Chapter 20 : The Unchosen Ones
"Vita non est vivere sed valere vita est" - Life is more than merely staying alive.
Thanks to the efforts of Team Possible, the Earth had won a Chthonian victory over the Unity - humanity was safe for now, but the Unity would be back to try again when the time was right. But at least the human race has plenty of time to prepare.
Life went on pretty much as expected : NASA and the armed forces worked on planetary defenses and anti-robot weapons, Kim and GJ tried to keep a tight lid on the Elite's plots, and everyone else pretty much went on as best they could.
The Rossums had NOT expected the Unity to simply withdraw from Earth - they thought they had at least a few years to figure out what to do with the rest of their lives while helping GJ.
"More job offers Nina ?" Tina asked her sister as they were sorting through their mail, "Any of this batch appeal to you ?"
Nina sighed. "Well, there is an offer from Global Dynamics, but their labs are in a very small town."
"How small ?" Vina asked as she opened some of her mail.
"This base has a larger population than the whole town !" Nina answered, "And this offer from the Banzai Institute ? The tech is incredible, but sounds far too chaotic for my tastes. You find anything of interest T ?"
"A Mr Blamhammer has expressed some interest in making a movie about us." Tina replied, "Sounds amusing, but I've seen some of his productions."
"Those are better than any of my job offers !" Vina snarked, "The only reason people want ME is for the 'gimmick' of a musical robot ! They don't care how well I can play ! They just care about the fact that I am not made out of meat !
Nina ? Do we really HAVE to work for other people ?" Vina asked as she ripped her mail into confetti and tossed it into the air, "For once in our lives, can't we chart our own paths and work for who WE choose to work for ?"
The eldest Rossum mulled it over. "I don't think we really have a choice in the matter Vina. We have some civil rights - thanks to GJ's influence - but we're not legally citizens yet ! It will be at least another eighteen months before we can take the tests and be sworn in."
"Which means no high security or government agency will hire you." Vina groused, "So we can kiss the extremely lucrative contracts of old goodbye ! For at least two or so years !"
"We can hold out that long." Nina replied, "It may be very difficult for a few years, but after that, we should be fine.
As soon as we figure out just what to do in the meantime to earn enough money for spare parts ..." she continued with a grimace.
"Couldn't we just do what we were planning on doing before ?" Vina replied, "You can invent stuff, Tina can finish her physical therapists' degree, and I guess I can give music lessons or work in a music store or hire out for parties until my career takes off ...
Oh, right - that could take years ! We need above minimum wage income until then ! Dang ! We have talents and skills, but it will take time for people to realize that.
Since you currently have the most marketable skills, it looks like you'll have to be the major breadwinner for a little while longer Nina !" Vina continued.
"No different than it was before." Nina replied with a shrug, "I have no problem with that."
"Why are you sellling yourself so short Vina ?" Tina asked, "You have an upgrade we older models lack : a split processor harboring an alternate skill block. You are, by all estimates, on par with the top twenty five espionage agents in the world ! Skills of that level are quite marketable !"
"Don't ask me to use those T !" Vina shuddered in reply, "I HATE using them !"
"Why ?" Tina inquired, "They are as much a part of you as your musical skills. They are nothing to be ashamed of."
"Shame has nothing to do with it !" Vina scowled in reply, "I don't like risky situations. We are the only three of our kind - we shouldn't go around throwing ourselves into dangerous situations. They tend to find us often enough on their own, thank you very much !
My spy skills are only valuable if I put myself into dangerous situations. I feel my LIFE is worth more than anyone could offer me to use them !
Besides," she continued, "I have to deactivate and compress my musical subroutines to use my alternate skill block. Do you know what it's like for a musician to NOT be able to play or even understand music ? And if I use them too often, they would be all anyone wants from me ! I would sacrifice my long term goals for short term gains !"
"So, we'll put that waaaaaay back on the back burner then." Nina stated, "To be used if all else fails."
"Thank you !" Vina replied with a sigh of relief, "I still think your skills are far more marketable Nina. Hey ! You could be an efficiency expert - there's always someone that could use help getting their business to run more smoothly. Or even better - a hired gun researcher/inventor ! There's always someone that could use help getting their inventions to work safely. Or actually work at all. And jobs from private individuals don't have such strict requirements for citizenship !
And once you gain a reputation for quality work, you'd never run out of job offers or intellectual challenges !
But, on the downside, if you hire yourself out as a hired gun inventor, most of your offers will probably be from criminals." Vina continued, "You'd have to be very, very careful about what jobs you take."
"Of course." Nina replied, "That is quite a risky endeavor, and isn't quite logical or safe, but it does have great merit. After all, no risk, no reward.
Now, all I have to do is figure out how much to charge for what I can do. Oh, and design a web site to advertise it.
And find a provider to host the site ..." she continued as she began cheerfully writing up a 'To Do' list.
"You do realize that Kim will get involved, right ?" Vina stated glumly, "What should we do when she finds out and feels threatened by our efforts ? I have no desire to end up like Team Impossible. Or be 'forced' to work with her. OR for her."
"We are not a threat to her." Nina replied without looking up from her list, "She and her friends can keep doing whatever they like. We're not going to be doing any high-risk jobs to challenge her, nor take any actions to stop her, and I think it would be best if she 'let' us handle some of the more mundane stuff. That would let Team Possible devote more effort to the big jobs - like keeping the Elite from taking over the world, or sabotaging the world's budding space defense programs. Or just taking them over for their own uses."
"But she's bossy, possessive and very nosy !" Vina whined, "What if she has Wade tap into GJ's records and finds out about my alternate skill set ?"
Nina looked up from her list. "What reason would she have for doing that ?"
"What reason did she have for doing that background check on us when I first transferred into Middleton High ?" Vina replied.
