Sweet, I got some reviews. I mean, there's only two at this point, but there both positive. So that must mean I'm doing pretty good for a first timer.

ZeldaFanDaen- Yeah, I guess I wasn't thinking when I wrote that. And I agree, when I first thaught of Link in Master Cheif's armor holding an SMG, I laughed.

hamxham- Glad you liked the evil cupcake, to be honest, I thaught people were going to think it was stupid. But, I guess I was wrong. )

Anyway, here is my second chapter of Hyrule, We Have a Problem. P.S. I still don't own the Legend of Zelda or Halo. (sniff, T-T)

CHAPTER 2: HALO

"Link, Link wake up." Link looked up to see that it was Ashei that had been talking to him. Apparently she was the one least injured in the crash, due to all of her armor. "It's about time, I thaught we'd lost you, yeah." Link sat up, painfully I might add, and asked "Where is everyone?" Ashei pointed to the gaping hole on the other end of the ship, indicating that everyone was outside.

Link went outside to see Mikau nursing a torn fin on his right arm, Auru bandiging up his wounded head, and Zelda and Tetra resuming their chick fight. Apparently they hadn't gotten enough of a beating from the crash. "Psst, Link, over here." Link turned his head to see Malon motioning for him to follow her. "Look," she said pointing at the crumpled remains of what once was a man encased from head to toe in green armor. "At first I thaught he was sleeping, but then V.A. called me a retard and told me that he was dead." "Speaking of wich, where is he," Link asked. "He went off to check out the area. He also said that he was going to find something sharp to stab me with."

Link noticed something lying on the ground next to the man's head. He picked it up and a small figure materielized from it, and it looked like... Navi. Except she was about a foot tall, and wearing a purple jumpsuit. She looked human, except for the fact that she had wings and she was almost see-through. "WHERE THE (BLEEP) HAVE YOU BEEN?! I WAS LYING ON THE (BLEEP)-ING GROUND NEXT TO THIS (BLEEP)-ING DEAD GUY FOR..." yup, it was Navi alright.

Link quikly dematerialized Navi when he heard V.A. call him. Link came out to find that everyone was sitting in front of Vaati's apprentice.This was the first time he saw just how badly everyone was injured. Everyone was cut and bruised and there clothes were torn. Except Mikau, who was a Zora and therefore had evolved beyond the need for clothes. "Please Link, have a seat." he said. When Link sat down, V.A. began his speech, "Well, after careful consideration and scouting of the area I have come to one conclusion... we are royally screwed." "So what's going to happen to us?" Malon asked worriedly. "I don't know, we'll have to develope a taste for grass and leaves. After a while, our memories of the Hylian language will fade and we will be forced to invent our own." Zelda broke in saying, "Well, if we have to repopulate this entire world, I call Link." "Oh no you don't, I already called dibs." Malon snapped angrily. "No you didn't," Zelda said. "I did in my head," Malon said with an "up your's" tone of voice.

Zelda and Malon where about to tear each-other's throughts out when V.A. hit them both with magic bolts "That's enough, fight over Link some other time. Then we'll eat whoever dies." Mikau was the next to speak up, "What do we do if those monsters find us, we don't have any weapons." "Well, I do have this," V.A. said, pulling out a cage containing... ANOTHER EVIL CUPCAKE!!!! This one was foaming at the mouth and gnawing on the bars of the small cage. "You carry more of those with you?" Auru asked, looking at the cupcake like it was spawned from the Evil Realm and raised by Ganondorf ... wich it probably was. "Well Link keeps an entire arsenal in his back pocket. Why can't I keep a few mutated cupcakes in my robe?" he said, putting the demonic pastry back in his robe.

"Hey, don't I get a say in this," a small voice said. Then, Navi materialized again from the small box that Link had found near the corpse. "Because if you'd rather get back to Hyrule, then I can tell you a thing or two about this place." Everyone just stared at her, dumbstruck. Until Malon, being the dumbest and therefore almost unphased by Navi's appearence, said "Navi... are you a ghost?" "No I'm not a ghost!" she said, getting irretaded by Malon's stupidity. Then Vaati's apprentice said "Dang, that means you're not dead. When Ashei first told me that you were the only one that she couldn't find, things started looking up."

Ignoring his insult, Navi told Link to put her on the ground in front of everyone. Indicating that this was going to be a LONG speech. After Navi was where everyone could see her, she began "Now, the reason that I looked like this is because I was fused with an artificial lifeform during the crash. Her name was Cortana, and since she technically wasn't alive, I..." "BOO, YOU SUCK!!!" came from the audiance. "MIKAU, SHUT THE (BLEEP) UP!!!" Mikau, now a little scared, didn't say anymore. Then Navi continued "As I was saying, since Cortana wasn't really alive, I took over her body. And her intelligence was transferred to me."

Link spoke up saying "Good, maybe now you'll say something usefull." After shooting Link an angry glare, Navi continue her speech "That ship that we were on when we first went through the vortex was called the Pillar of Autumn. And it was trying to lead those monsters, the Covenant, away from a human world called Earth. And that dead guy near the ship was a genetically enhanced soldier called a Spartan. I couldn't find out his real name, but everyone called him the Master Cheif."

