The Doctor pulled his glasses down and rubbed his eyes as warm air caused the hairs at his nape to rise. "Actually breathing down my neck isn't going to help anything, Colonel."
"When did I get promoted?" The Doctor turned to hug his companion tightly. "Hey, watch it, I've still got staples." His eyes widened, and he pulled her collar up to peer at her wound. "It's okay, Doctor, Doc Frasier took good care of me, no need to give everyone else here a show."
Jack's cough was hardly subtle. "How's the weapon coming, Doc-tor?"
The Doctor's left eyebrow lifted in Jack's direction, while Buffy arched hers. After a moment, they separated. "Why does it always have to be weapons, Colonel? Couldn't I have just built a work of art, or a medical device, or something else entirely?"
Jack pursed his lips. "Invasion force in the sky, your friend already wounded, I guess I'm just hopeful. I've got this whole thing where I like life."
"Me too Jack, me too." The pitch of his voice rose, wheedling. "Thor, is it up yet?"
"It walks, Doctor." The smaller alien moved aside, revealing their latest creation. Thankfully, Jack wasn't currently armed.
"What the hell?!" Buffy moved to hold the colonel back, and Teal'c jumped up, pushing his chair back.
"Don't be fooled by appearances Colonel. It's not a Replicator. Similar, derived from, even the same species. But it doesn't replicate, it can't." The spidery creature minced across the table, and the Doctor smiled down upon it. "I messed about with the programming, the frameworks and pathways. It is technologically superior to the Replicators above, and so, so irresistible."
Jack moved closer to it, looking it over, under, and around. After several seconds, he met the Doctor's eyes. "Bugs Bunny." The Doctor nodded, and Jack smiled, guffawing. "Our planet's best defense against the Replicators is throwing a wig and some lipstick on one and saying 'Hey there, big boy,'?"
"Amor vincit omnia. Once she gets in there, they'll attempt to replicate with her, advanced technology and all, but they won't be able to do it, her little kirons and pathways will interact with it, and they'll only be able to reproduce sexually." The bug preened, and the Doctor patted it on the head, while he and Buffy shared a meaningful look. "They'll be chasing this minx and her offspring across the universe. Might even develop pop music given enough time."
Daniel and Sam had approached the table. "'Given enough time?' How much time are we talking about?" asked Daniel.
Buffy released Jack's arm, edging closer to the Doctor. "That's the rub. We've got five ships in orbit. We can only leave two alive. One as an escort for her, one to chase."
Thor blinked at the creature, fascinated. "The Asgard are proud to contribute our efforts to this planet's defense. The Doctor has kindly engineered a number of missiles capable of eliminating the other vessels. I have two cruisers due to arrive in this system within twenty minutes capable of delivering the missiles."
"Also, I've got to get to the Mother Bugs on both of those ships. Give them a little selective amnesia about the TARDIS. Shouldn't be too hard." The Doctor loosened his collar, Buffy placing her hand on his back.
"I'm going with him. But we'll need-" Buffy's eyes widened as the door opened behind the SG team. "General, hey, hi, I was just going to call for volunteers." Buffy waved the General over.
General Hammond entered, then raised the binder he carried over his face. "Colonel O'Neill?"
"Yes sir?"
"There appears to be a functioning Replicator in this lab."
"No sir. It's a-" Jack stopped, at a loss for words.
"It's a Reproducer, sir," Carter provided with a smile as Hammond lowered the binder and approached the group. "The Doctor's going to completely change a species' development."
Hammond eyeballed the Doctor, who managed to look sheepish. "That's all well and good, but we've got a issues. I have stalled them as long as I could, but NID is here, and the President is insisting that any plans we have first must be vetted by them. Thor, Doctor, Miss Summers, if you could follow me and SG-1 to the conference room, I apologize about this in advance."
