A/N: Tom here. This is the most procrastinated piece of writing on the planet. Heh.
I am the best co-writer ever.
Red Tornado's Journal: December 9th
Robin and Zatanna are building a miniature mediaeval siege weapon. There is no outcome in which the use of this "catapult" has favourable results for the Team.
Artemis and Kid Flash remain estranged. The Cave has been relatively peaceful; no priority missions have been issued lately.
Superboy constantly switches between being social and being antisocial. Miss Martian has repeatedly attempted to ascertain the logic behind this, however has made no progress thus far.
Fallout shelter is approximately 51.3% complete. Commencing radiation shielding installation.
Red Tornado's Journal: December 10th
Aqualad has shocked the Team (and myself) by *play audio file 0112405Z* "Ohmygodohmygoddidyouhear'Mis?KaldurliketotallyaskedRaqueloutohmygodthisissoadorable." as Zatanna puts it, which roughly translates to "Aqualad asked Rocket on a 'Date.'" This is good for some reason. Why Aqualad would offer a piece of a calender to Rocket is as yet unclear.
Kid Flash attempted to apologise to Artemis (on orders from Robin, no doubt, who has many plots in motion at this time) and was shot in the chest with a taser arrow at a range of precisely twelve centimetres. Artemis advised him (recording enclosed), while spasming on the floor, to "[transmission garbled] apologise to that, you [transmission garbled], pig-headed, [transmission garbled], moron of a [transmission censored]."
I am not convinced she has accepted Kid Flash's apology.
Red Tornado's Journal: December 11th
Batman's good mood is becoming legitimately terrifying. The Team and the League were recently leaked a picture of Batman smiling. It is unknown who acquired the image, but due to a red-gloved finger obscuring the lower half of the picture, my suspicions have come to be centred on an ubiquitous red-clad user of the Speed Force. I, for one, do not wish to be anywhere near the Allen residence when Batman discovers the truth.
Rocket has apparently accepted Aqualad's offer of a "date," (an offer of spending time together in a romantic setting and not, as I was led to believe, a piece of a calender) causing every female Team member to squeal and offer assistance in preparing her. This will not end well.
I am saying that a lot lately.
Red Tornado's Journal: December 12th
Robin and Zatanna have completed their siege weapon, and smuggled the blasted device onto the Watchtower to test it. This test resulted in Training Rooms A through F coated in obliterated tomatoes; Common Area B lathered with the innards of a specific orange terrestrial vegetable which for the purposes of rage management shall remain nameless, and Green Lantern John Stewart unconscious under the hapless care of Captain Marvel in the cafeteria. I believe that no less than thirty lemons were fired at the Green Lantern, resulting in a massive power drain. The sequence of events leading to this, however, I am unsure of.
Rocket and Aqualad's "date" is all anyone has mentioned at the Cave in the last 72 hours and fifteen minutes. I have recorded the topic being mentioned over 630 times. Mostly from Robin, for some reason, who can now habitually be found wandering the Cave staring into space muttering "A date...a date!...a date?" or hanging upside-down from the rafters eating glue and crayons.
Something is seriously wrong with every member of the Bat-Family I have encountered. The only problem is what is wrong with them. Regarding Batman I have not even the kernel of a useful idea, but Robin (based on previous research) only behaves in such a way when thinking incredibly deeply. This therefore begs the question: what is Robin considering; and if it involves Zatanna (which it will), is it dangerous?
Red Tornado's Journal: December 13th
A large box arrived today for Artemis. She would not allow anyone else to be privy to its contents, although I did catch her saying something regarding "bows and ribbon" when she thought no-one was in earshot. According to Miss Martian (who is thankfully to naïve to suspect that I have ulterior motives regarding anything) the box contained "Christmas presents." She also informs me I am welcome to accompany her to buy any gifts I need to. I had not considered this, but perhaps I shall accept her offer.
Today was also my final day as lunch room monitor at Gotham Academy. I am quite pleased that I have completed this assignment with nothing to report. It was much simpler than I anticipated.
Aqualad and Rocket's "date" is scheduled for tonight. If it goes well, morale could well be improved around the Cave, in time for this human holiday designated "Christmas." If not, Zatanna has declared she will probably drown herself in ice cream, and that will leave a lot of paperwork for me, and most likely make Robin snap even more than he already has.
Red Tornado's Journal: December 14th
The Team has one final week of school before "Winter Break", and are all studying for their finals. (Excepting Robin, who is still rambling about dates and eating crayons and additionally took his finals early (Batman's doing).) I estimate that the increased activity will reduce unsavoury incidents by 6.72%.
Rocket and Aqualad's "date" went satisfactorily, and according to the insatiable gossip mill that is Zatanna, he has already asked her for a repeat. I observed Zatanna and Rocket discussing it. Transcript included.
ZATANNA: So, how'd it go?
ROCKET: Really well! We went to a planetarium, then out for pizza. Kaldur was a perfect gentleman all night...oh yeah, and he bought me some flowers, and then even asked me out again!
ZATANNA: Really? Already!? What'd you say? Please say you said yes. Please.
ROCKET: Uh, duh? Of course! I mean, sure I had a crush on him forever, but you know, I never really though he liked me back.
ZATANNA: I don't think any of us did. Glad you're happy, though.
ROCKET: Speakin' of, what's with you and Kid Batman? You're not even in an ankle brace anymore, and he's still followin' you around like a lost puppy...uh, when he's not (she tails off) eatin'...crayons...and...yeah.
ZATANNA: He does not! Besides, it's aadoorrable! Wait, what was that about crayons?!
ROCKET: Uh, nothing. Nothing. You mean he is adorable.
ZATANNA: (blushing darkly and running her words together) Shut up, Raq. I've got to go...to go...train...with Artemis. Right now. See you around.
ROCKET: (shouting after her retreating back) You know you'd make, like, the cutest couple, Zee! You can't fight the inevitable!
ZATANNA: (nigh screaming) Yes, I can! With a STERN FIST!
I shall have to speak with Rocket if I ever have difficulty with a Chalant project.
Red Tornado's Journal: December 15th
Ten days until "Christmas." A large fir tree has materialised in the living area overnight. Zatanna will admit she brought it here, but refuses to disclose the original location of the tree.
Artemis has not left her room all day, and threatened to shoot anyone who attempted to force entry.
Kid Flash seemed to take this as a personal challenge.
We now know that Artemis is skilled enough to shoot where Kid Flash is goingto be ahead of time, calculating his trajectory through an advanced form of trigonometry which I suspect she learned specially. Additionally, we are now left in no doubt as to why her newest trick arrows are designated "Arachnid Arrows."
It took Robin two hours and a blowtorch to liberate Kid Flash from the artifical spider webbing, when he wasn't laughing at random and grinning madly.
I believe he has a plan.
The White House has released a statement saying that the President of the United States' personal Christmas tree has mysteriously vanished without trace of a break-in or conflict of any kind. I wonder who that could have been.
Fallout shelter 62.84% complete.
