Disclaimer: Of course I own Naruto! Duh, can't you tell that my name is Masashi Kishimoto? I mean, hello, how freaking obvious is it? I totally own it. Not.
From: GreenEyed07
To: Angel4awhile
Subject: ARE YOU DOING DRUGS?!
Yeah. Denial. Riiight. He probably just wanted to make sure I was okay so that if I died they couldn't pin the blame on him. I can just see it now, him saying that, "Even in death, Haruno, you're still annoying."
...You talk to Neji? When the hell did that happen?
Whaaat? Hinata and Naruto are TOTALLY believable; you should see how adorable they look together. He carries her books for her in between classes, and in the classes that we share, he's always glancing at her. He'll also take her backpack from her after school, and he'll make sure she has lunch and stuff. It's...so sweet.
Haha, I know. I mean, it was obvious but most people were like, "Tenten and Neji? NO WAY!" But that was before some guy (some cocky freshman) smacked Tenten's butt, and Neji saw. I heard he's gonna be in the hospital for about two weeks.
...I honestly think you're doing crack, or weed, or some various form of drugs that make your brain resemble a splattered egg.
I mean, HONESTLY Ino. Make SASUKE, Mr. too-cool-to-talk-so-I'll-just-kill-you-via-glare, the guy who hates ALL females; you want to make him jealous over ME. The pink-haired girl with a big forehead?
Do they secretly drug your French-fries or something?!
There's no way that would ever work. Ever.
-Sakura
P.S- Yeah, it's due in a month. Oh, and Sasuke-kun still wants your half of the work.
From: Angel4awhile
To: GreenEyed07
Subject: No, but I did hang out by the deep fryer for like three hours.
Oh Sakura, when Sasuke says 'annoying,' he REALLY means, 'Oh-my-god-you-are-the-angel-of-my-life-PLEASE-TAKE-ME-NOW!' And what the hell? WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU TO BELIEVE THAT HE COULD LIKE YOU?! You're a very attractive girl Sakura, and smart too. We might have some trouble getting you into Princeton since you only JUST squeeze by on math--but hey, Sasuke's going there on a sports scholarship/theater department.
And this is Sasuke, Sakura. How he ever got a scholarship for theater, I will never know. I mean, does he even have any expression? (I ask you because you are the resident Sasuke expert.)
But whatever, you're a great med, so we'll get you in somehow.
Ahhhh...the Neji encounter. I made a pact with him to never tell about that incident in which we had a conversation, (does screaming at each other count?) So I guess you'll just have to ask him!
...You might want to get Tenten to ask for you, actually.
I think I might have completely missed the Naruto/Hinata action. Honestly, why do I always miss the good stuff?
And you don't have to worry your little---well...kind of--pink head about the SUPER-SECRET-PLAN-OF-DOOM Sakura! I'll take care of everything!
My advice to you for now; play hard to get. And, ah, open your eyes to other men.
--Ino
P.S. Do not work at McDonalds. Ever. This place is seriously hell on Earth. I need to find a friend so I can mock my supervisors with them.
P.P.S. Are you serious?! I RUN AWAY and SASUKE WANTS ME TO DO MY HOMEWORK!?
...I'm serious, OPEN YOUR EYES TO OTHER MEN. (That prick.)
To: Angel4awhile
From: GreenEyed07
Subject: ...I have no witty retort to that
Okay now I KNOW you're on drugs! Has that Temari bitch been offering you food and stuff? If she does, DO. NOT. TAKE. IT!
I know I'm a very attractive girl, blah blah blah, but not to HIM I'm not. I mean, Sasuke-kun could be GAY for all we know, what with the lack of attention he pays to his fan girls. I mean, any other guy would be thrilled to have girls throw themselves at their feet.
Sasuke-kun just tells them to go jump off a building.
See?! Besides, he's ALWAYS mean to me, he hates me. And I love him, but you know that saying, right? Everyone will always hurt you, but it's up to you to decide who's worth the pain. And, I mean, if he dislikes me so much, and is just an asshole in general... then maybe he really ISN'T worth it.
(Oh, and he's in drama. You'd be surprised at what Sasuke-ku-- Sasuke can accomplish when he wants to).
Yeah, asking Tenten to ask him is a good idea. Or maybe not, since their lips might be otherwise... ahem, engaged in other activities excluding talking. Unless...does moaning count as talking?
It was really rather frightening, catching them making out behind the stairwell. Can wash and wash and wash, and yet I'll never feel clean again. My eyes STILL burn.
And what other men do you suggest? I swear to God, if you set me up with yet ANOTHER pervert who's trying to already get into my skirt within the first five minutes, I am going to shove a Big Mac up your nose.
-Sakura
P.S- Wow, that sucks. Quit; go work in Dunkin Donuts! They have awesome coffee! Or Starbucks, perhaps?
