Chapter 5
"Where is my sister?!" Ash was screaming, on the verge of hyperventilating but no one could get through to her to calm her down. Currently she was running around the house in a panic, trying to find her older sister. "I need her! Where is she?"
"Ash, stop yelling," Kili pleaded with her. "She just went out for a bit. She's fine." However none of his words registered in Ash's panicked mind. Instead she ran to the door, about to run out into the street to find her sister but instead she ran into Thorin. Calmly yet firmly he took her hand and led her to the living room where he sat her down and pressed a damp washcloth to her forehead.
Calmly he told her it was okay and to try to copy his breathing. "Come on Ash, you can do it. In…. and out…. Good, again. In…. and out…. You're doing a great job." He continued to reassure her until her breathing leveled out and the panic attack subsided. Smiling at her, Thorin had her lay back. "You did a good job Ash. I'm assuming you're attack came from not knowing where your sister is?"
Still breathing hard but much calmer, Ash nodded and covered her eyes. "I'm …sorry. It's…. a recent development."
Thorin nodded. "After your brother died?"
She answered only with a nod and a slight whimper.
"You have nothing to be ashamed about Ash. It's understandable. I don't know if you heard during your attack but Rowan is shopping with Bilbo currently. Does she have panic attacks as well?"
"No. No, she gets migraines. Bad ones."
"Okay. Thanks for letting me know. I want you to lay still and rest for a bit. When Rowan gets home I'll send her in. Kili can keep you company but no running around, no getting excited." Then he left her, letting Kili take his place. As he left he passed Fili who stopped him.
"Where did you learn how to do that Uncle?"
After a brief pause, Thorin answered, "Your mother had panic attacks after Frerin and our father, Thror, were killed."
Fili nodded and let him pass to reflect on the information. His uncle continued on to the kitchen. With a groan, the oldest Durin sank into a chair, head in hand. This was going to be much more difficult than he thought. These two girls that grew up side-by-side with his nephews had, in a very short time, been through much and had come out scared and scarred. That coupled with the problems his own family were going through made him very, very tired. Why couldn't life simply let his family be?
Kili crouched next to Ash at something of a loss at what to do. "A-are you alright now?" Ash gave him a watery grin and nodded with her arm still over her eyes. "Yes, I'm alright now. I'm sorry you had to see that."
"Don't worry about that," the young brunet tried to assure her with a forced smile. After an uncomfortable pause he finally asked, "What was that?"
Ash heaved a sigh and lowered her arm, pushing herself up on shaky elbows. "I suppose I should explain now that your uncle knows. That was a panic attack. I started having them a week after my brothers murder. At first they were short, small ones and I would just hide in the bathroom so Rowan wouldn't find out. But then they got worse, happening almost every day. When she found out, Ro risked herself by going out in public and looking up all she could on panic attacks. She's really good at handling me now. They've backed off a bit, not happening every day now but they do still happen and they're usually much worse. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I didn't want you to worry."
Standing, trying to ignore the popping of his joints, the youngest Durin moved to sit on the couch by her legs. "Hey, no don't worry about it. We've all got issues here." Another forced smile, "Why do you think we're in hiding?"
"To avoid a killer," she deadpanned and they both chuckled.
"Well yeah, that's part of it. But we didn't come home without some problems of our own. For instance," he said moving her legs so they were draped across his lap and pulling her close so their shoulders and heads were pressed together. "Fili there," pointing to his older brother, "has night terrors from hell and insomnia." The blond rolled his eyes and left his post in the doorway to go find their uncle. "Uncle Thorin is jumpier than a jack rabbit with serious PTSD. No loud noises, please." Ash covered her mouth to stifle a snigger. "And you," she asked. Kili shifted uncomfortably. "I, uh, I have PTSD hallucinations and abandonment issues." Flinging her arms around his neck, the damaged young woman held him close as best she could. "Oh Kili," she whispered in his ear. They sat there like that for a good twenty minutes or so; long enough for Bilbo and Rowan to return with a mountain of groceries and a secret stash of Tylenol.
As soon as she heard the door open and her older sister announce their return, Ash vaulted up and rushed her. The older almost had the wind knocked out of her with the force of her sister's sudden hug and she barely got the carton of eggs out of the way much to Bilbo's relief. "Hi, missed you too Ash," she gasped out before continuing a little more incredulously, "We were gone for only two hours."
"And you didn't tell me you were leaving," Ash yelled at her, looking up eyes glistening. "Don't do that again!"
Rowan blinked before passing off the eggs to Kili who had followed so she could hug her sister back. "You didn't have another attack did you? I thought you wouldn't notice I was gone considering the company. I'm so sorry."
"You'd better be," Ash sniffed out, settling into the embrace. It didn't last long though before Rowan pulled back to look her in the eye and begin drilling her with questions. "How long did it last? What did you do? Did you hide again? Did anyone make it worse?"
"No, no nothing like that at all," Ash whined shaking her head. "It only lasted maybe ten minutes before it was over."
Again, the elder sister stood back and blinked. "How," she asked slowly, confused. "Apparently Thorin knows how to deal with panic attacks," Fili answered for the younger sister. "She was in good hands." Ash made a face before nodding in confirmation. "But I still don't want his help. No way I'm letting him 'talk it out' with me." Rowan rolled her eyes and refrained from sighing in exasperation. She thought her sister would benefit greatly from Thorin's help but she didn't want to get her head bit off for adding her two cents. "Whatever, go help Bilbo put the groceries away. I need to take care of something." Now it was the younger's turn to be skeptical but she shrugged and went to go help while the older, clutching something in her hand, ran to their room to search desperately for a hiding place her sister wouldn't find. She didn't expect Fili to follow her though.
Down in the kitchen, the two younger siblings were helping to put things in the wrong cabinets and drawers to mess with their housekeeper when something crashed through the living room window. There was a yell to get out and running before the explosion sent them flying.
