A/N: Sorry about lateness, as usual, but Reddy's memoirs are taking the back seat in the proverbial car of schedules due to both me rediscovering my dark writing side and me having to do huge amounts of essays on the British political reforms of the 1800-1900s (incredibly complicated stuff like free healthcare, which you haven't invented in 'Murica yet, oh lol I'm so hilariously borderline racist).
If anyone's interested, the proverbial car of schedules is arranged something like this: political essays in the front seat, Red Ribbon in the middle, RTJ in the back, Fear Me shoved in the boot (that's the "trunk" to all you non-Britishers) and Windolene & Swarfega is taped to the back window. Sleepless is on a bicycle about three miles back, along with RIPSOA.
Enjoy the fact I worked out how to sort of write Chalant again.
I am seeing someone about my Aerosmith addiction, yes.
(that bit about Inception music is dead on the money, bee tee dubs)
I am totally out of ideas now, so taking requests! Request things for the team to do and Reddy to overanalyze. Now! With feeling!
Red Tornado's Journal: September 30th
Robin and Kid Flash have concluded, through rigorous testing, that the theme from the motion picture "Inception", when played while anything under the sun happens in slow motion, makes the activity seem incredibly emotional and dramatic.
The level of testing they were prepared to do was quite impressive; Robin checked his electronic mail in exaggerated slowness to the song, and then he recorded an argument between Kid Flash and Artemis, pasted the song over it and watched it.
Apparently it made Zatanna and Miss Martian cry for thirty minutes because (and I quote from an audio recording I made) "It is so obvious that he totally loves her and she just needs to stop being so defensive and let him in!"
This must be some human emotional gimmick I am unfamiliar with.
Red Tornado's Journal: October 1st
Vandal Savage launched a nuclear missile from a base in Arizona. Batman, Robin and the double-agent Catwoman infiltrated the area just as the missile was fired. Batman disabled it and deactivated the warhead.
The way in which he did it was rather dramatic. He leapt from the gantry onto this flying missile and slowly climbed up the rocket, removing strangely consistently placed circuitry before the fuel burned out and the missile fell to earth to be destroyed over Texas.
Robin, ever the ingenious "wingman", decided the time would be right to play a song by a band named "Aerosmith" called "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" as Batman climbed up the missile.
His only comment afterwards was "I totally have a new adoptive mother."
Red Tornado's Journal: October 2nd
The Texan Anti-Superhuman Coalition have complained to the League for dropping an unexploded nuclear device on Austin. The League responded that it was either that or "nuke D.C and make Uncle Sam's hat a little crispy" (Flash's words, not mine) and the Texan Anti-Superhuman Coalition was very quiet after that.
I am honoured to be working with such talented diplomats.
Red Tornado's Journal: October 3rd
5J were set a homework assignment, and here is Robin's effort:
What I Would Do If I Was Batman
by Richard Grayson
Punch Superman in the face and marry Catwoman. Then maybe brood for a bit. Eat some nachos. Drink some distilled cow organs to stay awake. Brood some more. Fight crime WITH MY MIND. Get Robin to do everything because, although he is basically a demigod and my son, I don't want to acknowledge his right to be called "Nightwing" and run a team of superheroes from a warehouse in Blüdhaven. Brood. Buy a jet with a bathroom in it. Punch Superman again. Make Red Tornado get a job as a schoolteacher. Brood.
Sing "Am I Blue?" in order to make goddesses cry. Calibrate my cowl to only play the theme from "Inception" while punching Superman in the face in slow motion. Punch Superman in the face.
THE END
I have given him a C–, for Batman does not eat Nachos.
Red Tornado's Journal: October 4th
Have been growing increasingly uneasy due to the ever-oncoming Hallowe'en festivities and being aware of Robin and Zatanna's penchant for unbridled chaos and anarchy on a grand scale.
Had them swallow trackers hidden in a bread roll so I will always be aware of their movements and prepared for an ambush.
Red Tornado's Journal: October 5th
Decided to research myself on the internet, to analyse my own personal glory compared to the other Leaguers. Discovered a site, designated "Fan Fiction dot Net" which has a multitude of human works on the subject of both the team and the League, but have yet to discover more than one in which I am the main focus.
This must change, as I refuse to be less popular than the pairing called "Sea Arrow."
Red Tornado's Journal: October 6th
Further research on this "fanfiction" has showed a remarkably high demographic of predicted Chalant romance.
This gives me an idea. If I could speed up the Chalant romantic process, I would glean much useful information on human emotional states. Especially "love" which I have the least amount of data on.
I believe I have a new..."Project"...
MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
