Chapter 12 : Snake's Majestic Presence
"Thanks for flying us over the island on such very short notice Mister Matsu !" Kim said to the elderly pilot of the cargo plane, "None of the commercial flights come anywhere near it !"
"It is my honor to repay you for your help, Miss Possible." he replied.
"It was no big." she answered in her usual cheerful fashion, "I've never heard of anyone stealing crates of video game consoles before ! Those thieves were in way over their heads."
"Too true," Mister Matsu replied, "but I thought it was only you and Mister Stoppable. Who is your red-haired associate ? A trainee ?"
"It's kind of a very long, hard to explain story." Kim sighed before heading back into the cargo hold to prepare for the jump. Tina was laughing heartily about something.
"Toxic zombie snowmen ?!" Tina managed to ask Ron between fits of laughter.
"Yes, toxic zombie snowmen !" Ron replied snippily.
"SNOWMEN ? As in three balls of compressed snow stacked on top of each other ? Did they all have a corn cob pipe and a carrot nose ?"
"Yeah ! And two eyes made of coal !" Ron replied quite seriously, "They were rampaging all over Middleton ! They were after the news reporter. We never figured out precisely why though."
"And you didn't make that story up ? That REALLY happened ?" Tina asked once she stopped laughing long enough.
"It's all true." Kim stated plainly, "Summer Gale - the weather reporter - wanted more air time, so she bought a weather machine and buried Middleton under a few feet of snow. But she used polluted water from Lake Wannaweep to make the snow. And, for some strange reason, snowmen made from that snow came to life."
Tina looked intrigued. "Inanimate objects gained a semblance of life ? Does that sort of thing happen often ?"
Kim mulled the question over for a bit. "To us ? Yeah. Pretty much. It sorta comes with the territory. One day, we're saving the world from incompetent mad scientists with dreams of glory, the next we're dealing with animated toxic zombie snowmen or a giant poodle."
Tina chuckled mirthfully for a few moments. "That's one of the things I like about you organics ! You keep getting in to the most gloriously absurd situations !"
"Well, 'glorious' isn't exactly a term I'd use to describe those sitches ..." Ron answered.
"One of the things I like about you organics ?" Kim noted to herself, "Ten actually sort of likes humans ? I wonder how long she's felt that way ?
Kim's further musings were interrupted when Mister Matsu announced that they would be flying over the island within ten minutes.
"Okay Ten, we have some rules to follow." Kim stated to Tina, "We lead, YOU follow. I don't know exactly what we'll be facing when he get down there, but the last thing I need to be worrying about is what you're up to. So, just try to stay out the way where we can see you."
Tina merely smiled and bowed slightly. "You have far more experience doing this sort of thing than I ever will; it would be presumptuous of me to second guess you about things I know nothing about. You know what you are doing; I do not. I will gladly defer to your experience."
"Er, okay ..." Kim replied, slightly confused. She was used to getting her own way, but most people put up at least some token resistance before giving in.
"You might need this !" Kim stated as she tossed Tina a parachute.
Tina turned the pack over a few times and tried to work the straps. "Miss Possible, I have no idea how to use this thing !"
"It's just a parachute !" Kim replied, "It's not all that hard to use !"
"My training was focused entirely on the martial arts, not extreme sports !" Tina answered tersely, "I have never even SEEN one of these things before !"
"Oh, right ! Sorry about that !" Kim replied sheepishly before helping Tina get her chute on properly. "Now, do you see this large ring ? Do NOT pull on that until one of us gives you this signal." Kim continued, making a pulling gesture with her right hand, "Or you see one of our chutes open. Got that ?"
"Do not pull on ring until given a signal. Got it."
"Good. We should be on the ground in a few minutes then." Kim replied before looking out the door to examine the terrain. "Try to land on the right side of the island. Not as many trees there."
"Sounds good to me KP !" Ron replied before leaping out first, followed soon by Tina, and then Kim.
A few minutes later, Kim gracefully touched down on the beach before the others. Tina splashed down into the sea, while Ron went off course into the trees.
"Ten ! Get rid of your chute !" Kim yelled to her through cupped hands, "The currents will drag it - AND YOU - out to sea !"
Although the water Tina was standing in was only waist deep, she was having trouble fighting the immense drag from the chute and the currents.