"The fact you survived two servings of mystery meat ?" Tina offered with a chuckle, "She has no reason to investigate us any further, so you should be fine !"
"I truly hope so." Vina grumbled in reply, "If she finds out about my alternate abilities, she'll see me as competition. A threat to her glory. Something to be outclassed, subjugated or destroyed. I will never know a moment's peace ever again - she'll be compelled to challenge me until she proves she's better !"
Later, in GJ lounge. Vina was laying on the couch, fiddling with a composition, as half a dozen holographic screens hovered in air above her.
And getting swatted at by Enkindu the robotic cat sitting on her belly, when Kim and Ron come in.
"So, I hear your sister is planning on being a 'hired gun' inventor." Kim sniped at Vina, "Anything I should be worried about ?"
Vina glared at her. "No. She believes that the most efficient and most logical way to use our talents is to make the world a better place for everyone, since anything else is a waste or ultimately self-defeating foolishness. Both Tina and I agree with her."
"Oh. Really ?" Kim replied, sounding pleasantly surprised, "Well, glad to hear it !"
"Miss Rossum ?" Agent Du asked primly, "You have skills that could be quite useful for my latest mission."
Vina quirked an eyebrow at him. "Really ? Why would you want my help, now that Miss Perfect is here ?"
"I don't need your espionage skills." Will replied, "It is your advanced understanding of music and foreign cultures that are needed."
"Oh, in that case : I'll be glad to help !" Vina replied cheerily as she set Enkidu on the floor, "Where are we going ? Is it dangerous ? And when do we leave ?"
"Mission briefing right this way." Agent Du replied, gesturing down the hall.
"Hey ! Just what are you playing at here Will ?" Kim asked once she recovered some composure, "I thought you hated working with amateurs !"
"I do, Miss Possible. But she is no amateur." Will replied with a smirk before he turned and walked away.
"Okay, so, what the heck was that supposed to mean ?" Ron asked a few moments later.
"Oh, I get it now !" Kim replied, "Even Dr Director was getting sick of Vina's bad attitude, so she set up some sort of lame pity mission to send her on. Just so Vina could feel useful ! And Will decided to take a cheap shot with that 'she is no amateur' line !"
"That wasn't what I was asking about KP." Ron stated, "Will distinctly said 'I don't need your espionage skills'. I didn't even know she had any !"
"Neither did I !" Kim noted before she called up Wade to access everything GJ knew about the Rossum sisters.
"That's a pretty tall order Kim !" said Wade, "Since they are under GJ's protective custody, those sorts of records are multiple top secret ! Buried under layers of security and encryption !
Ah, here they are !" he stated after just a few seconds. "Every single thing they told Global Justice during their initial debriefings."
Wade peered at one of his monitors for a few moments, looked surprised, then taken aback, then looked at the screen again.
"From what I see here, Vina admitted to having quite a collection of espionage skills, programmed in by the Unity. And speaks many languages." Wade reported.
"How many is many Wade ?" Kim asked.
"Six thousand, eight hundred and twenty seven." he replied flatly.
"Almost seven thousand languages ? I don't think so !" Kim retorted, "She must have lied to GJ about that ! And they believed her !"
"And wasn't spying on average people sort of the whole reason the Unity built the Rossums in the first place ?" Ron offered.
"I KNEW I had good reason to be suspicious of them !" Kim replied, "I HATE it when people keep secrets from me ! But what is Will up to ? He said he didn't need her spy skills, so of what use could Vina be ? She's a musician !"
Kim thought quietly for a bit. "I think we'd better sit in on that briefing Ron ! That'll save Dr Director the trouble of calling us in when Will and Vina blow it later ! And it would be great to go on a mission that doesn't involve killer robots for a change !"
A few moments later, in briefing room :
"No one asked YOU to be here Kim !" Vina growled at Kim, "This is none of your business !"
"I'm MAKING it my business !" Kim sniped back.
"Why ? Afraid I might do something useful or important without your permission ?" Vina scowled back, "Afraid my competence might undercut your glory ?"
"So, V, why didn't you tell us you had mad spy skills ?" Ron interrupted, hoping to defuse yet another fight.
"Why would you two NEED to know that ?" Vina replied a bit louder than necessary, "The only people that needed to know, know. End of discussion !"
"Oh no it's not ! We're just getting started !" Kim announced, "And you SERIOUSLY expect anyone to believe that you can speak almost seven thousand languages ? As if !"
Vina glared at her, tensed up, then sighed. "There is more to the world than America, Kim. We could have been stationed anywhere at any time, so the Unity thought it best to give at least one of us language skills. And since I was designed for social interactions, I was the logical choice.
And since the Unity doesn't do anything half way, they downloaded every linguistic database they could hack into." Vina continued, "Then tapped into every TV channel they could to construct a cultural interaction database. I've watched the equivalent of twenty years worth of TV in every language ! And by watching, I mean watching 24/7 !"
"So, you speak all languages then ?" Ron asked.
"Not all. Just those with more than a thousand native speakers, or were web accessible." Vina replied while looking at her fingernails, "There are still thousands of languages that aren't in my translational database yet."
"You planning on completing the set or something ?" Kim inquired.
"Might as well." Vina replied with a shrug, "If I don't, who will ? Or could ?"
"Arrogant much ?" Kim noted.
"Says the girl who always says 'I can do anything !' " Vina shot back before turning to Dr Director. "Dr Director ? WHY do you put up with such disrespect from her ? She thinks she has the right to just stroll in during a mission briefing THAT DOES NOT CONCERN HER like she runs the place ! Shows a complete lack of respect for you and every rule this organization runs by !"
"Kim has proven herself to be a valuable asset both to this organization and to the world for years, and so has earned a little slack." Director answered, "Your point, however, is still valid."
"So, should me and KP wait outside or something ?" Ron offered, noting the chilling glare Dr Director was giving them.
