Arnold woke up first and when he rolled over found the spot beside him empty. He sat up and dove for his boxers pulling them on he stumbled into his living room, her shoes were gone as well as her suitcase.
"No, no." He ran to the bathroom and wasn't surprised to find it empty.
He grabbed his cordless phone and dialed Claires number as he pulled on his jeans in a frenzy. It rang twice but seemed like two hundred before she answered.
"Hello?"
"Claire! Help, I need help." He yelled pulling on a t-shirt.
"Arnold? What happened?"She asked.
"She's gone, I lost her." He said.
"Lost who?" Claire asked.
"Helga, who do you think? I woke up and she was gone."He said grabbing his shoes.
"Okay, calm down. What happened?" She asked.
He froze with one shoe half on, standing on one leg with the phone balanced on his shoulder. He didn't say anything and Claire spoke.
"Arnold? What happened?" She asked her voice stern.
"Uhm..."He sat down on his bed.
"Oh, is that all?" She asked seeming to catch on.
"Claire, I violated ever rule in the book. Everything you ever taught me I threw it out the window." He said.
"Do you think I didn't know this would happen?" She asked.
"You set me up?" He asked sounding hurt.
"No, I knew how you felt about her and no matter how hard you tried you weren't keeping it half a professional as you wanted too. I know you were trying, but her therapy was going nowhere. It's time you step aside as her therapist and step up as the man she needs." Claire said.
"I don't understand, she needs help." Arnold said.
"Yes, she does. Which is why from here on every other week I'll see her in my office for a one on one session, I'll be her doctor and you be who you want too." She said.
"You're brilliant, you know that?" He asked.
"I know, now go find her." Claire said.
He hung up and struggled to pull on his shoes as he grabbed his coat and headed for the door. He tripped over the rug and nearly fell on his face as his door swung open. He closed it and pulled on his coat a second before he reached the sidewalk. He looked both ways on the street trying to anticipate which way Helga would have gone. He decided to go left first and broke into a run, brushing past people and looking everywhere for her.
He jogged around the block once and then turned down the street towards the park. He hoped nothing had happened to her, the worst part was not knowing how long she'd been missing. He was passing the park when he saw her sitting alone on a bench watching some kids play. He collapsed onto the bench beside her, but she didn't acknowledge him.
"I've been looking all over for you. You had me scared to death." He said.
"I'm sorry, I just needed some air." She said softly.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"No, I'm not okay...I'm twenty nine years old and I just lost my virginity when everyone else my age has children. Even if I had children I can't drive, I've never had a drink in my life. I've never been on a date, or to a dance. I might not have been abused or mistreated but I'm not okay, what happened to me...it's not okay." She said, she choked on the last three words and started to cry.
He slid down the bench taking her in his arms, she went willingly and he held her close as she cried. He kissed the top of her head wishing for all the world he could take her pain away, he felt tears in his own eyes but forced himself to be strong for her sake.
"I missed so much, you...I loved you so much and I missed your entire life, a life we could have had together."She said.
"You didn't miss a lot." He said.
"Tell me? about you, and Phoebe..."She said.
"Phoebe was devastated after you went missing. She was all alone, until Gerald stepped in. They were inseparable for years, they went to prom together and everything. He asked her to marry him after college." He said.
"Did she say yes?" Helga asked.
"No, she broke up with him. She moved to Chicago and became a lawyer...she fights child custody battles and does charity for abused children, you inspired her to do that. Gerald followed her a few years later...they got back together, they got married two years ago." He said.
"Did you go? to the wedding?" She asked.
"Yeah I was best man, Phoebe had Olga stand in for you as maid of honor you know. She misses you, very much." He said
"Can...can I call her? sometime?" Helga asked.
"I think that's a good idea." He agreed.
"Olga, mom, dad...what happened to them?" She asked.
"Your mom took it pretty hard Helga, she tried to find you...she started drinking...she died...I'm so sorry." He said hugging her closer.
"I figured as much when Bob came alone to the hospital." Helga said.
"He tried, he really tried. After your mom died Olga flew to Paris, she came home for Phoebes wedding but that was the last time I saw her." He said honestly.
"Tell me about you." She said rubbing her face against his chest.
"What do you want to know?" He asked.
"Everything." She said.
"After you first went missing, I was shocked. I tried to help find you, I kept thinking that you'd come back. You always came to me, and I waited for it. I spent months staying up all night staring at that glass ceiling waiting for you to pop in. You never did, and the longer you were gone the more I realized what I really lost." He said.
"A stalker?" She asked with a small smile.
"No, I lost me. I lost the only person in the world who knew who I really was. You knew me better than anyone, better than I knew myself. My lights, my darks, my dreams...you knew me and when you were gone I was truly alone. Bob gave me your journals and I spent a lot of time getting to know you for who you were, I think I fell in love with while I was reading those books." He said.
"Just like that?" She asked.
"Yeah, just like that. I fell in love and it was too late. I dated a few times, but I never felt a real connection like I did when I read your diaries, I knew whatever we had it was real, and no matter what the circumstance was...I'd never have that with anyone else." He said.
"I loved you so much, I used to lay in that basement and dream that you would be waiting for me. I never thought it would actually happen." She said.
"I waited, I didn't have a choice. If I can't be with you, I can't be with anyone." He said kissing the top of her head.
"What about your grandparents? and parents?" She asked.
