Ow. The back of my head hurts. I wonder why. I had the weirdest dream. Tsunade baachan had actually done something right while gambling and had won enough money for her, Sasuke, and me to spend two days at an amusement park. Crazy, right?

"…that brat! I'm not that bad at gambling…"

Wow…where'd that come from?

"…yeah you are, you old hag! Why else do you think he shouted 'Apocalypse!' and passed out?! Now he probably has a concussion and it'd be all your fault!"

Hey! That sounded like Sasuke, with his suave and sexy voice. Damn, Sasuke was sexy as hell. He's too sexy for Milan…New York and Japan…He's so hot, and caring when he feels like it, I'd kill to be his boyfriend.

"…well, well, well, being possessive are we?"

I wonder what flavors of flowers Sasuke likes. I myself prefer lilacs. If we were in a relationship, I wonder who would be top. Sasuke seems a bit more emotional than me at the moment, but I guess that's because he just had his first break up. But I'm shorter, so that could make me bottom…

"…no! I'm just being the caring best-friend that worries about a friend's health when they pass out and hit their head on the floor!"

I like vanilla. Ice cream, that is. My computer's bipolar. I mean, it's all like, 'Bleh! I shall be slow and not do this, that, blah blah blah!' and then it'll be, 'Oh, I'm sorry, Naru, did I hurt your feelings? Here, let me load a page that you didn't want to go to in the first place super fast!' Gosh, it's so mean to me.

"…you forgot 'loving.' When do you think he'll wake up?"

Purple sparkly markers are fun to draw on yourself with. Sasuke once wrote 'I love Naruto' on his thigh. He wrote 'I love Neji' on his other thigh, too. He then wrote 'Eat my multicolored bubbles' on my back. It tickled.

"…I hope before midnight…"

Midnight means tomorrow. But then, when it is midnight, it would be today. Hey, day rhymes with bay, which rhymes with cay, which rhymes with way! And they all rhyme with gay! I'm gay…

"…say, did you two brats leave any pizza for me?"

Wait…I'm gay? Since when? Well, since I started to like Sasuke more than I should. And that wet dream I had of him a couple nights back also had something to do with it, too, I bet.

"…yeah, I think so. You can have some of that jalapeno and mushroom one that we didn't even touch…"

Okay, so me: gay? Me equals gay. Gay equals me. Me, a giddy gay child? Oh…

"SHIT!" I shouted, my eyes flying wide open as I sat up straight from my position on the couch, where Tsunade-baachan and Sasuke must have carried me. I winced and clutched my head when the pain caught up with me.

"Profanity!" Sasuke reprimanded me. I glared at him; because, when you totaled it all up, or something, he was the cause of the profanity. Tsunade, now that I was awake, left the room to scavenge what was left of the pizza.

"You shouldn't be talking," I said, falling onto my back on the couch. He took this opportunity to sit on my stomach. He was heavy. Much heavier than me. Which means that he would definitely top… No! Must not think such thoughts! Must not think such thoughts!

Oh, what's the use? In my state of unconsciousness I had pretty much admitted to myself that I was…attracted…to Sasuke. Sasuke, my best friend. Oh it was so wrong. But no, I was not gay. I was…Sasuke-sexual. Damn, that meant the world did Know more about me than I did!

"Hey Sasuke, are we giddy gay children?" I asked, my mind wandering.

"I dunno. By giddy gay children, do you mean happy happy children, or happy homosexual children, or high happy children, or high homosexual children?" he asked, giving me an odd look.

"The last one." I closed my eyes and leaned my head back into the cushions.

"Well, then, you're high most of the time, and I'm homosexual, so yes, I guess together we are giddy gay children." Oh, how little did Sasuke know? Well, it'd be Know, really. Apparently he Knew less than the world did, since the world Knew that I, too, was gay. No! Not gay! Sasuke-sexual. Yes, that was it.

No wonder I wasn't getting any kicks from those porn magazines with the girls. And here I thought that it was just the dry air in the health room that caused that nosebleed during the male anatomy lesson! Oh, how was naïve was I?