Dr Director sighed. "No. Since you're already here, you might as well stay.
Agent Du, please begin." she stated to Will.
"Yes ma'am. At approximately 0300 GMT, a museum of classical music in Berlin was broken into." Will stated as the big screen showed the destruction and carnage at the crime scene.
"And why would this involve GJ ?" Kim asked.
"The only thing stolen was an item not on display, and that few even knew was there - the Lyre of Orpheus." Will replied as a picture of the lyre popped up.
"THE Lyre of Orpheus ? They had the ACTUAL lyre ?" Vina asked in a squeaky, overawed voice.
Kim couldn't figure out what the big deal was - the lyre had a soundboard of what looked like tortoise shell, two arms curved like a bull's horns, a gold yoke connecting them near the points, and seven strings. Odd materials sure, but nothing she could see calling GJ in for.
"Uhm, what's a lyre ?" Ron asked, "And who's this Orpheus dude ?"
Vina glared at him for several tense moments before regaining her composure. "Orpheus was the father of music." she began, "The greatest musician and poet the ancient Greek world ever knew. His music and songs could soothe raging beasts ! Make trees and rocks dance ! Alter the course of rivers ! Make even the gods themselves feel what he wished ! He was one of a small handful of people to ever go into the Underworld and come back !"
"Wow !" Ron whistled, "So, if even a little of his power was absorbed into that lyre ..."
"... someone could use it to take over the world !" Kim finished before thinking a few moments. "Me and Ron should have it back in the curator's hands by tomorrow !" she announced before getting up and leaving.
"WHY DOES ANYONE EVEN BOTHER GETTING UP IN THE MORNING ?" Vina asked Will, after screaming at the air in frustration for a few seconds after Kim and Ron left.
"Duty." Will answered in a resigned tone, "We're not doing this for fame or glory or recognition. The greatest agents are known only by their results ..."
"... and not their names or faces." Vina finished the cliche, "Why should knowing that make you feel better ? Kim just waltzed in and STOLE your mission !"
Will mulled it over a bit. "Or so it would seem." he finally stated, "How would she know where to start looking for the lyre ?"
"Probably just go to Berlin and have Wade scan the place, then get extremely lucky when a coincidence HANDS her the culprit on a silver platter." Vina replied, "Or take a shot in the dark that hits her foe right between the eyes, succeeding instantly with no real effort at all. Like she always does."
"Well, that would still put her a few steps behind the thief, and only fools rely on luck." Agent Du noted, "Where would your expertise in music suggest the thieves would do with the lyre ?"
"Magic is not my thing !" Vina demurred.
"But understanding music and human behaviour is - that's WHY you were called in to consult !" Dr Director stated.
Vina thinks for a bit. "Well, if the thief believes in magic, and is trying to access Orpheus' power, he'd probably take the lyre someplace with a strong connection to Orpheus. There was a shrine where his head was buried in Greece. Antissa, on the isle of Lesbos."
Dr Director quirked an eyebrow at Vina. "Just his head is buried there ?"
"Yes. According to myth, a troop of berzerk Maenads tore him apart, and his lyre and still singing head drifted down the river, and ended up at Antissa.
Hey - *I* didn't write the story !" Vina exclaimed once she noted the odd looks she was getting.
"True enough." Will replied, "But at least we have somewhere to start a search. And perhaps be a few steps ahead of Miss Possible."
"Well, that's always a good thing to be and wait - when you said 'we', did you mean you and me, or GJ ?" Vina asked.
"I said you could be of great assistance to my mission, Miss Rossum." Will stated, "That would go much more smoothly if you came along."
Vina thought about it for a moment. Getting a chance to spank Miss Perfect at something would require temporarily replacing her musical skill set with her alternate skill set - something she truly despised even thinking about doing. But then such a task may not even be necessary - her knowledge of music was important for the mission, NOT her alternate skills. And the drive to be useful was especially strong in her.
"Do I have to come along ?" she asked timidly, "That mission could get dangerous !"
"No one is forcing you to do anything, Miss Rossum." Dr Director stated, "It would be much more efficient if you went along with Agent Du, but since you are a civilian, it is YOUR choice whether to go or not."
"I appreciate that Dr Director !" Vina replied, "I truly do. But I have two questions : aren't you going to do anything about Wade ? The only way Kim could have known I speak thousands of languages was if he violated my privacy by hacking into GJ's files - in direct violation of several state, federal and international laws !"
"We know he does that." Will replied, "But after all this time, he still hasn't realized that all of his hacks were into a spoof account."
"A what ?" Vina asked.
"Kim and her friends have proven quite useful in keeping the world safe." Dr Director began, "But know little about how real espionage agencies work. For instance, they don't know that all of GJ's actual records are in computers with no net access. The only way to get any data out of them is to go through proper channels and ask for it. That lowers efficiency a little, but the gains in security and accountability more than make up for it.
Since agents may need fast access to some of that data, we set up a spoof account - the main computer simply dumps subtly altered info into a very secure, net-accessible account. Times will be off by twenty three minutes or so either way, or addresses scrambled. GJ agents know this, and know how to derive the correct data from the spoofed."
"Tina was right - pride is the ultimate blindfold !" Vina noted with a Chesire cat grin, "Few outsiders would suspect they've just found a spoof site, since they're so darned arrogant and cocky ! And any attempt to backtrack to the actual computer from that account cannot work, because there is no real link ! BRILLIANT !"
"Exactly." Director replied, "The hackers leave when done, thinking they've stolen valuable info from GJ. But we control what is in the spoof account - they know only what we LET them know. It has worked quite well for us so far."
"I knew there was something about this place I really liked !" Vina giggled in reply, before turning deadly serious. "But now that Kim knows about my alternate skill set, she's going to go out of her way to upstage me every chance she gets ! You know she doesn't tolerate competence in others !"
