Chapter Fourteen: Murder in the Library

The Doctor ran into the room, Rose at his side, Cassie, Donna, and Agatha close behind him. They looked down at the body of Professor Peach.

"Oh my goodness!" Greeves explained.

The Doctor got right to work. "Bashed on the head. Blunt instrument. Watch broke as he fell. Time of death was quarter past four."

Donna looked around and picked up an object. "A bit of pipe," she said. "Call me Hercules Poirot, but I reckon that's blunt enough.

The Doctor, meanwhile, was looking through the papers on the desk. "Nothing worth killing for in that lot. Dry as dust."

"Hold on." Donna raised a hand. "The Body In The Library? I mean, Professor Peach, in the library, with the lead piping?"

"I suppose it is a bit… Cluedo," Cassie mused. She turned to her mother. "Remember when we used to play, when Tony and I were kids?"

"Long time ago," Rose grinned.

"Oi, can we focus?" The Doctor gave Rose a chastising look. "A reminder that domestics while on a mission is strictly prohibited, Rose Tyler." He grinned cheekily.

Meanwhile, everyone else had come into the room and started pushing each other out of the way, making astonished remarks and the like.

"Someone should call the police," said Agatha.

The Doctor flashed his psychic paper again. "You don't have to. Chief Inspector Smith from Scotland Yard, known as the Doctor. These three are the plucky young ladies who help me out. Mrs Christie was right. Go into the sitting room. I will question each of you in turn."

"Come along. Do as the Doctor says. Leave the room undisturbed." Agatha led the other people out of the room.

Donna got her classic indignant look on her face. "The plucky young ladies who help me out?" she asked him.

"No policewomen in 1926," Cassie explained.

"I'll pluck you in a minute, Cassandra. Why don't we phone the real police?"

Cassie gave Donna a very Doctor-like look. "First off, only my parents can call me Cassandra. And second, the last thing we want is PC Plod sticking his nose in, especially now I've found this. Morphic residue." She scraped something off of the floor that technically classified as "gook."

"Oh, well done," the Doctor grinned, his hearts swelling with pride for his daughter. "Have I ever told you you're brilliant?"

"A reminder that domestics on missions is prohibited," Rose interjected. "Hypocrite." She shot the Doctor her Trademarked Cheeky Smile.

Donna, thank God for her, finally brought everyone back on topic. "Morphic?" she asked. "Doesn't sound very 1926."

"It's left behind when certain species genetically re-encode," the Doctor explained.

Donna sighed, "The murderer's an alien?"

"Which means one of that lot is an alien in human form," Cassie concluded.

"Yeah, but think about it," Donna interrupted Cassie's thoughts. There's a murder, a mystery, and Agatha Christie."

"So? Happens to me all the time." The Doctor gave Donna a look that clearly meant, "this is totally normal."

"No, but isn't that a bit weird?" Donna asked. "Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders. Not really. I mean, that's like meeting Charles Dickens and he's surrounded by ghosts at Christmas."

"Well," said the Doctor, sharing a knowing look with Rose.

"Oh, come on!" Donna exclaimed. "It's not like we could drive across country and find Enid Blyton having tea with Noddy. Could we? Noddy's not real. Is he? Tell me there's no Noddy."

"There's no Noddy," said the Doctor, but he shot a quick wink at Rose and Cassie.

As they exited the library, Donna followed the Doctor saying, "Next thing you know, you'll be telling me it's like Murder On The Orient Express, and they all did it."

"Murder on the Orient Express?" Agatha looked confused.

"Ooo, yeah," said Donna, one of your best.

"But not yet," Cassie muttered to Donna.

"Marvellous idea, though," Agatha mused.

"Yeah," Donna replied emphatically. "Tell you what. Copyright Donna Noble, okay?"

"An-y-way," said the Doctor, trying to shut Donna up before she changed the course of history, "Agatha and I will question the suspects. Rose, Donna, Cassie, you search the bedrooms. Look for clues. Any more residue," he muttered under his breath. Then, in a normal tone, "You'll need this." He dug a large magnifying glass out of his bigger-on-the-inside pocket.

"Is that for real?" Rose asked.

The Doctor handed her the glass. "Go on. You're ever so plucky." He shot Rose a playful wink… oh, he wished he could kiss her, damned no-domestics rule… perhaps he should change that, anyway, Rose took the magnifying glass and led her daughter and Donna upstairs.

"Right then!" the Doctor said excitedly. "Solving a murder mystery with Agatha Christie. Brilliant."

"How like a man to have fun while there's disaster all around him." Agatha seemed somewhat disgusted.

The Doctor immediately turned sheepish. "Sorry. Yeah."

"I'll work with you, gladly, but for the sake of justice, not your own amusement." And with that, Agatha walked past him and headed for the sitting room.


"Now then, Reverend," said the Doctor, pacing the room. "Where were you at a quarter past four?"

"Let me think. Why yes, I remember. I was unpacking in my room." The Reverend reminisced for only a moment.

"No alibi, then," the Doctor mused.

"You were alone?" Agatha interjected.

"With the Lord, one is never truly alone, Doctor," said Golightly, and it was onto the next suspect: Roger.

"And where were you?" the Doctor asked.