And after some frantic searching and pulling straps at random, she wriggled free of the cords and staggered onto the beach. "Was there really no other way to do this ?" she asked between deep gasps.
"Not really." Kim replied, "This was the fastest and sneakiest way onto the island that doesn't endanger anyone else."
"Good points all." Tina replied before looking around. "Where did Ronald end up ?"
"I saw him headed for the trees on the way down." Kim replied, "He's fine. Probably hanging upside down by his pants, but otherwise fine."
Tina followed a few steps behind Kim as they headed towards the tallest grove of trees they could see and, after a bit of threading through some dense foliage, found Ron. Hanging upside down from the tallest palm tree by his pants.
"You need some help getting down Ron ?" Kim called out as loudly as she dared - she didn't know if the Bebes were still on the island, or if they'd noticed their arrival.
"Hey ! I can see someone's house from up here !" he answered just before the leaves holding him gave way, and he dropped twenty feet face first into the sand below.
"I really should have brought a first aid kit along for this trip !" Tina stated, "THAT kind of landing is going to leave a mark !"
"I'm okay !" Ron stated after spitting some sand out of his mouth and getting to his feet, "Don't worry about it T. Me and KP have walked away from worse spills before !"
Tina merely quirked an eyebrow up at him.
"You said you saw someone's house ?" Kim asked, "But this island is uninhabited !"
"Well, not so much a house as a satellite dish." Ron replied, "It's on the other side of the island, near a spot where the jungle is just a little thinner. And where there's a satellite dish, there's a TV and someone to watch it !"
"Or a computer and hacker to protect a TV signal from being jammed !" Kim stated as she contacted Wade for some navigational info. He sent a rough map, showing their location, the best guess as to where the jamming signal came from, and a rather long route to it.
"That's about the least straight line I've ever seen Wade !" Ron stated when he saw the route, "Are we avoiding traps or security devices ?"
"No. With no one living on the island, there are no large trails to follow." Wade replied, "That's the path of least resistance, as far as I can tell from satellite scans of foliage density and local geology."
"So it's a long trek through trackless jungle. No big Ron !" Kim said dismissively before signing off, "At least the Bebes will have trouble getting around too. Dense jungles and superspeed just don't mix ! But everyone keep an eye out, just in case."
And soon they started off, staying near the beach as long as they could before turning inland to avoid a large outcropping of jagged rocks.
"Something wrong Ten ?" Kim asked when she noticed Tina looking off into the jungle.
"I thought I heard something."
"Have you ever been in a jungle before ? Or even know just what to look out for ?" Kim asked, "There's a LOT of relatively harmless animals out there. Paying too much attention to every rustle and moving shadow can freak you out. The Bebebots don't strike me as the subtle or skilled jungle survivalist types, so we'll know when they're coming."
Tina smiled. "You're right. What's the point in looking for something when you don't know what you're looking for to know if you've found it ?"
"Ahhm, yeah." Kim answered as soon as she figured out what Tina said, "Can I ask you something ?"
"Of course, Miss Possible." Tina replied cheerily as they resumed their trek through the jungle, "What about ?"
"That snakey kung fu style you use." Kim began, "How did you ever FIND it, or someone that teaches it ? There can't be that many practitioners around ! Wouldn't it have been far more efficient to learn a more common style ?"
"Yeah ! Of the hundreds of martial arts styles in the world, why pick one that is so rare and unusual ?" Ron piped in.
"There are many factors used for determining efficiency." Tina began, "Common styles are easy to learn because teachers are easy to find, but because they are common, everyone knows how to defend themselves against them. When everyone uses the same style and the same strategy, how can there ever be a winner ? In this case, learning a rare style efficiently breaks the stalemate to my advantage.
You organics have been beating on each other for thousands of years, and writing down which techniques and strategies worked best.
But without a proper background understanding, there is no way to make sense of such a vast body of data. No way to use any of it."
"That explains why you'd want to learn the arts from an actual person." Kim noted, "But not why you'd select such an odd style."
"What I learned were the underlying concepts of the martial arts, which aided me in choosing my style." Tina replied sagely, "The fighting arts are divided into external forms, and internal forms. External forms focus on defeating others, while internal forms focus on self-improvement. 'Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.'