"Then as the self-proclaimed giddy gay children we are, we must go skipping in the parking lot," I said, pushing myself up slowly this time, and causing Sasuke to fall off my stomach and onto my legs. He gave me another odd look, but I ignored it and grasped his hand, pulling him to the door as I made my way across the room. Tsunade-baachan reemerged from the kitchen area with a plate of pizza.

"Be back before…whenever," she said, heading to her room. Darn. That meant that Sasuke and I would have to share the sardine container that was my bed. Oh well. More snuggling for me with an excuse.

"Right," I said, and opened the door, dragging Sasuke down the stairs with me. I opened the fire exit at the bottom floor and we entered the parking lot. By looking at the sun in the sky, I would say that it was sometime past ten, seeing as there was no sun to actually look at in the sky. It would have been completely impossible to see if it wasn't for the streetlamps that came on every night at seven, even though it was still bright out then.

I pulled Sasuke to the very middle of the parking lot and began skipping, linking my arm with his. After stumbling a bit at first, Sasuke finally fell into my skipping pattern, and we spent several minutes skipping around in circles in the parking lot of one apartment building, at twelve-ten, Red Moon Way, Konoha.

We soon lost our breath; it wasn't that we didn't have the stamina, it was just that we were laughing so hard we couldn't continue at that rate. I fell into the grass at the end of the parking lot, pulling Sasuke with me. Yeah, I'm childish, but I know that all of my friends love me that way. Plus, I can't really help myself.

Some odd minutes pass as we laid on our backs, staring at the sky; if I looked hard enough I could see maybe one or two of the brightest stars. If I had lived in a more rural area, I would have been able to see more. I looked over to gaze at Sasuke, who was probably bathed in the artificial light of the street lamps, his dark hair glistening, and looking even more beautiful than usual.

Instead, I found him staring at me intently. I felt the blood rise to my cheeks as I blushed hard. His black-eyed stare was trained on me, and I couldn't help but feel like he was undressing me with his eyes, but I suppose it was probably just wishful thinking.

"What?" I asked, sticking my tongue out at him. He responded with sticking his tongue out as well and I couldn't help but think of all the other things that he could be doing with his tongue. And how good it would probably feel to be at the receiving end of the tongue.

"Is staring at my best friend against the law, now?" he asked playfully, turning to his side to give me his full attention.

"Yes, and I'm fining you two thousand dollars," I retorted. He snorted, and turned back onto his back.

Eventually, Sasuke stood, and pulled me up with him.

"As fun as the last couple days have been, I have to go back to my house to get ready for the bonfire. So…thanks, Naruto," he said, and hugged me. I hugged him back, propping up my chin on his shoulder. As much as I loved the contact, I let go immediately, albeit reluctantly, when Sasuke let go.

"See you tomorrow, Naruto," he said, and began walking in the direction of his home (mansion). I gave him a dreamy smile, knowing full well that he couldn't see it, and turned to go back into the building.

When I entered my apartment, Tsunade glomped me, for lack of a better word.

"Aw, my little Naru has finally realized his sexuality!" she said, causing me to literally turn as red as a tomato going through a red paint factory with a sunburn the size of Alaska despite its size is that of a tomato.

"Shut up, you old hag!" I shouted at her, tearing myself from her arms and flinging my body into my room, and barricading the door.

"It's okay, Naruu" she said through the wood of the door separating us, drawing our my name in a completely annoying way. "I still love you and I'm sure whoever your new boyfriend is will love you too!"

"I said shut up, you lousy excuse for a guardian!" I shouted through the door, my back pressed up against it, and wondering why the hell my brain hadn't exploded from the amount of oxygen it was receiving from all the blood rushing to my face. It was bad enough that she too Knew what the rest of the world had and I hadn't, but she didn't have to shout it through the door. Oh well, at least she didn't say it to me while Sasuke was over.

