You're Susan, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am," Susan said coldly. Normally she would have been interested, because he was definitely handsome, by almost any girl's standards. Muscular, tall, striking features, dreamy eyes. But finding out about Caspian and the star definitely did not put her in the mood for flirting.
"My mother's friends with yours, and she asked me to stop by to check on you and tell you she'll be coming back later than usual tonight. I'm Andrew, by the way," he said, putting out his hand. Susan glanced at his hand coldly rather than shaking it. He awkwardly stuck it back in his pocket. "I was hoping maybe to step inside for a moment? It's awfully warm out."
Susan sighed. "Yes, come inside. I'll make you some lemonade."
While inside, Susan was grateful the soldier was talkative because it gave her the excuse to not say much.
"Soooo, if you don't mind me asking, what's made you turn all ice queen?" he drawled.
Susan froze, thinking of the White Witch. "Ice queen?"
"From what I've heard, you tend to show interest in every guy before turning all ice queen on them. What makes me so lucky that you dislike me from the start?"
"I, I do not!" Susan protested.
"Hey, just saying what I've heard!" he said, putting his hands up in an innocent gesture.
"And I'm not icy! I… I just… I found out a former beau of mine who I never quite got over has moved on."
"You're kidding!" Andrew said, a bit too loudly. Susan glared at him. "How would a pretty thing like you ever lose a guy?"
"It was… a mutual break up. We… lived too far apart to really be in a relationship," she said sadly.
"Well, you know what's best for getting over an ex who's moved on?" he said, standing and walking over to her.
"No?" she said uncertainly. He grabbed her around the waist and began kissing her. She yanked his hair and kissed him back just as passionately. She let herself get lost in the heat of the moment, forgetting everything else, forgetting the pain.
"Su! The Professor wants us to call a meeting for the friends of Narnia," Lucy said excitedly. "He invited us and Eustace and Miss Plummer over to dinner this Friday."
"Oh, I simply can't waste time on something like that," Susan said, waving Lucy away. "Jacob is talking me to dinner that night."
"Well," Lucy said sadly, "He said we could arrive as early as 2, so we could go then and you leave early!"
"Oh, but I'm supposed to go meet his parents beforehand. And he says his cousin, who is a prince in Hungary, will be visiting, and he'll introduce us! Imagine that, a real-life prince! Meeting real royalty," Susan sighed.
"Um, what's that make us?" Lucy laughed, confused.
"Ordinary British girls?" Susan responded.
"But in Narnia, we're royalty too."
"Mhmm, of course deary," Susan said. "Now, please go. I'm headed out to the theater with Jacob in an hour and need to start getting prepared."
"What's with all the make-up?" Peter asked. "You look more beautiful without it. More your queenly self."
"Oh, darling brother. As if I could ever look like a queen. And the makeup brings out my best features, don't you think?" Susan laughed.
"What do you mean 'as if'? You are a queen," Peter responded.
"No I'm not," Susan said with a mean laugh. "Don't be ridiculous."
"But in Narnia- "
"Well, of course we could be royalty in our made-up world. Although I do wonder how you got two adults to play along with you. And why in the world you would want our horrid cousin to play it with you," Susan said idly while fixing her hair. "Up or down, what do you think?"
"Like I know anything about hair. What do you mean "made up world"? Narnia's real, Susan!"
"Peter, you're about to go off to college. It's long overdue for you to grow up and stop playing pretend," Susan said. "Now please, stop distracting me. I need to look good for tonight. The prince of Hungary himself is taking me to the theater."
"You had the prince of Narnia willing to take you anywhere, willing to die for you," Peter murmured. "What's this Hungarian prince got in comparison?"
"Being real?" Susan said. "Now, please, go!" She practically shoved him out the room and locked the door. She then threw herself on her bed and began crying, although she hardly knew why.
"Hmmm, who's this?" Susan asked, approaching her siblings and cousin who were sitting on the floor alongside some girl Susan had never seen before.
"Jill Pole," Eustace said. "She came to Narnia with me! And we saved the life of Rillian, Caspian's son!" All of Susan's siblings froze at the sound of Caspian's name, and then slowly turned towards her, afraid of her reaction.
Susan choked, and then laughed a rather forced laugh. "Rillian? Caspian? What ridiculous names."
"He's dead," Peter suddenly said forcefully. "Caspian, the only man I've ever seen you be truly in love with, is dead."
Susan froze. Then she suddenly relaxed and laughed again. "Why do I care if someone who was never real and alive to begin with is dead?"
"Because him not being with you hurts you so much that you find it easier to pretend he doesn't exist!" Peter said with a glare. Susan shook her head violently, backing away. She felt tears form in her eyes and she ran outside.
Peter joined her about a minute later, and said nothing, taking her into his arms. She grabbed his shirt and buried her face in it.
"Why does it hurt so much?" she whimpered.
"Because you loved him," Peter whispered back, stroking his sister's hair.
"No, no!" she suddenly said, rather violently. "I can't be in love with a fairy tale we dreamt up. I need to move along with my life. I need to move on. And what a ridiculous character for us to dream up anyways. I remember you not liking him. You would've thought we'd have, I don't know, un-make him up."
Peter looked at her sadly. He cupped her chin in his hands and spoke softly, "When I tried to use force against Edmund to make him a better person, he felt like he had to turn to that evil Witch. I'm not making the same mistake this time. All of us will be there for you, supporting you and helping you find your way back to believing in Narnia. Showing you the way with our love for you. And help you find your way back to Him."
