Hmm…The Object of My Affection or Legally Blond? Eh, I'll take both. Carelessly, I threw the two movies into a small basket along with Napoleon Dynamite, The Fox and the Hound, and Finding Nemo. Just as I was reaching out to grab a movie to read its summary, Sasuke's cell phone began ringing.
"…Do you think I'm pretty, just like a super model, do you like my hair? Whoa-oh-oh, Whoa-oh-oh, Do you think I'm special, am I your one and only…'
I looked at the ID. Huh, well what do you know? It says Naruto is calling. Flipping the phone open and pressing it to my ear and cheek, and answered, "Sasuke Uchiha's phone, Naruto Uzumaki speaking, how may I be of assistance sir or ma'am?"
"H-hi, N-naruto," Sasuke said over the phone, his voice sounding stuffy and wavering, as if he had been crying a lot. I bet the bastard called him on my cell phone and told him exactly what he told me. Now don't me wrong, Sasuke is normally a totally emotionless emo dude, but when it comes to relationships, Sasuke is a total emotional wreck, the poor guy.
"Oh, hey, Sasuke, I'm on my way home right now." I made sure that my voice wasn't overly happy, or overly sad, just the right mixture, a sort of subdued voice that I only use when talking to someone's who's been crying.
"T-thanks, Naruto. N-neji called me on y-your phone and- and—" I knew what he was going to say, so I cut him off before he had another emotional breakdown. I just didn't want him to have one in my apartment all alone. Unlike some people I know, I'm not a heartless bastard. Cough, Neji, cough.
"I know, he called me too; I accidentally picked your phone instead of mine this morning. Um, Sasuke?" I began, remembering his ringtone.
"Y-yeah?" he asked.
"I think you're pretty…" I grinned at myself while saying this. I don't know why I said that, I just did. It's like I kinda knew that it would make Sasuke both flustered and happy. Plus it's not like I was lying; that boy, as I've probably stated before is drop-dead gorgeous. I shall ignore the fact that it is my best male friend I am talking about and not some hot porn chick. I knew I had accomplished this little goal of mine when I was answered with a hoarse, "Oh."
"I'll see you in a couple of minutes, fifteen tops," I said, flipping the cell phone shut. I think I'll change my ringtone when I get to the apartment. The sudden urge to listen to Gwen Steffani overwhelms me all of a sudden. Maybe some Japanese mixed in. Sasuke would be proud of me.
Sasuke was part of very influential clan from Japan, and was in fact very loosely related to Neji and Hinata, though it was only be marriage, thankfully, or there would be some incest in there. Incest is not good, in Sasuke's case. I wouldn't like to see any little man-babies of Sasuke's running around with their little mutations dragging behind them. That'd be scary. And totally ruin what beauty they inherited from Sasuke. A couple of generations back, a portion of the clan including Sasuke's family had come to America (The author-ess is sorry for this sudden note, but this is basically in America; she is extremely sorry, though!). I'm pretty glad they did, too, or else I wouldn't have the best friend that I do now.
According to Sasuke, the Uchiha had been known for their intelligence (Sasuke is the smartest in the class, let alone school), their power (Sasuke has good leadership when he actually shows interest), their wealth (Sasuke's loaded!), and their good looks (damn straight!). Damn gay, actually…no, no, damn STRAIGHT! I am straight!
Still pretty preoccupied with my thoughts, I picked up one last movie randomly from the shelf and threw it into the basket. With my movie-fishing completed (for now) I made my way to the front desk. The lady who checked my movies out was rather old and senile-looking: Her glasses had such large frames that her eyes were magnified to a frightening size, and her hair was wiry and grey. Looked like she could have had met her great-great-grandchildren, really.
"Good afternoon, son," she greeted me, taking the card from my outstretched hand. After scanning it, she took out each individual DVD, and ran them across the scanner. We fell into a comfortable silence, until she picked up the last movie I had chosen. She looked up at me quizzically. "Son, are you planning a…romantic…evening tonight?" The way she said romantic made it sound dirty, and sexual.