Tetra spoke up saying "Oh yeah, did find out what killed him?" "I'm pretty sure it's the gigantic gash on the back of his head that he got when our ship hit him. Anyway, if you want to defend yourselves from the Covenant, there are some weapons in the ship. Link, I think the Master Cheifs armor should fit you. As for the rest of you, there are some spare suits of armor in the ship."

Link was able to squeeze into the Master Cheif's armor fairly easily. But his helmet was so damaged, that Link couldn't get it off his head. Everyone else put on standard Marine armor. There were no helmets, so everyone still had their various head gear on. There were also some com-links that they could use to keep in touch. And of course, everyone grabbed a weapon. Link got duale SMGs, Vaati's apprentice got a Shotgun, Ashei got a Sniper Rifle, Auru got a Rocket Launcher, Zelda got an Assault Rifle, Tetra got a Battle Rifle, Malon got duale Magnums and Mikau, being a Zora, decided stick with his trusty boomerang fins (boomerins, as I call them). Zelda was about to object to this, but Vaati's apprentice told her that they could use him to distract the Covenant while they ran away. (For all of you that are saying, "How do they know how to use guns?", you need to remember that Link always picks up a weapon and immediately knows how to use it. And that's the case here.) After everyone was squared away with there gear, Link plugged Navi into his com-link so everyone would be able to heare her.

"Covenant dropship incoming! I suggest moving into those hills. If we're lucky, they'll think everyone died in the crash." Navi said over the com-link. Everyone did as Navi suggested and moved into the hills... that is, everyone except Malon. Malon was too distracted by a ladybug crawling on a blade of grass. "Hello little bug, my name's Malon. Who are you?" she said to the bug.

Just then, the dropship landed not very far from her position. Alot of Covenant jumped out, and it was obvious that they saw Malon trying to talk to the bug. But they must have seen her as not much of a threat. So they only sent one Grunt out to deal with her. The Grunt waddled up to Malon and poked her in the head with his Needler to get her attention. Malon turned to see what was poking her, and when she saw the Grunt, she said, "Aaaww, what a cute little mutated Deku Scrub. Are you looking for a freind?" The Grunt raised an eyebrow (if Covenant have eyebrows) in confusion. "Oh I just gotta' hug it!" Malon said, then seized the Grunt in a guillatine-like hug.

The other Covenant saw the Grunt flailing it's arms, desperately trying to free itself from Malon's death grip, and they took this as an attempt to strangle the Grunt and they attacked. However, the team members that had took shelter in the hills also took this opportunity and sneak-attaked the Covenant. Everyone except Vaati's apprentice that is. He had voted to let the Covenant eat Malon while they made their escape.

(Insert wicked awesome battle sceen here.)

After all the Covenant were dead, including the one that Malon strangled, Navi took the opportunity to ask Malon' "WHAT THE (BLEEP) IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!" Malon just said that she wanted to make freinds with the pretty bug. Navi then added, "Look, It's dangerous for us to stay here now. My sonar is picking up Marines over those hills. We need to help them." Tetra objected, saying "Hey, who said anything about us helping anyone. I just want to get home." "You are going to help those Marines... or else." Navi said threatningly. "Or else what?" Tetra said, daring Navi to do whatever it was she had planned.

Then a barrage of "HEY! LOOK! LISTEN! WATCH OUT!" came over everyone's com-links. Everyone howled in extreme paine while trying to cover their ears. "ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT WE'LL HELP!" Tetra screamed. "Good," Navi said "Now, get moving. Those Marines are somewhere in the hills to the north."

After a few hours of walking and a few more skirmishes with the Covenant, a large building came into view. "There's a large concentration of Marines inside that structure. I'll call for an evacuation. Echo-419 come in, this is Cortana. We've found the surviving Marines and are awaiting evac." A voice came over the com-link saying "Roger, Cortana. Echo-419 is inbound." "Well, now all we have to do is wait." Navi said.

But just as she said that, more dropships came into view. "Oh that's perfect!" Ashei said, getting more than a little frustrated. Then the Covenant jumped out of there ships and began battling with the humans. Then Vaati's apprentice cocked his Shotgun and said "Don't worry, I've got two weeks of homicidal rage built up and I'm ready for action. Now where to start, eeney-meeney-miney-KILL!" With that, he ran foreward while firing his Shotgun blindly. Then the others followed his example.

After alot of shooting and yelling and dying, the dust started to settle. And V.A.'s voice was heard, "Navi, status report." Navi responded, saying "Everything is dead... including the Marines." As the dust cleared, everyone could plainley see that all of the Covenant and Marines were dead. They all had bullet holes in them, and some of them had cut marks from Mikau's "boomerins".

"Are there any other casualties?" Vaati's apprentice asked. " I don't think so." Navi said. " Really? Nobody was hit in the face when somebody's shotgun accidentally discharged?" " Not that I know of." "You, Red?" V.A. asked, looking at Malon. "Nope, I'm all-right." she said happily. " Dang it, I really need to learn to aim before I shoot."

Then Mikau said " All right, I think I've had enough. I'm getting out of here." then he ran off. "Mikau, get back here. Evacuation is on it's way." Link yelled after him. " We don't even know where this ship is coming from. It could be hours, days, or maybe even wee..." Mikau was cut off by the fact that a Pelican ship landed on him. "Ship's here." Auru said.

END OF CHAPTER 2

Well there's the second chapter. I hope you liked it. If you haven't noticed, Malon is my least favorite charector. And there will be alot of Malon bashing from here on out. Oh, and don't forget to review.