"You and your sisters have dealt with her before." Will noted, "And, frankly, as long as you don't threaten the safety of the world or break any major laws, GJ will not get involved in such petty matters.
So, what was your second question ? You said you had two questions." Will continued.
"Who does GJ think is responsible for the theft ?" Vina began, "I mean, just what sort of trouble are you looking at here ?"
Hours later, Kim and Ron are in a jet :
"Uhm, KP ? I'm pretty sure we have to cross an ocean to reach Germany !" Ron stated while looking out the window.
"We're not going to Germany, Ron." Kim replied while checking her mission gear, "We're going to Los Angeles !"
"Okay. Why ?" he asked.
"Because that's where Senior Senior Junior is !" she replied, "Could it really be any more obvious ? Junior wants to be a pop star, so he stole a magical instrument to do so !"
"Well, that makes sense." Ron noted, "At least as much sense as anything Junior does. But wouldn't Will and the rest of Global Justice know that too ?"
"Probably. But they'll still be collecting evidence and witness statements in Germany while we recover the lyre !" Kim answered, "By the time they get everything done 'by the book', we'll have recovered the lyre and handed it back to the curators !"
Half an hour later, outside of a studio building with a 'For Rent' sign posted on it :
"I have no idea what you are talking about !" Junior whined at Kim.
"Oh come on Junior ! Everyone knows you want to be a pop sensation !" Kim stated, poking him in the shoulder, "You've stolen stuff for that dream before - remember the Cupid Ray ? And the Oh Boyz ?"
"Ah, yes. That is true." Junior replied, "But I have a new dream now - to be a high powered Hollywood producer !"
"Didn't you try to break into Hollywood once before ?" Ron asked, "In the LITERAL sense of the words ?"
"Well, yes, but that was as an actor." Junior replied, posing melodramatically, "But the fortunes of an actor are too dependent on the whims of a fickle public."
"So you're going to be a producer and have some control over the sitch ?" Kim asked, "And start making your own movies ?"
"But of course !" Junior replied triumphantly, "When I pay for everything, I can do whatever I want !"
"Wow ! He's been a multibillionaire his whole life, and he just realized that NOW ?" Kim whispered to Ron, who only nodded in reply.
"But being a movie producer isn't that easy Junior." Ron stated, "What if your movies tank ?"
"So what if they do ?" Junior replied with a dismissive wave, "I spend more on Le Goup hair products in a month than some movies cost to make ! A loss of millions means nothing to me." he continued before walking off to speak with the real estate agent that just showed up.
"Well, he's certainly right about that !" Ron noted quietly to Kim, "But if he didn't steal that lyre, who did ? And where is it now ?"
"I guess we'll have to go to Germany after all." Kim groaned in reply, "But then we'll have all the leads we'll need to track down that lyre !"
Hours later, in a dark cell under the ruins of the city of Antissa :
"Wow ! Now THAT was the fastest we've ever been captured KP !" Ron stated as soon as the solid steel door was slammed shut.
"Who are these guys ?" Kim asked, "Those goons were actually competent ! They even took all our gadgets !"
"They work for a man who calls himself Professor Prometheus." Agent Du stated from the shadows he'd sitting in, "He's been trying to restore Greece to its ancient world-ruling glory for years. This is the first time he's tried using magical devices though."
"Professor Prometheus eh ?" Kim noted, "Never heard of him. If he were any good, I'm sure me or Wade would have heard of him !"
"Not if he was foiled before anyone noticed. As happens when competent agents do their jobs properly." Will noted snidely, "And you hadn't even heard of Team Go - a team of heroes in brightly colored spandex costumes that never went out of their way to hide their existence !"
Ron sighed. "Are you two done yet ?"
"Done what ?" both Kim and Will asked at the same time.
"Everyone knows how this goes !" Ron began, "You and Kim have your own plan for getting out of here, but won't do anything until you're done arguing. So the sooner you two can finish bickering, the sooner we can get out of here !"
"This might be a little harder than usual Ron !" Kim replied, "They took all our gear ! Even the Kimmunicator and my grapple gun !"
"So, saving the world isn't so easy when you've been reduced to an 'average girl', is it Miss Possible ?" a female voice from the shadows asked.
"Excuse me ? Do I know you ?" Kim asked the young woman with long dark hair, olive skin and dark shades before turning to Agent Du and asking "Where's Vina ? Did she decide to stay home where it's safe ? Or did you get tired of her constant snarkiness too ?"
"You sure you weren't adopted ?" the woman asked as her hair turned blonde and her skin paled for a moment, "I would have thought the spawn of a rocket scientist and a brain surgeon would be a bit smarter. Or at least a bit more observant !"
"Vina ?" Ron exclaimed, "Is that you ? What happened to your skin and hair ?"
"Uhm, I can change their color at will Ron." Vina stated, "Tina demonstrated that ability for Dr Drakken some time ago, remember ?"
"Oh, right !" Ron recalled, "But why the new look now ?"
"I'm in disguise." Vina replied plainly, "So when I become a famous musician, Professor Prometheus won't recognize me from this little misadventure, and try to do something 'unpleasant' later."
She turned to Will and stated in Spanish (in case any of Prof Prometheus' men were listening in) "I've had a plan for over an hour, if it matters."
"You have ?" he replied in kind, "Why didn't you say something earlier ?"
"It would have done no good." Vina replied, "Even if we managed to escape the guards and you summoned backup, it would not arrive for hours. By then, Prof Prometheus and his crew could be long gone, and you'd have to start the searching for the lyre all over again.
But now that Miss Perfect and the Fist of the Monkey God are here, the mission can be completed in just a few minutes !"
Will was moderately impressed - Vina was thinking about finishing the mission instead of saving her own hide or getting back at Kim.