Sexual with Sasuke? No way, right? Right?
I looked at the movie title, and blanched. "Listen, my guardian asked me to pick it up for her and her date, alright? I just retrieve the movies, I don't watch them."
The lady didn't seem to accept my explanation, but she stopped questioning me about the movie. I waited awkwardly until she had finished scanning everything before taking the movies she held out to me and exiting the premises. I stopped by Joe's Fast Stop, to pick up some more chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream for Sasuke and me, as well as some peanut butter chocolate fudge, homemade, for later maybe. After getting those items rung up and paying, I trudged those last few blocks with my arms completely full, and my visibility near zero.
Which is why I didn't see Temari when I bumped into her. Temari was Shikamaru's girlfriend; Shikamaru was Chouji's best friend, though he was a bit lazy. Wait. A bit? Anyway, Temari had her short blonde hair tied up into four ponytails. She was two years older than Shikamaru and me, and had two younger brothers, a year difference between each sibling. I think the older one was Kankuro and the younger was Gaara. I think.
"Watch where you're going you little— hey, you're one of Shika's friends aren't you?" Temari asked, helping me pick up my scattered ice cream tubs, movies, and fudge.
"Yeah, and you're Shikamaru's girlfriend, right?" I replied, attempting to take the things from her hands but she would only let me have half back.
"Sure am. Listen, you have a lot to hold there, let me help you."
"But my apartment's only a couple blocks away—"
"All the more reason to help! It won't take too long and I can continue on my way to Shika's with the good feeling inside me knowing that I helped someone." I rolled my eyes at her logic. So, I sighed and continued my way to my apartment with Temari in tow. Once we reached the elevator, I turned to her.
"Um, thanks for helping and all, Temari, but I can take it from here now, okay?" I said to her, taking the movies and ice cream from her arms. She nodded, then gave me this huge grin that I've only seen on Sakura when I've said something suggestive to Sasuke without meaning it.
"Oh, and have a fun night!" she said, saying fun the way the old lady at the movie rental store said romantic. Why must everyone think I want to get sexual with Sasuke? Do they know something I don't? 'Cuz if they do, they really should point it out to me sometime around now. Please, world, enlighten me! Despite my unworthiness to Know the Known, I ask that you Share with me!
"Don't give me that look, I saw that movie you were holding! Oh, and since your hands are full, I'll get that elevator for you." She pressed the up button, and with a ding the elevator's doors opened. Temari lightly shoved me in and pressed buttons two through five. "I don't know which floor you live on, so I just pressed them all!" And with that, she was gone, leaving me to muse over my inner thoughts on how people seemed to know more than I did. Well normally they did, but I'm talking about the subject of Sasuke and me, which I should know more about than anyone, excluding Sasuke himself.
I stepped out of the elevator when it reached the third floor, and walked down the hall until I reached 3-13, my room. Three thirteen, my two favorite numbers. Thirteen, despite its unlucky reputation, was quite a lucky number for me. Back in elementary school, at the cake walk, whenever I landed on number thirteen, that number got pulled and I won a cake. During the end of grade exams in middle school, whenever there was a math question that I didn't know the answer to, and a choice was thirteen, I would pick thirteen and it would be correct. It was pretty much the only thing that got me passed to the next grade. I liked three because it was in the third grade that I met Sasuke.
Setting down the DVDs and a few of the ice cream tubs, I unlocked the door to my apartment and stepped in, scooping up my items before maneuvering my foot so it closed the door with a grace that was only acquired after several months of practice. I dumped the tubs of ice cream in the freezer, noticing that what was left from yesterday was gone. I flipped my (well, Sasuke's) phone open and dialed the Al's Pizzeria's number and waited for someone to pick up. They normally didn't deliver this far out, but since I was an employee, I was also an exception.