"Him? Whatever are you talking about?" Susan said crossly.
"Why, Aslan of course!" Peter exclaimed. "You surely haven't forgotten Him and all he's done for us!"
"Aslan does not exist. Talking lions do not exists, and talking lions who are a god most definitely do not exist!" Susan snarled. "Now let me go clean up. Crying over that fictional character made my mascara run."
Peter didn't even try to stop her. He couldn't believe that his sister would deny Aslan.
"Su? There's a meeting for the Friends of Narnia at the Professor's house," Peter said timidly. Susan merely turned to glare at him, then went back to writing the letter she was working on.
Peter walked over and picked up the letter.
"Really? A love note? Couldn't you at least be doing something productive? Like schoolwork?" he sighed.
"Seriously? You're the one going off and making believe," Susan said.
"All these guys just see you as a possession," Peter protested. "And ever since you stopped studying, you're making yourself into exactly what you never wanted to be, a pretty accessory for a boy to show off."
"Maybe that's all I am. Being strong, intelligent, and smart never got me what I wanted," Susan snapped back.
"What do you mean? Susan, those were some of your best qualities!" Peter protested.
"No boy wants a girl who is independent or who's better than him in masculine areas," Susan said, returning to her letter.
"And I used to think you'd eventually join one of those feminist groups," Peter said, shaking his head. "And you know exactly who would want a girl like that." Susan frowned, trying to think of what boy Peter was talking about, but coming up blank.
"Peter, we really need to get you a girl. Maybe then you'd understand," she giggled. "I know a bunch of girls who would be interested. Sooo many of my friends think you're cute, even if you're a little weird."
"I don't need a girl to date, I need my sister back to replace this silly shell of her that is sitting in front of me."
Susan heard her siblings return, but heard mention of Narnia, so she decided to steer clear.
"We're headed to the train station!" Edmund hollered up towards her room. "Wanna come?"
"No, I'm busy, Ed!" she called back down. She later wished she had. Better to die with all her siblings than to live on alone.
"Walk with me," Peter ordered Caspian. They walked through one of the many beautiful gardens in Aslan's country.
"What is it, High King?" Caspian asked. Peter gave him a strange look.
"Since when do you refer to me like that?"
"Oh, I just didn't want to do anything disrespectful that might accidentally start an argument. Especially since, you know, before, in the other Narnia, we yeah," Caspian stammered.
Peter smiled and gently put his hand on Caspian's shoulder, "And neither do I want to start any quarrel with you. But we're not longer hot-blooded young boys pointlessly fighting for power over each other rather than fighting together. And I've never been so ridiculous as to get angry over someone not using my title. Might get angry though if you keep using it," he joked. Caspian slowly grinned back.
"So, why did you want to walk with me? I figured you had something you wanted to tell me alone?"
"Not tell, ask," Peter said. Caspian inclined his head, inviting Peter to continue. "It's about my sister, Susan… You told Tirian the other day that you were still in love with her… but you're married."
"Peter, before you continue, I am not in love with my wife. She wanted to see the world away from her island and meet new people other than having only her father for company. I knew I needed a wife and heirs and she fit the necessary requirements for a queen and was, in fact, an excellent friend. But as far as being in love, we never were quite there even though we did care deeply about each other. Neither of us were, I'm absolutely sure. In fact, she's dropped hints about her interest in you, but you definitely did not hear that from me," he grinned, poking Peter in the ribs and winking.
"Oh! Um… never had a man try to get me together with his wife before. That's definitely a first. Though maybe not an unwanted first… But anyways: Susan…"
"Do you think she'll find her way here?" Caspian asked.
"I don't know," Peter said.
"We've got to try to do something!" Caspian exclaimed. "We have to believe that deep down, she is still the legendary queen she was, not some pretty doll."
"She's turned into only a shell of that, her only good quality retained being her beauty, the one she used to care about the least," Peter said bitterly.
"Peter, she still has all those qualities, no matter how hard she tries to hide it. I love her, Peter, I love her! And if there's anything I can do to help her return to us, I swear I would do it. I would give up my life to let her believe again," he said, grabbing Peter's arm and shaking violently. Peter's eyes widened, and Caspian let go and suddenly mumbled, "Sorry."
"Sorry? About what? Caspian, I want my sister back too! She belongs here with us, not wandering alone there. And I would not be too unhappy if the two of you were together," Peter teased.
"So you're not going to run me through with a sword if I was with her?" Caspian joked. "Be honest."
"Honestly? … To be completely honest…I would be thrilled for you to officially be my brother," Peter said, smiling and giving Caspian a hug. "Let's go to Aslan, the four of us, and ask if there's anything he'll let us do for her."
Susan had finally returned to school after sinking into deep depression for a month. She was still a hollow shell, throwing herself into her work. She ignored all her old girl friends who tried to cheer her up. Even though she looked a wreck, she was still beautiful and boys were flirting with her, but she ignored all of them. She wanted no comfort from anyone, no questions from anyone. She didn't even go to the funeral. They were dead. Gone forever. What was the point of funerals anyways? To stare at dead bodies that would never laugh again? Never play again? Never rule again- rule? What was she thinking? They never ruled; it was just a game.
"Students, we have a new student here today. This is Xavier, from Spain," the teacher announced.
"Thank you, Mr. Pearson," the students said with a thick accent. "Although I prefer to go by X."
"Like the numeral for ten?" some student called out.
Xavier grinned as though he was in on some private joke. "Yes, very much like that."
