A/N: Hey everyone! Ren here, (no, wait! Don't leave!) It's been a while, ja?

Don't all look so excited to see me, jeez.

Anywho, here's chapter two. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated! (hinthint)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. And I don't THINK Missa does...IF she does I will be seriously ticked of because um, jeez. Holding out on me much?

The Eccentric Files

Act2: Making Your Move

From: GreenEyed07

To: Angel4awhile

Subject: WHAT HAPPENED?!

INO, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?! YOUR LAPTOP AUTOMATICALLY SENT ME THE REPLY, AND HE PULLED OUT A GUN?!

You better not be fucking dead, Ino! I started crying in History and HE was looking at me like I'm a psycho and Kurenai-sensei sent me to the nurse and now the nurse thinks I'm depressed and she kept glancing at my wrists and now I'm home AND I'M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT YOU SO IF YOU DON'T REPLY TO THIS IN TWO DAYS I'M HUNTING YOUR ASS DOWN.

If you're not dead (which you better not be, Boar, or so help me Kami I am resurrecting you and there WILL be hell to pay) then he doesn't love me.

He doesn't! He can barely stand to be around me! I'm gonna faaaaail!

This is another reason why you can't be dead. I NEED YOU FOR THESE KINDS OF THINGS! And whenever I try to smile at him, he just glares at me (and that DOES NOT MEAN HE'S UNDRESSING ME WITH HIS EYES!).

Two days, Yamanaka. Two days.

Still worried,
Sakura

-The Diary of Ino Yamanaka-

May 5, 2007

Because fate has decided to hate me, yet again, there appears to be a hijacker on the bus. I don't know what he wants, or what he's doing, but I think we're in some really deep shit. I hope Sakura doesn't freak out; I slammed my laptop closed accidentally when the driver was shot.

Oh God, I--I can't believe it. He just...died. And, ugh, there's blood all over the floor and everyone is screaming and scared, (we aren't now, being properly threatened has shut all of us up,) and I don't...I don't know what to do.

This wasn't supposed to happen, I was supposed to stick around until graduation and set Sakura up with Sasuke--I mean 'Him.'

Well, I suppose I had plenty of chances. And it's not like I can really do anything now...

Okay, no. That's ridiculous; I'm not dead yet. Have to think like Sakura here--Mrs.I-am-always-good-in-a-crisis-it's-just-the-small-things-I-can't-deal-with. Apparently, bus-napping-guy has an accomplice, which is why we're all frozen, wondering where the sniper is.

It could be anyone--even pineapple-head or those grand parents.

So I'm going to have to figure out who it is, disable them, make sure no one is killed in aforementioned disabling, and over-power the bus driver.

Enemies:

-Hijacker
-Unknown

Wounded/Dead:

-Driver

Allies:

Okay, so that'd be none. Do I have any weapons? Almost all of my luggage is stored away on that freaky compartment in the bus--all I have right now is my laptop, some pocky and some make up. And a hair scrunchie.

Alright, I cannot do this. At all, like, even if I DID manage to figure out who the other person was, I'm probably one of the smaller people on this thing. Except for the toddler over there and maybe the grandparents.
(They're still bigger; it's just that I don't start moaning in pain every time I attempt to stand up like they do. Arthritis must be a bitch.)

Need ally.

Can I trust PH? He doesn't seem like the bad sort of guy--he likes strawberry pocky after all...

Hmmn, this could be risky. Number One rule of being a girl is to NEVER trust your boyfriend. Then again, it's not like we're going out...

Ohmigod.

Are we FRIENDS?! Oh shit, no way. I DO NOT HAVE MALE FRIENDS. That's Sakura's forte. I do not do that 'nice' crap.

Still, he liked my music, ate my pocky, and I don't think he could be hiding a gun on him anywhere...

I will ask PH to join me in the quest-to-save-the-bus.

...Nnngh...Shut up brain, this is not the time for the mission impossible theme song!

Oh, and if I die and this journal is found, than everything goes to Sakura. Everything. You hear me girl? Sell it and go to med school--get out of that evil little town. You know you aren't suited for that 'nurse' crap, and eventually, your family will get over it.

And I hear Sasuke's going to college at Princeton. Follow him there babe, and write to me in heaven.

I'm going in. (Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to say that?)

