A/N: So hai.
This chapter is pretty much the child of Mountain Dew, Cheetos, and 8th grade health class at 8:45 in the morning five days a week. And it kind of shows.
I hope you enjoy!
A/A/N: Right, approximately 2% of this is mine, and mainly just references. Woop for author input.
Red Tornado's Journal: December 2nd
Superman has returned to consciousness, and is understandably distressed at his current physical state, most specifically being female. Martian Manhunter and Dr. Fate assure him that he will be cured quickly. Then accidentally turned him into a Martian.
Superboy is visibly distressed whenever someone mentions Superman's situation, and always quickly removes himself. Miss Martian seems saddened by this.
Robin assisted Zatanna all day at school, and was extremely protective whenever another male would attempt to approach her. This is progressing faster than I originally anticipated.
Artemis and Kid Flash are no longer speaking to each other. I overheard the argument between the two of them. I do not understand why Artemis called Kid Flash an "ignorant, idiotic, overprotective, possessive bastard".
His parents were married when they conceived him.
Red Tornado's Journal: December 3rd
Miss Martian is already planning for Christmas, The nuclear fallout shelter should be completed to a satisfactory degree by that point in time to hide long enough to avoid helping in the kitchen again. Note to self: stock ABBA CD's in fallout shelter.
Robin and Zatanna have found out that Zatanna's "accident" was planned. They have already begun plotting retaliation. I will increase construction speed on the fallout shelter when possible.
Batman's strange good mood persists. There have been eighteen more sightings of Catwoman in Gotham, including two in the woods around Wayne Manor. Batman is oddly unconcerned, and the entire League is following his lead. As they always do.
Red Tornado's Journal: December 4th
Approximately twelve pounds of dry elephant tranquillizers have arrived at the Cave, addressed to Robin. The only member of the Team who would require that amount would be Kid Flash. This will not end well.
Zatanna has been seen studying books on appearance-changing spells. I do not like where this is going.
Calling in Doctor Fate's favour in order to make myself impervious to magic.
Red Tornado's Journal: December 5th
Superboy has broken every punching bag in the Cave, including Artemis' personal punching bag. Not even in her worst fight with Kid Flash have I seen her so angry. I have additionally never heard her curse someone so creatively in Vietnamese, either.
Miss Martian has taken to being extremely kind to Superboy. She attempts to bake him treats, and has made all of his favourite meals.
Vital scans show that Superboy's heart beats 7.86% faster, and his voice is 2.59% lower whenever Miss Martian is around.
How curious.
Red Tornado's Journal: December 6th
It snowed overnight, and the Zeta tubes are down for maintenance, thus trapping the Team in the Cave. Black Canary, who was in the Cave and is thus now trapped with us, is planning activities to keep everyone occupied.
Predicted outcome: abject failure.
I have been introduced to "flashlight tag", "catch-a-Robin", and "GOOD GOD WALLY SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I SHOOT YOU" (a favourite, introduced by Artemis).
The Team has announced that they will be choosing the games tomorrow. Hiding.
Red Tornado's Journal: December 7th
I have been introduced to three more emotions by Artemis:
Fury: Will you all SHUT UP?!
Desperation: Will you all please shut up?
Submission: Ugh, fine, you win. I'll go and cut Wally down.
The game "hangman" has been banned from the Cave "until the end of time" by Black Canary, following the incident involving Robin, Artemis, and Robin's "How To Perform an Inverted Takedown" book.
I now know how to play Green Arrow Poker (played with Uno cards and a blend of caffeine and adrenaline), throw darts, and dance a traditional Martian dance.
The game "spin the bottle" was also forbidden by Black Canary, as soon as it was brought up. I do not understand how observing a rotating glass cylindrical container could be entertaining, anyway.
Red Tornado's Journal: December 8th
Superman has been returned to his previous Kryptonian status, though still has a slight green pallor to his skin. Dr. Fate assures him it will fade quickly. Superboy seemed encouraged by this news. Miss Martian was oddly distressed by Superman's recovery.
Zatanna has found a healing spell, and now no longer requires crutches, though still requires a brace to assist her when walking. Robin insists on remaining her caretaker. After quite literally the minimum amount of protestation humanly possible, Zatanna agreed.
No comment from Batman other than Plasticman being mailed from Gotham to the Watchtower with a note reading: "STAY. OUT. REMIND ME, CLARK, WHO PAID FOR THE WATCHTOWER AGAIN?"
How erudite.