I kinda wish that it wasn't Sasuke that I liked, so I could talk to him about it. But no, I had to go and fucking fall in love with my best friend. Wait, love? Since when was this love? I guess it was just always love. A friendship, brotherly love that kind of evolved into something more. On my part, at least. Man. Since when did my life get so messed up?

Since I decided I was Sasuke-sexual, that's when.

Well, that explains a lot, I guess. All the jealousy I felt toward Neji whenever he and Sasuke would go on a date, or something. And here I thought it was just because I wanted to eat at the same restaurant they were eating at, or see the same movie they were going to see. But since when did I ever feel like watching a stupid chick flick that Neji apparently wanted to see so badly? Never.

Utterly spent, what with the new discovery of my sexuality, not to mention everything else that happened today including the Neji shit and the Knowing of the Known, I dragged my sorry ass to my matchbox-bed (it was seriously that small) and climbed in, not bothering to remove my Al's Pizzeria shirt or blue jeans, even though both garments had large pizza sauce stains covering at least fifty percent of their surface area.

Soon enough, I fell asleep.

I woke up to the blaring sound of quite possibly the world's loudest and most obnoxious alarm clock in the history of forever and beyond. Yes, I hated my alarm clock that much. I can confidently say that if the US government used it as part of their interrogation and torture routine, then they would have all the enemy information they ever wanted, it was that bad.

Groggily, I began unwinding myself from the covers, which I had sadly gotten myself caught up in, probably from tossing and turning due to some dream, wet or otherwise. I glared at the alarm clock before realizing that, no, death glares could only kill inanimate objects if it was Sasuke who was the one doing the glaring. It was a proven fact. He once glared at a Weasel Ball so hard that it literally split in half when no one did anything to it, save Sasuke's Uchiha Death Glare. I slammed my hand down on the clock, effectively shutting it off as well as activating the radio feature.

"What is love? Baby, don't hurt me…don't hurt me…no more…What is love?"

Man, that song sounded old. But it had a nice tune to it. I wonder what time it is. I removed my hand from the clock and looked at it until my eyes regain their focus. It was nine thirteen. After nearly falling out of bed, I substituted the dirty clothes from yesterday with some of the newly washed clothes. I pulled on some dark blue jeans and an orange tee shirt with a red and blue peace sign on the front.

"Brat! Have you see my black cami?"

Shoot. I forgot to put it back in her dresser. I rummaged through the laundry baskets until I found the cami. Still as black and cottony as ever. I opened the door and walked down the hall and into baachan's room. When she saw the cami in my hands, she gave me an odd look. I was getting used to receiving those.

"What were you doing with it?" she asked me, removing the shirt with a built in bra from my hands.

"Laundry day," I replied, as if it were the most common thing in the world. She grinned at me.

"Well, in that case, you have it. I'm sure it looks much better on you than me. Plus, I bet you'll get a lot more boyfriends that way." That hag—!

My face did another impression of a tomato going through a red paint factory with a sunburn the size of Alaska despite its size is that of a tomato. Deciding that I was above this type of banter with my own grandma, I turned my back to her and strode through the doorway of her room with my nose turned up in distaste. Serves her right if her new anti-aging night cream doesn't work.

"Just for that, you're not going to get any great grandchildren!" I said before I could think. I usually do things like that.

"Fine with me as long as I get a grandson-in-law that's cute!" she replied giddily. And by giddily, I mean happily, not light-headedly. There is a difference. Just ask Sasuke. He's much smarter than he lets on (and he lets on that he is very smart), and knows a lot more about synonyms and antonyms and homophones and other stuff like that.

I stomped over to the door to check the mail. After unlocking the door, I opened it and checked the little mail box that was right beside the apartment's door. Flipping through the bills and other stuff that did not apply to me yet, I found something addressed to me from Sasuke. I pulled it out of the other mail and read it out loud.