"Hello, Al's Pizzeria, Kiba talking, what may I get for you sir or madam?" answered a voice I had never heard before. Well, honestly, it did sound vaguely familiar, but I'm not one to remember anything that isn't relevant to me personally. But apparently this Kiba fellow was new; I knew all of the workers at Al's, but I had never met Kiba.
"Hi, it's Naruto. Just mention that to the manager or whatever and he'll know who it is. I'd like two large pizzas, one cheese and sausage, the other with jalapenos and mushrooms. Oh, and a two liter bottle of coke, please!" I ordered cheerfully, using my other hand to block out the sound of Sasuke's music that had seeped through the bathroom's closed door.
"Will that be all?"
"Yup, and tell the manager to put it on my tab or take it out of my paycheck or whatever floats his metaphorical boat. I live at Twelve-ten, three-thirteen Red Moon Way."
"I'm sorry sir, we don't deliver in your area—"
"Don't they teach you trainees anything anymore?" I asked in fake annoyance, even going so far as to remove my hand by my ear to place on my hip. "I'm an employee, so you can deliver to me." So ha.
I heard an exasperated sigh on the other end. "Your order will be delivered to you in thirty minutes or less." With that said, 'Kiba' hung up, and I followed suit.
With the pizzas and drink ordered, I went to see what was up with Sasuke in the bathroom. He had left the door slightly open, so I figured he wasn't showering or, as Lee puts it, being the smart dork/ jock that he is, using the facilities. I pushed open the door to see Sasuke bent over the sink with a red blotched tissue draped unceremoniously over one side of the basin. I frowned at him when I realized it was blood.
"Sasuke, you emo bastard, I said specifically no going suicidal on me!" He jerked his head up and blushed.
"You idiot, I sliced my finger while trying to remove the damn plastic around the tub of ice cream!" He held up his finger, which sported a lovely orange band-aid, as if to prove his point. "When people cut, they usually don't cut their fingers!"
"Well, how was I supposed to know? For one, I don't cut, so I wouldn't know where, and second you were all hunched over the sink and I couldn't see! I just saw the blood!"
He sighed, and mumbled 'idiot' under his breath. That got me flushed with anger. Or at least I think it was anger. I just don't know anymore!
"Excuse me for caring about your well-being," I said, and turned my back to him, my nose in the air with (mock) anger. I heard him sigh again, and surprised me by wrapping his arms around me in a friendly hug.
"I know you care. And thanks for caring," he whispered into my hair before releasing me to walk out of the bathroom and down the hall before sitting on the couch in my Kitchiningroom (kitchen, dining, and living room all rolled into one, specialty of my small apartment) and settling himself so he could look at me with one eyebrow raised.
His hug felt nice. Sasuke really wasn't a touchy person, unless he was either, a) crying, b) asleep and not doing it consciously, or c) in a relationship that goes beyond friendship with you. I have never experienced c. And why the hell does that last fact make me sad?!
I stuck my tongue out at him and went to sit next to him on the couch. Leaning back into the cushions, he closed his eyes. "So…"
"So…?"
"So…what did Neji have to say?" I grimaced. I didn't give a crap about Neji! He deserved to rot in the seven-tiered city of the slugs who forever feasted upon his flesh, and forced him to be their monkey slave when they held a ball for their visiting neighbors the snails, and last but not least to have each and every one of the slugs be eaten by the Owl of DOOM, who would puke out his skeleton into a neat little pellet to be squished upon by the feet of Fate for all ages!
Oh, but before then, he has to have his hair styled in a very unfabulous way, then chopped off.
"Eh, nothing worth listening to," I said, stretching out over the couth and putting my feet in Sasuke's lap.
"Oh…"
"Hey, can we go to your house tomorrow and have a bonfire?" I asked, remembering what Hinata had mentioned on the bus earlier today. Sasuke immediately perked up at the mention of fire. He's what one might call a safety pyromaniac. He loves fire, but not like arson or anything remotely like that. However, he does like throwing slugs into the fire, after putting salt on them of course; Sasuke doesn't really like slugs. Neither do I. But I think baachan does.
