Sorry for the unplanned hiatus there and I hope there is some people who are still willing to actually read my story!

I hope you enjoy! Trust me I'll post the next chapter much sooner then I did this one :)


"Mace?" A voice said behind me. I froze.

Oh please anyone else.

"Macy? Talk to me come on." Nick said gently. He walked in front of me and knelt down. He went to touch my face but I stood up before he could.

"There's nothing to talk about Nick. I'm fine!" I said quietly. I tried to smile but it came out as more of a grimace. We stood there in silence for a moment, I looked anywhere else but Nick's face. A little boy and his parents walked by us with a dog. He waited till they passed to speak.

"Is this about your mom? About the fight you guys had? Macy you can tell me! We're friends aren't we?"

My whole body tensed when he said that. Friends. We've never been friends. We can never be friends. Not since he said he hates me, and not after three years of me making a fool of myself in front of him.

I took a deep breath and looked him in the eye, my face as hard as stone, "No Nick. We're not friends."


My horoscope for the month of May:

Capricorn

22 December - 19 January

Your need to be loved can become a trap. Before you can truly experience love, you must first learn to love yourself. When you know you're loveable, love comes your way. But your insecurities tend to make you vulnerable. Don't force, demand, or hold onto love.

Ugh. If only I had read this horoscope three years ago.


Nick's face had a shocked expression on it. The expression quickly turned to hurt.

And it felt good. To see him hurt. For him to feel rejected like I have for the last three years. It seemed like all the resentment for my dad and my mom, and for him were filling my body.

"I heard you that day. Of course it's probably not the first time you said it." I said calmly. Nick looked confused.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" He stuttered. Nick looked like he really didn't know. Which for some reason made me even more angry.

"You said you hated me because I ruined your chance with Linda." I answered loudly. My eyes were starting water. Nick at least had the decency to look ashamed. He closed his eyes tight before speaking.

"I'm sorry Mace. I didn't think you heard that. And I didn't mean it." Nick eyes looked sad as he apologized. But I thought back to my poem and turned away from him to stare at the ocean.

"It doesn't matter Nick. I'm over it. And whatevers happening to me is none of your concern. Thank you for checking on me though." I finished. I waited for a beat before walking back towards the house. As I turned away I heard, almost inaudibly, "You are my concern."

I gasped quietly. I didn't think he remembered.


During one of the last days of freshman year I was having a really bad day. My parents had gotten into a huge fight the night before (the first of many to come) and my dad had stayed at a hotel. A year of failed attempts to get Nick to notice me had left me with the resolve to get over him and move on. But of course, nothing ever goes as planned when it comes to Nick Jonas.

I got to school late because I had cried myself to sleep that night and slept through my alarm. I knew I looked like hell but I couldn't stand the sound of my mother crying quietly in the kitchen, so I left without breakfast.

I remember getting to school, grabbing a late pass and going to my locker. I ended up standing there staring at it. Searching my brain for a combination I knew I would never remember. I heard the sound of someone walking by but I paid no attention. 43…27….35? No. 26….34…45? No.

I slammed my fist into my locker in frustration. I can't do this. All I can hear in my head is my parents screaming at each other, I'll never be able to focus in my classes. My face turned red as I was preparing to cry. I turned away from my locker and froze.

Nick Jonas was six feet away staring at me.

Nick Jonas probably just witnessed my small breakdown.

Nick Jonas looked so cute in that shirt.

I stood there awkwardly for a moment unsure what to do.

"Hey Nick." I greeted quietly. I stood and waited for him to say something. He looked down at his feet awkwardly.

"Hey…" He trailed off. Oh. He doesn't even know my name. After a year of flirting and trying to get to know him, he didn't even bother to learn my name.

"My names Macy."

I turned away angrily and headed for the exit. I shouldn't have even gotten out of bed today.

"Hey wait!" Nick called. I walked faster as angry tears rolled down my face. Nick grabbed my arm and waited till I turned around to let go.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I wiped the tears from my eyes and glared at him.

"Fantastic."

He shook his head and laughed. "Your right. Stupid question."

He stood there and waited for me to say something. But even as excited as I was to be talking about him, I was still mad he didn't know my name.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Nick asked quietly. He ran his fingers through his hair nervously. I noticed he glanced around, as if he was looking for an escape.

Then I felt bad. Its not Nick's fault my parents fought this morning. And whenever I tried to talk to him this year I usually ended up fainting or shrieking so there really wasn't a time when I actually told him my name. And now he's just trying to be nice and ask me what's wrong.

