Disclaimer: It's the same as always. JKR owns the Potterverse. I just write stories about it.
(A/N): Here is chapter three. Hopefully you'll enjoy it. Thanks again to WhiteTiger3944 for reviewing chapter two. By the way, I take credit for the DADA teacher's name because I didn't get any reader suggestions, but if you want to suggest a name for another minor character, please do so in a review. I will give you credit for the name. Enjoy the chapter!
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After Potions the boys had to split up. Well, sort of… The Marauders had all been cleared to take N.E.W.T. Defense Against the Dark Arts but Peter, who had just missed the required O.W.L score. This had successfully crushed any dream he might have cherished of possibly becoming an Auror someday, though it would be hard to find anyone who would want to be defended against the darkest and most dangerous of all wizards by the watery-eyed, sometimes trembly, squeaky-voiced-when-he-gets-excited Peter Pettigrew. However, Peter had been cleared to continue on in Divination. How that was possible was a mystery to everyone, including the Divination Professor and Peter himself.
As the other three boys were walking to Defense Against the Dark Arts, they realized something. They did not know who the new Defense teacher would be.
"Are you sure Dumbledore didn't introduce anyone at the Welcome Feast?" Remus asked.
"Pretty sure," James said.
"Well, I know a way to find out," said Sirius, striding away from them towards a group of younger Gryffindor students. "Hey you! Firsties!"
One of the girls in the group blushed and ducked behind another girl, who started giggling. One of the boys they'd been talking to puffed out his chest a little and then faced Sirius.
"We're third years!" He said proudly.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Oh well, doesn't matter," he said. "Have you had Defense Against the Dark Arts yet?"
"No," said the puff-chested boy.
"Well, thanks for nothing then," Sirius said. He then turned around and began walking off.
"But we will have it!" A girl called after him, "if you can just… wait… a little bit."
Sirius turned back around and gave the girl a wink. He could hear her and her friend giggling all the way down the corridor as he and the other two Marauders continued on their way to class.
"So, we'll just wait and see then, I suppose," said Remus.
And that is what they did. Sirius did not hassle anymore students and the boys arrived at the classroom a few minutes later.
The boys found seats and joined in the buzz of whispered voices discussing the new teacher. Their discussion didn't last long. After a few moments, a tall man with gray hair, a shiny bald spot, and very rosy cheeks walked into the room.
"Good day, class," the man said. "I am Gary Professor and I will be your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher this year."
Lily Evans put her hand up.
"Yes, Miss?" the teacher acknowledged her.
"It's Evans, sir, Lily Evans," she said. "Did you mean to say 'Professor Gary'?"
"No, Miss Evans, I spoke correctly," the teacher said. "My first name is Gary and my surname is Professor. Therefore, I am Professor Gary Professor."
There was a series of whispers and badly stifled giggles from the class.
"So we're to call you 'Professor Professor'?" James asked without raising his hand.
"That is correct," the Professor said.
There was a second wave of whispers and giggles.
"Can we call you 'Gary'?" Sirius asked, also not raising his hand.
"No," said Professor Professor.
"Why not?" Sirius asked. "It's your name."
"Well, what's your name, young man?" Professor Professor asked.
"Sirius Black, sir," Sirius answered.
"Well then, Mr. Black," the Professor said in an authoritative tone, "When you become a Professor at Hogwarts, I shall not call you 'Sirius'."
"Well, good, because he hardly ever is," said James.
"Yes, I am much more of a 'Sarcastic,' really," Sirius added.
"Well, that's quite enough out of the both of you," Professor Professor said. "Let us begin the lesson."
The lesson was a basic review of everything they'd ever learned conveniently compressed into a thirty minute lecture and a twenty-seven page reading assignment. All in all, it was very boring and very tedious. So of course, the Marauders seized the opportunity to pass some notes.
Moony: So, you had to make a name for yourselves on the first day with the new teacher, eh?
Padfoot: Well, I actually made up a name for myself.
Prongs: I think it would have been better if you'd called yourself Rico.
Moony: Why? That's not an adjective.
Padfoot: It is in Spanish. And I like it. From here on in, all shall refer to me as Rico.
Prongs: Including Gary?
Moony: You mean Professor Professor.
Padfoot: No, he means Gary.
Prongs: Yes, he does. I mean… I do. Um, what were we talking about? Oh right, Rico. Rico Black. Sounds a bit odd, come to think of it.
Moony: Perhaps you should try Rico Suave.
Padfoot: No. Gross. Thank you Moony, but no. I no longer wish to be referred to by that name. I am once again Sirius.
Prongs: But not serious?
Moony: No, never. He's more of a Sarcastic.
Padfoot: Really? I've always thought I was more of an Edward.
Prongs: Okay, I quit. I'm done.
Moony: And so is class, just about. Enjoy your break. I've got Arithmancy next.
Padfoot: Oh, Moony, always the nerd.
Prongs: Yep, our loveable, furry, little nerd. We do adore you.
Remus received the note and playfully punched the other two boys in the shoulders. Professor Professor dismissed the class and the three Marauders became two.
They became three again when they met up with Peter in the Gryffindor Common room for their free period. Once they were there, Sirius scanned the grounds through the window. He suddenly decided he needed some fresh air.
"You guys want to come?" Sirius asked the others.
"Yeah, after a bit," said James.
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After a bit…
"Hey fellas," Sirius called, waving the other two Marauders over to the stone steps where he sat. He had a Ravenclaw girl tucked under each arm. James and Peter exchanged glances and shrugs. Sirius was just being, well, Sirius.
The other three boys made their way over to the steps. Sirius then introduced his new found friends.
"Guys, this is Kate," he said, pointing to the girl with brown hair. "And this is Paula," he said, indicating the blonde girl. "They're Ravenclaw fifth years, and… sorry mate, who are you?"
Sirius and the other boys looked over at the Ravenclaw boy who had just come on the scene. He looked like he could pack a particularly nasty punch.
"The name is David," said the boy. "I'm a Ravenclaw seventh year and Paula's boyfriend!"
Sirius looked beyond scandalized. He whipped his arm away from Paula so fast that it whipped around and hit Kate in the face. David reached down and grabbed Paula's wrist, puling her up and away from Sirius. They promptly began arguing and walking away from the group. Kate was currently sobbing with pain. Her nose had swollen up and a bit of blood was trickling from her upper lip.
"Oh, bother!" Sirius exclaimed. "James, mate, what's the nose fixer-upper spell?"
James pushed past Sirius, and after scoffing very loudly, pulled out his wand and pointed it at Kate's face.
"Episkey," he said, a clear note of agitation in his voice.
Kate's nose lost all signs of swelling. She stood up and marched over to Sirius. With her arms folded over her chest, she too scoffed very loudly.
"Well, Kate, I'm very sorry about your nose," Sirius said. The irritated look was wiped from Kate's face. "How about I treat you to a coffee at Madame Puddifoot's next Hogsmeade visit?"
Obviously, the irritation had left Kate's entire body because she accepted the offer with a smile. She then ran off to join up with some Ravenclaw buddies.
Peter was thoroughly astonished by the whole ordeal.
"I don't know how you do it, Sirius," he said. "You whack a girl in the nose, and you get a date out of it. Amazing."
The boys had a laugh at this and returned to the Common Room.
Remus, meanwhile was not laughing. He was diligently taking notes in Arithmancy, for, as Padfoot and Prongs said, he was of course, a nerd.
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