Chapter 6: Pointless filler; "THE MAD MEN"

This has nothing to do with the actual fanfic. It can be skipped and completly ignored.

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"We have to take down that bastard!" A man in full body armor shouted to his team as they ran into the battlefield.

"Uhh,I have a question." One of the men in pink Halo spartan armor raised his hand.

The leader of the men sighed and stopped running. "What Butler?!"

"I kinda forgot my gun..an' I think I left my dog in the air-ship-thing."

The leader helmet palmed. "Uck! Fine! Here, take my gun and go check on your freaking dog. I'll use my plasma can-"

Before he could finish his sentence a barrage of bullets shot through his armor.

The army of men shouted and charged toward the war up ahead.

"..." The butler slid away from the scene.

5 minutes later..

"Yeah, turns out- I don't even have a dog!" ButlerHazama laughed and waved the gun around carelessly.

He looked around for his teammates.

"Ah..." All of his teammates were dead on the battlefield.

"Oh, haaaaayyy! All of the alien thingys 'r dead too! Good job Butler." The author gave himself a pat on the back.

He carefully crossed over the bodies of humans and Brutes. "Let's see if there's any ammo left.." The author whistled and looked around.

"Target spotted..Approaching now.."

As the butler removed his helmet (for fresh air) Another man in Spartan armor caught the author in a chokehold.
"Uggggrshsshshshfff!" ButlerHazama made guttural noises as his air supply was cut.
"INTRODUCE YOURSELF!" The other man in The Dark Blue primary and crimson red secondary Armor yelled.

"You see I don't trust you covenant scum! Better talk fast before I start gutting."

The Butler tapped on his arm for release. The man in Blue and Red loosened his grip and pointed a pistol at the other.

The author turned to get a look at the man's face-but was greeted with a tinted black visor...so he took the time to check himself out in the reflection.
"Helllllloooo~! Lookin' as classy as ever!"ButlerHazama talked to himself as he slicked back his brown hair.

The other man back hand slapped him. "Are you on the meds?! Answer my question!"

Butlerhazama sighed and reluctantly answered. "My tag is H666. They told me I can't have that tag- but here we are! I'm not an' Elite-obviously! Those guys scare me!I'm apart of the UNSC..Sorry if I get the letters mixed up, I'm not good with memorizin' things like that..Oh, an' th' name's ButlerHazama. Call me Butler,yeah? Since we're friends an' all that now..." The author extended his arm in a handshake.

The man with the tinted visor looked at the extended hand to him..and glared at the Butler. ButlerHazama smiled with crooked teeth.
"We are not friends! I don't trust you...You seem...off. Tell me kid.. have you ever"

ButlerHazama had a clueless look on his face. "All right-I get that alot. What about you? What's your name?" He asked-arm still extended.

The other spartan put his gun away and began to introduce himself.
"I am Rogue Black Knight. Leader of the Elite spartan group known as the Galactic knights. I am the calm before the storm, the raging typhoon, the cold dark void, the...

"Buddy not to cut you short but we kinda need to speed things up a bit?" ButlerHazama pointed to his watch.

"Oh... Well I like jazz, talking with Green knight and Silver knight, and have been through more crap than you could possibly imagine. Rogue explained as he unwrapped his hand from butlerhazama's throat.

"What kind of crap?" Butlerhazama questioned as he began to examine himself in black knight's visor again.

"Elites,xenomorphs, terminators, sith lords, demons, enchantresses..." Rogue was cut off.

"Enchantresses sounds sexy!" Butler began to fantasize about scantly clad women with squirrel tails, revolvers, and panda bears.

" If you find elite women that do extremely...DIRTY things to you sexy after they have you in mind control, then yes... Very sexy." Rogue Black knight cringed at the bad memories.
"Oh..." Butlerhazama sighed.

After the intoroduction, he finally shook hands with the butler.
"Nice ta' meet ya then." ButlerHazama yawned.
"... Guess he's not that bad..." Black Knight pursed his lips in a straight line.

"We are gonna be the best of friends..SELFIE!"
Before Black Knight could refuse- or break away from the author's sudden grasp, ButlerHazama's cell phone appeared and snapped a picture of the two.

"hehehe,this is totally going on my wall!"

After a minute or two of arguing about the picture, duo began to walk to a nearby Mcdonald's

" -And that's when I found out that I should'nt sniff paint thinners before a mission." ButlerHazama ended his pointless story.

"Shut up! Look there!" The Black Knight abruptly stopped and crouched down.

"Whaddaya see?" Black knight used his scope to get a better look.

"It..looks like..a fellow spartan..?"

"IT'S A GUUURL!" ButlerHazama threw his helmet in Black Knight's face and sprinted toward her.

