Hangovers start in the heart
Upon entering the gates of Magnolia I felt the city unravel it's amazing image all around me. It was incredibly quiet in the morning but the lifeless and still city had a mysterious, ethereal beauty to it, the doves flew around bathing in the morning dew and enjoying the first rays of the dawn which didn't give any warmth yet but lifted the sad and gloomy hearts of everyone who was enveloped in them. Unfortunately they didn't manage to improve my mood. Fact was that everything which I used to associate with the word dawn and daybreak was absent. The feeling of contempt which I used to have after a fun party, a drunk night and a few good laughs with friends who brought me home were not present. All I felt was emptiness the feelings I got when I realized that all the love I had for Gray Fullbuster was gone but it was also there as well. It my sound insane but suddenly I felt the urge to laugh out loud and I did so. I searched for a bench on the road which appeared after I entered the gate and I found one below a great oak tree. The bench was wet and a few nails were missing, not to mention that the wood was damaged as well it had a few holes and some parts were broken but I didn't really care anymore.I sat down and debated what I should do if the remaining piece of wood below my heavenly behind were to break. However I reminded myself that right now I am supposed to assess my miserable life so I decided not to give a damn about the above mentioned possibility.
I started looking at things in my life debating what I should do from now on but in the end no matter which corner of my mind I ventured to, which place I took a look at all I could see was an annoying head with raven black hair and dark blue eyes. I despised myself for it. For my weakness, my pathetic, clingy side which just wouldn't die no matter how many goddamn boulders I threw at it's ugly face. Even now she was acting up and saying all kinds of bull about Gray not being such a bad guy and about me being a damn woman who is just way too stingy when it comes to love but right now I wasn't in the mood for this so I decided that it was time to finally shut her up, I shook my head and got off the bench.I slowly walked towards my home on the Riverlane street. and I reached it in about half an hour. Fortunately not many people were around at this hour only a few guys who opened their restaurants and did a bit of cleaning up before the arrival of their customers. And of course some godforsaken drunks like me who just got home after the stressful night. Once I got to our house I slowly walked up to the door and opened it. Mom was still in bed so I didn't really have to worry about her. She was a nice mom anyways she told me that when on a party it's okay to get a lil tipsy it's just important to always stay close to others you trust in case you can't get home alone.
Well if she knew what happened now she would of course be somewhat angry at me after all she was only so carefree because up until now I have been the image of responsibility. The best child a parent could ask for but seeing that mom was the best parent a child could ask for it isn't really surprising. I reached my room and silently went inside leaving the hall somewhat relieved that I didn't disturb mom's sleep .My room was a simple one, I had a few plants here and there , mostly lavenders and some violets. The room was a light blue color and because of the dark blue satin curtains the light shining inside had a fanit bluish hue to it as well. I had a wonderful standing clock in one of the corners which was surrounded by lush plants and a few big pieces of shiny crystals all around it. Next to it was my great black wooden bookshelf full of different novels and pieces of literature. On the corner opposite to it was my desk which had many books piled on top of it and my black laptop which had a few shining dots on the side illuminating the darkness of theroom. When I looked to my other side I could see my grande wardrobe full of clothes, a shoeshelf, a few more smaller chests for things like coats ,robes and scarves. Also my comfortable little couch clad in a dark violet carpet and my ebony standing lamp. And of course between the two corners of my room was my bed which had a few orange covers and a great mountain of pillows on top of it ...and what I saw to my terror there was also Gray's scarf on top of the mountain of cushions. I eyed the piece of cloth like it was my greatest enemy. Well we could say that it actually was, this little bit of dirty crap was my most treasured posession, my best friend however it was also a vile piece of my past. A knife which would cut me every time I touch it because that scarf was Gray...it may sound sad but for me that thing was Gray who was kind and loving. A funny and goofy guy who was clumsy and grew way too tall and whose limbs were so long that he'd always knock something over. Yes, the him before he turned into an annoying and heartless jerk who only enjoyed using others. I went closer and picked it up throwing it onto my couch but in that same moment I bent over and fell onto my bed. It felt like my insides were burning up, like my stomach acid wants to burn a hole into my gut and flow out. I knew that this was the start of my hangover and I already hated it.
I felt some of my tears slowly flow out but I just couldn't give a damn anymore. My new companions, headache, stomach acid and nausea were only minor annoyances compared to the emotions which that damn scarf conjured up. I slowly got on my hands and with a heavy sigh I lifted myself off the bed and started rummaging through my handbag looking for a few meds to ease the pain. Some aspirin could really save me right now that's what I thought. But instead of some aspirine which would have given me some rest I found my dark Blackberry cellphone which started glowing. I had a really bad premotion but I decided to look at the screen , something bad may have happened but once I pushed the unlock button I realized that this was the last hit I needed to lose it. Upon unlocking the message I saw that it was sent by listen and be in awe folks Gray "GifttoallwomenfromGod" Fullbuster. It was a long and disgustingly sweet message which started with the words :
"Lucy, are you alright? I was so worried..."
Reading this part was enough for me. I had been driven to the edge so many times this year a little crappy shit like this wouldn't manage to make me break. I closed the message took my phone and threw it onto my desk and continued searching for some medicine. However once I found them I realized that my cheeks were wet and sticky and that breathing became heavy for me.
"Mother of goddman shit-" was the only thing I managed to mutter in between two sobs when I swallowed the pills and popped myself on the bed, stinky, muddy, full of grass, hungover and weeping.
I couldn't really give a damn about anything anymore the only thing I wanted was to get some sleep. But that was also denied it seems. My phone started to ring out loudly, with that frustrating seawave ringtone which godknows why I set. I wanted to ignore it at first but it just kept on getting louder and louder until I reached the limits of my patience. I got off the bed furiously and stormed to my desk I grabbed the phone and picked up the call without a second thought and shouted loudly into the machine.
-"WHO THE GODFORSAKEN HELL CALLS AT THIS HOUR?!"
"- Lucy...it's me Erza."
"Oh...hey Er... I thought it was someone else I thought..."
"-Lucy, be quiet okay-the usual bossy and loud edge from Erza's voice was gone and this scared my a bit so I decided to just listen to her quietly-Lucy Heartfilia where the hell are you?"
"-I am at home Erza, what did you..."
"-What did I think huh ? ...WHAT DID I THINK? YOU STUPID IDIOT, you run of in the middle of a godforsaken party with four bottles of pure alcohol into the woods and you think I wouldn't be worried? Did you lose your mind? Everyone feaked out completely because of this shit you pulled, Gray wanted to call the cops."
That was the moment when I felt my heartbeat stop, if it were only Gray than I'd be happy that I caused trouble to that bastard but all my friends who were there...I chocked on my saliva and I couldn't breath since I felt my guilt and my shame form a big lump in my throat rendering me unable to speak or even get a gulp of air but Erza just continued.
"-It's enough Lucy...I've really had about enough of you and so did everyone else. You can be sure that you won't be invited to any parties anymore thanks to this incident. ...And there's also one more thing. I know how much you loved Gray and how much you still love him and I know that Juvia told you that he'd be bringing his current sextoy but this is too much. I can't support you anymore...I am sorry but please don't call me after this...Goodbye Lucy."
After that the only thing I could hear was the beep sound of the cellphone but my brain couldn't register it anymore. I stood there in the middle of my lonely room and I just looked at something even I don't know what exactly anymore. I kept staring and staring and than I felt a small laughter escape my lips and get louder and louder.
"This is it-I thought-seems like I officially lost my mind.
And than I just crouched down on the floor with my tears falling and my laughter echoing until the sun arrived at my window.