"Grandma died when I was nineteen, she was happy always crazy right up until the end. Grandpa was devastated and I remember after her funeral, I found him sitting in their room holding one of her old dresses. I asked him if it was worth the pain, losing her. He told me that when I found the one I'd know it was worth a hundred years of pain for one minute of happiness and I thought of you. Grandpa died a year later, surrounded by boarders he was happy to go see Grandma but I wasn't ready to let go, after he was gone I was alone." He said.
"I'm sorry Arnold." She said.
"It's okay, I went looking for mom and dad, I knew the chances of finding them alive were slim, but I tried. I found out they were dead, had been all along. They were involved in a mud slide that buried half the village I was only two when it happened." He said.
"Arnold, I'm so sorry. I have nothing to be upset about compared to you." She said.
"Yes, you do. I was alive I lived my life you didn't." He said.
She pushed away to sit up and turned on the bench to face him. She was still crying and he reached out to wipe a few tears away.
"Where do we go from here?" She asked.
"Home." He said.
"And then what? What happens with us?" She asked and he saw the insecurity in her eyes.
"We take it one day at a time. I'm not going to be your therapist anymore, Claire is but I'll be here always." He promised.
"I missed so much." She said.
"I know, but it's going to be okay. We're going to have babies, maybe a little later but we're going to have babies. We're going to be okay Helga." He promised.
"I know, I'm not okay, what happened to me...it's not okay, but...it will be." She said softly.
Claire stood in her kitchen sipping her coffee when Jack came downstairs, he smiled at her and poured himself a cup.
"So, what are we doing tonight? dinner?" He asked.
"I'll probably be at the office late." Claire said.
"What for?" Jack asked, taking a drink of his own coffee.
"I have a lot of paperwork that I need to fill out, especially if we're going to pull the plug on this drug thing." She said.
"You're still canceling that?" He asked.
"Yeah, I am." She said, finishing her coffee she put her empty cup in the sink.
"I thought maybe you'd change your mind." He said.
"No, if my patients are in danger I have to do something." Claire said.
"I wish you'd reconsider." He said.
"I can't Jack, you understand right?" She asked.
"Yeah, of course I do." He said with a smile.
She leaned over and gave Jack a chaste kiss before turning and heading up the stairs to take a shower. She picked out her outfit for the day and laid it on her bed before stepping into her bathroom, she stripped down and stepped into the shower letting the hot water work it's magic and wake her up. She heard the bathroom door and smiled to herself.
"Did you decide to join me?" She asked.
The door to the shower opened and the next thing she realized was the sharp pinch in her neck. She slipped on the water and fell to the floor of the shower, Jack stood over her holding a syringe.
"Oh Claire, my sweet girl. You just couldn't leave well enough alone." He said.
"What?" She asked, a sense of panic rose when she realized she couldn't move her legs.
"Relax darling, this won't kill you. It's a new drug, I was going to try it on the patients next, it completely immobilizes all muscle functions. You will have normal brain function and be completely aware of all things but won't be able to move..or speak." He said.
"n...u...h." She tried to speak and found her tongue wouldn't cooperate.
"It's only temporary, just until I talk to the board and get that promotion." He said.
She watched him take out his cell phone and dial three numbers, her head was pounding from hitting it on the shower floor, her limbs felt completely useless.
"My girlfriend tried to kill herself, please hurry...there's so much blood." Jack said as he faked a sob into the phone. He gave them her address and hung up kneeling down to her level.
"The ambulance will be here in time baby, I promise." He said.
He lifted her right arm from beside her lifeless body and she watched as he drew a paring knife across her wrist, she didn't feel the pain but stared at the blood that ran down her arm. He lifted her left arm and did the same before dropping the knife beside her, he stroked her hair back from her face.
"I'm sorry Claire." He said.
"ba...aaaa...st...ar..d"She managed out, the small word depleting her energy she passed out.
There is still time to get in your questions and I will do my best to answer them, here are the newest one.
Question One:So what's going to happen to irene and leon.
Answer: A magician never reveals their secrets and neither do I. ;)
Question Two: I wonder what happened to Phoebe after Helga disappeared
Answer: I suspect Phoebe will make a small appearance later.
Question Three: Has Arnold put his love life on hold in hoping one that day Helga comes back into his life?
Answer: I think he probably dated, okay I know he dated. It's really no uncommon if you think about it, he thought she was dead. While he might have been crazy in love with her it would me impractical for him to not at least attempt to date. Maybe he didn't settle down or sleep with a hundred people I think even when in a relationship a part of him would pine for Helga, he would at least try to move on. Having once lost someone very close to me I know it's hard to get up and keep going, but doing so is the natural course of action. He might have loved Helga, but I can be positive he would have tried to move on. Lots of people re-marry or date after a loved one passes, some become very happy and are completely devoted to the next person, others never lose that feeling they had for the first love, I think that would be more Arnolds case.
Question Four: What did Helga think of her first kiss?
Answer: haha it was Arnold, she loved it. ;)
Question Five: Was Helga really willing to let her first time of intimacy happen like that, as just a distraction from the thunder?
Answer: It was more than just the thunder, while this provided an excuse it wasn't really a random act. This was Arnold, the boy she's been in love with her entire life, the boy she never thought she'd see again. Giving yourself to anyone in that way shows a great amount of trust and comfort, let alone the first time. I wanted that to be symbolized as in the most pure form he finally got to know her. They might talk but talking isn't as intimate as sex, and her being a virgin makes that more true. She trusted him with that and he met her halfway on something, he let down his own walls for just a few minutes and allowed them to connect in the most personal way.
If you have a question you'd like answered leave it in a review or PM it to me if you don't want others to see it. I'll answer them in my next chapter.