"YOU IDIOT!" The Black Knight shook his fist and stayed behind

"Girls girls GIRLS!" ButlerHazama chanted the Motley Crue song as he ran toward the female.

"WHOA!" She turned around to see the idiot screaming. The girl in_ headbutted him in the nose and jumped back.

The butler fell back a few steps and held his bleeding nose. "YOU HEADBUTTED ME WITH YOUR FREAKING HELMET ON!..OW!" blood leaked from his nose and dripped down his hand.

"Ah..? Is...is it really you?" The girl walked closer to him.

"D-Don't even come any closer!" He put his hand out in defense.

"B-BLACK KNIGHT! BLACK KNIGHT!"ButlerHazama cried out for the other.

"You...You..!" The Black Knight took deep breaths of air into his lungs. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Don't you know never run into battle unprepared!" He was about to punch him-but took notice of ButlerHazama's bloodied hands.

"..You lost to a girl...wow." He shook his head.

The butler quickly defended himself. " Not just any girl! She has training!"

" And how do you know that?" The Black Knight crossed his arms-holding Butlerhazama's helmet (the one that was thrown at him)

"Because he always skipped his training!" The girl chimed in.

"Introduce yourself!" Black Knight yelled at the girl.

"The name is Orangetabby, I'm his (fanfiction) sister!" She pointed at Butlerhazama-who was wiping his blood off on his armor.

"..." The black knight sighed and looked at the two.

'there's no resemblence what so ever..but maybe...' His thoughts were interrupted by their arguing.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU NOT RECOGNIZE ME?! I had my helmet off and everything!" The butler stomped his foot like a child.

"And like you're any better! Do you ALWAYS chase women you see from miles away?!"

'Yeah, it looks like they're related..in a way.' The Black Knight shook his head.

"Tch, let's just go blackie." The butler pulled his friend away from his ff sister.

"Don't call me-"

"OH! Where are you guys going? Can I tag along?!" She jumped like an excited puppy.

"Mcdonalds- we're tryin' to get there before th' drink special is over"

"Can I gooooo? Pleeeease?!" Orangetabby pleaded.

"Mmm..fine- just don't ruin the bro-vibe we have goin' on here."

12 minutes into the walk..

"Krusty Crab pizza-"

"Stop"

"Is the pizza-"

"Seriously-STOP."

"For you and-"

"IF YOU DON'T STOP I'M GONNA SHOVE A ENERGY SWORD UP YOUR ASS!" The Black Knight pulled out his energy sword and grabbed ButlerHazama by the collar.

ButlerHazama shrugged and continued to walk through Sierra 117.

"Do you think Cortana is hawt? Or am I alone on this thing?"

"What?"

"Just a question man!" ButlerHazama put his hands up in surrender

"Hell no Cortana is a goddamn computer...My woman is no longer with me." The Black Knight sighed

"You hve a woman? Can I be the best man at the wedding? I'm your best friend,remember?!" ButlerHazama yelled.

"This, I want to know!" Orangetabby joined in.

"Look, I don't want to talk about...Alice.." Black Knight couldn't finish

"Alice sounds like a cute name." Orangetabby gigled. "I'll be the pastor at the wedding!"

"I don't think that's..."

"BLACK KNIGHT AN' ALICE SITTIN' IN A TREE! K.I- AGGGHH!" Butlerhazama was put into a choke hold by black knight

"Say another word and I'll throw you butt naked covered in barbeque sauce, with five jackals" Rogue Black Knight threatened.

"Was just jokin' man!" The butler put his hands up defendingly.

"Okay, I'm getting a strong sense of bromance here" Orangetabby signaled to the butler and the knight.

"ABSOLUTLEY NOT!"

"POPPY COCK!"

They both said at the same moment.

She smiled and pulled out her notepad. "Note to self..write some fluffy fics about them later~!" She whispered to herself.

Rogue black Knight turned and frowned in distaste.

"Did anybody notice..the sky got really freaking dark." Orangetabby pointed at the sky.

The trio stopped and looked up.

The Rogue Black Knight scaned the sky. "Get down-NOW!" He yanked Butlerhazama by the collar.

"What is it?!" Orangetabby pulled out her sniper rifle and looked through the scope.

"It's an infestation"


author's note: this took longer than expected..I got distracted with the steam summer sale, I bought Outlast and Transistor :D Outlast is scary as hell and transistor is freaking amazing. Everybody thank THE ROGUE BLACK KNIGHT because he did most of the work and made this into ART! If you're a scifi fan I highly recomend you read some of his stories. I'm in the mists of Reading Adventures of the Noble Six (and still havent finished reading) and it's very amazing! Thanks Black Knight for putting up with my shit.