"What are you getting Warren for Valentine's Day?" Kitty asked Thea while the girls were hanging out in Thea's room, just staring at the ceiling. It was a cold day, Warren and Bobby and Peter were playing foosball, and the girls opted for lazing around without the testosterone that builds when little plastic guys with legs melded together kick around a ball.

"Uh…" Thea wasn't a fan of Valentine's Day, which was only 2 days away, and Kitty knew why. She must have forgotten.

"Because I'm really stuck. I have no idea what to get Peter, and this is our first Valentine's Day and well, I don't want it to suck," Kitty said.

"Kit..."

"And I think lingerie would be a little to, you know, tacky. Maybe it is was pretty looking, something with lace, but not vixen or dominatrix lace. Wait, dominatrixes wear leather, right?"

"I really don't..."

"Chocolate? No, that's so overdone, I really think..."

"KITTY! Shut up, will ya?"

Kitty's eyes widened with surprise. "Thea, geez, I was just asking for your advice. No need to get all...oh shit..." Kitty said as realization dawned on her. She looked at her friend apologetically. "I'm an idiot. I'm so sorry, Thea."

"It's okay, can we just not talk about it?"

"'It' being Valentines Day or your brother?"

"Neither," Thea snapped.

"Okay," Kitty said quickly. "Okay."

There was an awkward silence in which Thea was just pissed. She was pissed at Kitty for actually saying the word 'brother'. Irrationally pissed and Thea knew it. Which only made her more pissed. Kitty should be free to say whatever she wanted, and yet, Thea was just so angry.

"I'm going to take a walk," Thea said, practically leaping off her bed and darting out the door before Kitty could say another word.

She thought she was doing better. Really she did. She had somewhat gotten over Warren's father being the devil-monster and was even in a relationship - a somewhat functional relationship where she just never wanted to meet the in-laws and didn't want to tell Warren why. But still, a somewhat functional one, which is more than she could say for herself last year during this time. Last year she was holed up in the gym all day and night, beating up every punching bag she could, past the time when her knuckles were bleeding into the gloves and her legs felt like lead. So yeah, she considered this an improvement.

She made her way outside into the cold afternoon. Bobby had frozen the fountain solid to create an ice rink once again and she missed the calming sounds the flowing water made. Her cheeks, that had been flushed with anger, were now flushed with cold. She inhaled the icy air deeply until it hurt. She enjoyed the feeling. Perhaps she wasn't doing better - she was still inflicting pain upon herself. And then she hated herself for doing the same sort of thing she did before. To resorting to physical pain to numb the emotional kind. She knew what she was doing - just didn't stop her from doing it all the same. And this time...this instant in her life, she couldn't blame how messed up she was by pointing the finger at Warren's father. This time, that moment, it was all her fault.

"Althea, it's really cold out here," a voice said from behind her.

Thea tensed at the interruption, but eased when she realized it was Warren.

"I know," she said. "It's distracting."

"Well, I can think of lots of things we can do that would be distracting and we'd save our fingers and noses from frostbite at the end of the day," Warren said.

Thea smiled ever so slightly, though her back was to Warren. How could he do that? Just say something - something stupid no less - and make her feel so much better?

"Okay," she said, turning around and letting Warren guide her back into the warm mansion.


Warren jangled the keys in his pocket nervously as he walked to her room. He had planned this whole night in detail, and he didn't want things to go wrong. He hadn't seen Thea all day, which was a bit odd to him. Considering it was Valentine's Day and all, he had thought they would be engaging in Valentine's Day-like activities, mainly, making out a lot. However, he knew she was feeling a little off lately and perhaps she was avoiding him since she didn't want to bring him down too.

However, Warren hoped this night would make her feel better. He reached her door and took a quick look at himself. He straightened out his burgundy button-down shirt. It was so hard to get a shirt that fitted his wings not to get too wrinkly. Determining that his appearance was the best it was going to get, he knocked on her door. There was no answer. But he had tracked Kitty down and she, somewhat unwillingly, told him Thea was in her room. She had also said something very strange, "Don't get too angry." Warren didn't know what that meant, but he knew something was just off.

"Thea, I know you're in there. I'm going to open the door," he said before turning the knob and letting himself in. She was curled in fetal position on the bed with her back to him.

"I just really want to sleep," she said in a scratchy voice.

"Are you sick?" Warren asked, coming towards her bed.

"No."

"Thea, tell me what's bothering you," Warren whispered.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said with a tone of finality. Warren hated that tone. It was the put-up-the-walls-block-everyone-out-and-shoot-anyone-who-tries-to-get-inside tone.