"You knew they would show up in time ?" Agent Du asked.
"Of course. That's what they do." Vina replied flatly, "That's ALL that they do. And on that sour note : do we really have to maintain the Great Lie ? Play the incompetent fools so Miss Possible's feelings aren't hurt ?"
Will mulled it over a bit. "GJ General Order 13-B-007a explicitly states that on any mission where either Kim or Ron is present, GJ agents must defer and hold back."
"But I'm not a GJ agent, so that order doesn't apply to me !" Vina replied, "I realize and accept that your General Order is necessary for the greater good of the world, and I will keep my promise - I won't tell them what is REALLY going on. But is there any real need for me to keep holding back ? How long must she be coddled ?"
"HEY ! Have the courtesy to speak English !" Kim interrupted, "Please and thank you !"
Vina looked at her sadly. "You've been all over this world several times over, and you don't even speak a second language ? Most absurd ! It's good that Tina isn't here - she'd probably hurt herself laughing."
"Well, it looks like speaking another language didn't help you two any !" Kim snapped, "You WERE captured first !"
"That's only because we got here first !" Vina fired back, "And sort of ran into a whole bunch of guards first !"
"Well, who's fault was that ?" Kim needled her.
"We didn't know there were so many patrols until we got on the island." Will noted, "At least four times as many as usual. The Prof spared no expense or effort for this particular scheme. I am not exactly sure why."
"Well, we've gotten out of tighter spots before !" Kim stated confidently, "We'll just sneak out through the air vents !"
"Won't work." Vina replied, pointing to the only air vent : it was a single foot wide tube on the ceiling ten feet up.
"Well, I'm sure Rufus can open this lock in no time at all !" Kim stated, "Say, Ron, where IS Rufus ?"
"He bailed when we were captured." he replied, "Probably scoping out the lair and doing the basic recon thing by now."
"Well, I just hope he finds the lyre and his way back here before Prof Prometheus sends for us then." Vina stated, "Otherwise, we'll have to sneak around in here looking for him ! Not the wisest thing to do inside a villain's lair !"
"He's a very clever rodent Vina !" Kim stated, "He's been in sitches worse than this before. He usually finds us when we need him."
"Well, be that as it may, how are you planning to get out of here ?" Vina asked as she gestured towards the heavy steel door, "Do you have a molecular agitator disguised as a quarter ? A phone in your shoe ? C4 chewing gum ? A laser in your class ring ? An adamantium bracelet that doubles as a cable saw ? Tooth whitening strips that can be turned into metal dissolving acid to destroy the hinges ?"
Kim looked at her oddly for a few moments. "Erm, no ! Even if we ever used stuff like that, those goons took all our stuff when they captured us."
"Well, who needs gizmos when you've got Mystical Monkey Power ?" Ron stated as he cracked his knuckles and a blue glow began to manifest around him.
"Are you nuts ?" Vina exclaimed as she got in his way, "If you smash that door down, you'll attract every guard in this place ! Why face a swarm when you really don't have to ? Honestly now : do you two always resort to brute force the moment you encounter any resistance or what ?"
Kim glared at her, but had to grudgingly admit that she did have a point. "So, how WERE you and Willy there planning to break out of here ? Hit the door with snarky comments and hope it got mad and walked away ?"
"Droll Kim. Very droll." Vina scowled in reply as she took off her belt and started picking at the lining near the back, then pulling out four thin plastic strips.
"What the heck are those ?" Ron asked as Vina licked them.
"These are called lockpicks. Got them from GJ's quartermaster." Vina replied as she waved the picks at him, "They're made of a plastic with molecular memory. In their original state, they're flexible and nearly impossible to find inside the belt. Add a few water molecules by wetting them, and they become stiff enough to use for a few minutes."
"And you seriously think you can use them to open that door ?" Kim asked, arms crossed in doubt.
"Oh, I know I can !" Vina replied proudly as she began working on the lock, "Why can't you ? You've broken into hundreds of lairs over the years and you can't even pick a simple lock ? What kind of idiots were you facing ?
Oh, THAT'S right - you relied on Wade's tech to solve all your problems for you ! Or the skills of the Rufus the Wonder Rodent.
But, as Nina would say : the more advanced the technology, the more vulnerable it is to primitive assault." she continued as she turned the handle and opened the door just enough to peek out, "Or is that T ?"
"Told you she was no amateur." Will stated as he nudged Kim.
"Shut it Will !" Kim replied through her teeth.
"Good news and bad news." Vina stated, "There's one very bored guard five feet from the door, near the right wall. At least one more guarding a corridor to the left, and one other guarding a door further down the corridor straight ahead. The elevator to the surface is straight down the hall. I didn't see any security cameras. And that disturbs me."
"So, we're looking at taking down three or so guards quickly and quietly ? I can do that in my sleep !" Kim noted proudly.
"Heh ? She has no real understanding of 'discretion' or 'subtlety' at all, does she ?" she asked Will in Mandarin Chinese, figuring that GJ's top agent would speak one of the most common languages on Earth (based on sheer number of native speakers).
"That's one reason that she'll never be offered a job with Global Justice." he replied in kind.
"There are other reasons ?" Vina asked.
"An organization like Global Justice relies on teamwork and cooperation amongst all levels and agents." Will continued, "Kim's idea of teamwork is to appoint herself the leader, then do everything herself. Making everyone else on her 'team' irrelevant."
"And no one likes being irrelevant." Vina replied, "Eventually, no one would work with her or for her unless they had no other choice ! Very bad for overall morale !
And she hasn't figured that out yet ?"
"Sadly, no." Will replied, "We tried teaching her a lesson about 'allowing' other people to be competent a few years ago, but it didn't take."
"How did you do that ?" Vina asked.