Nearly all focus for the last few decades has been on improving the external forms. Finding better ways to hit harder, faster, and more often to more efficiently beat your opponents into submission.
From Taoism, I learned that like should not be countered with like. The hard movements of the external forms are best countered with soft movements of the internal forms. Since most fighters use 'hard hitting' external forms, that suggested I should study an internal form.
I also learned that 'your greatest strength is your greatest weakness'. Most fighting styles - yours included - rely on acrobatics and mobility; I can put a stop to all that jumping about with just a single hit ! How maneuverable could you be if you couldn't bend your legs ? How hard could you hit if you couldn't even lift your arms ? So I do understand why you feel the Snake arts are 'creepy'.
But fear not !" Tina continued as they clambered over a fallen log, "Snake is a pacifistic style that only fights when threatened."
"So, you're a martial artist that doesn't like to fight ?" Ron asked.
"There's more to the martial arts than beating people up Ron !" Tina replied tensely, with her less hostile version of the Rockwaller eyeroll-to-glare response, "Someone who LIKES to fight is a brute or a thug, NOT a martial artist. I thought you and Kim - of all people - would know that !"
"Whoa ! Chill there T !" Ron replied apologetically, "I didn't know you felt that strongly about it."
"Well, it's just that, with all the attention on showing off, flashy moves and winning fights, everyone keeps denigrating the less aggressive styles." Tina sighed, "But just because I don't like to fight does not mean that I don't know how. Or that I am not very good at it."
"Never said you weren't !"
"Well, that seems to be the general assumption." Tina replied a bit huffily, " 'If you're not beating people up, you're not doing martial arts'. A sad and limited view of such intricate arts."
"Ohkay, so, Tina, you explained WHY you picked that style," Kim interrupted, "But how on earth did you find someone to teach it ?''
"I searched the web and paged through the phone book, and narrowed the list down to sixty four choices." Tina replied with a slight smirk, "I flipped a coin six times to select a school."
"What ? You flipped a coin ?!" Ron stammered.
"Yes. Since I had absolutely no basis for making a decision, a series of coin flips was the most useful way to reach a decision quickly."
Ron stopped dead in his tracks as his brain tried to make sense of such an absurd statement.
"Wasn't that kind of, I don't know, RISKY ?!" he finally asked, "You could have ended up with the worst teacher possible !"
"How would I have known that until after I'd taken a few lessons ?" Tina replied with a broad grin.
"Ah, yeah." Ron replied, still boggled. "How could flipping a coin six times narrow sixty four choices down to just one ?"
"Binary search. Heads, keep choices in the top half of the list; tails, keep those in the bottom half. Discard half not chosen. Repeat until only one choice remains.
I was with Sifu Chou for only a week, but he knew that Crane style was not for me. Kung fu is a way of life, and your style is a reflection of your personality. A mirror of who you truly are. His Crane style wasn't me, but he knew a style that was, and so he sent me over to Sifu Xu. Who was not on my original list."
"So, in other words - YOU GOT LUCKY ?!" Ron squeaked.
"Yeah, pretty much !" Tina replied with an easy laugh, "It has worked out great so far !"
-X-
After nearly half an hour of wending their way through the jungle, Kim noted an area ahead of them where the trees weren't quite as dense. "Might have been an actual clearing twenty or thirty or more years ago !" she groused to herself before signalling Tina and Ron to hold up.
"This is the place KP !" Ron stated quietly, "I thought I saw a satellite dish when I was up in that tree ! There should be a house or something around here somewhere."
"How about a camoflagued and rotting warehouse abandoned since the Second World War ?" Tina stated as she pointed the structure out.
"Yeah, that'll do !" Kim replied as the moved in a bit closer, keeping under the cover of the local foliage.
"Well, she was right about the rotting part." Kim mused to herself as she looked through a pair of binoculars. The rusted building (at least what was left of it) was two stories high, partially embedded in a hill, with what must have been a dirt-covered roof to hide it from the air - sixty years ago.
And there, sitting under a small bush on the roof, was a modern satellite dish !
Peering through the slightly ajar door, all Kim could see inside the building was a laptop computer sitting atop a old crate, beside a dull metal box.
"They didn't put much effort into hiding, did they KP ?" Ron asked.