He thought about using that certificate she had given him, the one that said she would tell him a secret. But in such a short amount of time things were different. They were together now, and people together shouldn't be forcing secrets out of each other with pieces of paper. The whole concept, though nice before, seemed wrong and violating now. However, it would be nice if she told him freely and Warren would do everything possible to have her open up to him.

"You know that doesn't help," he said, perhaps a bit too paternalistically.

"Neither does you pestering me after I tell you I don't want to talk about something," she snapped back, still not looking at him.

Warren inhaled deeply to try and calm himself down. He was getting angry at Thea and that wouldn't help the situation. "Okay. So, I was thinking," he began, trying to change the subject, "we could take out one of the cars and drive to town. I made a reservation at this little Italian restaurant that got great reviews on the Internet. It's supposed to be cozy and romantic. And then afterwards we could…"

"Warren, that sounds really nice, but I don't want to do anything tonight."

"But it's Valentine's Day."

"I know."

"Why can't we do something together?" Warren asked quietly. He had planned everything, he was going to show her a wonderful romantic evening. And now she wasn't even considering it.

"I hate Valentine's Day."

Warren decided to play dumb. Maybe Thea would tell him what was bothering her then. "Well, okay, it's a little commercialized and…"

"You know that's not what I'm saying. Give me a little more credit," she snapped. She still hadn't even looked at him. Okay, now he was angry. Credit? She didn't deserve any credit.

"How are we supposed to be in this relationship when you won't talk to me?"

"How are we supposed to be in a relationship when you won't stop asking questions?"

"Thea, I care about you. When people care about others, they ask questions to find out what's wrong. Deal with it," he said snidely.

"Look," Thea said, finally sitting up and turning around to face him. Whatever she was going to say fell silent on her lips. Warren could see that she had been crying. Not recently, but her eyes were still puffy and her cheeks still flushed. "You dressed up," Thea said.

"Yeah," Warren said.

"You look nice," she said.

"Thanks."

"My brother died on Valentine's Day," she said abruptly, the words sounding odd as they tumbled from her mouth. Warren was silent for a while, many things running through his head. He waited to see if Thea was going to continue, but she didn't.

"I didn't know you had a brother."

"I never talked about him."

There was a long and awkward silence. Warren's head was racing with this new information. What did he look like? What was he like?

"How did he die?" Warren knew this was a killer question. Thea's eyes were dark.

"It was when I was fourteen. He was ten. Our parents weren't home so I was babysitting. And we were hanging out in the front yard when a neighborhood friend of Jamie's came by with his older brother. I had a crush on the older brother, who was sixteen. Jamie was my brother," Thea explained.

"I figured," Warren said, sitting down on the bed and placing his hand over Thea's.

"Bryan and I, Bryan was the older brother, were talking for a bit while Jamie and Kevin were tossing a football around. All of the sudden Jamie shouts out, "Bryan, my sister loooooves you! I read it in her diary." I was so pissed and embarrassed. I called him an asshole and stormed back into the house. I cranked up my music until I couldn't hear anything else and just screamed. I really liked Bryan, and you know, back then I thought Bryan was "the one" and all that crap. I just laid on my bed being pissed. I didn't hear the car tires screech or everyone calling for me or anything like that. Bryan ran into my house and burst into my room and for a second I thought he was going to tell me he liked me too. But instead, he shouted over the music that Jamie got hit by a car. I ran down the stairs and out the front door and by the time I got to his body, Jamie was dead. He was such a stupid kid for running into the street for that football. But that doesn't matter. I could have saved him. I could have…by that time I knew I could heal, so I could have…if I had gotten there in time. If I had stayed out there like I was supposed or if I hadn't cranked up the music. I think about that a lot. He didn't die instantly, so I could have gotten to him…I could have."

By this time Thea's voice was cracking and getting that phlegmy quality a voice gets just before someone cries. But she didn't start crying again.

He leaned over and hugged her tightly. She stiffened momentarily before sinking into his hug. What could he say? She was clearly upset at her brother's death, but what was even more apparent was how guilty she felt about the entire situation.

Warren wondered how she got from the guilt-ridden teen to the woman she was now. What had her path been? When had she done those six years since Jamie's death?

Long moments passed where the two sat in silence, unable to find more words.

Finally, Warren whispered, "It's easy to always think of the hypotheticals and make yourself feel guilty. God knows I've done it for most of my life. But that's a trap. You heal when you can heal, and that's all you can do."

