The Past (Chapter 12)
Disclaimer! I do not own anything from this fanfiction apart from the idea, plot and or story line~~
Thank you! All the characters and every other thing belongs to Veronica Roth~ Thank you~
All the songs and lyrics belong to their rightful owners!~
Hope you enjoy reading my story! :3
The Past (Chapter 12)
Recap~
"FINE! YOU KNOW WHAT TRIS? I WILL GO! I WAS JUST AFRAID THAT SOMETHING MIGHT HAVE HAPPEN TO YOU THEREFORE I CAME TO MAKE SURE. SINCE YOU ARE PERFECTLY FINE I GUESS YOU DON'T NEED ME." I shouted back at her, feeling pissed about how she is pushing me away.
"Good." Was the last thing I heard from her for the night and the next day.
End of Recap~
Normal P.O.V
Today is the day for the first round of the competition and everyone can feel the tension between the two representatives like yesterday. Nobody knows what had happened between them but themselves, Uriah, Christina, Will and Marlene. The four of them had to pressure and force Tobias to tell them the events between them both by using many different methods, kindly and dreadfully.
"Will you just talk to her Tobias? You guys are the representative so you need to work together if both of you wants to win." Christina said in annoyance, " Both of your moods are gloomy and depressing, it's affecting everyone so go talk!"
"Christina let's not push Tobias about this anymore. He looks like he is going to kill everyone and everything. Plus I think he is feeling guilty enough inside for yelling at Tris like that." Will reasoned for Tobias even though he didn't say anything.
Christina stared at Tobias for a moment and decided to leave him to have some time alone. "Come on guys, we've got to prepare our own performance. Let's just leave him to think." She said while walking away and everyone else follow her.
End of Normal P.O.V
Tobias's P.O.V
Seriously it's been a day and a half (Counting the night it happened) and we haven't had any interaction at all. I'm so frustrated at myself! Like Will said, I am feeling really guilty about shouting at her. I wanted to apologize to her but only for shouting at her like that however not without her apologizing to me first. I mean like I'm just concern about her; I was worried if she was okay. But all she does was push me away. I'm not as mad as I was before now that I had time to calm down and think of the possible reason. But the more reason I make, the more pain I felt because all the reason that is possible related to her not trusting me at all and it upsets me to think that. I wonder what happened. I really don't want us to just drift apart like this; I want her to trust me, to love me like I love her. There is no way I'm giving up now. I will make her be mine.
" Alright~ Now we have our class A representative Tobias Eaton up to sing for us!" The announcer said with enthusiasm.
"The song I'm singing is Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan." I introduced and the background music started playing.
(Lyrics are bold, thoughts are normal font)
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
I started singing with all my emotions that had been hidden for so long.
Do you ever feel out of place,
Even though I'm singing this with all my emotions, I managed to pull off the cheeky personality so no one will suspect, or at least most people wouldn't
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Like right now, I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere.
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?
No one will hear my silent screams for help no matter what.
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
Do you know how it feels like though Tris?
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
And broken inside
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
A memory of me being bullied when I was young flash back in my mind
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No one notices.
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
I sang with a smile, looking directly at Tris.
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
All of them
While deep inside you're bleeding
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
I sing the rest of the song with my eyes close, as I can't stop the tears anymore.
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like (What it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Tris. I thought I was going to go insane until I met you that day. You look so beautiful and is so different from others. I can tell that we're similar in some ways but different in lots. I don't know why I am so attracted to you instead of others but I am, I am hopelessly and it pains me that you're pushing me away.
"Thank you for your wonderful singing! It was amazing! And this song definitely fit the theme for this round but would you like to explain why you chose this song?"
" Thank you~ and sure why not, I'll explain why. I chose this song because it reflects all the thoughts and feelings many people will have, is having or had because of the hardships they've been through. Hardships that includes being bullied, having issues at home, a past they can't let go, regrets that they have and many more. Everyone will have some kind of pain in their life, it doesn't matter if it's little or huge it still hurts since I've experienced this many times."
The crowd got emotional with the speech I gave the judges is satisfy. I thank everyone for listening and supporting me and left the stage because Tris is the next person to be singing.
End of Tobias's P.O.V
Tris's P.O.V
Tobias's song... It describes me perfectly yet it's like he is singing about himself. Well he probably was. I wonder what happened to him that causes him to sing that. I want to know more but I can't just ask him now can I?
"Tris Prior is out next contestant! Please welcome her!"
"That's what you get by Paramore is the song I'm singing." I declared without caring.
(Lyrics are bold, thoughts are normal font)
I close my eyes as soon as the music started playing.
No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore.
It's your turn, so take a seat we're settling the final score.
And why do we like to hurt so much?
I can't decide
You have made it harder just to go on
And why, all the possibilities, well I was wrong
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
You get broken because you're weak when your heart is exposed.
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here.
I feel empty.
'Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here.
I still try, holding onto silly things, I never learn
I don't know why I am still a little just a tiny bit hopefully that you will come back.
Oh why, all the possibilities I'm sure you've heard.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating (beating)
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
Pain make your way to me, to me.
Like you always do
And I'll always be just so inviting.
If I ever start to think straight,
This heart will start a riot in me,
Let's start, start, hey!
Why do we like to hurt so much?
Oh why do we like to hurt so much?
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa!
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
Now I can't trust myself with anything but this,
This pain and these feelings
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
I opened my eyes and the first pair of eyes I met within the audience is Tobias's. For a second there I thought he looked gentle like he understand but I think that's just my imaginations.
"Perfect singing Tris! Would you like to explain to the judges why you chose this song?"
"Hmm yea. I chose this song because it is my deepest feelings ever since my boyfriend left me." I said and heard whispering everywhere. Without caring I continued, " He was the only person who got close to me and loved me. He broke down the walls I have around my self. He didn't care about what others says or think he didn't care that I was cold towards him he just loved me. One day, he left and he only sent a text to inform me. Since than, he disappeared from earth surface. This pain of someone betraying you, breaking you and making you feel empty is that's what you get when you decided to let someone in your heart. It may seems small to you but to me it's a huge matter, judge me personally about how I'm such a brat or something. I don't care. But that's the reason for this song. Thank you for listening to me singing and to my explanation" I finished and walked away to the back stage.
Up at the backstage, the first person I meet after my song is Tobias and it surprised me that he wanted to talk to me because I expect him to be cold and hate me for doing what I did.
"Tris. I don't know what happened that day but I'm sorry for yelling at you like that." He confessed, " I know now why you are cold and why you don't trust anyone anymore. But please trust me. Just have faith in me and tell me your problems, I may not be able to solve everything but I can try and you will feel better. Don't go through this alone it's very lonely. It doesn't matter if you don't believe in anyone else but please just put your trust in me."
"Ok. I will try to trust you I guess. I'm sorry for what happened before too."
He smiled and me and nodded, " Ok and it's alright at least we're ok now right?"
"Hmmm." is my only replied. I'm really happy that Tobias said that to me. But I still wonder why Tobias would go through all these troubles just for me. I know he likes me, or so he said, but am I really worth it? To me, I think I'm just a useless and worthless person that isolates herself from everyone. What did he see in me? Why does he like me? I wonder...
Author's Note~
Guys! This is chapter 12 done~! :) I hope you guys like this chapter too~ ^/^
I think I will try and get chapter 13 up by today as well hehe ^.^
Please give me any comments or anything and etc for the story~ I will be more than happy to receive them and make changes /
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And Wejdan thank you for your supportive reviews and for reading my story! ^/^ It meant a lot! 3
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