"Dear Naruto,

You are cordially invited to the annual Burning of the Clothes (that Neji has touched) that will only be held this year. Please bring with you anything that you wish to dispose of that has been touched by a certain hypocritical cheating Hyuuga (not Hinata). The bonfire will be held at the Uchiha Manor, at sometime around ten in the morning. Please come sometime around then.

Your host, the Fabulous Sasuke Uchiha."

Sasuke is so full of himself. 'Fabulous'? He's so weird. But I like him like that, so I can't complain.

"Baachan, I'm gonna go over to Sasuke's for a while, do you have anything you need to burn?" I shouted in the general direction of Tsunade's room while rummaging around in the coat closet for my Skechers.

"What? Do I have anything I need to burn?" she repeated, incredulous. "Not that I can think of…"

"Alright, then, see you whenever!" I yelled to the apartment before leaving, correct cell phone, keys, and wallet all in my pocket. Lazy, I took the elevator, and began the mile-or-something walk to Sasuke's.

When I said Sasuke's house is huge, I seriously mean huge, as in, it could fit several elephants and its entry way. No lie. Bowlin'. Knowing that the Bonfire would take place in his backyard, I meandered around the house, walking casually through the gardens until the gardener forcefully shoved me off the petunias, yelling at me the whole time. As I neared the back yard, I could hear Carrie Underwood blasting out of some stereos.

"…Dug my key into the side of his pretty little supped up four wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seat. Took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all four tires…"

Wow, that girl was violent. If I ever dated her (which I never would, considering how I was Sasuke-sexual and all) I sure as hell wouldn't cheat on her. Unless it was Sasuke. Then, I sure as hell would cheat on her. That's just me and my Sasuke-sexuality for you. Huh, since when did I become so firm in my Sasuke-sexuality? And since when did I start asking myself 'since when' questions?

When I finally reached the backyard, I was startled to see a very large fire in the middle of the yard. However, I shouldn't have been: I mean, this was Sasuke, safety pyromaniac extraordinaire. But I guess what startled me more were the figures of my friends dancing around the fire, occasionally throwing in an object. I scanned the faces of my friends, who were flushed because of the heat of the roaring fire, searching for Sasuke. I finally located him, and proceeded to pull him out of the dance.

"Sasuke, what's going on?" I asked, amused at the lazy smirk that was on his face, if not scared a bit.

"The bonfire, remember?" he said, clearly very happy to be around his favorite element: the FI-YAH! He actually spells it that way in our IM conversations. In fact, that's his name: FI-YAH!lover. Mine's Rmn4lfe. We're so creative, right?

"Right, but what's with the dancing?" We both looked over to the dancing circle of friends, where someone had just tripped into someone else, causing an all-in-all hilarious domino effect.

"Lee, you overeager fool! You did that on purpose!" Sakura shouted from underneath the boy who had, for as long as anyone could remember, had a crush on her and had been begging for dates. Lee looked embarrassed and quickly removed himself from my perverted friend, holding out his hand to help her out. She gave him a small grin and grasped his hand. I don't know why she hasn't accepted his offers yet; they'd make such a good couple.

"Che…troublesome," Shikamaru commented from the sidelines, using his favorite catch phrase. Sasuke rolled his eyes and turned back to me.

"I dunno, but it makes it pretty fun. You should try it." He grabbed my forearm and dragged me over to the circle of dancing, which had started up once more. When the Carrie Underwood song began to die down, everyone took that as cue to flop down on the ground, laughing hysterically and clutching the person next to them in an attempt to regain their breath.

Once I had recaptured my lost breath, I sat up to look at who exactly was at this little bonfire (FI-YAH!) party of Sasuke's. Sakura was there, since she was basically our second best friend, plus the only friend who was both very close and a girl. Ino was there, being a friend and fellow Neji-distruster, as well as Sakura's best friend. Chouji and Lee were here as well, being from Al's Pizzeria. Hinata, even though she was the 'hypocritic and cheating Hyuuga's cousin, was at the bonfire (FI-YAH!) thing, too. Shika, being part of the group, had of course shown up, deeming this not as troublesome as other things. What surprised me, however, was seeing the Kiba that I had talked to last night.