"It's not like there's anyone here to hide from Ron." Kim answered as she activated the binocular's infra red abilities.
"Hmm - that box is giving off a strong signal." Kim stated to Ron and Tina, "I think it's a generator or something. And, oh joy ! There's a dozen person-shaped heat sources in the rafters !"
"The standard ambush scenario AGAIN, KP ?" Ron replied in a bored monotone.
"Of course it is !" Kim replied with a sigh, "If they're waiting to ambush us, let's ambush THEM instead !"
"How are you going to do that ?" Tina asked as Kim got up and strolled straight for the door.
"Okay ! Listen up thugs ! Can we PLEASE get this 'ambush' over with ?" she yelled to the shapes in the rafters once she stormed into the middle of the room, "I have more important things to do !"
Ron leapt into the room, then leapt right back out to avoid the flurry of shuriken, kunai knives and blowgun darts from the dozen ninjas perched in the rafters.
He peeked around the door and looked around. "Okay, now just WHAT is going on here ? NORMAL ninjas ? Not Bebebots ? Or even monkey ninjas ?"
"Bebebots are few, but greedy humans are many." Tina stated as she made a quick head count as the dark-clad warriors jumped down for combat, "It is safer and more efficient for them to hire an army to fight FOR them, than risk losing any more of their low numbers."
"Hire an army ? Where would Bebebots get that kind of money ?" Ron asked as he took out two ninja in quick succession with a spin kick.
"From Shego of course !" Kim replied as she performed a double flip kick, knocking out two more ninjas, "When they copied everything in her head, they got her bank account numbers and underworld contacts as well !"
"Oooooh, identity theft ! Shego is NOT going to like that !" Ron stated as he dropped an opponent with a trip attack.
Kim backfists one ninja before answering "Uh, Ron ? They slapped a big, ugly helmet on her head and used her like a puppet for days, nearly killing her in the process ! I think that was a LOT more insulting to her than using her credit rating !"
"Shego's not the sort to let anything slide KP !" Ron answered as he backrolled away from a pair of ninjas and 'collided' with another one, knocking him out, "She'll kill them once for mind controlling her, have Drakken rebuild them, then kill them again for spending her money !"
"Yeah, that sounds about right ..." Kim replied as she delivered a nasty spin kick to one of the few ninja still standing. It was then that she noticed that Tina was STILL fighting the four ninja that had jumped her earlier !
Tina was using a style Kim had never seen before - she was constantly moving in graceful circles and spins, flexing away just enough to avoid the attacks, but NOT using acrobatics to get away. Or block, parry and deflect like she would. Although Tina was surrounded by ninjas throwing punches and kicks, not one had managed to connect with a hit. Nor had she yet thrown a punch or kick at any of them.
"Style # 1105 : Ninjitsu, economy variant" Tina's processors stated, "External 97/Internal 3. Uses stealth to hit opponents from surprise. High speed, skill, stealth. Low power, duration and resistance.
Effectiveness : Moderate. Effectiveness vs Snake : not. Optimum countermeasures vs multiple opponents : Bi Qi, Fen Jin"
With that, she feinted to the right before launching four quick whipping strikes, hitting each of her opponents once before bending back into a single-handed cartwheel to roll into a ready stance.
A heartbeat later, one ninja to her left clutched his chest and dropped to his knees, gasping for breath as every muscle in his chest constricted, a victim of Bi Qi, 'sealing the breath'.
Another to her right dropped to the ground as every muscle in his left leg went slack and useless, a victim of Fen Jin, 'divide the muscle'.
She had failed to strike the other two properly to affect them, but seeing their two teammates dropped so easily distracted them for just a moment.
Pressing the advantage of surprise, Tina shifted all her weight back and then forward into a one-handed push to one ninja's chest - that compressed his ribcage nearly a full inch before slamming him back into a wall three feet behind him. The last target received the full impact of her weight, strength and momentum behind an elbow strike to the solar plexus as she shifted her weight back. He was unconscious before he even hit the floor.
"As you can see, I must work on those techniques a bit more." Tina stated as she pried an unconscious ninja out of a dent in the wall, "I needed six attacks to deal with four opponents, while you two were taking out two at a time !"
"Ahm, eh heh, what's a few extra moves between friends ?" Ron replied nervously.