P.P.S- Pig, this is SASUKE we're talking about. Are you HONESTLY surprised?
To: GreenEyed07
From: Angel4awhile
Subject: Does this mean I win?!
Actually, Temari did give me some food. She gave it to Shikamaru also (LOOK! I HAVE STOPPED CALLING HIM PH! Am very proud of self) so I'm pretty sure it wasn't poisoned. And just in case she smeared some on the plate or whatever, I fed a little to his cat.
Yes, Shikamaru has a cat. I adore it. He refers to it as 'The Thing.' Temari calls it; 'EEK!' and I call it 'Mr. Butters.'
Mr. Butters is a lovely cat. Pale yellow, white stomach, and one red eye, one green eye. Apparently, his eye has a burst blood vessel. Shikamaru picked him up off the streets a couple years ago--or something. Wait, no, his roommate did, and Shikamaru got stuck with him.
Temari hates cats. This is because Mr. Butters/The Thing/EEK! likes to bite Temari, pee on her clothes/bed/whatever and will basically just trip her up whenever it can.
I love Mr. Butters. We get along very nicely. (If you snigger at me and start calling me a cat freak again, I will hurt you.)
Oh, Sakura, he said something bitchy again, didn't he? You know what? This is just further proof that he wants to shag your brains out. I mean, date you. Ahem.
Because, OBVIOUSLY, Sasuke just doesn't know how to deal with people he likes/appreciates.
Naruto, for example, is his best friend. Naruto, obviously, has to put up with a lot of Uchiha hissy-fits.
And where is all this insecure, wishy-washy crap coming from? You have to FIGHT for him, Sakura! DO NOT GIVE UP!
After all, O.M.S.J. has only just begun!
I am curious about this Sasuke-in-drama thing. Have you ever seen him perform? Are you sure you aren't lying?
What period class does he have drama, anyway?
...Never mind, his schedule is online. Same time you have Home Ec. apparently--AKA the-useless-class-of-shit.
Work was slightly better today. Have become sort of-friends with this red-headed kid and his older brother. Will talk about them more when I know them better.
Love,
—Ino
P.S. And I WOULD work somewhere else, but I need the money, I feel bad about crashing at PH's. I'm going to rent one of his rooms. (HAH, genius I am.)
P.P.S. And I am NOT going to set you up--what are you talking about? You are the one who's been nipping at the scotch lately, not me. As if I would set you up with anyone.
To: EveryxDogxHasxItsxDayx
From: Angel4awhile
Subject: Want a hot girlfriend?
You know you do. And you owe me a favor anyway.
Anyway, you remember Sakura right? Would you mind terribly if you dated her for a while? Keep it light and casual, it's just a friends-with-benefits relationship basically. But be nice to her, give her presents and crap, and for GOD'S SAKE, do NOT even go NEAR her skirt.
Thanks, love you!
--Ino
To: Uchiha723
From: Angel4awhile
Subject: Math
I hear you've been harassing my friend. Sakura might be too naïve to overlook this flirting as aggression, BUT I'M ON TO YOU, SASUKE!
Anyway.
About the math project, I realize that the two of you, (we'll just ignore Naruto because...well...) are not exactly the math geniuses of the class. However, you DO need a good grade this quarter if you want to get that Princeton Scholarship.
Yes, I used to stalk you. We're moving past that.
Anyway, I can't exactly do my work, seeing as I'm not there. I'll try to answer questions and stuff, but don't expect much.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I'LL BE SURE TO BRING MY TEXTBOOKS THE NEXT TIME I DROP OUT.
Much love, and try to suppress that raging sex-drive of yours,
—Ino
To: xxIris'xxOfxxAmberxx
From: Angel4awhile
Subject: Hello
Hey, it's Ino Yamanaka. About my attendance, I have a reason for having left school. I took the exit exam before I left, of course, though I hadn't been planning on leaving at the time. I apologize if my abrupt departure has caused any inconvenience to you or any of the staff. If you see my father, please tell him I'm fine. I tried to call him yesterday, but the phone must have been unhooked, and he doesn't know how to work a stop watch, much less a computer or e-mail.
The reason for my leaving can be seen by looking over the attached medical report. I might come back for the next grade, if I've figured things out by then.
Now then, on to business.
First off, I want you to switch one of my friends and your student, Haruno Sakura, out of her Home Ec. class and into Drama II. Sakura has about a million siblings; I think she knows how to get a stain out of some clothing by now. Also, by putting her in drama, I think that her self confidence and ability to perform under moderate pressure would increase.
Sakura, as you know, is probably one of the most brilliant students attending the public school system right now. She does have some issues she needs to work on, but it's well known to both you and I that she would make an amazing doctor. I would really appreciate it if you would keep an eye on her, and make sure that her family doesn't guilt her into becoming some sort of trapped old maid who is forced to work her younger siblings through college.
