Disclaimer: It's 9 am where I am. Cut me some slack, I don't own Naruto. I DO, however, own this chocolate chip muffin I'm about to eat. Mmm...
Action 5: The Burger King
Sakura,
Don't freak out or anything, but I think we're going to have to cancel for today. I'm sorry, but my house was sort of destroyed last night, and I don't think you want to go in there right now.
I'm really sorry, could I take you to a movie on Saturday or something? (Don't tell Sasuke, he'll start ranting about date rape again. I got a lot of weird looks for that.)
—Kiba
Kiba,
Oh my God, are you serious?! What happened? Do you have any place to stay? You can always stay at my house; I'm sure my parents wouldn't notice.
Sure, a movie sounds lovely. And Sasuke and I currently aren't talking, so you have no worries of me telling him. And he's just being... well, I'm not sure what he's being, but it's retarded. I mean, honestly, he's acting like a child over this. Seriously, I can date whomever I want. Oh, and did you do the history homework? What'd you get for answer five?
—Sakura
Sakura,
Well, not destroyed as in a bomb hit it--more like destroyed as in my sister was PMSing. Okay, not really. We don't exactly know what happened--just woke up this morning, went down stairs, and found the place wrecked.
Sasuke is always retarded. (Do not tell him I said that, or I will die. Please and thank you.) And um, I'm asleep during that class. What was the question?
-Kiba
Kiba,
NEVER mess with a PMSing girl. I'm basically normal when I get mine, but I crave more chocolate. Ino, on the other hand, is a totally different story. Pray for PH's poor soul.
Again, I'm not speaking to that asshole. And it was:
'Hitler translated his hatred of Jews, Gypsies, Slavs and others into a systematic program of genocide. How do ethnic, racial, and religious hatreds weaken society?'
-Sakura
Sakura,
Sasuke, who sits behind me as I'm sure you can see, has started threatening me with bodily harm for 'distracting you from your studies.' He kicks the back of my chair every time I pass a note to you.
Could you tell him to heel?
PH? What's a PH? Oh—that guy she's staying with? Hey—is he cool? You sure she's not living with some sort of pimp/serial killer/rapist?
And I realize that you aren't speaking with The Jerk, but I have no idea what the answer to the Hitler question is. Ask him.
—Kiba
Kiba,
I'm going to kill that bastard. DISTRACTING ME FROM MY STUDIES?! I do believe I'm allowed to have a reprieve, once in a while, since I study so bloody hard.
Sasuke's not my dog. Very nice thought, but no. Don't worry, I'll make him back off. Somehow.
Oh yes, Shikamaru is a very nice person. He helped me with my Geometry homework, and he's about as much as a serial killer as you are date rapist. He might be a pimp, though. Since Ino actually likes him. Yes, the seas are turning to blood, apparently.
I'm going in!
(Cue Mission: Impossible theme song)
-Sakura
Sasuke,
Kick Kiba's chair one more time and I am going to de-ball you. Not even joking. He is NOT keeping me from my studies, and since when have you EVER cared what I've done? Or rather, WHO I've done?
Well, now that I've gotten that off my chest, do you know how to do that History essay? The one on Hitler?
-Sakura
Sakura,
I don't care. But when you die from AIDS or start popping out babies and drop out of high school, then I hope you realize that I'm right. And you're too young to start dating anyways. Wait until you're thirty.
And for that paper, I talked about how the economy would be weakened, a deep sense of communal mistrust would develop, and so on and so forth.
Sasuke,
No glove no love. Duh. And what are you, my father? I believe I am perfectly eligible to date, okay dad?
I would thank you, but you wouldn't appreciate it, so I'm not even going to bother.
-Sakura
Sakura,
Last time I checked, you already had a father. Though really, I'm totally torn up inside for having to decline the position. And as for you being able to date--do your parents even know? You should introduce The Dog to your family. Hopefully they'll prove to be more sensible then you and will throw him back into the kennel.
Seriously, he's not good for you. I had hoped you would have figured that out by now.
...How do you know I wouldn't appreciate it?
--Sasuke
Sasuke,
I'm sure you are. And trust me when I say that if I came home nine months pregnant my parents wouldn't even notice.
And how is Kiba not good enough for me? He's polite, funny, hasn't even TRIED to make an inappropriate move on me thus far, and is very nice. And if you don't think he's good enough for me, then who would be?
Because you're always mean to me. And you don't appreciate anything. Or, at least, not verbally. I doubt I'm wrong in this, but you don't think of us as friends, so maybe I'm totally wrong about you. Again, I doubt this, but you could be a fantastic liar.
--Sakura
Sakura,
I find that hard to believe that they wouldn't notice, it'd be pretty hard to miss.