"Dr Director called her in to consult on a mission." Will continued, "Kim, of course, demanded to be treated as an equal. So I acted like her WITHOUT her charm and charisma for a bit to showcase how such behavior might be seen by others."
Vina mulled that over for a bit, then shuddered. "By Asimov's ghost ! You must have been acting like a pompous, self-absorbed arrogant jerk !"
"Pretty much." Will replied, "When it was over, I told her the truth : that she was 'of great assistance on MY mission.' She didn't take it very well."
"Would you two PLEASE stop doing that !" Kim groused at them.
"Whatever. So, what's YOUR plan Kim, since everyone knows you never listen to anyone else's ?" Vina sniped at her.
Kim glared at her coldly. "We find our gear and have Wade send in the cavalry. Then find the most heavily guarded room in this place, since that is where the lyre would be. Then recover the lyre and get out of here. Simple, direct and easy."
"Simple-MINDED, directly STUPID, and easy TO GET CAUGHT you mean." Vina replied.
"Why are you giving me such a hard time Vina ?" Kim asked tersely, "When Tina was tagging along on a mission, she deferred to my leadership ! So, what's wrong with you ?"
"Well, in the first place, I am not my sister !" Vina replied, "In the second place, the only thing 'wrong' with me is the fact that your 'charge ahead and damn the consequences because I'M JUST SO FRECKING WONDROUS !' attitude annoys me to no end. In the third place, you have no authority here - Agent Du does. Fourth, I HATE God Mode Sues, and I don't trust vigilantes ! And golly gee Kim - YOU'RE BOTH !"
Kim looked flustered for a moment before regaining her composure. "Oh, I know what this is about now !" she stated coldly, "You think your spy skills are better than mine, and you're trying to show me up !"
"What are you jelling about now ?" Vina asked, "I only activated those skills after I got captured ! I only came along with Agent Du because he needed my knowledge about music and human behaviour - NOT my alternate skills ! You overhead him saying that he didn't need my alternate skills earlier, didn't you ? That IS why you had Wade violate my privacy by hacking into GJ's databases, right ? To find out what those skills were ?"
"How did ..." Kim tried to ask.
"Just how stupid do you think I am ?" Vina interrupted, "I never told anyone outside of GJ about how many languages I speak. So the ONLY way you could've known I speak nearly seven thousand languages was if you had Wade illegally acquire that data !
And that sort of thing is precisely WHY I don't trust vigilantes - they have no respect for the law. Or anyone." Vina continued sourly, "You 'think' you can just do anything you want and get away with it just because you're Kim Possible ? That your actions will have no consequences ?"
Then Vina chuckled. "You WILL get what is coming to you, Miss Perfect !" she continued with a grin that would frighten a shark, "Eventually. But let us deal with this little mission first, okay ?
Now, I presume you and Ron can devise something resembling a sensible plan ?" she continued plainly.
Kim gives her an odd look. "Sure. So, you think you or Will can open the door really quickly when I give the word ?"
"Easily." Will replied in a bored tone as he took hold of the handle.
A few moments later, the closest guard heard the door squeak, and turned to look - just in time for the somersaulting Kim Possible to deliver a kick to his head.
The two guards in the left corridor noticed that attack - but not Ron doing a Drunken Monkey roll close to floor - he took them out easily.
The last guard didn't have time to do anything before both Kim AND Ron reached him.
"Well, THAT was easy !" Kim noted as she dusted off her hands, "So, if that's the way out, our stuff and the lyre should be down this corridor !
Uhm, V ? What do you think you're doing ?" she asked when she noticed Vina searching the fallen guards.
"Gearing up of course." she replied plainly, "These guys have transponders so they don't set off the security systems. And some keycards for getting into the more restricted places. Some powercells for their weapons. And - SCORE ! - a blaster in a left-handed holster !"
"Whoa ! You're planning on using a gun ?" Ron asked as Vina expertly twirled a newly acquired gun into its holster, "Not very heroic if you ask me !"
"No one asked you Ron." Vina replied plainly as she adjusted all her new stuff, "This is a serious mission, not an excuse for Kim to showcase just how special she is. I was constructed to mimic an average person. I wasn't born with every conceivable advantage like Kim was. Nor was I handed unlimited mystical power like you were. So I have to take whatever little paltry advantages I can scrounge up. You got a PROBLEM with that ?"
"Not if you're going to be snippy about it ! Sheesh !" Ron demured quickly, "Honestly V, I liked you better the way you were before !"
"Well, SO DO I !" Vina groused back, "Now, let's just find your stuff and recover the lyre so I can get back to being me !"
They carefully peeked into the few open doors until they found a lone guard in a staff room they could jump and ask for information.
"Where is our gear ?" Kim asked the henchman she had pinned to the wall. He looked at her blankly, then said something in a language she didn't understand.
"I think you hit him too hard KP !" Ron noted, "You rattled his brain and now he's speaking gibberish !"
"Uhm, that's not gibberish, Ron ! It's Greek !" Vina stated while rubbing the bridge of her nose, "The native language of people that live in Greece ! You know - WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW ? He wants to know what you want Kim."
"Wonderful." Kim groaned, "Fine ! YOU ask him where our gear is then !"
Vina did as requested and got an answer. "He said to look in that small safe on the wall over there. It should be open."
Ron wandered over and tried to open the small one foot square door, but found it was very hot. Then he noticed the flame symbol on the placard above it. "Hey ! This isn't a safe ! It's a chute that goes to the incinerator !"
After Vina translated Ron's remarks, the captive guard chuckled a bit before saying something. "Do you really think we'd be stupid enough to keep such dangerous gear lying around ? Where anyone could recover it to use against us ?" Vina translated for him, "We destroyed all your gadgets the moment we tossed you in your cell !"
"Isn't that a violation of the villains' code or something ?" Ron groused, and Vina translated. Eliciting a loud belly laugh and more words from their captive.