Also, I still have those tapes from one of your earlier experiences with alcohol. Should I find that Sakura has not transferred classes, I could make said tapes public knowledge.
With the school's board of directors.
I hope you have a lovely school year.
Sincerely,
—Ino Yamanaka.
To: Angel4awhile
From: GreenEyed07
Subject: Haha, fat chance Pig
...YOU FED IT TO HIS CAT?!
Y'know, for someone who adores Mr. Butters so much, you don't seem to mind giving him perhaps-poisoned food.
I do believe I like this cat already, if he obviously dislikes Temari. I believe it's you, only it cat form, Ino. He also sounds very adorable. You're not gonna try and take THAT one home too, are you? I think your dad's a little tired of cats.
No, he was just his usual cold self. AND FOR THE LAST EFFING TIME, INO, UCHIHA. SASUKE. DOES. NOT. LIKE. ME!
(Nor does he want to shag my brains out. Nice thought, but no).
...you make a very valid point. In fact, you sound...smart. Kami-sama, P-- Shikamaru must be rubbing off on you! Somebody better alert the presses! But I'm tired of fighting for someone who won't fight for me. I'll do this whole date thing, because I am going to attempt to get over him, since, well, he DOESN'T like me. Well, much, anyway. Like, in that sense. He only likes me when I give him answers.
I, well, uhm, might've cut a few Home Ec. classes to watch him perform. Just a couple of times, though. Not that, y'know, I actually need to attend H.E. classes, since I've known how to sew since...6th grade, was it? Oh well, whatever. He really is rather magnificent when he's performing...
Red head, huh? And his older brother?
Are they hot? Wait, how long have you been there, anyway? A week? ...wow, it's been a long time since you last got laid, hasn't it? Jeez, miracles CAN happen!
-Sakura
P.S- I still say Dunkin Donuts. The people there are cool. Better than flipping burgers and making minimum wage. Besides, I know you like the smell of coffee more than you enjoy the smell of grease.
P.P.S- ...you're trying to set me up with someone, aren't you?
To: Angel4awhile
From: EveryxDogxHasxItsxDayx
Subject: Do I LOOK gay to you?
Haruno Sakura? Pink hair and green eyes? Yeah, I remember her; she was hot. Very nice girl, too.
...uhm, sure. So wait, you want me to ask her out? But what about Uzumaki? That's like, her older brother. He might kill me. Not to mention the Uchiha. I think he's already staked her out as his own...
Oh well, she sounds single. Sure, I'll ask her out tomorrow. Besides, Sakura is your complete opposite; the only girls skirt I ever got into that I know well is YOURS, Ino.
Yes yes yes, love you too.
-Kiba
To: GreenEyed07
From: Angel4awhile
Subject: ONE DAY, SAKURA. ONE DAY!
That cat and I are soul mates. Except, you know, one of my eyes isn't all weird and disgusting. But seriously, we have bonded, for I rubbed his ears for about an hour, fed him some tuna, and saved him from Temari's thrown magazine of impending doom.
Please, as if some poison could kill a cat. Obviously, I was relying on its superior senses of smell to save me! Plus the fact it has nine lives.
...Leave me alone, I have a lot of faith in this animal, okay? You would like him too, I'll send some pictures when I can.
(I KNEW IT, I KNEW 'INNOCENT LITTLE SAKURA' WANTED SOME SHAGGING ACTION!)
(PH is defending you, BTW. I explained the situation to him.) (Don't worry, I didn't say that it was YOU, or HIM) But anyway, he's saying that the Ice Prick, (my new name for him) obviously has the hots for you. But I am supposed to leave you alone.
Whatever, PH. I mean Shikamaru. Just drink the coffee I made for you. (Yes, I know. I made coffee. This is quite the achievement, since I can barely boil water without something exploding. Thank you for all your little lessons, it's the only reason Micky D's hasn't fired me yet.)
Well, so long as you don't give up on Sasuke, (because you are not ALLOWED to give up, dammit! WE DO NOT GIVE UP!) I think it's good for you to date. Very good. Clear your head a little.
And, you know, successfully goes through with the first phase of O.M.S.J.!
...Do you know how miserable I feel when I hear that you are cutting class to watch him perform? Do you KNOW how tragically beautiful that sounds? Like seriously, I am kind of sniffing. Oh, lovely, Shikamaru is getting me some Kleenex. So thoughtful!
He just told me to not get snot all over his kitchen table. I take back all the nice things I have said about him thus far.
The red-head and his brother are...amusing. Gaara and Kankuro are their names, respectively. We are planning to overthrow our McDonalds, and have nicknamed our manager, 'The Burger King.'
Because, there is no greater treason than a McDonalds employee buying food from Burger King. I hear that the staff at the M.D.'s work at has some sort of competition with the Burger King down the street every year.