--

Haruno,

I'll meet you at the Laundromat after school--4 p.m. And stop ruining all of my clothing--it's annoying.

Not that I care, but what was so incredibly depressing that you had to blubber all over me? Some innocent pedestrian didn't just get mauled by a rabid freak, did they?

Oh wait, that was me.

--Sasuke

--

Sasuke-kun,

Why the Laundromat? Are you gonna make me wash your clothes or something, as retribution for ruining your shirt that one day? I said I was sorry…

And you know, we probably shouldn't pass notes in class…

-Sakura

--

Haruno,

I was referring to the shirt I am wearing right now. The one you cried all over during lunch. (Do not do that again.)

You had better have an excuse.

And don't call me 'Sasuke-kun.'

--Sasuke

P.S. Because learning about how to find the volume of a cone is so intensely difficult that it requires your full attention?

--

Sasuke,

I have my reasons, and I'm sorry I cried all over you, but would you really care about my "excuse"

--Sakura

P.S. Yes, I suck at math—can YOU find the volume of a cone?

--

I don't care.

--Sasuke

P.S. Where's your friend Ino? She was supposed to help out with our geometry project, right?

P.S. Like it matters.

--

Sasuke,

Exactly. And I don't know where Ino is, so please don't ask me.

--Sakura

--

Haruno,

When is she going to be back then? Or am I stuck working with you for the rest of the semester? (Along with Naruto. But he's not going to work at all, so whatever.)

--Sasuke

--

Sasuke,

I don't know when, I don't know where she is; hell, I don't even know if she's alive.
And you sound like working with me will be such a hassle. I'll do my work; you'll do yours, since you hate me so much.

--Sakura

--

Sakura,

Alive? What the hell? Is that why you were crying?

As if Yamanaka could be killed that easily. I don't believe it. She better hurry up and get back here.

--Sasuke

--

Sasuke,
Maybe. Ino asked me not to tell anyone, and she hasn't been replying to my e-mails.
I can't tell you, and frankly, I'd rather you forget about my crying.
And since you've made it SO CLEAR THAT YOU DON'T CARE, why are you asking?

...I'm sorry. I'm just worried, that's all.

--Sakura

P.S- That's the first time you've called me by my first name...

--

Sakura,

I'll just assume that Yamanaka has done something stupid like running away and will not be joining us for the rest of the school year then. And I don't care, I just needed to know how our group is functioning.

And since you seem to think that Yamanaka has died simply because she has stopped answering your e-mails for...what, a day? I would appreciate it if you would let me know when she starts talking to you again, I would like to e-mail her the assignment. She is GOING to do her share of the work, no matter what drama has befallen her.

And don't give me that 'but-she's-dead!' crap. I was there when she bungee-jumped off the cafeteria roof and when she knocked the line-backer into a coma--she's not going to die over a faulty internet connection.

And what did you get for problem number four? It's in terms of pi, right?

--Sasuke


P.S. I didn't say your name, I wrote it. And why is that such a big deal, may I ask?

--

Sasuke,

Her last words to me were: Oh shit Sakura, I think he's got a gu-

So I do believe I have a reason to be worried about my best friend.

I got 47.

--Sakura

--

Sakura,

How the Hell did you get 47? It's a circle, the area of a circle is found by squaring the radius and multiplying it by pi. We have to leave this is standard radical form--there HAS to be pi in your number.

Poke Naruto. He's snoring again, and if the teacher catches him we're ALL going to be in trouble.

Since you are apparently convinced that your friend has just died, why don't you look up the police page on the internet or whatever. Or a news page--terrorist attacks are usually on those.

--Sasuke

P.S. We're really screwed if you can't get your stupid friend to talk to
you. She was the only one of us remotely good at math.

--

Sasuke,
Bite me. Aren't you supposed to be the prodigy here? (Naruto, if you keep reading over my shoulder like that, I'm going to stab you in the eyeballs with my pencil. Yes. Good boy. Back away).

And don't you think I've already done that? There has been NOTHING so
far.

--Sakura

--

Sakura,

YOU were supposed to be SMART. YOU were the one who graduated with the
highest GPA from junior high.

And I'm seriously getting annoyed by all of this. Could you actually LOOK
AROUND the next time you chuck a ruler at someone and maybe hit THEM and
not
ME?! Yes, I REALIZE that she insulted Yamanaka, but she was on the other
side of the room from me. Kindly go to your nearest supermarket and purchase yourself a brain.

