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005. Exuent Left

Sometimes in life, you will meet people who will make you think something along the lines of, "This person would definitely make a good mother or father."

Maybe it's because of their kindness or their ability to diffuse situations quickly and fairly. Sometimes it's because of how capable they are of handling themselves and others. Oftentimes, it's just an aura that you feel whenever you're with them.

You can watch them sometimes, as they walk around humming to themselves or smiling gently as they go about their daily activities. They might be writing a note, organizing a room, or maybe just listening to others as they converse but it's easy to tell that they are perfect parenting material.

Somewhere, deep in your heart, you're putting down your money and betting that they'll have at least two children when they get older.

I knew someone like that back in high school. He was one year my senior, and his name was Tachibana Makoto.

It might have been because he had siblings who were many years younger than him that he learned how to deal with children, but I have a feeling that he had always been that kind of person. Back then, he was the captain to our school's swim team and an older brother figure to us all.

As for myself, I am the younger brother of two, so, if anything, I suppose it was me who was on the receiving end of being parented and watched over all the time. The closest thing I ever got to being a "parent" was, again, back in high school, when I first met my best friend, Hazuki Nagisa.

Despite being four months older than me (it was a big thing back then to him, and he would never let it go; I'm not sure how big a deal it is anymore), he still acted more like a child than anything. That's not to say that he wasn't capable of being mature when the situation called for it, but Nagisa-kun always had a knack for getting into all sorts of situations. Unfortunately, I was often dragged into those schemes of his as well.

In any case, I was in charge of watching after Nagisa-kun a lot of the times, even if I technically didn't have to. If he managed to survive for fifteen years before my meeting him, then I reckon he would have been alright without me pulling him from running into on-coming traffic all the time. But it was hard not to always worry about him.

In fact, I still do, and he's twenty-four now.

Sometimes in life, you meet people of whom you will immediately think, "They will definitely be a good mother or father."

Right now, as I stand in the middle of a room with a large, stuffed rabbit in one hand and a half-empty juice carton in the other, a sobbing child clinging onto one of my legs while the other steps into a puddle of milk that is slowly seeping into the sole of my slipper, and crooked glasses that threatens to fall off my face, I am one hundred percent sure that I am not that person you will meet in life.

"Rei-chan!" Nagisa-kun—my fellow co-worker and the perpetual bane of my existence—calls out to me from the play area, where two children chase each other with model airplanes and dinosaurs. "Hurry up and come over real quick? Sa-chan got clay in her hair again!"

Without making any further calculations or conjectures, I am absolutely positive—

"Reeei-chan!"

—that I am not that person at all.


006. Surface Tension

Although Nagisa never usually paid too closely to class on a regular day, he was finding it particularly difficult today. His face kept flushing, and he simply couldn't wipe the grin off his face properly. Every time he thought he was alright, he start smiling widely again.

He hoped the teacher didn't notice how he kept pressing his palms against his cheeks and his fingers to his lips in an attempt to hide, though he should have been more concerned about how pink his face and ears were.

Nagisa knew it was pretty stupid to get so worked up, but it couldn't be helped. Sometimes, like now, he hated the fact that he had realized that he had developed an actual crush on Rei, because it made him act and feel like a fool.

It was one thing to know that he was nowhere near as academically smart as Rei but another to know that he was being absolutely ridiculous.

Like at night, when he thinks about Rei and starts giggling so hard that even smothering his face into his pillow and under his blankets aren't enough to stave off the laughter. Or when he's spacing out and remembers something innocuously sweet that Rei said to him. The times when he recalls how warm the taller boy feels when he clings onto his arm or off his back can get terribly distracting as well.

Nagisa liked Rei's eyes the most—the way they usually look unamused or sharp but can melt into the softest and kindest gaze he has ever seen (except maybe on Makoto, because he's just that kind of person). He thought that they were an incredible hue too, which matched his hair perfectly. Which, now that he thought about Rei's hair, was wonderful too.

It was unexpected, with how careful he was about looking perfect, but Rei's hair was always in a state of organized chaos. Rei looked like he was perpetually fighting a losing battle with bed-hair, but Nagisa liked that part about him too.

If Nagisa could have, he would constantly be holding Rei's hands, because they were so nice. They were beautiful in a way that Nagisa's weren't. He liked his own hands perfectly well, but Rei's exuded a strong sense of reliability and strength. He was pretty sure Rin and Makoto's were similar, but he still preferred Rei's over anyone else's.

It was probably a problem, how much he liked Rei. He liked everything about him, from his deep voice to the way he held his chopsticks, the way he muttered when he was embarrassed or acted big when he was nervous, and how passionate he got when he was excited or quiet he became when he was thinking hard. The more time he spent with Rei, the more Nagisa came to like him.