...How...weird. And strangely hilarious.
Augh, I think I'll give the whole guys scene a bit of a rest for now. Shikamaru seems like he's going to take some time, anyway.
But I will win!
Yes, I have my scary game face on. The one that makes Hinata stutter and Tenten obsessively sharpen her pencils until they're like, razor sharp. (I worry about that girl. Really, what on Earth is she doing?)
Love and cat licks,
--Ino
P.S. Well, I'll work on Dunkin' Doughnuts. And uh, you FRY doughnuts, Sakura. Hee-hee. The pink-head had a blond moment!
P.P.S. You are way too suspicious. Like you need any help getting set up with someone. Guys will be tripping over themselves for a chance to date you.
To: EveryxDogxHasxItsxDayx
From: Angel4awhile
Subject: I assure you, you are the very epitome of masculinity.
Thanks, Kiba! You're a doll, really. And yes, that's Sakura, (the pink hair makes it rather easy to find her--which is good considering she's so damn short.) so go for it.
Yes, ask her out, please. Preferably casually, after making some nice conversation for a day or two. She's a very sweet girl--just...ah, don't mention any flaws you might find. I'm working on her insecurity issues.
Naruto's got Hinata now, (whom you were having fun brothering) so it should be good. And Sasuke? ARE YOU SERIOUS?! HE 'MARKED HER OUT!?' OH MYGOD, DO TELL!
He won't stop you, since he's got such a flipping case of denial it's not even funny. And Naruto... well, you're buddies with him, right? Ask his permission to date her or something--he'll like that.
But seriously? I took your virginity?
I feel ridiculously pleased.
Once again, be nice to her. More of a friend thing, since it's probably going to break off if everything goes according to plan. You'll have fun, I promise.
And no lecturing me on being nosy. I know I am. And I am ALLOWED to scheme, it's for the mutual benefit of everyone assembled!
Ta!
--Ino
P.S. DO NOT, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES SHE ASK, ADMIT TO ME SETTING THIS UP!
P.P.S. I taped some pocky to the back wall of Akamaru's dog house for you before I left. Enjoy:.
To: Angel4awhile
From: GreenEyed07
Subject: Maybe when hell freezes over...
You bonded with PH's cat...
...yeah, that's just a little pathetic. Awww, pictures!
Tell PH that your stupidity is rubbing off on him, obviously. I mean, Sasuke DOES NOT like me. How many times must I explain this? And you know what, if YOU think he likes me so much, then name some moments where he actually acted nice(r) to me!
See? I'm good for something! Mmm, coffee... though hopefully you didn't poison PH's. Since I don't think Temari would ever poison her "shnookums".
Pig, you feel too much. But you have to see him perform. It's like he's a whole different person. And PH is back in my good graces. I can't believe you're sort-of crying over such a stupid issue.
The Burger King? Competitions? ...you sure do know how to pick 'em, Boar.
Well, at least if some pervert ever tries to make (another) move on Tenten, and Neji isn't around, she can stab them in the eyeballs with said razor-sharp pencils.
-Sakura
P,S- I KNEW THAT!
P.P.S- I'm suspicious because I know you, Ino
From: EveryxDogxHasxItsxDayx
To: Angel4awhile
Subject: Damn right I am!
I'm a doll? You know, for someone who was just assuring me that I am "the epitome of masculinity" you certainly aren't acting like it.
I prefer, "You're a handsome, dashing male, ravage me on the floor now," thanks.
Well, alright, that shouldn't be too hard. And what do you mean, insecurity issues? ...she's not gonna like, throw up after she eats, right? Or like, throw herself into my arms sobbing every five minutes, right?
Yeah, he marked her out. Well, you know what I mean. Like, (and this is from Tenten, because I only noticed like once, but apparently he's done it tons of times) sometimes whenever he looks at her, his eyes get, and I quote from Tenten, "really soft, like how a boyfriend in love looks at his girlfriend". And when Sakura was mad at him, he couldn't stop looking at her. He looked angry, too, and at first I thought it was at her, but then I realized that it wasn't. Don't ask me how, it was just this kind of facial expression he did. It was pretty subtle, but it looked like he was more angry at himself, for some unfathomable reason.
So I'm guessing that I'm just dating Sakura until the Uchiha can pull that textbook from his ass and realize he likes her?
Okay, cool. She's a nice girl and all, but I don't think we could date like, long-term. But you're confusing me, Ino. Let me get this straight: you want us to date, but have me treat her like a friend would? Alright, even better. I suppose I should kiss her in front of Sasuke then...? Since he's drowning in denial and stuff.
-Kiba
P.S- Uh, okay...
P.P.S- Sweet! Thanks, Ino.
To: GreenEyed07
From: Angel4awhile
Subject: Does it seem a bit chilly to you?