And Kiba isn't going anywhere. Even you can do better.
Polite--Hardly. He sleeps during class and still throws snowballs.
Funny--His sense of humor is limited to the most caveman level potty humor.
Hasn't tried to make any inappropriate moves--Except when he semi-raped you the other day against the locker. You should file for sexual assault, by the way.
And how would I know who's right for you? Figure it out yourself, or run off and cry to your friend until she does it for you.
Or maybe if you opened your eyes, you'd notice them.
And I am not always mean to you. You just happen to cause small disasters where ever you go. Or just act annoying in some shape or form.
--Sasuke
P.S. I appreciate things.
Sasuke,
With my parents? It's entirely possible.
Dear Kami in heaven, Sasuke-kun-- oh, wait, sorry, I promised I wouldn't call you that. But anyway, we're just DATING, for Gods sakes. It's not like we're exchanging vows.
1- He's polite to me. And he's good with my friends and totally understands the Girl Rules.
2- It is not. He can be funny without being crude.
3- I was a willing participant to that. Besides, it's not unusual that a boyfriend should want to kiss his girlfriend, honestly Sasuke.
Actually, I'm pretty sure that Ino had something to do with Kiba, but I have no proof because she vehemently denies this. And don't you DARE say something about Ino's choice in men, because I will NEVER speak to you again if you so much as utter a word about it.
Touché, Sasuke.
EVERYTHING is annoying to you! I mean, I was nice to you, and I got glared at and told to get the fuck away from you. You'd be surprised at how much your words can hurt someone, Sasuke.
--Sakura
P.S- Oh yeah? Like what, your precious tomatoes?
Sakura,
Look, is something screwy going with your family? Because you sound weird (er).
Whatever Sakura, it's just a stupid name. And dating leads to marriage, which is another reason why you shouldn't date him—you aren't ready for that.
Fine Sakura, fine. Since you obviously think that he is just so great, I won't waste my time. Go do whatever with him. Jump off a cliff to signify your undying love or whatever crap he's got you believe. I hope you're happy.
--Sasuke
P.S. I don't have a problem with Ino and the guys she dates—why would I care, anyway?
P.P.S. I was just having a bad day when I told you to get lost.
P.P.P.S. I appreciate more then you think, Sakura.
Sasuke,
What family is normal?
Not every date leads to marriage. I've dated other guys previously and you don't see US at the alter.
You want to know something, Sasuke-kun? Listen up, and listen up good, buddy boy. What you say to me? That HURTS. Kiba is a great guy, but I don't love him. It's not possible when my heart belongs to someone else. I'll let you figure out whom, though you won't act on it if you DO understand.
And another thing: I'm not happy, Sasuke. Go appreciate that, since you're in such a foul fucking mood.
--Sakura
P.S- You always tell me to get lost.
P.P.S- Then why can't you show it?
Sakura,
I get that, at least. Though most of my family is dead.
You don't love Kiba? Seriously?
--Sasuke
P.S. I tell most people to get lost. What I say and what I mean tend to get mixed up sometimes.
P.P.S. I do, you should pay more attention.
Sasuke (kun),
I know you hate sympathy, but I really am sorry about your family. But...at least you have your friends, and we'll always care about you, even IF most times you can act like a jerk.
Speaking of which, I'm sorry I flipped out on you. It's been a long week.
No, I don't love Kiba, and he knows this. We're dating, but it's more of a friends-with-benefits thing. Our relationship is hardly serious.
--Sakura
P.S- So basically every time you were telling me to get lost it meant the complete opposite? I'll...have to remember that?
P.P.S- I've been trying to not get my hopes up. And what do you appreciate anyway?
Sakura,
Whatever, it's all in the past now. I just have to take care of a few things and it'll be over once and for all.
We only have three more finals this week, right? And our math project, (which is only half done) is due Monday?
So, you don't love Kiba. It's not going to last for very long, is it?
--Sasuke
P.S. No, I didn't mean that. I was speaking more in general.
P.P.S. What do you mean by 'trying not to get your hopes up?'
Sasuke-kun,
Yeah, I've decided to add on that honorific again, simply because I'm just used to adding it and I will admit it's a little fun to annoy you.
You enjoy being annoyed by me, don't deny it!
Urgh, don't remind me about those vile tests. You are correct about all of them, as usual.
How long our relationship lasts all depends.
--Sakura
P.S- Yeah, I thought as much.
P.P.S- Erm...yeah, I'm not going to explain that to you. Oof--bell rang. See you seventh period
To: Angel4awhile
From: GreenEyed07
Subject: Well the shit barely missed the fan
How goeth the flirting with PH and ass-kicking with Temari-whore?
So, big day today. I've kind of been a bitch to Sasuke, though I had good reason to, and when he flipped out at me over my relationship with Kiba I blew up at him and...