Thea looked away and blinked hard to get out the water from her eyes. "Sounds so simple," she said angrily. "So fucking easy."

"And it's not," Warren whispered knowingly.

Another long silence passed.

"I want to sleep," Thea said.

"Okay," Warren replied, breaking the hug. He figured that was his cue to leave.

Thea grabbed his arm. "Can you stay with me tonight?"

Warren's head spun. He had never slept over before. "Yeah, yeah, of course. I'm going to change into sweats."

"No, just take off the fancy clothes," Thea said abruptly.

Warren looked at her quizzically. "You mean, just be in boxers?"

Thea smirked, her flirtatious nature returning. "Why not? It is Valentine's Day after all."

Warren blushed, he knew he did.

Thea unbuttoned his shirt and unfastened the snaps by his wings, causing goose bumps to erupt across Warren's chest and back.

She had never undressed him. In their relationship thus far, there just had been a lot of kissing. And sure there was some grinding thrown in as well, but there were always clothes on – much to Warren's chagrin – lots of clothes on. And sure Warren's hands had sometimes found their way under Thea's shirt and as far up to the fabric of Thea's bra, but that's pretty much where they stopped. Warren had somewhat felt like he was in high school again, but at the same time, was unwilling to go further than Thea encouraged.

Looked like she was encouraging now.

"I don't want to have sex," Thea said, breaking Warren out of his thoughts.

Well, so much for that idea.

"That's fine," Warren said. He wasn't about to go as far as to say "Me too!" because that was a downright lie.

"But there's other stuff we can do," Thea suggested as she crossed her arms in the front to lift off her shirt, exposing her plain white bra.

Warren gulped. "Sounds…good," he said.

Thea kissed him passionately. "I think it's time for some new Valentine's Day memories."


Thea couldn't wipe the grin off her face the next day. She wasn't used to being so happy and glowy. That was Jube's job. But a lifetime of nights with Warren similar to the night before could make Thea permanently happy and glowy and give Jubilee a run for her money.

Kitty immediately picked up on it. Kitty dragged Thea to her room quickly after breakfast where both Warren and Thea were catching each other's eye and suppressed wide grins.

"What happened last night?" Kitty asked with a smirk on her face.

Thea smiled. "It was nice," she said shyly.

"Ah, c'mon, details! Well, I don't need explicit details but you know, just a little picture," Kitty said.

"We…" Thea made some awkward hand gestures and Kitty's eyes lit up.

"You had sex?" she whispered excitedly.

"No, no," Thea said. "But it was…nice. It was a great night," Thea said. She realized she didn't really want to tell Kitty more. This was something between her and Warren, something private, and hopefully Warren wasn't gossiping with the guys.

"I'm happy for you," Kitty said, understanding that her friend did not want to say more. "You deserve it."

Thea went back to her room and collapsed onto her bed. The pillows still smelled like Warren. Thea was not an experienced lover by any means but she had felt ridiculously sexy and powerful when her hands caused Warren to lose control. His wings had extended to their full glory, inadvertently knocking over and breaking the lamp on the night-stand, but Thea hadn't cared. As she looked up at him, white feathers surrounding the two of them, she had felt…safe. And that was an amazing feeling. Not only did it feel wonderful when Warren reciprocated her attentions, but falling asleep with him did not feel weird or make her feel vulnerable. Quite the opposite in fact.

A little nagging voice in the back of her head warned her not to let him get so close. He was, after all, a Worthington, and when push came to shove, who knew if he would side with her or his father if that situation were to ever come up. Also, the voice reminded her that last night was a form of escapism from her festering guilt over her brother's death. Thea acknowledged that yes, it was escapism, but she liked it and it helped her feel better as any good quality escapism would do. Further, knew there was nothing she needed to face. Rather, she needed to let it go, she knew she needed to forgive herself for her brother's death. However, until that day came, she was okay with using some escapism.


Author's Note: I'm alive! I'm sorry for the long delay – as you can all imagine – life happens. The second half of 2007 held a lot of changes for me and I didn't have the time to just sit down and write. Getting back into Thea and Warren's heads was also challenging after so long. I actually wrote out this chapter very differently, but then decided I didn't like it. When I finish the story, I'll post "outtakes" – kind of like deleted scenes of movies. ) For those of you who read Against the Grain/With the Tide (LOTR), I'm still STUCK, but I'm trying to work through my writer's block on that and finish the next chapter. Hope you are well and thanks for sticking with me.