People, I have developed a theory on why I have such bad grammar and spelling. It is because of all the World of Warcraft that I have been playing. You see, when I am playing WOW there is no need for grammar and spelling. All you need is to know what "lol pwned u, noob" meens. It is also because of the fact that I have a North Dakota accent. (After all, we do say "uff' da" and "yeah, you betcha" alot. I know I do.) Anyway, here to do the disclaimer is the hottie of Koholint, Marin.

Marin: Thanks againe! Vaati's Apprentice does not own the Legend of Zelda or Halo. Even though he wishes he does. Oh, and World of Warcraft was mentioned above, he doesn't own that either.

CHAPTER 7: THE LIBRARY

Fire-team Onicron found themselves inside a large room with no signs of life, except for the talking metal ball. "What the (BLEEP)!? Who the (BLEEP)!? Where the (BLEEP)!?" Tetra yelled, still disoriented. "To answer your questions, I am 343 Guilty Spark, head of installation. And this is the Library, inside is the Index. However, it will be dangerous. Actually, it will be a text book suicide mission with all the Flood running around. So, have fun walking." Guilty Spark said.

"Wait, how is a book going to help us control Halo?" Zelda asked. "Yeah, reading bad for Malon." Malon said. "Stupid organic lifeforms, the Index is the key to Halo. Not a book." Guilty Spark said. "Now follow me, I shall lead you to the Index." Guilty Spark said. After much questions and no answers, the team finally agreed to follow Guilty Spark. The team came to an impossibly large door wich Guilty Spark opened "That is one, this is the first of many." he said.

However, when the door opened, the team was showered with turret rounds. The team took cover behind the walls. "How come command is always telling us to just get the mission done?" Flood #1 asked Flood #2 while Flood #3 operated the turret. "Well what do you expect them to say?" Flood #2 asked. "Well, how about 'Get out there and try not to (BLEEP) up the mission?" Flood #1 said. "Well that seems kind of cruel." Flood #2 said.

"Hey Flood, how about you stop shooting and come out so we may kill you!?" Link yelled, still behind the wall. "How about no!? You don't stand a chance, we have Big Man on our side!" Flood #3 yelled. "Yeah, you can't stop the Big Man!" a fourth Flood, apparently Big Man, yelled. "Nobody (BLEEP)s with me! You guys have been out Big Manned!" Big Man yelled.

Just then, Big Man was hit in the center of his forehead. Ashei reloaded her sniper rifle, making it obviouse that she was the one that shot him. "AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH, YOU ASS HOLE!!!" Big Man yelled as he fell to the ground. "Who, Big Man got shot." Flood #1 said. "Damn... do you think he's hurt?" Flood #2 asked. "Guys, we need to regroup." Flood #3 said, abandoning his turret. "We're more of horde. So shouldn't you say rehorde?" Flood #1 asked.

"Excuse me, Flood?" a voice said. The Flood turned to see Ashei standing behind them. "What do you want!?" Flood #3 yelled. "I... I think that we should be on the same side." Ashei stuttered. "On the same side!?" Flood #3 yelled. "Yeah, this guy told me that we should be on the same side, yeah." Ashei said. "A guy?" Flood #3 asked. "Yeah, you know because... our clothes." Ashei said, fumbling for an answer. "Our clothes!? You're saying that we should be on the same side because of our clothes!? Well, according to that logic, we should be on the same side as blue skinned Covenant." Flood #3 said. "Well, that's not the only reason." Ashei stuttered. "No, you know what? Screw you, you racist bastard." Flood #3 said. "Oh, (BLEEP) this." Ashei said. Then she shot Flood #3 through his head with her sniper rifle. Link sliced through Flood #2 with his energy sword, and V.A. blasted Flood #1 with his shotgun.

"Excellent, now we must continue to the Index." Guilty Spark said. "O.K., how hard can that be?" Link said.

-twelve hours and several opened doors later-

The entire team was steeped in Flood blood and body parts. They had to resort to eating the Flood to avoide going crazy from hunger. And, needless to say, they were more tired than Malon after reading (or trying to read anyway). "Ah good, we are neering the Index." Guilty Spark said. "That's the exact same thing you said five hours ago. And the hour before that." Link said. "This is like what you would get if Navi and Kaepora Gaebora had a baby." V.A. said.