-Sasuke

--

Sasuke,

Okay, Mr. High-And-Freaking-Might, YOU'RE the prodigy here! I might have graduated at the top of the class, but you were second, and we were close, remember? Besides, Math has ALWAYS been my weakest point, vile thing that it is.

And I'm quite sorry, but I really didn't care WHO I hit. And you deserved that. I mean, C'MON. Kindly go to your nearest supermarket and purchase yourself a brain?

My cousin in second grade can come up with better comebacks than that.

--Sakura

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The PDA of Nara Shikamaru

The Will of Nara Shikamaru

Choji can have whatever he wants. Unless Temari wants it, because there's no way he'll fight HER over my old lampshade.

Oh, and set my cat free, Choji. Preferably in Africa so a vulture will eat it or something.

Alright, it was nice knowing all of you. Have to go now because this key board is annoyingly small and some blonde girl wants to write out her will too.

The Will of Yamanaka Ino

Well, Sakura already knows this, but I want all of my stuff to go to her. So yeah, she gets everything, and she BETTER use it to get to college. Yeah, if some official person is reading this, you BETTER fund that girls way through that hell hole.

Because, you know what? In about twenty years you'll be dying from like cancer or whatever, and SHE'LL be the only person who has a chance of saving your sorry ass.

Where was I?

Oh, right; the assigning of my stuff. Well, whatever Sakura doesn't want or cant sell can go to…the hobos. Yes, the hobos. Because hobos need stuff so that they can add it to their random collection of stuff and carry it around and do…hobo-ish things…

Oh, actually, I give my music collection and pocky to PH. Also known as Nara Shikamaru, (The hell? He has a NAME!?) for keeping me company on the bus. Enjoy. Though I don't know you managed to survive and I didn't. (Ass hole, don't you know that you're always supposed to let the girl survive?

Sakura won't want my cat, so I guess dad will have to take care of it. Sorry for running out on you daddy. Hopefully you'll forgive me one day.

Gotta go stop a bus-jacking now.

An Entry in the PDA of Nara Shikamaru

How can that girl type so fast on these things?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: GreenEyed07

To: Angel4awhile

Subject: YOU SUCK!

You know, apparently, I kindamaybesorta need you around to shut my big trap.

I have just been the BIGGEST bitch to Sasu- him. I meant him. I just snapped at him and did all but tell him to go fuck off. Maybe I did; I can't remember I was so distraught. You'd be very proud of me, y'know, if you were alive. I also might need you since I started slobbering all over him in Chemistry when I got your e-mail.

...so now he hates me. Great. Just my freaking luck, huh pig? I really wish you were here, because I need someone to tell me how stupid I am. HE would be glad to, I'm sure, but I'm really not in the mood to put up with
him right now, and ditto with me. Then again, I don't blame him.

Argh, fuck. Now my chances with him have been like, shot to hell, right Ino-chan? I know, it's been a while since I called you that, hasn't it? Well, no worries, since you're probably dead right now. Or maybe not, but I have no clue since you HAVEN'T BEEN E-MAILING ME BACK!

One more day, Yamanaka. That's all you get before I go GI Jane on everyone's ass.

-Sakura

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From: Angel4awhile

To: GreenEyed07

Subject: Lollipops!

Hey forehead girl, sorry I've been MIA. I suppose I get to tell you about how I heroically saved the day now, right?

Don't look at me like that. I was seriously phenomenal.

Alright, so when I slammed my laptop shut, that was when the driver was shot. Yes, evil bulky guy whose-name-is-apparently-Larry shot the driver. It was...awful. He sort of bled everywhere.

So then of course, everyone started screaming, (except PH, he just woke up from his nap and looked confused) until Larry roared for everyone to shut up, that this was a hi-jacking, and that his accomplice was hidden somewhere on the bus. That it could be anyone.

We all shut up.

So, Larry started driving us out to--I don't know where. I wrote in my journal for a bit, and then wrote out my will on PH's PDA since I thought it was prudent to have a digital copy. And then we started trying to figure out
who the accomplice was.

Actually, PH tried to figure out who the accomplice was. I alternatively ranted inside my head or just stared at PH who is AWFULLY sexy when he's concentrating.