"Do you think this is some sort of silly game ?" Vina translated, "We're trying to bring our nation back to its former glory ! You can't do that by being nice or giving the 'heroes' all sorts of breaks !
It doesn't matter though." Vina continued to translate, "Once the world sees that not only did we capture GJ's number one agent, but also the great Kim Possible, we won't even need the power of the lyre to command respect and obedience !"
Kim delivered a rather crude knee to his gut to knock him out, stung by being given second billing. TO WILL DU of all people !
"Well, okay, so no gadgets on this mission then." Ron stated glumly, keeping an eye on Kim.
"No big." Kim finally stated before tying up the guard and shoving him into a closet, "The mission will be much harder without our stuff, but we can still win !"
"Yeah, whatever." Vina replied, "So, Agent Du sir ? Did you manage to find a map of this place ?"
"Of course." he replied as he smoothed out a blueprint over the desk, "This lair complex is new, and still under construction. All the paperwork is right here ! So, we just have to keep going down this hall, turn right, then left after the second corridor, then right again."
Minutes later, they were facing a security field, with a door visible at the end of a long corridor protected by motion sensitive lasers.
Kim, of course, somersaulted and flipped through unscathed.
Ron, of course, used the erratic moves of Monkey Kung Fu to easily avoid all the blasts.
"You two better stay there." Kim called back to Will and Vina, "Me and Ron can handle it from here."
"Kim Possible, you are such a show-off." Vina replied before she swiped one of the keycards she stole from the guards through a scanner on the wall, shutting off all the lasers.
"How ... ?" Kim stammered once Vina and Will casually strolled down the hall to them.
"This is a working lair Kim, NOT a deathtrap." Vina replied smugly, "There is no point frying your own minions by accident if you don't have to."
They continued down the halls until they reached another sliding door. "I think they found those guards you knocked out earlier Kim." Vina noted as she tried stolen card after card and have none of them work, "They nulled the clearance on these."
"Well, we knew they'd find those guys eventually." Kim noted, "But why aren't there any alarms going off ?"
"Silent alarms don't spook the intruders." Will noted, "That way, they'll spend more time wandering around. Increases the odds they'll be caught."
Almost on cue, two guards turned the corner behind them, and were about to tell everyone to put their hands up - but Vina managed to get two shots off without turning her head to look. The guards twitched while engulfed by a yellow aura, then dropped to the floor.
"How did you know they were there ?" Ron asked.
"This is a rather narrow hallway Ron." Vina replied, "That was the only place they could have been standing."
"What did you do to them ?" Kim asked as she checked to see if they were still alive.
"Myotonic disruptor, apparently." Vina answered as she examined the still smoking end of her stolen blaster, "Shorts out the human nervous system. Non-lethal, but makes it impossible to move for about twenty minutes. Just the sort of weapon you want to use inside a base, since it cuts down on losses due to friendly fire. And since the blasts are non-lethal, there is no reason NOT to go in guns blazing."
"But using a gun is, like, CHEATING !" Kim scowled at her, "It makes it far too easy ! And how the heck did you know what those things do ?"
"I was constructed to deal with humans, Miss Possible." Vina replied formally, "Humans can be dangerous; therefore, so must I.
I didn't know exactly what these blasters did, but I suspected they were non-lethal. And that was all that really mattered.
And what do you mean, 'cheating' ?" she continued, "Again : this is a serious mission, NOT an excuse for you to show off just how great you are."
"But using a gun is not heroic !" Kim continued, "Name just ONE hero that ever used a gun ! JUST ONE !" she challenged with all the smugness and self-righteous condescension she could muster, SURE she had Vina this time.
"The Lone Ranger." Vina replied plainly, "Annie Oakley. Lara Croft. Riza Hawkeye. Motoko Kusanagi. Samus Aran. Vash the Stampede. Those that survived the Revolutionary War. The War of 1812. The Civil War. World War I. World War II. Vietnam. The Korean War. The Gulf War."
Kim stood there quietly, right eye twitching. Vina was supposed to answer "I can't think of any", which would've given Kim the moral high ground from which to browbeat Vina into submission. To put her back in her 'proper' place. But the darned robot had REFUSED to just roll over and submit to the will of Kim Possible yet again !
"Hey, if YOU want to fight armed guards hand to hand, be my guest !" Vina stated, gaining Kim's attention, "Just don't expect everyone else to follow your silly lead ! Ever hear that old saying : 'never bring a knife to a gunfight' ? You refuse to even bring a knife !"
"Oh, you think you can do this spy stuff better than me ?" Kim challenged.
"Given that I was built specifically for this sort of thing, then yes." Vina replied smugly, "Because of my split processors, I can be just as good at the spy stuff as I am at music - I just can't use both skill sets at the same time. And I hate using those spy skills at all. In fact, the only reason I am using them now is because they grant me the best chance of surviving this little jaunt !"
"You don't like using those skills ? Hmph ! A likely excuse !" Kim retorted.
"Reality is the ultimate excuse Kim." Vina replied, "But, seeing that you think you are 'all that' and a bag of chips, I'll tell you what - how about a friendly little competition ? Me and Agent Du against you and Ron ?"
"You're on !" Kim replied instinctively, "Uhm, what are we competing at ? And what are the stakes ?"
"First team to get the lyre back to GJ headquarters wins." Vina stated, "As to stakes ? How about bragging rights ?"
"Or you two can hammer out the stakes later. AFTER the mission is complete !" Agent Du interjected to get everyone back on track.
And so, the race was on. Both teams snuck through the base, encountering the standard traps and setbacks.
But something strange was going on - by the time Kim and Ron figured out what to do about a sitch, Will and Vina had already solved the problem and moved on.
It was almost as if they'd been transported to some freakish, parallel world where catchphrases and bombastic self-confidence simply weren't enough !