Whatever, Sakura. You're just jealous because I have a cat to bond with!
Okay, moments when Sasuke was nice to you...
Incident one: in seventh grade, when you got hit over the head with the baseball bat when you were playing umpire, you got knocked out, and won't remember this, (and for the fifteen millionth time, I AM NOT LYING!) he, (who was playing first baseman) totally tripped up the runner. ON PURPOSE, I TELL YOU!
Incident two: That one time when you made cake and ran into the building and got it all over your shirt? Yes, I seem to recall him asking if you were okay before launching into his watch-where-you're-going tirade.
Incident Three: The whole comforting you when I was supposedly dead.
SEE?! HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN CLAIM TO THOSE THINGS HAPPENING TO THEM!?
And my coffee was GOOD, thankyouverymuch.
...But hee-hee, we are never going to let that 'shnookums' thing go.
And honestly, why is it that I managed to pick the ONLY McDonalds with an evil dictator for a manager and screwed up fast-food contests?
Tenten might be onto something with the razor sharp pencils...
Love,
--Ino
P.S. Sure you did.
P.P.S. That hurts Sakura, really.
To: EveryxDogxHasxItsxDay
From: Angel4awhile
Subject: You handsome, dashing male, take me now.
Alright, I take back the doll comment. Although, what about G.I. Joe? He's a doll!
Sakura's insecurities are nothing so drastic. They're very subtle, just some self put-downs and a lack of confidence in some areas. Don't worry, I'm not giving you the emotional train wreak.
Well, the whole marking-her-out-thing is, while incredibly sexist, a good sign.
But still, if she has no idea what's going on, then he obviously didn't make enough of an effort.
Yes, you have the dating profile down. Casual, nice, joke-y. You know, it'll be easy for you. And yes, by all Gods, kiss her in front of Sasuke. Though wait for a week or two so she doesn't think that YOU think that's SHE'S easy.
La, have fun! (And go get her!)
--Ino
P.S. Thank God. At least SOME PEOPLE know how to shut up.
P.P.S. You're welcome. And Akamaru's bone is taped to your roof. The story of how I got up there shall remain one of the untold horrors of this world.
To: Angel4awhile
From: GreenEyed07
Subject: It's 80 degrees out, babe
My teddy bears can kick Mr. Butters's ass any day.
1) He probably didn't do it on purpose. They might've just tripped over their own big feet. And Naruto already told me that Sasuke was the ONLY person who didn't come over to see how badly I was hurt. Yeah, he REALLY cares, Ino.
2) You must be delusional. Sasuke NEVER asked me if I was okay, he just glared down at me coldly. Plus, he totally freaked out on me when I stood up and the cake ended up on HIS shirt.
3) It probably was just because he didn't want me ruining another one of his shirts.
Oh, definitely not. I mean, c'mon. SHNOOKUMS?! I'm surprised PH doesn't like, kill her. I'll never be able to stop laughing. Is Temari pretty?
I'm pretty sure most McDonalds are like that. You know Mr. Tsukinchi, the manager at the MD's by us? Yeah, he almost ran me over with his car a couple of days before when I was crossing the street, then gave me the finger.
Such a shame he lives a couple houses away from me. Hmm, I wonder who it was that messed up the NEW paint job on his brand new car...
-smiles innocently-
-Sakura
P.S- I DID!!
P.P.S- Good.
P.P.P.S- Hmm, now that I just remembered, somehow, I got transferred out of Home Ec. and into Drama II. Any idea how that one happened, Ino?
P.P.P.P.S- Another thing that I just remembered: remember Inuzuka Kiba? He wants to hang out with me later. Weird, huh? He actually looks pretty cute...
To: Angel4awhile
From: EveryxDogxHasxItsxDayx
Subject: Don't even tempt me
HE'S AN ACTION FIGURE!
Alright, well, she's a typical human. She's not going to ask me every five seconds if she looks fat in this dress, though, will she? I doubt it, since I started talking to her today. You didn't tell me so was so hot. Damned Uchiha, he gets all the good stuff.
Sakura? Haruno Sakura? Easy? Are we talking about the same person?
-Kiba
P.S- I don't think I wanna know how THAT happened...
Sakura,
Is it just me, or is the sensei's hair falling off?
No, seriously. Look closely at his right ear--I swear there's a rubber band looped around it. Our teacher, our fat, obnoxiously dull teacher, is also bald.
Why does this fact delight me so much?
--Kiba
P.S. This would be very awkward if said teacher caught me passing this and read it aloud. Well, shit.
Kiba,
...holy Kami-sama, you're right! This has just like, made my day; I hate this sensei.
It could be just because he's a jerk who needs to get his face slammed in? Although that might've already happened. He looks an awful lot like a pug, have you ever noticed that?