Well, I almost told him I loved him. Hell, it was right between the lines, but he didn't notice. I don't know whether to be thankful of this or cry.
But at any rate, what have you gotten with the dirt on Temari? Anything more, besides what few Gaara and Kankuro provided you with? Wait, since the two of them are there I highly doubt that you'll be going to Dunkin Donuts.
...damn, I was hoping for free coffee.
--Sakura
To: GreenEyed07
From: Angel4awhile
Subject: Score one for the shit!
You want to know about my day? Of course you do.
Because The Burger King and I are officially AT WAR.
And he can threaten me with a pay cut all he wants—I KNOW UNETHICAL WHEN I SEE IT! Because seriously, unethical stuff does not happen without my stamp of approval. I am the queen of all that is unethical.
I'll just describe The Burger King for you: late twenties-early thirties, droopy eyes, apparently engaged to some horror known as Marla—and his name is Tim. And he is a scum bag who I LOATHE WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING.
FIRST he criticized my clothes. THEN my make-up. THEN my hair. THEN my attitude.
AND THEN HE GOT ON GAARA'S AND KANKURO'S CASES ABOUT LOOKING FUNNY!
No. He shall never be forgiven. That guy is going down.
So, anyway, the three of us are plotting on how to freak him out. Any ideas?
AND OH MY GOD, YOU ALMOST TOLD HIM THAT YOU LOVED HIM? HOLY CRAP!
…
How did this happen? Did he get all angry and possessive again and then you said something to make him happy—or what?
And The Temari Unit and I have reached a truce. Or at least, she thinks we have. I am just allowing her to go along with this thought.
….
Deviously yours,
--Ino
To: Angel4awhile
From: GreenEyed07
Subject: More like score one for me
Wow. What an asshole. I mean, who cares about that? You HAVE been dressing more nicely, haven't you Ino?
Hmm...do you know what he's afraid of? Whatever it is, use it against him. If nothing can be found, I suggest hiring some gay guy to come in and hit on him, or buy this huge, hairy tarantula and drop it down his shirt or something.
I HIGHLY doubt that possessiveness. He just thinks Kiba is all wrong for me and told me to open my eyes and find the guy who is. Then, when I asked him who that was, he wouldn't say and then got all defensive about it. And...he told me that if I loved Kiba that much that I should go jump off a cliff to prove my undying love, or some other bullshit like that.
So I told him straight out that what he had said hurt me, since I didn't love Kiba because my heart belongs to someone else and that I wasn't going to apologize if he was going to be such an asshole. He didn't say sorry, but I like to think that he was.
Hahaha, oh Pig, what are you going to do to her? Do I even want to know? Cause it'll probably give me nightmares. Or the good kind of goose bumps. Whichever.
--Sakura
To: GreenEyed07
From: Angel4awhile
Subject: The plan is in action!
Yes, I have been dressing more nicely. I am copying you on your biker shots fad and wearing them under my skirt. I feel so…covered.
AND YESTERDAY I WORE A SWEATSHIRT! (Try to contain yourself. It isn't often that I lower myself to wear what you mortals pretend to be 'clothing.')
But the fear thing is just the problem! He's freaking impossible! I swear, I've tried everything—I shut him in a closet, (claustrophobia, and darkness) set his tie on fire, (he freaked out at that, but Gaara says that this is a relatively normal thing. Bugger.)
I even paid Kankuro twenty bucks to slap his butt! Unfortunately, he somehow found out that I was responsible, and I have been confined to the deep-fryer for the rest of the week. CURSES.)
But I'm not worried. I will find his weakness eventually—and then exploit it mercilessly, since that's what I do best, after all.
Alright, since I'm frankly disgusted with Sasuke's blindness, so you're on your own from this point on, girlfriend. Honestly, I might be good at manipulation, but I need humans—not robots.
Good luck,
--Ino
P.S. I want him to apologize.
P.P.S. And call you a princess.
To: Angel4awhile
From: GreenEyed07
Subject: ...what plan?
And this dude is STILL calling you a whore?! Pshaw, obviously he has no idea that what you're wearing right now is MODEST. Stupid, stupid men.
What, is it cold in McDonalds or something? I thought you'd be hot since you've been banished to the Deep Fryers o' DOOM.
Hmmm... Pig, I think you may need to step your game up a little bit. Okay, let's think. What is EVERY man afraid of?
You suck for not helping me with Sasuke. Big time. Watch, I'm going to do something stupid and then when I do, I'm fully blaming you for it.
--Sakura
P.S- This is SASUKE we're talking about.
P.P.S- See above.
