AN: Thanks for reading, everybody!
Chapter 2
"You could have sprung for first class, Cullen," James Taylor complained. "Aren't you Cullen's like Midas and turn shit into gold?"
I wish Kid could turn James Taylor to gold. It would be the only way to get that loud mouth to shut the hell up.
"I wonder what would happen if I cram this magazine in his mouth? Do you think I'll get kicked off the plane?" I started to roll up a US Weekly. I had no issues with stuffing the Miley Cyrus cover in his flapping lips.
"It's so cramped!" James Taylor kept whining, as Boobs rubbed his neck. "This is hell!"
Kid groaned. "I'm tempted to let you use my sweatshirt to gag him."
"Why did we invite him again?" I eyed James Taylor, as he started badgering the poor Flight Attendant for another limp pillow.
"Angela."
Right. Boobs wanted to be a bridesmaid. I didn't care. I just wanted all-night buffet.
We left the parents at home. They got their fancy unofficial wedding, but now we were getting our official Elvis officiated ceremony. I was pretty certain that after my knocked up status and Alice's state of Cheech instigated undress, the adults were glad to be rid of us.
We had our assorted gang of misfits on this flying machine. Tanya and Heidi were cuddled under a blanket doing debauchery of some sort. Katie and Teeth were sharing an iPod looking sickeningly lovable. My Yale buddies Chelsea and Diego were squabbling over a package of peanuts. Dictator was already asleep on Cheech. Pete glared at them from his seat.
That brought us to Giant and Trailer. He was whispering loudly about the plane being taken apart by Gremlins and looking a minute away from a full on panic attack. Trailer was nursing her huge gargoyle baby under a scratchy plane blanket. I was pleased to observe that the baby was, however, slowly moving away from blob to a somewhat child like creature.
An older man, all frizzy gray poof ball hair and ugly plaid shirt, sat across the aisle from my friends and complained, "That's disgusting! Feed your child with a bottle like a responsible adult. That baby is going to be a pervert!"
Oh no, he didn't.
I normally would let Giant defend his woman and their child's honors, but he was too busy staring out the window in a paranoid fashion muttering about out impending doom by creatures on the wings of the plane. He need to stop watching old Twilight Zones on late night television.
I stood and walked over to the man. I only needed one word. "Stop."
"Young lady, you need to get back—" His face was really hideous and blotchy. It seemed to mirror his insides.
Maybe two words were necessary.
"Now."
"Listen—" He tried again to dismiss me.
"No."
He was making me waste energy I was planning on using to sleep on my kid.
"It's okay, Bella," Trailer reassured me. "She's almost finished. Sir, I'm in my right to feed my child on the plane. We are fully covered, so you really have no need to comment."
Good girl, Trailer.
"That sucking noise is distracting me from my sudoku!" He waved a book and pencil in the air.
Nerd.
"Stop." I repeated and waved our haggard flight attendant over. Her dark hair falling out of her bun. She stared at me with tired eyes. "This man is harassing my friend and her child."
The attendant turned to him and snapped, "Stop!"
The man blustered, "I paid good money to take this flight and I shouldn't be subjected to watching this woman's breasts be used as food."
Umm. I pointed out, "That's their purpose, asshole."
It just came out and the flight attendant gave me a smile. She turned to Trailer with a smile. "We have some empty seats in first class, Miss. Would you and the baby like to move up there?"
"Is there room for Bella? She's pregnant and doesn't need the stress." Trailer gave me a big smile. I was quite fond of her. She grew on me like algae.
"That would be cool. Is there food? Alien is hungry."
The man roared, "What about me?"
"Shut up or I get you banned from the airlines." She smiled a sickly, sweet smile at him.
I liked her and I don't easily like anybody. She should get a raise.
James Taylor made a face that was uglier than his normal one. "What about me?"
I looked at flight attendant and together we said, "Shut up."
My kid took my hand. "Bella, I thought we could visit a certain quiet and private area in the plane."
He was obsessed doing the mile high club.
"You mean where you threw up about ten minutes ago? I really don't find that very romantic." I looked at the flight attendant. "Do you have pickles up there?"
Kid turned a nasty shade of white and ran towards the bathroom with his hands plastered to his mouth.
How sweet of him to have the morning sickness for me now.
"Oh my God! Are the wings falling off?" Giant let out a feminine shriek.
This was a trip for the memory books.