At first, he only liked Rei as much as he liked Haruka, Makoto, and Rin, but then he started being more honest with himself and the floor gave way beneath his feet.

Nagisa didn't so much "fall in love" so much as he "plundered to his untimely death into love."

It was definitely a problem.

He sighed as quietly as he could into his hands while remembering the small, gentle smile Rei had given him at lunch. It was kind of random, since the two of them weren't even talking in the first place, but one minute Nagisa was trying to take another bite of his bread and the next Rei had turned to his direction slightly and just… smiled.

His heart skipped at the fresh memory.

Nagisa asked himself a million times a day whether or not Rei might have liked him back too, but it was scary to think about too hard. He would have liked it if Rei returned his feelings, but he had no idea how he was supposed to go about telling him.

Aside from that, it was embarrassing, falling in love with your best friend. It was too cliché, like the manga and anime his sisters adored so much.

He rubbed his cheeks again, since they were getting kind of sore from grinning so hard. Still, he couldn't stop it from coming back like the clingy traitor it was.

Suddenly, the entire classroom became electrified with activity. Everyone was standing up to say goodbye to the teacher. Hastily, he stood up and bowed with the rest of his classmates.

Spacing out to the point of not knowing that class had been dismissed was pretty bad. He started to shove things into his bag haphazardly, as not to be late for swim practice. Someone stopped in front of his desk, making him look up. His gaze had to travel a little higher than usual to meet the eyes of his sudden visitor.

"Rei-chan!" he exclaimed, thankfully sounding as normal and enthusiastic as he usually did when greeting his friend.

"Shall we go?" the taller boy asked with a soft smile.

Nagisa's heart lurched again, and his face turned hot. He smiled back widely. "Yeah! Let's go! Hey, by the way, Rei-chan, did you hear…?"

The two of them walked out of the classroom together while Nagisa continued his story and jostled his shoulder against Rei's the entire time they walked to the locker rooms while giggling.


007. Suspension

"Hey, um," Nagisa said, his hands traveling unconsciously to the strap of his book bag. He wrung the material there and let his eyes dart to the side quickly. When his gaze returned, it didn't quite match up with Rei's properly. He licked his lips and swallowed, a faltering smile making its way to his lips. He doubted Rei could see it though, since he was ducking his head, but that didn't matter.

"So I—" he tried to start again but stopped halfway. Nagisa breathed in deeply.

This was weird in a way that he couldn't quite believe. Walking to the train station after practice was normal for the two of them, but today, he had stopped Rei and asked if they could talk. Of course, the taller boy had agreed to and quietly followed him as Nagisa walked outside.

Nagisa wasn't quite sure how it ended up that he was leaning up against the gritty outer wall of the locker rooms with Rei in front of him, looming there like a curious bird-of-prey, but this was how things were. In the cool shadow of the building, a sense of cool surrealism kept them indefinitely suspended.

He was on the starting block, staring at the cool surface of the rippling pool water. Impact would be smooth but cold. It was always the first split-second of entering the water that comes as a shock, but there was nothing else he could do but to take a deep breath and jump.

He leapt.

"Rei-chan, I like you."

Nagisa saw Rei stiffen up a little and hesitate. He clenched his eyes shut and tried to forget how loudly his heart was beating or how hot his face felt. His bag's strap was mercilessly constricted to death between his tense fingers, although he was the one whose breath was running short and thin.

A touch on his shoulder made him jump and snap his eyes open.

He wasn't exactly sure how things unfolded exactly, but suddenly, Rei's face was in front of his and something dry and warm brushed up against his lips. The contact was gone immediately, but Nagisa was still frozen on the spot.

"I like you too, Nagisa-kun," came Rei's shaking and quiet voice. Then, as if he himself didn't hear it, he said it again. "I like you too."

Now, Nagisa's heart beat a million times faster than he believed was possible, and his mouth was hanging open without making any noise. He tried to say something, but it came out as a strangled noise of confusion.

Suddenly, Nagisa crouched to the floor and covered his face with his hands. Rei was beside him immediately.

"Nagisa-kun? Nagisa-kun, are you okay?"

His voice was laced with concern and worry.

Nagisa curled in deeper on himself and pressed his fingers tighter to his face.

"Rei-chan!" he squeaked against his palms, cheeks itching from mortification and happiness.

There was a moment of silence, and then Rei started to laugh loudly.

Nagisa was so stunned that he dropped his hands and looked up. Strong arms wrapped around his shoulders, and Rei's hair was tickling his nose.

"Nagisa-kun, I like you," the taller boy laughed into his hair while embracing him tightly.

Finally, he snapped out of it and threw his arms around Rei as well. He made a noise of confirmation happily. "Mmn, I like you too, Rei-chan!"