Kim merely gaped. "Six attacks ? I only saw two ! All those sweeping gestures were attacks ?"
"So, what do you normally do now ?" Tina asked, "There's a pile of unconscious ninja to deal with !"
"Hmmm. Well, usually when were attacked by thugs or ninjas, the local authorities are around to take them into custody afterwards. So we don't have to do anything with them." Kim replied once she recovered her wits, "But we should be gone long before they wake up."
"And we'd need a lot of rope to tie up eight ... nine... ten ninjas !" Ron said as he did a quick head count.
"Ten ? But there were TWELVE ninjas." Tina noted, "Four each."
Kim did a quick tally of hits she, Ron, and Tina had delivered. "Where are the two your strikes worked on Ten ? They were the only two still conscious !"
Tina sighed. "They must have hobbled away when we weren't looking. Ninja are funny that way."
Kim rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Well, I guess we can deal with them if they come back. Now let's see if the Bebes left any clues behind, or if this whole trip was a waste of time !"
A thorough search of the building yielded very little - the only things present inside were the crate, that grey box, a laptop computer and all needed cables.
Kim examined the laptop computer closely - it had a sticker on the side that she guessed was a pricetag, but she couldn't make out what language it was in.
"It's Chinese." Tina noted, "The Others probably stole it from a store on the mainland on the way here."
"Which means they must have a hive somewhere near the store this was stolen from !" Kim reasoned as she activated her wrist Kimmunicator, "They wouldn't run all the way from Kansas, to China, then here just to jam a signal, would they ?"
"No. That would be most inefficient." Tina replied after a bit of thought, "But there is no guarantee that particular hive would still be occupied."
"A clue is a clue !" Kim replied as she scanned the pricetag for Wade to analyze, "Ron ! See if you can get that satellite dish off the roof. It may give us some more clues as to where a Bebebot hive is."
"On it KP !" he replied as he ran outside, only to fall through the roof a few moments later.
"The roof's in pretty bad shape KP." he stated as he got to his feet, "I don't see how anyone could've put that dish up there !"
Tina retracted the synthoskin on her right arm, then extended her hand up through the hole Ron left behind in the roof and retrieved the dish.
"Oh, right !" Ron stated, "I forgot you Bebebots can do that ! Ahm, no offense there T !"
"None taken."
"Are those screws and bits of aluminum siding hanging off that ?" Kim asked.
"Looks like it." Tina replied, "I'd surmise the Others ripped it off of someone's house. It's not like they would risk a subscription to a TV service."
"Great !" Ron stated, "Now all we have to do is track down who's roof it was swiped from to figure out where the Bebebot hive could be. There can't be more than what ? A few hundred million people in China it could belong to ?"
"Well, the subscription data is printed on that sticker on the support post Ron." Wade's image stated, "Once I get that traced, I can tell you the exact address it was stolen from."
"Well, at least one family will be happy to get their dish back !" Ron replied, "I'd hate to think what shows they're missing right now ! Satellite's fairly expensive."
"Ah, right." Wade deadpanned as he started rummaging through the various databases. "Odd - there's almost a straight line between your location, where the dish was stolen from, and the store the laptop was stolen from."
"Which means the Bebebots' hive would be near the end of that line !" Kim reasoned, "And just where could that be ?"
Wade projected a map of the world, which zoomed in on eastern China and Japan. A line between three points glimmered into view, then a large red half-circle centered on the northernmost point of the line appeared. "Given the Bebes' dedication to efficiency, the most likely location for a hive in that part of the world would be somewhere within that half-circle."
"Uhm, Wade ? That's an area of a few thousand square miles !" Kim stated once she got a feel for the scale of the displayed map, "Is there any way to narrow the search radius down a bit ?"
"Maybe." Wade answered, "Ten, do the Bebebots have any preferred places to hide ?"
"For maximum efficiency and stealth, they prefer to move into abandoned facilities than build their own." Tina replied, "And someplace that humans are scarce, or will not go - like old mines, missile silos, toxic waste facilities - would be preferred, since you organics need to eat and breathe, and they don't."
Wade entered the new search parameters. "That narrowed the search down to five sites ! Most are in Siberia."
"Great work Wade !" Kim replied, "Send that info to Global Justice, since they have the firepower and resources to deal with them properly.
