Life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes
Slowly, I find a small bit of strength in myself to leave my small, cramped shelter so I can pursue in an interaction with the others who came here with me and those that were kind enough to let us in.
As I walk, I really notice our surroundings for the first time. I have never really been to a hardware store, my father never brought me along when I was a child, he said it "wasn't fit for young girls to be having an interest in these things."
I descend the large staircase, the first aisle I see ahead of me is the paint section, home to every type and color of paint. I walk past it, making a mental note to explore all the colors in details later, I really could use a bit of brightness in my life. The next aisle on my right is almost cleared out, it contains the remainders of boxes of small , handsized axes and pickaxes, and across from that are loppers and chainsaws but there's not even enough weapons left for one to a person. They must have been cleared out when the madness began.
I hear mumbling as I continue to walk towards the large, heavily sealed entrance of the store, indicating the others are nearby. A group consisting of Mitchell, Kitty, Brittany, Carol, Kurt, Blaine, Maribel, Santana, and Puck who holds Beth on his knee, sit in a circle of plastic, reclining chairs, the kind my mother would sun bathe on in hot weather. Even though they sit together, there is no sense of togetherness emanating from there, they're talking but they don't seem to care whether anybody is listening or not. This means that the others who are not here are on the roof of the building or at the fence, guarding the building with our guns and making sure no zombies are coming our way. We take turns but Santana always insists on filling in for me, I think this is just so she can try to kill more zombies, and nobody expects Shelby to do anything anymore. They just take pity on her.
They surround the small radio that Skylar and Mitchell had been able to contact us with in the first place, at the moment the radio is silent. I sigh before letting any of them know I'm here, it's kind of pathetic watching them huddled around such a small contraption which has been useless in regards to helping us go North. I wonder if maybe the helicopter was just way to keep people calm and now the authorities just presume they're dead anyway and won't bother to try and find us.
Something inside me tells me we need to keep moving and that we need to leave the hardware store and leave Michigan.I want to get to Canada as quickly as possible. I don't even know what we'll find there, but if that's where everybody is going surely there's something to be found. If people are living in Canada, there has to be a group of people working on a cure and I want to try to help. I know Rachel would want us to keep going. Eight days here has been long enough, if the helicopters haven't come now, I don't think they ever will.
I've heard the others talking about the small numbers of zombies that roam outside the building. I fear that as human population decreases, these zombies will adapt to the lack of food or the heat of the sun in order to survive, they could become even more vicious predators than they already are and I don't want to be hanging around when that happens. If we stay here any longer, we could miss all our opportunities to stay alive, but how can I open the others' eyes and make them realize what I have just realized? I'm sure we can make it to Canada, all we need is some more weapons and vehicles which there are a few of in the parking lot across the street.
I am sure that I want to leave this place and as soon as possible too but I don't know how easy it will be to persuade people to come with me, especially after what happened to Rachel and now that we have four new people, we can't leave them behind either.
"Quinn," Mitchell calls me over, suddenly noticing me standing behind them. "We didn't see you there."
"Hi," I mumble.
"Come sit down," he invites me. I notice that Kitty is sitting extra close to him and they're holding hands. When did this happen? Brittany points her hand towards the empty seat beside her. I hesitate for a moment before I join the circle, met by Santana's pair of unimpressed eyes. I sit upright and uncomfortably in my chair, knowing that everyone is looking at me. I haven;t even looked in a mirror in the past eight days, I have no clue how bad my hair looks or red my eyes must be from all the crying I've been doing. Usually I never care about what people think about me but if I'm going to persuade this group to leave this place, I can't look like an afraid, emotional wreck.
"How are you?" Mitchell asks.
"Fine," I answer, but not in the friendliest of tones, instantly making me feel bad. Mitchell and Skylar have gone out of their depths to welcome us, they don't deserve this hostility.
"We were just talking about what we'll do when the aircraft gets here," He tells me. I notice how Kitty is gazing up at him, swallowing every word he says. "And what we're going to all do in Canada. Kurt and Blaine are going to get a house somewhere, Brittany is going go back to school, what about you Quinn?"
I raise an eyebrow, seriously? How can they be so positive? A house, jeez. I'm sure if the rumours are correct, that life will be better in Canada bu it won't all just fall into our laps like that. "I'm going to see if I can help scientists find a cure," I answer, wondering if my wish is just as stupid and optimistic as the rest.
