(When North is talking to Jack in his workshop)

North: And at my center...

Jack: (opens the last Russian doll thing but it falls to the ground) Ah crap! (Picks it up) Got it! (Starts laughing)

(Laughter)

Director: Cut!

...

(When Jack is flying through the streets at the beginning)

Jack: (bounces off the wall and crashes into a fat lady who evidently believes in him)

Lady: (screams and pepper sprays him)

Jack: AUGHHH! (Covers eyes)

Lady: That'll teach ya ta mess with Leslie O'Neil!

Jack: AUGH, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?

Director: Cut! And someone get her off the set!

Lady: Set? What set? I don't see no set around here!

Director: I said CUT!

...

(Jack and Bunny's argument on Easter)

Bunny: We should NEVER, have trusted you!

Some random person behind Bunny: MOO

Bunny: (stands there for a second with a "what the heck" face on)

Jack: (bursts out laughing) Did someone just moo behind you!?

Bunny: I think so...

(Laughter)

Director: Cut!

...

(When Jack carries Jamie up to Pippa's window)

Pippa: Jamie, how are you doing that!?

Jamie: Jack FroOOSSSSTTTTTT! (Falls)

Jack: (has an "oh crap" expression on)

Director: I TOLD YOU TO STOP ABUSING CHILDREN! CUT!

...

(When Jack is talking to Baby Tooth in the ice trench)

Jack: Did you...did you see that!?

Baby Tooth: (shakes head)

Jack: I had a family, I had a sister! I saved her!

(The prop cliffs fall down)

Jack: (sits there with a smile on his face, trying not to laugh)

Director: Really? Again? That's it, we're using real cliffs. Cut!

...

(When Jack's walking across the wires at night)

Jack: (freezes the wire next to him)

(The poles break)

Jack: AUGHH! (Falls)

Director: What is with stuff not working today!? Cut!

...

(When North is talking to Jack in his workshop)

North: (cracking knuckles) Now we get down to tacks of brass.

Jack: (whispers) tacks of brass...(door closes)

North: (advances on Jack) Who ARE you, Jack Frost? (Accidentally knocks Jack into the door too hard and it falls, taking Jack with it)

Jack: GAH!

Director: Just kill me now...Cut!

...

(When Jack lands on the bridge in Pitch's lair)

Pitch: Maybe not. But you are afraid of something.

Jack: (lands on the bridge, but instead of just barely recovering, topples off) AUGH!

Director: So many injuries today...and they all involve Jack...sigh, cut!

...

(The first time Jack goes to the Pole)

Jack: You're all hard work, and deadlines, and I'm snowballs and fun times. I'm not a Guardian.

Bunny: That's exactly what I said!

Jack: (mimicking his accent) That's exactly what I said!

Bunny: ...what are you doing?

Jack: ...what are you doing?

Bunny: Stop. Just stop.

Jack: Stop. Just stop.

Bunny: Look mate, if you don't stop-

Jack: Look mate, if you don't stop.

Bunny: AUGH

Jack: AUGH

Bunny: (pauses) I'm an idiot.

Jack: That you are

Bunny: (tries to punch Jack in the face)

Jack: (easily dodges)

Director: Ok now that's just childish! Cut!

...

(The final battle with Pitch)

North: (jumps out of a chimney) HAAHHH! ...wrong rooOOOOOFFFFF! (Falls into another chimney on a lower roof, then ends up popping out of the chimney of the right roof and squashing Jack)

Jack: AUGHHHH! WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME!?

Random person: AHHHHHH! FLYING RUSSIANS! IT'S THE SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE!

Director: ...that made, NO sense. Cut! Someone get Jack an ambulance!


Hey, you guys asked me to injure Jack, do I did. For those of you that were wondering, yes, I'm treating this as if it actually happened and the Guardians (and Pitch, even though he's under a strict contract) are asked to make it a movie. And no, there are no stunt doubles. Also, uh, director? Jack might need more than an ambulance...oh well. Makes for more laughs!

Jack: WHY DO YOU FIND JOY IN MY PAIN!?

Becuase it's funny.

Jack: She's still holding me captive! Help! I'm in the dishwasher!

NO! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, HE'S CRAZY! ...anyway...oh, and that Leslie O'Neil person, she's PurpleKittyFangirl's OC. If you have any questions, just ask her, or ask me so I can ask her. Either way is fine!

Jack: SERIOUSLY PEOPLE! HELP!

GET BACK IN THE DISHWASHER! I mean, uh...please review and uh, never kiss a moose in September!

Jack: GUYS!

OKIGOTTAGOPUTAGUYINMYDISHWASHERBYEFORNOWSAPPHIRE316OUT!