Leon walked into the institution the next day and glanced at his watch, He was a good three hours before Arnold but he wanted to get into work as soon as possible. He changed in the locker room and then moved into the cafeteria to get a quick breakfast. Irene was sitting at a table alone picking at her oatmeal, when he approached her table she shook her head.

"Don't you have a life? You're always here." She said.

"Do you want me to leave?" He asked.

"No. Sit, eat." She said motioning at the vacant chair beside her.

"I could ask you the same thing. You're here twice as much as I am." He pointed out.

"Yeah, but I don't have a choice." She said.

"Sure you do, you didn't have to try and kill yourself." He said.

She sat and looked at him for a minute before tossing down her spoon. She pushed her chair away from the table and stood looking down with him. She shook her head in disgust before walking away and he winced. Okay, so that was a stupid thing to say.

He turned back to his oatmeal suddenly losing his appetite. He glanced up and saw Claire talking to Jack. Jack was the top man on the totem pole at the institution, and Claire had been his right hand for the past ten years. Jack was slightly taller than Claire with black hair that was all slicked back neatly, and fine suits. Whatever they were talking about he listened with interest.

Claire made most of the decisions, gave assignments to the workers and was the boss of the other doctors. If you had a question about anything she was the one you wanted, Jack was simply the one who handled the big choices, and gave Claire orders. Leon never could figure out their exact relationship, anyone with eyes could tell Claire adored the man but he was oblivious to it.

He glanced at his watch, Arnold should be arriving for his shift soon. Claire had sent him home early yesterday after the girl he was trying to help had a breakdown. He felt sorry for her having fifteen years of her life stolen away. He cleaned up his plate and Irenes before going looking for her. He waved at Claire on his way by and she smiled back at him.


Arnold stepped into the building using his keycard he went straight into his office. He was anxious to have his first one on one session with Helga today. Yesterdays breakdown was also in some small way a break through. At this point any emotion was better than the nothing she had been feeling before. He pulled on his doctors coat and headed to see Claire.

He knocked on her door before using his keycard and letting himself in. She jumped and turned to face him. She had been looking out the window and he took in her appearance. Her black skit that showed off her legs, high heels and red silk top. Her blonde hair was loose and curly for once. She was older, but standing there she didn't look even close to her age.

"Are you alright?" He asked closing the door.

"Yeah, sorry I was lost in thought." She said making a dismissive gesture.

"Why are you all dressed up today?" He asked.

"Jack was here doing a review..."She said moving towards her desk.

"Oh, that explains the make-over." Arnold said sitting in a chair.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Claire said sitting in her own chair.

"Don't play stupid Claire, I'm trained to read people." Arnold said.

"Really? You really want to go there?" She asked cocking her head to one side.

"I have nothing to hide, I'm not in love with my boss. No offense." Arnold said.

"None taken, you're too young for me anyway." She said.

"How was Helga yesterday?"He asked.

"Quite, very quiet...not a single word." Claire said.

"Damn." Arnold sighed heavily.

"Give her time, is today your first session?" Claire asked.

"Yeah, you wnat to sit in?" He offered.

"Nah, I think she'll be more comfortable with you alone." She said.

"I guess so. I better get going then." He pushed out of his chair and moved to the door.

"I'm here if you need me." She offered.

"Thanks, and Claire?" He paused at the door.

"Yeah?" She looked up from a file.

"You have to tell Jack sometime...you only live one life." He said.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She said again and he shrugged.

"Okay then, forget it." He left closing the door softly behind him.


He walked down the hall passing a few patients and stopping to help them with whatever he could. He didn't see any sign of Leon anywhere, or Irene for that matter and he made a mental note to check on them. He opened the door to Helgas room and froze just for a minute to watch her.

She was sitting on the tiny ledge at her window. Her knees drawn up against her chest, her arms hugging them. The light blue pants were baggy and so was her gray t-shirt. Her newly cut hair was a curly mass of mess, and she was staring out the window.

"Helga?" He spoke softly.

"I want to go outside." She said softly her voice sounding broken and hollow.

"Not today." He said.

"You won't get away with this...you can't do this to me." She said shaking her head.

"I'm trying to help you." He said.

She shook her head again and mumbled something he couldn't hear. She let her head fall to rest against her knees, but still didn't face him. She stared out the window and he felt like the lowest form of a human being. He could see it in her pose, her brokeness covered every inch of her.

He stepped into the room and sat down on the edge of her bed. She finally turned her head to look at him and in her blue eyes he saw true desperation.

"Helga, I want to help you." He said again.

"I don't need your help." She said with a small shrug.

"What happened to you..."He trailed off.

"I don't need help, and I don't need you to tell me who I am. I know who I am, I know what happened." She said.

"Okay, tell me...what happened?" He asked.

"I was killed that day in that car." She said bluntly.

"Helga..."He was about to protest and she interrupted him.

"I died in that car. I may as well have I lost 15 years of my life, I won't get those years back and everyday I spend in here is more time wasted." She said.

He took a deep breath, he hadn't been prepared for her to make sense. He wasn't prepared to agree with her even slightly. It was obvious she did need some help, she needed to face the past and heal her wounds. He couldn't disagree that it felt like he was holding her hostage.

"You didn't die. You're here, you survived and I'm going to give you your life back." He promised.

"I didn't survive." She said softly.

"Helga..."He was going to try and comfort her when she turned her head to stare back out the window. He knew that was his cue to leave and she was done talking.

"You're not the only one who died that day. You weren't the only one." He said gently.