"So you think one can be found? To stop more people from turning?"
"And help those who already have," I answer. "I think it's possible."
"Well that's very noble of you Quinn," He says, although I can tell he doubts its likelihood. "Well as I was saying to the others, there's a hoard of zombies heading this way, not to worry you or anything, we had one, not this big but a hoard all the same, some weeks back and they just passed by but we will be doing a blackout when they do come and we must make sure that everybody stays quiet."
"A hoard?" I ask. "Of how many?"
"Maybe a hundred or so, " He answers. "But we're completely safe here."
I bite my lip. A hundred? That's just another reason for us to get out of here. We'll need as many weapons as possible though.
I see Skylar in the aisles across the floor, I should talk to her. "Excuse me," I say abruptly, as I stand up and leave the circle.
"Skylar," I call as I approach the short brunette in an aisle of hammers , nails and other small tools.
"Oh hey Quinn, what's up?" She smiles.
"Skylar, is there a back room here with more supplies?"
"Sure there is," she replies with a questioning expression.
"Can you take me there?"
She nods and leads me to a large metal door, she crouches down to grab the end of the door and pulls it up. The room inside is pitch black until we step inside and Skylar reaches for the light switch on the wall. The room illuminates, revealing boxes upon boxes of miscellaneous equipment on shelves or on the floor.
"What are you looking for?" She asks curiously.
"Chainsaws, axes, anything like that," I reply, already having begun to walk around and inspect the place. Skylar hasn't even moved out of place when i find a shelf with a box full of axes and hammers and some chainsaws just down from that.
I begin to count them, there must be at east two weapons per person here, as well as the guns and knives we have already. "You want to leave," Skylar says, suddenly catching my full attention. She wears a hurt expression on her face.
"Skylar, I-" I begin to stumble.
"It's because of the helicopters isn't it?" She asks. "Look Quinn I'm sorry, we thought they'd be here by now."
"I'm sorry Skylar, I just have to keep going and get to Canada, and I want to bring everyone with me," I explain.
She shakes her head. "I can't believe this, Quinn what have we done wrong? This place is safe, I'm not sure I want to leave it. And frankly I don't think Mitchell, Jack or Amber will either."
I can hear the anger building in her voice, "Look maybe we can just talk to everybody," I say. "We can't stay here forever."
She sighs but doesn't say a word as she leads me back out of the room and towards the front door. "Everybody get to the front door," she yells loud enough for everybody outside to hear. "We need to talk."
I slowly walk behind her to the circle of plastic chairs, I can tell from behind that she's wearing a pissed expression on her face. Behind me, I see the others climbing down from the high windows which are the only way in and out of this building, each of them looking confused.
"Woah sis," Mitchell says, standing up as Skylar walks towards him, "What's wrong with you?" Jack, Amber, Russel, Marley and Jake come in behind us.
"Quinn can tell you," She says coldly, everybody's gazes become fixed on me.
"Quinn?" Blaine asks with a worried expression.
"I want to leave," I spit out, "I think we need to get out of here and keep going North."
There is a moment of awkward silence and confused glances until Santana s the first to respond. "You're fucking kidding me right?"
I swallow and shake my head. "Look there's no sign of any helicopter, i know we've only been here eight days but Skylar and Mitchell have been here much longer than that and if we stay here much longer, maybe we'll miss our chance to cross the border, maybe the world outside will get even worse. There's zombies outside every night and now you say there's a hoard on its way. We can't be safe here much longer."
"This building is just fine!" Skylar protests. "We've survived hoards before, they haven't touched us."
"Yes but Mitchell said this one is bigger, and now that there are more of us, they might be able to smell us," I say. "We shouldn't wait around and take the risk. Look we have weapons and there's more in the back room, if we travel together we'll be safe."
"Have you just forgotten what happened?" Santana shouts. "Your girlfriend was killed by a zombie, by going out there we're completely exposing ourselves to them! Does that not matter to you anymore?"
"Look guys, please I don;t think it's safe here much longer, with the amount of us that there is, we'll run out of food soon. Look if the hoard do surround the building there's a very small chance that you'll be able to escape."
"Then leave," Amber hisses from behind, "But we're not leaving with you."
"Who wants to stay and who wants to go?" Mitchell asks impatiently. I frown, I never wanted a division but it doesn't seem like this is up for negotiation.
"We're not going anywhere," Jack says.