--Sakura
P.S- That would suck. But I'd have to laugh at you, sorry.
Sakura,
Glad to have been of service. I hate him too. Of course it's our luck to have gotten the really sucky history teacher.
The 'gifted and talented' system is obviously screwed up. You know, the only reason why we got stuck with el baldie is because we're the only kids who'll have a prayer of BSing our way through the standardized tests.
...Did he just say that the British WON the Revolutionary War?
You need to call him on that. Please. I want to see him fall. (Yes, this is sadistic and wrong. I do not care--he is blatantly stupid and wouldn't let me sleep through class.)
I'd point it out, but that would mean shattering my perfectly groomed reputation as a slacker. Everyone already knows you're smart--you're safe to go.
--Kiba
P.S. I'm bringing you down with me--your name's on the paper.
Kiba,
Stupid Murphy's Law.
I know how I got into G&T, but how did you do it, Mr. oh-so-wonderful-slacker?
You know, he looked rather like the cross between a pug AND a goldfish when I told him the truth. Mmm, listening to him stutter out an, "Well, yes Miss Haruno, you're correct, my mistake, terribly sorry," was like sweet music to my ears. Oh, shiny silver lining.
...you just don't like him because he won't let you sleep.
I, well, uhm, I'm pretty sure you're smart too. After all, you ARE in G&T.
-Sakura
P.S- You suck. Evil bastard.
Sakura,
You wound me. Honestly, is it really that hard to believe that I am secretly a genius underneath my slacking exterior? Obviously, you don't buy it.
You would be right, then.
I just have abnormally good luck. I fill in the little bubbles, AND BAM, I somehow end up in here.
Our teacher DOES have some rather fascinating expressions. I think we should tape him someday. And then send in the video to 'scariest home movies.' We'd win billions.
And that was gold. I love it when the authority figures are wrong.
You're right, I hate the bastard. The sad thing is, I actually used to LIKE history. Back in the day when we got to hear about all the mad-axe murderers. I mean, the battles.
You want to watch the history channel with me after school? Yes, I watch the history channel. Tell anyone and I will...um...
I'll get back to you on that threat.
But anyway. Yes. History channel?
--Kiba
P.S. Oh stop it, you're making me blush!
Kiba,
Of course I'm right! You called me smart, remember?
What?! Lucky. Well, I'm glad you did, since I now have someone to talk to.
We'd have some tough competition, but I'm sure that the minute they see The Pug Man, they'll be running for the hills at his ugliness. Hell, they'll pay us NOT to show such a terrible sight on television.
I'm guessing that that means you like horror movies as well?
Oh, your threat is so scary!
Not.
Of course I'll watch the History Channel with you. Just because this maddeningly boring teacher sucks doesn't mean that history isn't fun to learn.
I'm rather proud of my dorkiness, thanks.
-Sakura
P.S- If you're honestly blushing, you'll NEVER hear the end of it. NEVER.
Sakura,
Stop using my words against me. I have a short term memory, it's very cruel.
Thanks, I feel loved. And you'd have someone to talk to--you could talk to el baldie! After all, you can correct him almost every time he opens his mouth.
I guess the public isn't ready for the sight of our teacher. You're right, these things are best kept in high school to torture small children with.
Horror movies scare the crap out of me. I have to sit in the middle of a well lit room after watching them. Preferably with several other people. And my dog. And several easily accessible exits.
Sweet! I have a history channel buddy! They have a special on Friday; you want to make fun of our founding father's fake wigs with me?
And you should be proud of dorkiness. It's very endearing.
--Kiba
P.S. Of course not REALLY, I have a reputation to protect, after all!
Kiba,
I can't help it if sometimes my genius-ness is too much for you to handle.
And as appetizing as that thought sounds, I do believe I'll have to skip out on that. Fourty minutes is more than enough for me; anymore and I think I'd have to rip out my eardrums from hearing him drone on continually.
That would be funny, except that WE'RE the small children. Woe is us!
Haha, you WIMP. I love horror movies with a fierce passion. I find it hilariously funny, since almost all horror movies are the same. Yes, I'm a masochist, I know, but C'MON. The people in those movies are so stupid it's laughable.
Of course! My favorite is the one on World War II. Hitler could possibly be uglier than The Pug Man. What do you think?
Endearing, huh? Do you mean that you find my inner nerd endearing?
-Sakura
P.S- Oh, you're such a male! Stupid men and their pride.
Sakura,
...I think you just called me stupid. So, HEY!
I think I might have to call him out one of these days. I mean, just to totally freak everyone out. Because there will be absolutely NO respect left for him if it is found out that KIBA is smarter than he is.
I cackle with joy.
...Can you turn on the air conditioning? The dial's only a little ways away from where you sit, and I really want to see his wig fly off. Please? He's RIGHT NEXT to that ventilation duct.
No way man, I'm a big boy now!