He stood and waited for her to reply, when she didn't he shook his head. He left her alone in her room. He closed the door but left it unlocked, a small part of him wished she would lash out in anger, break down in screams or even cry. The stone emptiness he saw wasn't something he could handle to see her go through.


He found Leon sitting in the main hall next to Irene on the sofa. She was reading and he ws staring at his shoes. Neither of them spoke but their body language screamed that they had a fight. Arnold motioned Leon to come over and he stood leaving her alone, Irene didn't even glance up.

"What happened?" Arnold asked.

"I slipped up. I said somethin' I shouldn't have." Leon admitted.

"Did you apologize?" Arnold asked.

"Have you ever apologized to a woman? I may as well shoot myself in the foot, she'd take that better." Leon said in a frustrated tone.

"I know it's hard, but she responds to you." Arnold pointed out.

"Yeah, I know." Leon said with a heavy sigh.

"Good luck." Arnold said clapping him on the back.

"Yeah..."Leon turned and headed back towards Irene. Arnold shook his head before heading off to his next appointment.

"Look Miss Irene, I'm awful sorry 'bout what I said to ya." Leon said when he sat down.

"I'm not some whiney teenager who kills herself because a boy didn't ask her to prom." She said without looking up.

"I know ma'am." He said his southern drawl was so bad now he was barely understanable.

"My husband, he was going to kill me when he came home. I couldn't go out like that, I lived my life as a victim I didn't want to die one." She said softly.

"Why did you marry him?" Leon asked and she shrugged.

"From the time you're a child they teach you about love stories, where the best turns into a prince. True love works true magic and it's happy ever after. Sometimes, the beast...just gets uglier and uglier...he doesn't turn into a prince, not even close and love can't save you." She said.

"You could have left." Leon said.

"I tried once, he broke my arm in three places." She said.

"You deserve better than that." He said softly.

"This is better, being here makes me feel better. I can breathe here and it's not all chaos. I have a bed." She said with a small laugh.

"You didn't have a bed?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"We had a bed, but Steven said he couldn't sleep with me next to him so I slept on the couch." She said with a shrug.

"That's the dumbest thing I ever heard." Leon said.

"What you would let me toss and turn beside you all night keeping you up?" She asked sarcastically.

"Honey, if you were my wife I wouldn't let you out of that bed anymore than I had to." He said.

She froze and he realized exactly what he had just said. He instantly blushed and she turned away from him. The moment suddenly so intimate that she felt naked sitting beside him. She felt frightened, up until now they had just been friends but his words made everything so much more. He didn't say anything and she felt like running. Finally, he spoke.

"I'm sorry Miss Irene, I shouldn't have said that with you bein' a married woman and all." He said his drawl back.

"It's okay." She said chewing her bottom lip until she tasted blood.

He watched her a minute or two before realizing his staring was inappropriate. As soon as he saw Arnold he was asking to be sent back to night shift. This wasn't a good idea, he was getting close but maybe just a little too close.


Arnold opened Helgas door and carried in her lunch tray, she was exactly where he left her. Sitting on the window ledge staring out the window. He sat the tray on the bed and sat down beside it. She spoke first for once, seeming to sense his presence.

"I don't need to go outside you know." She said.

"No?" He asked.

"I survived for fifteen years without the sunlight...I learned to live off the light in my mind and that's enough. I can escape a million times and never leave this room. It doesn't matter to me." She said with a shrug.

"You can keep up this tough act Helga, if that helps you then do it. I'm still not going to give up on you. You can push me away a thousand times, you can keep silent for months if it helps I'll still be here. I'm not leaving you, you're not alone this time Helga. Scream, cry, throw things. You do what you have to do, and I'll be here." He said.

She didn't say anything, she didn't even turn to look at him but she wiped her eyes with one hand. He sat there watching her, she always had been a loner. After what seemed like hours but was only ten minutes she spoke.

"Eden, Jeffrey, and Ingrid." She said.

"What?" He asked confused.

"Eden, Jeffrey and Ingrid...those were the names I wanted for my children. I wanted three, those were there names. When I first...the first few years I told myself that...I had to stay alive for someone, because we were going to end up together. We were going to have babies, Eden, Jeffrey and Ingrid." She said.

"There's still time." He said.

"That's not the point. I died everyday in that basement, I died every day." She said.

"Why did you get in the car?" He asked in a pleading voice.

She shrugged but was silent. His chest hurt and his head was pounding. It felt as if his very sould was being torn from his body. He ached everywhere, it was as if an invisible thread had linked him with her. He could feel every fiber of desperation, every twinge of hopelessness. He might slowly be saving her, but he was dying.

He stood and left her room, he left her door unlocked but knew she wouldn't leave her room. She was breaking him faster than he was her. He was her cure, and she was his disease every little bit he did to cure her, her was more infected. He was overdosing and she was going through withdraw. In the end she'd be okay and he'd crave her. He might save her, but she was slowly going to kill him. He could feel it in his bones, she was running him downright ragged already and it was only the beginning.


AUTHOR NOTE: I am looking for someone who can help me with my cover for this fiction. If you're an artist of any kind and would like to help PM me. I will give you an idea of what I'm looking for. I will also provide you my e-mail if you're interested and you can send me your ideas I'll can then set it as my cover. Full credit will of course go to the author. You may also use it again and post it wherever you wish you'll simply be letting me borrow it for my fiction. I would really appreciate the help I have an idea of what I'd like it to look like, but I'm open to any I just want one that the image goes with the story.