AN: -heavy sigh- ... -falls over- So... I'm super sorry it's been taking me so long to update. Remember that 2-3 chapter buffer I was talking about in a previous author's note? Yeah. I just churned out a third chapter for that buffer and writer's block damn near had me in a chokehold. My god. But... hopefully that'll be over! I hope so because I really want to continue with this story! Anyway, here's Phil, being a good big brother. (:
Enjoy!
Phil Deville
March 30th, 2010
I'm standing outside smoking a cigarette.
It's been a year since I've stopped smoking but after today, I definitely deserve something to calm my nerves. Aunt Sheri left about an hour or so ago. Maya is in the guest room hooked up to an IV and Lil hasn't left her side. Carter is downstairs talking to Tommy, Chuckie, and Maya's brother Manny about what happened and I know all of them are shocked. Manny especially.
When I saw the look on his face after Carter told him about the exchange between their mother... that's when I had to come outside for the cigarette. It's really hard being a brother somedays.
Kimi is in the back with Angelica and they're talking. She's probably uncomfortable and confused now that Tommy's here. At least, that's what she told me earlier. I've just gone ahead and accepted the fact that Kimi is always confused.
She and Tommy broke it off once again at the beginning of the school year, except this time without all the extra dramatics. They argued back and forth for a few months, but around February they stopped talking completely. That's when she decided to pick it back up with me, I guess. And that was nice, for a little while.
But she doesn't want to with me. I've asked her about it plenty, and every time she promises me that she does. But there's too much hesitation in her voice. I know a lie when I hear one. It's like I'm just a distraction to her.
Before I can ash the butt of the cigarette in my hand and start a new one, I hear the front door slam behind me. I turn around and see Lil standing there, looking a bit better than normal. She wanders underneath my arm and I hug her around her shoulders. And we stand beside each other for a long time in silence.
Finally, she looks up at me with a frown on her face. "Are you... smoking cigarettes?"
I smile and look down at my feet, handing the pack over to her. "I was. Sorry, Lil."
"Why though?" She asks. "If you get unhealthy, what will that mean for playing football? I wouldn't risk it if I were you." She drops them on the ground and smashes the whole pack, my last emergency pack, underneath her flip-flop. "Plus, I don't want to watch you kill yourself with those cancer sticks." She flinches after she mentions the 'kill yourself' thing. I hug her even tighter.
"Wouldn't it be easier if Maya just moved in with us?" I ask. "Her dad isn't home enough anymore and neither is Manny. Who knows what else could go on with her mom there?"
Lil shrugs. "Well... she's gonna crash here over break in the guest room. We just hope that her mom will leave while she's gone. She'll pretty much have the place to herself. Manny's been at Angelica's the past few days when he's not in classes or working... He was talking to Tommy earlier about her drug use and everything. Tommy was thinking she should go to rehab, but we all know it won't happen."
I understand how much Lil and Kimi dislike each other, but hearing that makes me laugh. They're more alike than they think. "You guys gotta start having more hope for people." I scold, but I'm still smiling. "Angelica's not all that bad, and you know it. Even when we were kids... she was..." And when I say this Lil gives me a look. We both start laughing. "Well, she was bad then. But she's not nearly as bad now."
"No… she's just on drugs now." My sister mutters. "What did you mean by 'people'? Angelica's not the only one you're talking about, are you?"
I shrug. "No, your boyfriend too."
Lil quickly snatches out from under my arm and I'm a little disappointed at first but I'm just grateful that this conversation is even happening. "What about him..." She says sharply.
I cross my arms and look at her. My sister is stubborn and silly in love with this boy. I've seen him come and go from our house with her a few times. We don't exchange many words, but he's pretty okay from what he does say. They get along well and he treats her right, but they argue every now and again about his drug dealing. Lil hates the idea of Carter getting locked up and well... Carter needs the money... I heard once or twice that he's saving to go to med school.
So I say, "If you're gonna get on his case about dealing, then maybe you should at least offer some alternatives."
She quickly jumps in. "I've told him to get a job-"
"Lil, come on," I scoff. "We both know he's not gonna get that kind of money making minimum wage... There are other options."
And when Lil looks at me, she isn't glaring. She looks surprised, relieved. She looks happy. "Like what..."
"I remember when I was still friends with the guys, Chuck was helping Carter with his grades. Tutoring him and all that." I say and Lil nods.
"It's really helped. He's almost got a 4.0 GPA."
I put my fist underneath my chin. "Well, if he can keep that up... don't you think there'd be a scholarship or two lying around for him? I mean, all that hard work deserves some kind of award." For a quiet minute, Lil and I are still staring at each other, but I keep talking. "And I wouldn't mind helping out either. He's a good guy." And I really take a good look at Lil. She's blushing and smiling at her feet. "You're falling for him, aren't you?"
"Yeah..." She mutters and I pull her into another hug.
I say, "That's all I need to hear. He's alright in my book." And Lil kisses me on the cheek.
We stand together for a few more minutes until her phone dings. She looks at it absently and slides it back into her pocket and says, "I'm needed back inside." She turns on her heel and goes to open the door, but she looks back at me instead. "Thank you, Philip."
And I smile to myself and wave her inside.