"I'm staying," Skylar says. "I don't want there to be a split but Quinn if you don't think this place is safe enough then there's nothing we can do."
"If my sister is then I sure as hell am staying too," Mitchell announces. I watch Kitty, who hasn't left his side, looking up at him anxiously.
"I'm staying," she announces, this time I feel hurt. This is one of my own group, she's followed me before but now I've lost her.
"I'm coming,"Brittany whispers, she slowly walks over to my side.
"Brittany?" Santana asks.
"I'm scared Santana," She replies. "I don't want to wait and see if theose zombies are going to kill me or not."
"Then we're coming too," Blaine says, although Kurt isn't so convinced. "We're not letting you two go."
"Well I'm staying with Kurt, " Carol shrugs.
"Puck?" Blaine asks, I can see this going badly. Puck is going to chose Beth over anything else. I watch him look down at the little blonde girl on his knee.
"Take her Puck," A voice whispers from behind, I look over my shoulder to see Shelby although I have no idea how long she's been standing there.
"Shelby?" He questions.
"Puck, I know you want to go and I want you to bring Beth with you," She says.
"But what about you?"
"I don't have the strength to go any further, I can't take care of my own daughter how can I take care of Beth, I know how much she means to you Puck and I know that you will always put her first so I know you can get her to wherever you're going safely."
"Shelby," I whisper. "No, you have to come with us."
"Please Quinn, I can't, but I know that Rachel would want you to keep going, regardless of what decision I make, I want you to be safe and I know you will be of you leave, I want Beth to be safe, with her real parents, I don't know what will happen to us here but I need you to promise you'll take care of yourselves," She whispers weakly. I shake my head, is she really asking this of me? To become Beth's mother again, this isn't right, I don't want to leave her behind.
"It's ok," she smiles, "Quinn please, just go!"
"Jake?" Puck whispers half heartedly to his brother.
Jake looks down at his girlfriend, it seems they already have their mind made up. "We're staying here, with Kitty."
Everytime I hear that answer, it feels like I'm being stabbed. I'm losing people and even though I didn't really care about them before now, I don't want them to die.
"Russel?" I sigh.
"I'm not going anywhere further with you," he spits. "You were such a disappointment Lucy, why couldn't you be more like your sister?"
I ignore him, hurt by his words all the same and turn back to Santana. Maribel wears a terrified look on her face, I feel as if she wants to come but she will stay with her daughter, whatever her decision is.
Santana groans loudly. she stands up angrily and throws her chair to the side. "Fine," she hisses. "I'm coming, but I swear Quinn, if another person dies, I'm done."
I release a breath of relief, I know Santana wants to follow Brittany. I look around at our divided group, we're suddenly down to nine people.
"You can take some weapons," Skylar says, "but only whatever is left on the shelves, not in the backroom."
"Thank you, "I smile at her appreciativley.
"Seriously Skylar?" Jack asks.
"Look I can't let them die, anyway we've more than enough weapons," Skylar sighs. "But once you guys leave, we're not letting you back in. Good luck, I hope you find whatever it is you're searching for."
"Fine," I sigh glancing over at Shelby, she's the only one I will really regret leaving behind. I'm still angry at the kids for abandoning us back at the border, and as for my dad, he doesn't even feel like family anymore. "Thank you."
"Wait what about us?" Jake asks. "Do we get guns?"
"You can have one," Puck says, placing it in Shelby's hand. "We need the rest, but you have plenty of weapons here anyway."
"Come on," I say, "We need to go before it gets dark."
After we have gathered the small tools left on the shelves as well as our belongings, we have to leave. They wait for me to lead the way up the tall ladders than lead to the high windows. As I climb , I look back down at Shelby, the only one who has come to see us leave.
"Mama!" Beth cries from below me.
"It's okay baby girl, you'll see me again, you're just going on a trip with Puck," Shelby says to her. "I love you so much Beth."
I can hear tears in her voice and I'm trying to stop my own from falling. My heart is aching leaving her behind, but that's her decision and I will respect that, at least they will be safe for a few days, maybe they will even have the sense to escape before the hoard hits. I know Rachel wanted us all to leave together, but I can't force anybody to come with me. Now I just have to ensure that the other eight people travelling with me are always safe as we continue to move forward.
Okay, I'm sorry for the long gaps between updates but please bear with this story until the next chapter, something will be revealed.