"Bonfire?" he asked, looking over at me.
"Yeah, I saw Hinata on the bus this morning, and-oh!" I suddenly remembered the last thing the girl had said to me. I jumped onto my best friend and gave him a big hug before resuming my previous position. "That was from her," I answered the question on his face.
"Right. Continue."
"Well, she said that you have lost nothing that is worth being mourned or something like that. She also suggested that you burn anything and everything that Neji has touched. A bonfire would be suitable. Oh, and Sakura told him to fuck his hand!" Sasuke smiled at that part.
"It was about time someone told him too. And I think that bonfire idea was a good idea."
"You know what's a good idea? Making it into a party of sorts. Like, invite all the people at Al's, and Shikamaru. Baachan should be back by then, and she'd love to do that! But only if you want to, that is," I added softly, and looked over to him.
"Yeah, that sounds fun," he replied, grinning at me, still pretty excited about the whole aspect of fire. "And remind me to burn the sheets, please."
"W-what?!"
"The sheets. They need to be burned."
"Wha- why?!"
"Do you really want to know?"
"Uh….not really…"
"Good. Now let's go make the invitations." He got up and disappeared into my bedroom for a while before reemerging with the lap top he had gotten me for my fifteenth birthday. It was slow as a slug riding a lava flow in the Antarctic (and that's pretty slow), but only because I wouldn't let Sasuke buy me anything better. He plugged it into the wall and started it up. When the welcome screen came on, he tapped the touchpad on the name that read 'Dobe.' It was more like an endearment rather than the insult that it really was.
"Man, Naruto, how did I let you talk me into buying you the slowest computer on the market?" he said, resting his chin in his hand in a very (sexy!) bored manner, eyeing the computer as it ever so slowly began the logging in process. Once everything was all logged in and loaded up or whatever, he started up some Word thing and began making the invites.
Halfway through, the doorbell rand and I got up to get it. When I opened the door I was surprised to see the same boy that had served me in McDonald's.
"Here ya go," he said emotionlessly, looking very bored and very pissed for having to drive out here.
"What, no hello?" I asked, pouting. "You mean you don't even remember me?"
"I didn't sleep with you, did I?" Kiba asked, a look of panic appearing in his eyes. I gave him an odd look.
"Uh…no…you served me at McDonald's…yesterday!" I said, realizing that it was only yesterday that I saw the boy. When I still received a look of confusion, I sighed and decided to elaborate. "Come on, you have to remember me! I mean, how many guys can look that good in a black cami!"
"Oh, no wonder I thought that girl was cuter than usual!" Kiba shouted, grinning at me.
"Hey, you go to Konoha High, right?" I asked the boy, and he nodded. "Do you know a guy named Neji Hyuuga?" Well, duh, everyone knew him!
"Know him? I dated him!" Well, that surprised me. People weren't usually this open towards me with their orientations. However, that may have been because of the fact that the other day I was walking around publicly with a cami on. That says a lot about a guy really. "And then a couple weeks back, he dumped me, saying he didn't want to 'date a faggot.' Isn't that a nice way to end a relationship? And here I had thought he was The One. Yeah, maybe The One Who Breaks Thy Heart or some shit like that."
All I could do was stare at him with my mouth open. A couple weeks back…? But it was nearly the end of the school year, and Sasuke had been dating Neji since the beginning… And apparently Neji had a little speech memorized for each of his victims.
"A couple weeks back, you say?" Sasuke had heard what Kiba said. I looked around me to see him looking emotionlessly at the brown-haired boy in front of me, still holding the two pizzas and the two liter bottle of coke.
"Yeah," Kiba said, looking back at Sasuke.
"When did you two get together?"