"Look," I began, "thanks for asking if I'm okay but you don't have to be concerned. I'm fine."

Nick smiled and looked down through those beautiful brown eyes and said, "I can't find a pretty girl crying in the hallway and not be worried. At the moment, you are my concern."

I melted. As far as I could see there weren't any other crying girls in the hallway so he had to be calling me pretty. I don't think I really had a response. All I could do was stand there with a dopey smile on my face.

Suddenly the bell rang to signal the end of class. Students started pouring into the hallway. Nick smiled and put a hand on my shoulder.

"See you around Macy." Then he walked down the hallway.

If this had been a cartoon I would have had hearts swirling around my head. Why did I think I would ever be able to get over him?

Nick Jonas and I are destined to be.


A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.
-Jean de La Fontaine


I stood frozen in place. Not quite sure how to react. I turned around to face Nick and found that he had moved closer to me and was now only a few inches away.

I stared up into his brown eyes. They were familiar since I had studied them thousands of times on the posters of him hung all around my room. But Nick's eyes were different in person. They held specks of green and made me feel like I could stare into them for hours without getting bored.

"Macy, I'm sorry if I hurt you. But you can trust me." Nick said softly. He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.

How many times had I imagined this moment? The moment when Nick would actually want me to have a conversation with him. And the moment when he would hold my hand. His hand was bigger then mine and was calloused from playing his guitar so often. It was like I was dreaming in real life.

And I wanted to trust him. To tell him everything I had been going through for the past year. To tell him how much I want him.

But I can't. Because trusting him would mean putting myself out there for the thousandth time and having to feel the sting of Nick's rejection. And that's just something I can't go through again.

I pulled my hand out from his, not roughly but firm enough for him to get the point, and took a deep breath.

"I know I can trust you Nick. But there is a lot of stuff that I need to work through on my own. Okay?" I said quietly. I had said all of this while staring out towards the ocean. When I was done I turned around and headed back to the beach house. A second later I heard Nick shuffling along behind me.

We walked back to the mansion in silence. When I glanced back I saw Nick staring at me. I started blushing and turned my head so he couldn't see my face. But then I heard him laugh softly. As if he knows exactly what he does to me.


An article from psychology today about 'Hating the one you love'

The difficulty that arises as a result of feeling hatred and love toward the beloved, not merely at the same instance but also over an extended period, is the difficulty of coping with profound emotional dissonance. Although the presence of mixed emotions is not necessarily puzzling, the presence of different emotions that are both profound and all encompassing, such as love and hate, toward the same person, seems to be psychologically incompatible.

Wow an article that perfectly describes my feelings toward my Dad. And maybe even Nick. I love both of them in so many ways, but at the same time I can't help but hate them because it seems I'm never enough for them.


"Look Macy I love you. But if you don't tell me what's wrong with you and what happened with Nick right now, I'll hate you for the rest of my life!"

I took my eyes away from my magazine long enough to raise my eyebrow at Stella to show her how unimpressed I was with her threat. Then I went back to flipping through my Seventeen magazine.

Once Nick and I had gotten back to the mansion we sat down and continued to watch cartoons. All the while Stella, Joe, and Kevin were glancing between us trying to figure out what had gone down after my dramatic exit. A little bit later the Jonas Brothers decided we needed more food in the house so they went out for a food run. And of course the second they were out of earshot Stella began her interrogation.

"Okay. I won't hate you. But you still have to tell me!" Stella whined. I yawned and slowly closed my magazine before turning to look at Stella.

"Stella, we…" I dramatically paused, and Stella held her breath, "…made love on the beach and after that we rode on horses into the sunset and confessed our love for each other."

Stella sighed and looked disappointed.

"You don't want to tell me now. Fine! But mark my words Macy, you will break!" Stella declared. I laughed at her words. It felt good to be able to joke around with Stella like I used to without feeling fake. I continued smiling and went back to my magazine. Then the doorbell rang.

"I guess I'll get it since you're so busy keeping secrets." Stella huffed.

She walked slowly to the foyer to the front door to see who it is when I heard Stella say, "Oh my goodness! What a surprise! Macy come here!"

I groaned at the thought of having to move. What could be more important then learning how to perfect the 'just out of the salon hair' look?

I got up and dragged my feet through the living room and to the foyer to see who this mystery person was.

"Stella, this better be fricking Ryan Gosling or something…"

Then I stopped in my tracks.

"Mace! Long time no see, huh?"

It was my Dad.


So...I hope you like it! Comment if you want!