Well, I guess I'll just have to watch a horror movie with you one day. So I can prove to myself that a five-foot-tall girl is not braver then me. (Which is probably true, but I like lying to myself. Also, I need to cling to someone if the hairy monsters come out of the ceiling like they do in The Grudge.)
He is one ugly evil dictator. I had a gold fish named Hitler. He was named because of the black speck above his upper lip. He died when my Jewish grandmother came to visit. She didn't know about the fish's name, and was very offended when I ran into the room, crying that Hitler was dead. (I was very young, alright? I don't...blubber...like that anymore!)
Sure, your inner nerd is very cute.
--Kiba
P.S. FINALLY, SOMEONE ACKNOWEDGING THAT I'M A GUY!
P.P.S- Okay, one question: Is GI Joe an action figure or a doll?
Kiba,
Nope, I wasn't calling you stupid; well, not really.
It'd be a very sad day in Teacher land if YOU showed up one of the teachers. Since they all think you're this lazy kid with more brawn than brains.
Okay, I did it. Better? It WAS a little hot in here.
Mhmm, right. Okay, I look forward to watching that movie with you. Have you ever seen The Messengers? I'll watch that with you; there are these bodies that jerk as they crawl along the ceiling. And yes, you WILL watch it.
...I didn't know you were Jewish. Woah, you named your GOLDFISH Hitler?! I hope you didn't have any other fishes... And of course you don't. You've got too much pride, stupid men.
Aw, that makes me want to give you a hug.
-Sakura
P.S- Well, you certainly don't look like a female. Unless you've got a pair of...female assets and you're just hiding them on me.
P.P.S- Technically, he's kind of both. Since action figures are just the more manly word for doll, but we'll go with the former for this one.
Sakura,
Stop passing notes with Kiba. Everyone in the general vicinity, (except the teacher, of course) has noticed and are now muttering that the two of you are either a) dating or b) conspiring to take over the world. It's kind of distracting.
...And the teacher's hair just blew off.
----Sasuke
Sasuke,
Uhm, we're not dating (at least, I don't think so) and B...
Well, maybe. That one has some DEFINATE possibilities.
...wow. Kiba DID actually do the dare then. Huh, guess he's taking me out Sunday then.
--Sakura
Sakura,
I thought you said that the two of you weren't dating. How is it, that he's taking you out on Sunday then? Your logic is hard for us sane people to follow.
--Sasuke
P.S. What do you mean dare? Did you dare Kiba to yank his hair off like that?
Sasuke,
We're not dating... I think. He's just taking me out Sunday, like out for...I dunno, movies and dinner I guess. He wouldn't tell me, just said that it was a surprise.
I'm not insane! Kiba said I was brilliant. Oh, wait...Hitler was smart and crazy. Damn.
-Sakura
P.S- Nope. I dared him to do something crazy to the teacher (it's in the notes Kiba and I passed to each other, and no, you can't see those) and he said that if he did, he could take me out Sunday. If he didn't, he would be my slave for the week, and I could do ANYTHING I wanted to him. ANYTHING.
Sakura,
You do know that 'surprises' often lead to 'date rape,' right? And here I was, thinking that you were smart.
And why should you care if Kiba thinks you're smart? Yes, bravo Kiba, your wondrous powers of deduction never cease to amaze me. Sakura is a genius you say? Fancy that--never would have guessed. She only has the highest GPA in the school.
What the hell does Hitler have to do with anything?
--Sasuke
P.S. Again, date rape. He would probably wait around until you were helping out at a garage sale and say something like, 'can you help me carry my junk?' and then purposefully misunderstand.
You shouldn't trust that guy. He acts like a dog.
Sasuke,
I think he meant surprise as in, y'know, taking me to my favorite place and stuff. Or wait, the Konoha Carnival is in town, right? And Kiba knows how much I love those rides. Perhaps he's taking me there. You think I'm smart? Because, I can recall you always calling me stupid. You MAKE me feel stupid too.
I care because it's NICE. You know, it's a nice thing; a kind of warm, fuzzy feeling to...never mind. You don't care how I feel, do you?
If you read closely, you would've understood about that whole Hitler thing.
--Sakura
P.S. You know, if you had more hormones (and perhaps liked females) I would have pegged you for that whole date-rape thing. Although girls practically beg you to rape them ANYWAY, so I suppose you wouldn't need any drugs. You'd just have to give them that smoldering look and they'd be all over you.
Sakura,
Well, if you really trust him so much, then I guess it's okay. Just make
sure he doesn't blind fold you on the way to said 'surprise.' And try to stay
in an area where there are a lot of people.
I don't think you're smart, I know you are. What YOU are is naïve. And overly trusting.
Not everyone is as nice as they appear Sakura, keep that in mind. ALWAYS
keep that in mind.