To: GreenEyed07
From: Angel4awhile
Subject: Oh, I forgot to mention said plan in last e-mail…
THE PLAN THAT WILL WREAK HAVOC ON NEWYORK AND MAKE PH MINE, OF COURSE!
…
I just have to think of one…
Alright, I thought long and hard about your 'what is every man afraid of?' riddle, and I THOUGHT I had a pretty good idea of what it was.
So, yesterday I pushed The Burger King out into speeding traffic.
He was nearly hit by a bus, almost had a heart attack, and staggered back onto the sidewalk a gibbering mass of hysterics. I think I have found his weakness!
…I am just ignoring PH who is being unsupportive (AGAIN) and telling me that I would be doing the same thing if he pushed ME out into traffic. Jerk. Although I have to be on my best behavior for the next few days since he sort of bailed me out of jail. (The Burger King took the traffic thing WAY too seriously.)
I think PH is kind of mad at me. Apparently, it cost a lot of money to get me out of there…Blech, now I feel bad! (He is refusing to talk to me right now. There is a curious achy feeling in my chest. I think the water at prison must have been bad.)
Woeful love,
--Ino
To: Angel4awhile
From: GreenEyed07
Subject: ...Oh God
Nice plan, pig.
...Ino, I was, uhm, talking about commitment being the thing they fear...
I cannot BELIEVE you pushed him into freaking traffic. I am so proud of you! But sorry, I think you're in the wrong, here. You probably would be said "gibbering mass of hysterics" if someone pushed YOU into oncoming traffic.
Wow, you... I can't believe you were in jail, Ino-pig. And I believe that achy feeling you have in your chest would be your heart breaking, because PH isn't talking to you and that hurts you. You just didn't know it, but you ought to be thankful that you have my genius-ness to guide your way.
--Sakura
To: GreenEyed07
From: Angel4awhile
Subject: Oh shut up, it's a work in progress
Okay, yes, so I was slightly illegal and reckless with the whole pushing into traffic thing. But still, he over-reacted.
And dude, prison was WEIRD. (Even if I was only in there for like, four hours. They made me wear an orange jumpsuit. It was the most hideous thing I have ever seen—I ripped off a little bit of the collar for the specific purpose of BURNING THE DAMN THING.
Though it was amusing when I got everyone to start singing 'Let My People Go!' (That Moses song, or whatever.)
And you are so wrong about that heart-breaking thing. I'm like the Grinch-who-stole-Christmas—three sizes too small, and all that.
But I am annoyed at the jerk. Shika hasn't talked to me for almost TWO DAYS now! Temari burned my toast on purpose, The Burger King is out for revenge, and my hair smells like grease, thanks to the stupid fryer.
…
I think I need a hug…
--Ino
P.S. How are things with you and Kiba?
P.P.S. I just attempted to hug Shikamaru, and was rejected for almost-the-first-time in my life. Weird achy feeling just got worse, so I took some aspirin. It isn't helping.
P.P.P.S. Am so desperate that I have just hugged Temari. She has been awarded brownie points for making me hot chocolate and not asking any questions.
P.P.P.P.S. But she's still going down.
To: Angel4awhile
From: GreenEyed07
Subject: But I didn't say anything!
What the hell?! They made you wear an orange jumpsuit?! But they only make you wear that if you've murdered someone! Oh, wait...
Ino, PLEASE. You're talking to ME, here. I am NEVER wrong. And see?! It just proves my point, because aspirin cannot cure heartbreak. I think you're in a case of D E N I A L.
But you do sound like you've had a rough week (granted that you brought most of it upon yourself...) so I'm giving you a virtual hug right now. My poor piggy.
--Sakura
P.S- Things are going really well. He's taken me out to dinner a couple of times, but we try not to show too much PDA. It gets Sasuke-kun really mad. I don't understand what his problem is. I mean, really. Kiba and I have been going out for three weeks now; Sasuke-kun should be used to it by now.
P.P.S- Wow. You really must be desperate!
P.P.P.S- But of course. After all, a cheetah doesn't change their spots.
A/N- Hey everyone, Missa here! Well, this is a short(er) chapter, which is good for us because Missa has those GOD-AWFUL FINALS! Yes, pray for my pitiful soul. Now, I just want to make one thing clear: I love you all. To me, getting one hundred and twenty one reviews by the fourth chapter is a HUGE accomplishment. So thank you all! You guys are freaking amazing. BUT ANYWAY, I know that this chapter is shorter than most by like, half, but Ren's had finals and, lucky her, is now out of school. But I have them coming up, and I have the two evil's back-to-back (Biology and Italian) so I really gotta study, especially if I want to pass for the year. So...yeah. That explains why this chapter is shorter than the rest. But despite the shortness, hoped you guys liked it, and don't forget to leave your opinions in a review!