At that point, Malon collapsed to the floor. "Get up reclaimer." Guilty Spark said. "MALON TIRED!!!" Malon yelled, a little less rationall than usual. "Very well, you may all rest." Guilty Spark said. With that, the rest of the team joined Malon in collapsing onto the floor. "Honestly, the other reclaimers made it to the next door without rest before they were devoured by the Flood." Guilty Spark said. "You meen we're not the first ones that you've taken through here?" Tetra asked. "No, there have been approxamately 2,483 other reclaimers." Guilty Spark said. "And it never occured to you that it might be a good idea to leave the doors open?" V.A. asked. "I never thaught of that." Guilty Spark said.

"Well, that's enough rest. We must get going if we wish to exterminate the Flood." Guilty Spark said. The team got up with a great deal of groaning, and praceeded to what was supposably the last door. They were relieved to find that there were no Flood behind the door. But Link was still a little worried. "Tetra, Ashei, you two stay here and stand guard until we return." Link said. "Wait, this is a cave. There could be bats." Tetra said, now getting a little freaked out. "Why, you're not afraid of bats are you?" Link asked. "Me, of course not!" Tetra said, trying to put on a brave face. "Good, then you won't mind staying back here." Link said. "You can count on us sir, yeah." Ashei said.

After they left, Tetra started getting more than a little jumpy. "Did you here that!?" she yelled. "Yes, I heard water dripping." Ashei said. "Sounds like bats!" Tetra said. "Bats aren't made of liquid, bats don't drip!" Ashei said. "How do you know Ashei? What if you're wrong?" Tetra asked. "All right idiot, let's assume I'm wrong. Let's assume there are bats, yeah. So what? You're wearing state of the art biomechanical body armor. Wich is designed to deflect bullets and obsorb explosions. What could a five ounce flying rodent possibly do, yeah?" Ashei said. "So bassically, you're saying that you think there's bats!?" Tetra said, getting more nervouse. "You know what, sure. Why not?" Ashei said, giving up trying to reason with the insane pirate. "I'm getting the (BLEEP) out of here!" Tetra yelled. "No, I told Link we werent going to move and that's just what we're not going to do." Ashei said. "Well let's at least go stand by the light." Tetra said, motioning to a strobe light down the hall. "No, that would be moving, thus violating our strict 'no moving' policy, yeah." Ashei said. "But the light would help us see the bats, and their fangs." Tetra pleaded, while Ashei said no throughout her sentence. "Hey, you know what else might be in the cave Ashei... snakes." Tetra said, putting a sly smile on her face. "You're an ass hole Tetra! Why would you bring up snakes?" Ashei asked. "I'm just saying, I know you don't like snakes. And snakes do live in caves, and we are in a cave, and snakes like to crawl right up next to people in caves and..." Tetra said. "All right, screw it! I'm standing near the light, yeah!" Ashei said, making a dash for the light.

After a while, Link and the others came back with extremely pissed off looks on there faces. "Hello sir, did you find the Index?" Ashei asked, though the answer was obviouse. "The geniouse orb here led us down the wrong corridor!" Link yelled. "So where's the Index?" Tetra asked. "Over there." Guilty Spark said, motioning to a large cicular room with a strange green object levitating in the center. The team went in, and Link removed the Index from it's holder. Guilty Spark zapped it with a strange beam that absorbed it. "Scanners indicate that your body is insufficient to carry the Index." Guilty Spark said. "Look you gay ball, I've been dragged all over the inside of Halo, I'm covered in blood, I smell like a dead Moblin, and I will decapitate the next thing that tells me what to do." Link said, getting more and more angry. "We must get to the Control Room to stop the infestation." Guilty Spark said, taking no heed of Link's warning. He then teleported the team out of the Library, and off to another seemingly endless mission.

END OF CHAPTER: 7

WHOA, I havn't updated in forever! Truth be told, I had given up on this story. But a reviewer reminded me that there are people out there that actually read this story. And I now have renewed ambition to finish this story.