---Sasuke
P.S. What the hell? 'Smoldering look?'
Sasuke,
You're questioning my intelligence?! I'll be able to fend for myself if all of Kiba's blood somehow travels to his groin, thanks.
And I am NOT overly trusting, damn you! You're just mad because now that I am kindasortamaybe involved with Kiba, so you no longer have someone to entertain yourself by glaring at them, since I'll be too focused on Kiba to allow those glares to affect me.
That could also apply to you, Sasuke.
AND UCHIHA SASUKE STOP GLARING AT KIBA LIKE YOU WANT TO REMOVE HIS MANHOOD! The next time I see you give him such a murderous look, I'll... I won't give you the answers to the Geometry homework! Honestly, I think you're hanging out with Naruto too much; you're being awfully overprotective.
Look at Kiba like that again (and don't think I didn't hear that muttered whisper of, "Leave her the fuck alone, Inuzuka.") and there WILL be hell to pay.
-Sakura
P.S- You have these dark, obsidian eyes. Every time you look at a girl, they feel like they're drowning, but in a good way. Well, unless you're glaring at them. But whatever, it still affects us.
Sakura,
HOW exactly would you 'fend him off?' You have some mace right? Because if you don't, then you are even more naïve then I thought.
'Glaring partner?' I do not glare at you. I do not even interact with you. We are very separate from each other. I have no idea where you're getting these ideas.
'Too focused on Kiba to pay attention to me?' So, you're going to turn into one of those evil, possessed girls who is only concerned about her boyfriend and nothing else? That's really, REALLY annoying.
And I do not hang out with Naruto too much. We are merely conveniently associates who happen to spend time together occasionally. I am not being overprotective, I have nothing to protect. It's not like we're friends or anything.
I didn't whisper anything to Kiba. Your obviously infatuated mind is melting and causing a malfunction in your ears.
Your threat would be much more terrifying if YOU actually KNEW the answers to the geometry homework. We're partners, we have to build that goddamn castle together. (And find the volume, surface area, etc.)
Don't let the dog affect your work, by the way.
--Sasuke
P.S. You do know how odd that sounds, right? You aren't talking to one of the evil fan girls for that sort of frightening material, are you?
P.P.S. I was not glaring.
Sasuke,
Uhm, DUH. Plus, I fight rather well.
YOU'RE GLARING AT ME RIGHT NOW, YOU BASTARD! And don't even deny it, you save those Goddamn-She's-So-Annoying glares just for me.
Oh, ew. HELL NO! I hate those kinds of girls too. All I'm saying is that we won't get to argue via notes anymore. Not that you'd care, since we're not friends. So since we're not, I see no reason to talk to you, if you're going to be such a dick.
-Sakura
P.S- Yeah, riiight. You could probably make a lesbian go straight with those eyes.
P.P.S- You totally were.
To: EveryxDogxHasxItsxDayx
From: Angel4awhile
Subject: How goes it?
Hey darling! I mean, 'hello-my-macho-man.'
I haven't heard from you since yesterday. I hope that you and Sakura are getting along, I thought you would. You both like making fun of stuff and watching nerdy shows--I mean the history channel.
This, by the way, is highly addictive. I took your advice and watched it the other day. Was unable to move for three hours, (which is how long the show was.)
Anyways, have you gotten her to agree to go out on a date with you? Do something fun, preferably where there are a lot of people and in a bright area. I have this odd feeling that Sasuke's going to subtly make her paranoid.
How's he reacting, by the way? Jealous I hope?
Really, really hope. Sakura's in his drama class now, so HOPEFULLY they'll start to hit it off. Or maybe a spotlight will fall on his head and he'll die. Either way, our problems are solved.
Let me know how it's going!
--Ino
P.S. And of course she's pretty! She hung out with ME for ten years, what do you expect? ;)
P.P.S. Sakura has a phobia about being seen as easy. She reacts rather violently to what she deems 'inappropriate touching.'
To: Angel4awhile
From: EveryxDogxHasxItsxDayx
Subject: Sasuke knows
The Uchiha knows about Sakura and I.
I am so fucking screwed.
A/N- Chapter three is le up . This chapter is well over 7,000 words. Obviously Ren and I need to find something else better to do other than sit and type e-mails/notes one after another for hours at a time. Anyway, Missa hasn't been doing so hot this week, blargh. It's almost three am, I'm exhausted, hungry, have just gotten asked out by my best friends ex-boyfriend, and to add it all up, I'm also sick. Gee, thanks dad. Whoever said the quote, "Sharing is caring," must've been high on something. Well, at least I'm going to Bamboozle Sunday!
Oh, and to SakuraDouble: Well, we got it up within the week! Plus, it's REALLY long. So Ren wants to know if this allows us to score two one-shots.
Hope you all enjoyed the chapter, and remember, comments are love.
