Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy would be on every night if it belonged to me.

I'm sorry I didn't have any updates yesterday! I just got really bad writers block. But I'm back today. And maybe with 2 updates!!! Did anybody see Patrick's E! True Hollywood Story? I don't even know what to say. Except that I'm insanely jealous of Jill.

Everything felt like it was going downhill and quickly. The second chance that Meredith thought she and Derek got had disappeared. Addison had been the one to tell her about the divorce. It shouldn't have been that way. He should have told her. After the meeting with the lawyers and finding out that the divorce was finalized he should have found her as quickly as possible and told her that there was nothing else in the way. That he wasn't married anymore and they could be together. But he hadn't. And now everything was different.

It felt like she had been punched in the stomach when Addison had told her that her name was no longer Montgomery-Shepherd but Montgomery. That's not what was supposed to happen when the divorce was done. She was supposed to have felt relieved. Excited and happy. Hopeful about the future. That wasn't Meredith. She didn't feel like faith was on her side. And just when she had changed, it came back to bite her in the ass.

And now Derek wanted to come over. He wanted to explain. Meredith was sitting in the living room with Izzie and Cristina when he called. And like an idiot, she had agreed to listen to him. And now he was knocking on the door.

"Can we talk?" Derek asked.

"I don't have anything else to say Derek."

"Well will you at least listen to me?"

"Okay."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. About the divorce. I shouldn't have let you find out from somebody else. I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"Meredith…" he pleaded.

"Why didn't you tell me Derek? You were supposed to be happy about this."

"I am. Happy about it. I am."

"Then why did I found out from Addison and not from you?"

"I just needed some time."

"You always need time Derek. Well now I'm the one who needs time. I need some time to decide if this is worth it. Because you keep hurting me. So it's my turn to take time."

"I'll be here. When you decide. Whatever you decide. I'll be here. I'll always be here. I'm sorry...for everything."

"Yeah."

"I guess…I'll see you at work."

"Yeah." She repeated.

"Bye," he whispered slowly closing the door.

Meredith watched him slowly walk down the path and drive away before heading back into the living room.

"Why was McDreamy here?" Izzie handed Meredith the popcorn bowl.

"He wanted to talk."

"He wanted to talk?" Cristina mocked.

"About why he let Montgomery tell you about the divorce?" Izzie asked.

"He says he needed time."

"Again? Isn't that what he said when she first showed up?"

"Yeah."

"So what'd you tell him?" Izzie ignored the TV.

"I told him I was the one who needed time."

"Good for you. Fight the power," Cristina added.

"I don't know what to do,"

"I threatened him today. So you don't have anything to worry about."

"Cristina," Meredith laughed.

"What?" she groaned, "He needs a good kick in the…well you know."

"He's your boss."

"Whatever. He was scared of me. You should have seen."

Meredith didn't finish watching the movie with Izzie and Cristina. Instead, she went up to her room with Doc to study for a big surgery the next day. But she didn't get any studying done. Because everytime she tried to concentrate, the only thing and the only person she could focus on was Derek. He had looked distraught when he came over. He looked truly sorry. And Meredith knew, that he was it. There was no one else to take this place. No on else to make her feel like he did. And she was going to find him and tell him.

She drove up on his land and up to the trailer to see him sitting on the deck, drinking a beer. He was staring into space and had the same look on his face that he had when he was at her house.

"I have something to tell you," she took a seat next to him.

"Meredith…"

"You say Meredith and I yell remember?"

"Yeah," he chuckled.

"I've thought about this. I've thought about this all day. You hurt me. You hurt me like I never knew I could be hurt. But…It's you, Derek. You're it. I'm scared…I'm scared as hell to want you. But here I am wanting you anyway. And fear means I have something to lose right? And I don't want to lose you."

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? I just told you that I love you and…"

"No. Not that," he laughed nervously, "I'm sorry. That I hurt you. That I've put you through all this."

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Come here," he reached for her hand, "What I've done to you. It's not fair. You deserve so much better. And I'm going to get better. I promise. It's just…"

"You were married."

"I was married…for 11 years. It's just a change. A big change I couldn't just do it without feeling. I needed some time to think about it. To process it. But I should have told you."

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't have to think about. If there was no feeling. If you had just left her."

"And you wouldn't be you if you were okay with me not telling you right away."

"Hey," she shoved him, "I can be patient."

"I don't want you to be. Especially not about this.

Meredith didn't say anything. He had said exactly what she had wanted to hear. That he was sorry. That he knew that he hurt her and shouldn't have. That he made a mistake by not telling her about the divorce in the first place. He had said it all. There wasn't anything else that she could ask for. Just for him to be with her. And to be honest from there on out.

"So are we okay?" he brushed her hair out of her face.

"We're okay..."

"But…"

"We're still taking this slow. Slower than last time at least." she told him.

"Okay" he agreed.

"That means no sex…and no sleepovers."

"No sleepovers?" Derek pouted.

"No sleepovers. We're dating. Starting over new."

"What about kissing? Is there a policy about kissing?" he whispered, his lips inches from hers.

"I think kissing is okay," she breathed.

Before she could change her mind, Derek cupped her head in his hands and kissed her. It was like a first kiss. It felt like a new beginning and another chance.

"I love you," he pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her.

"I love you too."

And I had my heart beaten down
But I always come back for more
yeah
There'snothing like love to pull you up
When you're
laying down on the floor there

I kind of hate this chapter. I mean I like it but I think my writing sucks, as usual. But maybe you don't! So let me know and review! I might have another chapter later tonight. Not sure yet though. I'm so not looking forward to Grey's tomorrow. I mean I am but I'm not because it's the last episode and who knows what's going to happen with Mer/Der/Rose. Anyways…yeah…review!!