" ... " ( Relius , you have quite a lot of questions today! Please hurry. )
Ignis floated in front of Relius. Relius sat in his astral finish chair reading a novel.
"I thought that we got cancled..hmm... "
He rubbed his chin and slowly got out of his chair. As soon as he did- there was a knock at the door.
" RELIUUUUUUSSSS! Hurry the hell up! You're not the only one who got questions this time y'know! "
Hazama banged on his door.. until Ignis' claw ripped through the door like it was nothing.
" Have you no patience Hazama? " Relius finally ansewered him.
" Uh.. Yeah! Now let's answer those questions! " Hazama walked pass the pile of wood- formally known as Relius' door.
" Very well, take a seat. " The older man gestured Hazama to a near by couch. " Ignis! " Relius snapped and Ignis brought his laptop to him.
" Have you ever met a man named colonel Guile ? He is like you, a Colonel..and a family man..and voiced by travis willingham. " - [THIS IS TOTALLY NOT TWISTER THE FOX SO DO NOT REPORT ME]
" Sorry twister, legal issues. " Hazama shrugged.
" Colonel Guile.. ? Does he wear a dog tag? tall flattop haircut?Scared of bears? " Relius described him. " No, I've never met him. Next question. " He quickly changed the subject.
" do you realize the reason people don't think you're awesome is because you say one sentence to some one then walk away talking to yourself? Hi terumi your my favourite character! " - vergil 666
" Oh! A fan~! Hello there! " Hazama waved. " So far vergil, you're my favourite." He gave a charming smile.
" Why are you in the 'Hazama' persona? were'nt you in Terumi mode in the previous cha- "
" Shut up! Okay?! Asking me that is like asking Walter White if he makes crystal meth! " Hazama glared at Relius.
" I do not understand how that's like this.. " He frowned.
" Whatever! My fans will like me weather I'm in Terumi, Hazama, and even that horrid uke-vessel.. Kazuma. " He shivered at the thought.
" Let's not talk about that.. " Relius chose another question.
" Why are you such a bitch towards your son ? " - Orange tabby 101
Relius furrowed his brows. " Are you refering to my actions and behaviour towards him? "
" I'm actually pretty curious about that too.. " Hazama leaned in closer to Relius.
" Tabby? Do you have a nusiance that is CONSTANTLY annoying you? If so, then I am certain that you can easily understand. Carl pesters me to no ends. It is quite pointless. "
" Wooow Relius " Hazama said sarcasticly said. " What a GREAT answer! Now it's my turn! " He quickly chose an awaiting question.
" This is for Hazama. Is it fun being named the king of trolls? " - Orangetabby 101
" Is it fun being named king of trolls? OF COURSE! " Hazama opened his eyes slightly and grinned. " I have the best reputation! People who don't even play the game know who I am- and what I do! "
Hazama giggled like an anime school girl.
"... " (maybe we should move to the next question. ) Ignis gave Relius a blank stare.
" Quite. " Relius clicked on the next question.
" Dear Relius, you and Ignis make a great pair! How did you two meet? " - Guest
" Ohhh! This just got REAL! " Hazama stopped his giggling and quickly became serious.
" How we met..? " Relius inhaled and tensed a little.
Ignis gave Relius that creepy blank stare.
" ... "
"It was quite some time ago..when we met..that I cannot recall. "
"Boo! " Hazama shouted. " That's not a real answer! We wanna know HOW! "
" ... " ( well.. uh.. ) Ignis shifted uncomfortably as she began to answer the question. " ... " ( Relius was a very handsome man,and intelligent for his young age- )
" IGNIS! "
Relius snapped and the puppet dissapeared.
" Are you shitting me right now?! You didn't even-"
"Can you get Ignis to punch Hazama in the face for me? " - Orangetabby 101
Relius read the next question before Hazama could finish his complaint. " Heh heh.. Now here's one I like.. " The older man grinned and chuckled.
" Ignis! " Relius snapped and the pink robot appeared once again.
" N-No! What?! Relius! Buddy! You don't have to ACTUALLY listen to them! " Hazama frowned and began to plead with Relius. He put his hands up in surrender.
" VOL TEDO! " Relius shouted and Ignis trapped Hazama, then struck him with a powerful blow.
" guahwhaah! " Terumi fell to the ground and a pool of blood began to surround him.
" Now that THAT'S over... " Clover turned his attentioned back to the questions.
" Ignis, do you like being a pink robot ? " - Orange tabby 101
" It looks like it's another question for you Ignis.. " Relius looked at Ignis.
" ... " ( Oh.. uh.. I don't really mind being in this form.. There are just some things I miss.. )
" ... She... She misses.. screwing with..R..Relius.. " Hazama choked out. " Silence Hazama. " The blonde man gave Hazama a quick kick to his side.
" ... " ( I don't favour this form... but at least I'm with Relius. So that's all that matters. )
Relius raised an eyebrow then quickly looked for another question to answer.
" Do you ever take off ur mask? Has anyone seen you without it? " - Guest
" Yes, I do remove it occasionally. I take it off to cleanse and wash my face. I don't recall anyone seeing me without it.. But I may be wrong. " Relius rubbed his chin and sat down.
" Here's one, why are you such a dick Relius? (Seriously.) " -Agato Wesker- The Black Fox
" That's rather rude.. but I have heard much worse out of Carl. " Relius crossed his legs. " I do not see myself as- "
" Relius you dick ! " Hazama cut him off.
" What the hell ?! You do things because THEY want you to?! " Hazama stood on unsteady legs.
" Only if they're reasonable of course.. "
" YOU ARE A DICK... SERIOUSLY. "
" Well, since you're already here.. do you mind answering this question? " Relius tapped his fingers against his knee.
" I fucking hope the next question asks me to piss in your coffee.. "
Hazama muttered under his breath.
" About prank calling Ragna, can you give me his number ? " - orange tabby 101
" You shitting me right now ? First you ask for me to get punched- now you want something from me ?! " Hazama scowled.
" ... " ( be nice Terumi! ) Ignis 'said'
the younger man loosened his tie and shook his head. " Alright- get your pen out.. It's - "
" CAPTIAN HAZAMA! " Jin suddenly ice car-ed through the wall and right into Hazama.
" AGGH! What the hell?! "
" Can I have R-R-Ragna's number ?! " Jin breathed heavily as he took a sharpie and a Ragna plushie from under his shirt.
Hazama's eyes shot open and inched away from the major. " Uhh.. sure? " He took his phone out from his jacket and went to his contacts.
" Oh... I deleted it. " Hazama frowned.
Jin glared at him and kneed him in the groin. He stomped out without another word.
" urururrururu... " Hazama groaned and fell to his knees.
" ... " ( do you not realize that you can fight back ? ) Ignis cocked her head.
" It goes against his contract with the author. " Relius gave a small smile. " I must admit...this could have gone better." He clasped Ignis' claw.
" ... " ( thanks again for sending questions! ) Ignis said.
" Goodnight Night Vale... good night " Hazama suddenly recovered and twirled his hat on his finger.
" Wrong show hazama. "