"Let me think. I was. Oh, yes. I was taking a constitutional in the fields behind the house. Just taking a stroll, that's all."

"Alone?" the Doctor asked.

"Oh, yes, all alone. Totally alone. Absolutely alone. Completely. All of the time. I wandered lonely as the proverbial cloud. There was no one else with me. Not at all. Not ever."

Next was Robina. "At a quarter past four. Well, I went to the toilet when I arrived, and then er… Oh, yes, I remember. I was preparing myself. Positively buzzing with excitement about the party and the super fun of meeting Lady Eddy."

"We've only got your word for it," said the Doctor.

"That's your problem, not mine." The Doctor was strongly reminded of his so-called "plucky young girls." All of them, really.

"Quarter past four? Dear me, let me think," said Curbishley. "Ah, yes, I remember. I was in me study, reading through some military memoirs. Fascinating stuff. Took me back to my days in the army. Started reminiscing. Mafeking, you know. Terrible war." He began reminiscing about reminiscing…

"Colonel, snap out of it," the Doctor called.

"I was in me study," the Colonel remembered. It took a second call from the Doctor before he stopped. "Oh, sorry. Got a bit carried away there."

Next on the list was the lady herself. The Lady Eddison, that is. "Now, let me see. Yes, I remember. I was sitting in the Blue Room, taking my afternoon tea. It's a ritual of mine. I needed to gather strength for the duty of hostess. I then proceeded to the lawn where I met you, Doctor, and I said, who exactly might you be and what are you doing here? And you said, I am the Doctor and this is Miss Donna Noble…."

"Yes, yes. You can stop now. I was there for that bit." The Doctor was getting the tiniest bit annoyed at the large amounts of remembering.

"Of course," said Lady Eddison. She hiccuped. "Excuse me."

"No alibis for any of them," said Agatha, pacing the room. "The Secret Adversary remains hidden. We must look for a motive. Use ze little grey cells."

"Oh, yes, little grey cells. Good old Poirot. You know, I've been to Belgium. Yeah. I remember I was deep in the Ardennes, trying to find Charlemagne. He'd been kidnapped by an insane computer." He began remembering...

"Doctor? Doctor." Agatha snapped him out of his reminiscing.

"Sorry," said the Doctor, shaking his head.

"Charlemagne lived centuries ago." Agatha looked confused.

"I've got a very good memory," said the Doctor, as if that explained anything.

"For such an experienced detective," Agatha mused, "you missed a big clue."

"What, that bit of paper you nicked out the fire?" the Doctor asked.

"You were looking the other way!" Agatha exclaimed.

"Yeah, but I saw you reflected in the glass of the bookcase." He smirked triumphantly.

"You crafty man," said Agatha. Realizing what she was implying to the clearly-taken Doctor, she moved on to say, "This is all that was left." She held up the charred bit of paper, which said "aiden." The first letter was blurred by the fire.

"What's that first letter? N or M?" asked the Doctor.

"It's an M. The word is maiden." Agatha pondered the situation.

"Maiden!" The Doctor spoke so loudly that Agatha jumped. But then he realized that he had no idea what that meant. "What does that mean?" he asked.

Agatha sighed, "We're still no further forward. Our Nemesis remains at large. Unless your 'plucky young ladies' found something." She rolled her eyes slightly.


Meanwhile, upstairs, the plucky young ladies were looking at a locked bedroom door upstairs.

"You won't find anything in there," Greeves said, approaching the door.

"How come it's locked?" asked Cassie.

"Lady Eddison commands it to be so," Greeves explained.

Donna decided to take matters into her hands. "And I command it to be otherwise. Scotland Yard. Pip, pip." Greeves went to unlock the door.

"Why's it locked in the first place?" Rose asked.

"Many years ago, when my father was butler to the family, Lady Eddison returned from India with malaria. She locked herself in this room for six months until she recovered. Since then, the room has remained undisturbed." Greeves opened the door to reveal a child's bedroom. The curtains were drawn and a teddy bear sat at the foot of the bed. "There's nothing in here," he said.

"How long's it been empty?" asked Cassie.

"Forty years," the man replied.

"Why would she seal it off? All right, I need to investigate. You just... buttle off." Donna shooed the butler away.

"Rude," Cassie whispered to her mother. "But she is ginger." Rose laughed as she closed the door.

The three of them began looking around, when the noise of an insect buzzing rang out through the room.

"1926, they've still got bees," Donna mused.

"What?" Rose asked.

"The bees are disappearing, apparently, according to the internet. Long story. Oh, what a noise. All right, busy bee, I'll let you out. Hold on, I shall find you with my amazing powers of detection." She mimicked Hercules Poirot with her last sentence, causing Rose and Cassie to chuckle a bit. And then she pulled open the curtains to reveal a wasp the size of the window. It smashed through the glass. All three girls gasped.

"That's impossible!" she exclaimed. She backed up to the broken window, Rose and Cassie just behind her.

"Doctor!" Rose screamed. "Hold on! Give me that!" She took the magnifying glass from Donna, and focused the sunlight onto the humongous creature. The pain from the light caused the thing to scream, and all three ran from the room.


Heyo! Here's part two of Unicorn and the Wasp! I'd like to give a special shoutout to Rachel and Jubilee, my Internet buddies from across the world.

Love,

Kate