I turned to Sasuke. "Hey, why's Kiba here? We just met him."

"Well, he was cheated on too, plus he's moved on. I mean, it's not like he'll go crying back to Neji. He shares in our distrust," he replied as if it were the most logical thing in the world. Which, once I started thinking about it harder, it was.

"Alright!" I said in my normal happy-go-lucky voice, and flopped back down onto the grass, yanking Sasuke down with me. This took him by surprise, and he gave out a little yelp. He smacked me upside my head, but it didn't hurt that bad since it was Sasuke who did it.

The 'party' continued until twelve thirty, when us who worked at Al's Pizzeria had to leave for work which began at one, as always. I told Sasuke that I'd see him later and made my way to the bus stop with the rest of my coworkers. The bust stop wasn't too far from Sasuke's mansion, and we made it just in time for our bus.

When I got on, I decided to sit next to Kiba, to ask him some questions that I really wish I could ask Sasuke, but couldn't because of a specific hormonal issue.

"Hi, Kiba!" I said, sliding into the empty space on his seat. He looked at me.

"Hi…?" he said, hesitantly. I then remembered that I had never even told the poor guy my name. How great a potential friend am I?

"Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" I asked, fidgeting slightly.

"Depends on what the question is," he replied casually, stretching out his legs and putting his hands behind his head. He gave me the impression that he was rather loud among good friends.

"Um, what was it like when you first realized you were … not attracted to girls?" I asked, looking up at him.

"You new at homosexuality?" he answered my question with one of his own, looking down at me.

"No, I've been gay for years," I replied sarcastically. "I just figured it out yesterday, and I'm confused."

"Why don't you ask your boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend, he's my best friend. And I can't ask him, because it's too awkward asking that of someone you like like that."

"Ah, don't want to ruin the relationship?" I shook my head. "I had the same issue. Me and my best friend. There's a fine line between lover and friend, you know. But nothing like a good gallon or so of alcohol and a big beg can't fix."

"You still haven't answered the question," I said dryly, my face once more taking giving the impression of a tomato…well, yeah. I was blushing hard at his suggestion of sex.

"Right. I was confused at first, and kind of angry at myself for being different from all the other guys. Shino-he's my boyfriend now-always supported me, when I doubted myself. He always sorta struck me as an asexual kind of guy, you know? But when I first noticed my romantic interest towards guys, I shrugged it off, never really took it seriously, and never really came out of the closet until Neji came into the picture. I'm kind of glad he came into my life, but not because of what he did to me. I mean, he helped me sort of come to terms with myself. Don't take me wrong, Shino didn't not help, but it took Neji asking me out to really actually deal with it. You know?"

I shook my head, and he sighed. "This is a topic that is different for everyone. There is no cement answer to your question, and one person's answer is different from the last, or the next."

I slowly nodded my head, kind of getting at what he was saying. "Thanks Kiba, I think that helped. I guess."

He smiled at me. "Well, glad I helped."

The rest of the day passed like normal, with no more customers than usual, and no pizza that actually tasted like pizza, in my opinion at least. Work ended at seven, like it usually did, and I went back to my apartment to eat a dinner of ramen, and watch TV until ten, when I went to bed. I couldn't wait until tomorrow, and the amusement park!


The author-ess huzzah's, glad because she knows that by the time the first reader reads this, she will be done with chapter five. She just works like that. And with the whole 'giddy gay children': the author-ess' best friend actually skipped in a public parking lot with her while shouting this to the world. It was fun. They decided that they were really high happy children, not the high homosexual children that Naruto and Sasuke are. So ha. And with the rambling in the beginning: the author-ess doesn't know really. She was just typing random stuff.

What to look for in the next chapter: an obnoxiously long car ride that was a bitch to write, and a party invite.

Though she loves Carrie Underwood's song, Before he Cheats, the author-ess does not own it.

"Just because I'm straight doesn't mean I can't love yaoi!" shouts the author-ess.