"Uh…beginning of this school year, I guess…"
"Oh, so not only is he a lying two-faced bastard, but he's also a cheater," he said in a hard voice. …I'm ignoring the implications the word 'hard' make and how sexy it made him sound… Kiba looked up at him, his eyes as wide as the two large pizzas he was holding.
"You're kidding me…" he said, still shocked. A few minutes of sunned silence passed before the boy at the door handed me the two pizzas and the coke and grinned at Sasuke and me. "Well, the good thing is that I've got myself a good boyfriend, and from the looks of it, you do too!" He then turned from the door, still sporting a wide grin, and headed down the stairs. He didn't even notice the elevator.
I felt my face turn red at the heat rose to my face. I turned to see Sasuke's reaction to Kiba's implications. He was glaring at the exact spot where Kiba's head disappeared down the stairs. Typical behavior of him.
"Uh…pizza?" I asked him, trying to break the ice that had suddenly formed around the apartment like a giant…something that was ice like…. Don't blame me! I'm horrible at similes. "Then we can watch Finding Nemo…or something…"
"Yeah…pizza…and Nemo sounds good," he responded, heading over to the cabinet that held the paper plates and napkins, as well as the plastic cups. I set the pizzas and the coke on the counter and we took what we wanted to eat. After getting our food selected, we went into baachan's room to watch Finding Nemo, the best computer animated movie by Disney ever created. I am serious, that movie is the best thing that has ever come into my life by way of a disc and technology that transfers the memory of the disc onto the screen.
The next some odd hours were spent laughing hysterically at various parts, spewing half-chewed bits of pizza onto the comforter and not really caring since this isn't even my own bed in the first place. I even began choking once, while trying to say, "Mine!" along with the seagulls and Sasuke had to whack my back to get me to spit the pizza back up. No, I am not childish; I am simply still enjoying the joy of youth. …Crap, I sound like Lee…and pedophilic!
Just as the credits began rolling up the screen, I heard the door open and slam closed, which meant only one thing: Tsunade was back and she didn't have much luck with gambling. Despite the consequences (being killed, beheaded, and slapped are included; she was worse than Sakura PMSing) I walking into the Kitchiningroom to greet her. Sasuke followed. Whatever we were expecting, what we found certainly was not included.
Tsunade was standing in the middle of the three-in-one-room, dancing a happy little jig, her two blonde ponytails at the base of her neck bouncing along in time, as was her chest. Beside her were a couple of suitcases, which I could only guess held money. I myself was shocked; Tsunade was horrible at gambling, despite how much she loved it, and always lost quite a lot of money. For her to win would be like for our high school's football team to actually get through one game without beating up the referee. Also know as impossible.
"What's in the suitcase?" Sasuke asked, interrupting my baachan in her DOJ, also know as the Dance of Joy. Very few people dared interrupt her in such a ritual as this; however, Sasuke fell into the category of very few people. Tsunade turned to face him, her chocolate colored eyes glittering in happiness and victory.
"Pack your bags, boys! We're going to an amusement park two states away for a night on Wednesday!" she announced, posing and flashing a victory sign at us. I felt like my brain was imploding.
"APOCALYPSE!" I screamed before blacking out and hitting the back of my head on the stingily-carpeted floor after collapsing.
The author-ess is trying desperately to incorporate as many things that has happened to her best friend and her (though they are nothing more than that; she just felt like adding stuff like that cuz she can). She is also quite proud of herself for making this story four thousand words as well. Well, including the author-ess' note, it is. So ha. The author-ess was watching Finding Nemo, can you tell?
What to look for in the next story: FI-YAH! Yes, fire shall be brought unto this story, and therefore the author-ess is happy. She is bielemental, did you know? She likes water and fire. AT THE SAME TIME!
Okay, so the author-ess said that she wouldn't say it again, so she won't. Instead she will just say that any movies or music mentioned in this story are not hers. Not. Hers. Got it? She would also like to mention that she absolutely loves Neji-kun, and does not write the bastardness of him to spite him. She just couldn't think of anyone else to use. So sorry, okay?