And start a net search. The Bebes hired a truckload of ninja to meet us here, probably using Shego's accounts. So they might be traceable."
"On it !" Wade replied, "I'll tell GJ to pick you up there. You should be back home in a few hours."
"Spankin' ! Thanks Wade !" Kim replied. "Things are going great so far !" she thought to herself, "We found a few leads to a Bebebot hive. There may be clues to where they're working on their Omega virus there. And there can't be that many Bebebots left anymore - a few more battles may wipe them all out, once and for all !"
Then she recalled something Tina said : "They will work around you. Be where you are not."
"And if I'm in Japan," Kim deduced, "they can strike anywhere else safely !"
"Wade - this was just another diversion to keep me busy elsewhere !" Kim stated tensely, "It's the only reason they'd put an easily detected base in Japan to protect a TV signal in the US ! They knew I'd come to investigate !"
"And it would explain why there were a dozen ninja already in here, waiting for us !" Ron offered.
"So they must be up to something somewhere else !" Kim continued, "Have there been any unusual sitches within the last hour or so ?"
"Well, nothing on your website is serious, or looks like a bunch of robots is behind it." Wade answered as he checked his displays, "Let me check the news servers ... Ah, here's something ! A factory in Riverside was robbed, their warehouse emptied and demolished. Investigations still underway."
"What did the Bebes steal this time ?" Kim asked, "Electronic components ? Plastics ? Biotech ? Computer tech ?"
"Animatronics." Wade answered as he rummaged through the various databases, "The company supplies and make parts for the bigger companies."
"Well, animatronics are sort of robots. Kind of." Ron noted, not sure of what foul use the Bebes would put such technology to. "Pizza Potamus was pretty dangerous with the superstrength and laser beam eyes, and the Seniors only upgraded him a little bit !"
"True. But it all sounds a bit low tech for the Bebes." Kim replied deep in thought.
"Mister Load, do the relevant authorities know what time the factory was robbed ?" Tina asked, eyes closed in thought.
"About seven thirty, give or take a few minutes. Why ?"
"That's about the same time you stepped through that door, Miss Possible." Tina despondently stated to Kim, "That was their signal to attack elsewhere. The Others are using their numbers and coordination to maximum effect. An effective upgrade in tactics - you and Ron are a remarkably effective team, but you are only ONE team. All the Others have to do is strike at two or more locations at the same time; even you cannot be everywhere at once."
"And just HOW would they have known exactly when I entered this room ?" Kim inquired suspiciously, "Perhaps a ninja or two called them ?"
"Are you implying I LET those two escape, Miss Possible ?" Tina asked flatly, with no hint of emotion.
"Can you prove you DIDN'T have something to do with it then ?"
Tina sighed. "Prove a negative ? And just HOW could I do that to YOUR satisfaction, Miss Possible ?"
While Kim was struggling with a way to respond to that reasonable question WITHOUT looking paranoid, unreasonable or bossy, Ron was searching the fallen ninja.
"Uh, KP ? Any of these guys could have placed the call !" Ron cautiously interrupted, waving a confiscated cell phone at her, "They all have one."
Kim groused for a moment. "I'm REALLY starting to miss those old series Bebebots ! They were easy to figure out, and nowhere near this sneaky !"
"Okay, fine ! I'm sorry I accused you of aiding the other Bebebots, Ten." she managed to state after choking down a massive lump of pride, "I'm used to dealing with villains that aren't this good at being so underhanded and sneaky !"
"Apology accepted." Tina replied, "But if it is not too much to ask Miss Possible, can you PLEASE stop referring to me and my sisters by our old numbers ? I have been 'Tina' longer than I have been 'Bebebot Number Ten-A', and I much prefer my newer name."
Kim thought for a bit. "After everything the other Bebebots have done and are doing, I can't blame her for that !" "Fair enough. And you don't have to be so formal - 'Kim' and 'Ron' is fine with us."
"So, Wade, any point in trying to trace this phone number ?" Kim inquired, back on track.
"Not really." he replied as he did the trace anyway, "It looks like the billing address is an empty lot in San Bernadino. The Bebes only needed it for that one call. And those ninja wouldn't even need to say anything - the call itself was the signal.