There were twenty people on the bus, including Larry, PH and I. I was pretty sure that the grandparents weren't the culprits, since one of them was having a seizure-type-fit and the other was trying to calm them down. And
I just KNEW PH wasn't it because...well...he's PH.

PH had a cell phone, so I dialed 911 while he pretended to make out with me in a final affectionate display. (You have no idea how much that freaked me out. I thought he was dry heaving on me until he gave me his phone.)

So after around thirty minutes, the cop cars started coming. Larry started being a potty-mouth and swerving around like a maniac, (he drove one poor police man into a ditch) and then after a while, he GRABED ME, STUCK A GUN TO MY HEAD AND YELLED THAT IF THE POLICE MEN DIDN'T LEAVE HIM ALOND, HE WAS GOING TO BLOW MY HEAD OFF.

I was, of course, very, very still.

And then PH, (that traitor) said, "You don't have anymore ammo."

Larry got all freaky and was like, "What do you mean? Of course I do!"

PH: "Actually, you don't. You want to drive this bus over a cliff or something; you only needed one bullet to kill the driver. Your partner's the one with the big guns, if you actually had any other shots, you'd have gone at the police men."

...DO NOT ANTAGONIZE HIM PH! I AM THE ONE WHO'S GOING TO BE IN PAIN IF YOU'RE WRONG!

And then PH dodged a bullet. I'm not even kidding you, he threw himself onto the floor a millisecond before some woman at the back fired her gun.

Because apparently, he had known someone was going to open fire at him. Apparently his entire speech had been designed for that.

Some big, burly guy tackled the woman, and I kneed Larry and then it was pretty much over.

Well, that was exciting. We have now confirmed that PH, (Shikamaru. Must remember that his name is Shikamaru,) is a genius.

I'm sorry I didn't e-mail you for like two days, but it took me a while to get to New York, I had to walk 10 miles before someone FINALLY gave me a ride. Unfortunately, this person was Shikamaru's 'Temari,' who was on the
way to pick up her shnookums.

Would it totally freak you out to know that I'm stay with them right now?

Three's a crowd man. All the more reason for this Temari chick to GO.

--Love, Ino

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From: GreenEyed07

To: Angel4awhile

Subject: What the hell do lollipops have to do with anything?!

So that's why you haven't been e-mailing me? Because you've been too busy "heroically" saving the day and making out with PH and attempting to kill Temari?

If I wasn't so glad that you're alive, I would've tried to kill you. You're lucky, y'know, Ino-pig. Your deadline was today and I was about to make my way to New York. And I totally cannot believe you were checking out PH (Shikamaru, huh? I hope you're not gonna start calling him Deer Boy now...) whilst BEING HI-JACKED!

Shnookums...

You've gotta be kidding me. I would rather sprork out my eyeballs then ever call HIM that. Speaking of which, he's looking at me oddly again, since I started crying. I, uh, maybe told him that you're gone.

IT WAS NOT MY FAULT, OKAY?! I WAS DISTRAUGHT AND HE WAS BEING AN ASSHOLE SO I WAS A BITCH TO HIM BUT I WAS WORRIED AND HE...he kind of comforted me, in his own weird way.

...Do you think I should apologize to him, Pig?

(Oh, and poison this Temari's water. Or...uh, PUT HAIR DYE IN HER SHAMPOO BOTTLE! HELL YEAH! MAKE IT LIKE, BLUE OR GREEN OR SOMETHING!)

-Sakura (who is still going to kill you when she next sees you)

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To: GreenEyed07

From: Angel4awhile

Subject: I suck LOLLIPOPS! (Oh, I crack myself up...)

Yep! I survived my first hi-jacking. I am seriously jazzed. And I'm glad that you didn't try to hunt me down, because then you would have seen me crying all over the place. It was heroic crying but still--I was scared. Scared enough to cry on PH--SHIKAMARU'S chest while Temari was watching.

HA.

Oh dear, well, enough about the Ino crisis's, lets focus on yours. So, from what I can tell, you started crying after I sent you that one e-mail about him having a gun, and then being the delicate and feminine thing you are, you latched onto him. (Sneaky.)

And he was probably and ass and didn't know how to deal with a crying girl and shoved you off, am I right? And then after provoking you for a while to figure out why you cried on him, you snapped, and now he's sulking?