I put some calls in to the Riverside police department. They'll give you whatever help and information you need when you get there."
"Thanks Wade." Kim replied before turning her Kimmunicator off. "Might as well head to the beach and wait for the GJ transport."
But the moment they stepped outside, they realized they had a problem - they were in the center of a ring of nearly fifty ninja !
"Did the Bebes get a bulk discount for hiring so many at once or something ?" Ron asked as he looked for a break in the ring as the dark clad warriors starting pulling out katanas, sickles, staves, and all sorts of sharp, dangerous things he didn't know the names of.
"Any ideas, Kim ?" Tina asked as she did a head count.
"I was expecting a few Bebebots, not a horde of human ninjas !" Kim answered through gritted teeth as she sized up the various opponents, "I didn't bring any knockout formula lipgloss since Bebes are immune to it ! I got my supersuit powered up, but it can't stay that way forever. I can't punch or kick through my force shield, nor protect anyone else with it ! And if I use stealth mode, they'll just concentrate on beating you and Ron up !"
"It would appear the Others have found a counter strategy for your supersuit then." Tina observed, "You're the leader, Kim. Any ideas ?"
"Just keep fighting, I guess !" Kim replied as she dropped into her ready stance, "There's a lot of them, but they can't all be good ! I think they scraped the bottom of the barrel to fill the order - how many times have you seen flabby ninjas before ?"
"Good point." Tina replied when she noted the ninjas Kim was referring to, "But in a battle of attrition, the longer the fight goes on, the more likely the side with the greatest numbers will win. So we must win quickly."
"Well, if either of you have any ideas about HOW to do that, I'd like to hear them !" Ron interrupted as he backed up to be shoulder to shoulder with Kim.
"I, may have a way." Tina stated as the ninjas started moving in, "But you're not going to like it."
"I don't think our feelings matter much right now Tina !" Kim answered as she started punching and kicking anyone that got too close to her, "If you can do something about all these guys, DO IT !"
"You're REALLY not going to like it ..."
"DO IT ALREADY !" Ron yelled, struggling to escape from the four ninjas grappling his arms and legs.
Tina merely shrugged as she began to concentrate. The technique she planned to use required doing something unnerving to start it off, but given the ninjas' massive advantage in numbers, she'd have to do something really scary just to break even.
So she swaggered forward and grabbed the closest ninja by the windpipe with just one hand, then flexing like a snake from the ankles upward, delivered a whipping headbutt, practically hammering him to the ground with an echoing crack. It was suddenly very quiet.
She began giggling maniacally as she performed an exaggerated martial arts move to display her superhuman flexibility.
Tina's face twisted into a homicidal grin, and her breathing sounded like the hissing of a gigantic snake that seemed to come from everywhere but nowhere. "Sssssso, little ninjasssss, who wantssss to die firssst ?" she proclaimed in the creepiest, most malevolent tone she could muster.
The only response was eerie silence. Which was soon interrupted by the sound of dozens of people slowly backing away, before breaking into a full bore panicked run.
Only a dozen unnerved ninjas remained, which Kim and Ron easily defeated once even they recovered from the effects of Tina's maneuver.
"Okay, just WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT ?!" Kim asked as Tina took a few deep breaths to re-center.
"That maneuver is called 'The Cobra Flares Its Hood', from Viper style kung fu." Tina replied, still sounding a bit hoarse, "One of the forms of Snake's Majestic Presence. By scaring my enemies away, I don't have to fight them. Then everyone can go home safe and unharmed. After all, a battle avoided is a battle won."
"That - has got to be the creepiest, most wrongsick thing I've ever seen !" Ron stammered as he tried to get his nerves back under control, "It's like the anti Puppy Dog Pout or something ! PLEASE don't ever do that again !"
"I am sorry, but I did warn you that you would not like it." Tina replied in a conciliatory tone, "I thought it was the best chance we had."
"Good call Ten, er Tina !" Kim replied, still a bit rattled from that demonstration of the SMP,"But I'm with Ron on this one - do NOT do that again unless absolutely, positively necessary !"
"Very well." Tina replied, "I shall only use that technique when I am surrounded by fifty or more opponents. Which I hope should be almost never."
"You and me both !" Kim thought to herself as they started their trek towards the closest beach for GJ pickup.