Ho-hum...

I suppose...you can warm up to him. Yes, I realize that he is your one true love and all that crap--I mean lovely romantic stuff--but do NOT apologize! We are playing hard to get. Just, I don't know, act more open and slightly friendlier. If you absolutely must apologize, here is your line:

"Hey, I'm sorry about the other day. I was kind of freaking out. It's cool, right?"

And then grin nervously. Practice in front of a mirror or something. And say this in front of Naruto, because you know that if Sasuke is an asshole again Naruto will thoroughly kick his ass for being mean to 'Sakura-chan.'

Yes, I am laughing at you. Quite the love triangle you have going there.

--Ino

P.S. How did SASUKE comfort you? Are you sure you aren't high?

P.P.S. I planted a playgirl magazine under her pillow. Let's see what happens when Shikamaru finds it...

To: Angel4awhile

From: GreenEyed07

Subject: That sounds so wrong...

...you were crying all over her boyfriend's chest while she watched?

Do you WANT to get yourself killed?! YOU CAN'T DIE NOW, DAMMIT! I CAN'T PASS HISTORY WITHOUT YOU!

No, I say we go back to Ino's crisis, because Sakura's crisis is too much for her to handle, especially at the level of embarrassment she went through due to HIM.

I, uh, well, I started crying into my hands, and he thought I was having an epileptic fit or something so he came over to see if I was dead and I, erm, sorta attacked him. And then proceeded to wail and sob all over his shoulder. I think I might've freaked him out, because he almost killed himself with whiplash he tried to pry me off him so fast.

After that I think I called him a jerk, and then proceeded to excuse myself from Hikugari-sensei (who allowed me to go to the bathroom, thank Kami) where I kept on crying. And then he threw a note at me, and I was all pissed at him so I, uh, kind of flipped out on him.

I've decided I'm not gonna apologize; he deserved to get his ass handed to him via note-form.

Naruto will stick up for me, but it's only because he loves me as a sister. And yes, he told me this, because guess what? He and Hinata-chan are now going out! It only took him like, four years to figure out that she's been in love with him since 7th grade. Oh, and Neji finally took that stick out of his ass and now he and Tenten are dating as well.

You and PH- erm, Shikamaru are...circling each other (and have already made out, damn you) Tenten-chan and Neji are together, Hinata-chan and Naruto are together, and Sasuke-kun hates me. Fantastic.

(Bite me, Ino. He DID kind of comfort me. He said that I was being stupid for believing you were dead.

(Oh Pig, it's days like this I'm glad to call you my best friend, you sneaky girl you).

—Sakura

To: GreenEyed07

From: Angel4awhile

Subject: This is further proof that you have a dirty mind

HAHAHA, THERE IS NOTHING SHE CAN DO ABOUT ME CRYING ON HER BOYFRIEND'S CHEST, FOR I WAS A TRAUMATIZED FEMALE.

Yes. I win.

You IDIOT, he did not think you were having an epileptic fit, (whatever the hell that is) he was OBVIOUSLY making sure that his glaring victim was okay! IT'S CALLED CONCERN--HE IS JUST IN DENIAL!

Really Sakura, you need higher self esteem. I mean, why WOULDN'T he dig you--I mean, fall in love with you?

And good job on not apologizing. You are right, because we are women and therefore automatically right. Do not defy my divine logic; I have been taking lessons from Neji.

And--Hinata and Naruto?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?! I feel so out of the loop and it's only been three days!

Tenten and Neji are easier for me to believe. I mean, he so obviously liked her. What with those 'private tutoring' sessions. Yeah, right. I'm sure they--ah, had several oral exams.

Actually, I haven't technically made out with PH. The first time I just wanted to wake him up, and he wasn't really a knowing participant. And that time on the bus doesn't count either since we weren't even kissing; he just sort of draped himself on me.

And Sasuke does not hate you!

You know what? I think it's time to pull out the big guns. Oh yes, it's time for...

Operation: Make-Sasuke-Jealous.

Muahahahahaha.

--Ino

P.S. Thanks, I like having you as a best friend too.

P.P.S. And by the way, how's the math project going? You only have about a month to get it finished, don't you?

P.P.P.S. I have a job. For the first time in my life. I work at McDonalds. Laugh and I will kill you.