A world where training and experience ... actually MEANT something !
After a few minutes of this, Kim had to concede that maybe - just MAYBE - Vina was good at this sort of thing. Not as good as she was, of course. But still good.
"Uhm, Kim ? I know you're in a hurry to win, but I wouldn't tug on that wire if I were you !" Vina suggested as she watched over her shoulder.
"Hey ! I've been doing this for years !" Kim sniped back, "The red wire ALWAYS shorts out the security system and opens the door !"
"Not this time Kim !" Vina replied, "Professor Prometheus is color blind, so he'd NEVER make the correct wire red or green !"
"And just HOW would you know something like that ?" Kim snarked back.
"Because I STAYED for the briefing !" Vina replied, "I asked questions. And actually LISTENED to the answers."
"Yeah, right !" Kim snapped back as she pulled the red wire loose.
Vents at the top and bottom of the walls opened up, filling the corridor with thick, sickenly-sweet knockout gas.
Since Vina didn't breathe anymore (and was immune to gas even before being rebuilt), she faked being unconscious when the gas-mask wearing guards poured into the room to capture them.
But instead of being taken back to their cell, the goons carried them to an indoor amphitheatre and tied them to four posts before leaving.
"They must have some special plans for us." Vina mused to herself before she felt something crawling on her leg.
After flailing about for a few moments, she took a closer look.
"Rufus ? What are you doing over here ?" she said once she calmed down, "Why aren't you trying to untie Kim and Ron ?"
Rufus chittered a bit, then lolled out his tongue, cocked his head to the side and made a snoring sound.
"Still out from the gas, eh ?" Vina stated, "Well, they should be waking up on their own in a few minutes. But there is something very important they have to know - so listen carefully !
There is a flaw in the Professor's plan. A BIG ONE !" she continued, "Kim and Ron can easily 'save the day' by pretending to be tied up until just the right moment to strike !"
Rufus gestured and chittered a bit, finally shrugging his shoulders and looking at her with a questioning expression.
"Oh, they'll know when the time is right. Believe me !" Vina answered his question.
With that, Rufus cautiously crept away to help Kim and Ron as soon as they woke up.
Vina took note of the various henchmen carting in sound equipment, generators and tangles of cable.
"Definitely up to something big ..." she noted silently to herself as she began to carefully work her hands free of her bonds. Within a minute she was free, but remained exactly as she was before (so as to not draw the attention of the whole freaking squad of henchmen milling about !)
Kim awoke with a headache, a horrible taste in her mouth and a burning that went up into her sinuses. She tried to move, but discovered she was sitting down, tied to a post. She looked about, counted the number of goons and noted their positions as she began to formulate a plan.
Ron groaned as he awoke, tied to a post a few feet away from her. "What happened this time KP ?" he asked.
"Knockout gas." she replied plainly, "Never run into that inside a lair before."
"These guys are a bit more competent than the goons we're used to fighting." he noted, "So, you have a plan for getting out of this ?"
"Working on it Ron !" she answered before taking note of all the equipment they were lugging about. "They must be planning on using the lyre on us, then broadcast it to the world or something." she noted to Ron.
"That would make sense." Ron replied as he tried to wriggle free of his bonds, but they held. He thought about powering up the old Monkey Magic, but then he felt Rufus on his shoulder.
"Glad to see you buddy !" she exclaimed as quietly as he could, "Think you can get these ropes loose ?"
Rufus nodded vigorously and gave him a thumbs up, then started chittering and gesturing.
"What's that all about Ron ?" Kim asked.
"He said there's a major flaw in the Prof's plan, and if we act like we're still tied up until just the right time, we can win !"
Kim thought about that for a moment. "Supervillains do love to gloat. If we just wait until everyone's distracted listening to him, we can sneak off no prob !" she mused to herself, smiling all the while, "THEN we can take them out a few at a time instead of fighting all of them at once ! We'll win this little contest for sure ! "
Rufus scurried behind Ron's post as the various guards stopped what they were doing to salute the person in bronze armor that just came in.
"The full body armor is a new look for you, Myklos !" Will noted, "Expecting some serious combat action ?"
"It is combat that I am NOT expecting that worries me, Agent Du." Myklos Mylonas aka 'Professor Prometheus' replied, "A damned robot tried to kill me last week !"
"A robot ?" Kim piped up, "Looked like a woman with blonde hair ? With a glowing stone on its chest, forehead or base of the throat ?"
"Aye." he replied, "This one had a green stone at the base of its throat. Used a hologram to disguise its appearance until it was in close. Good thing I make it a point to know everyone that works for me on a first name basis !"
"That explains the vastly increased patrols then." Will noted, "Making sure she doesn't show up to try again."
"Darned right !" the Prof replied as he walked up a series of steps onto a raised platform in the middle of the room, "But I will have nothing further to worry about once GJ's best agent AND Team Possible work for me !"
Kim nearly bit her tongue holding her temper in check.
Vina took the Prof's words as a cue to begin compressing her spy programs and reactivating her musician subroutines. Usually, this would be suicidal in a situation like this, but Agent Du was right : once Kim Perfect is on the case, EVERYONE ELSE BECOMES IRRELEVANT AND FORGOTTEN !
Vina had spy skills; but now that Kim Perfect was here, those skills were now completely irrelevant. Thus no need to maintain them further.
Now that Kim Perfect was here, Vina's EXISTENCE was now completely irrelevant. She and Will might as well pack up and go home for all the difference it would make (or for all anyone would care).
Thus, paradoxically, being a Nobody meant Vina was safe !
Prof Prometheus took off his heavy bronze gloves and gently removed the Lyre of Orpheus from a crate his guards held for him.
"Is that scene from 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' running through your head too KP ?" Ron asked her.
"I'm pretty sure it's not going to get that bad Ron !" she replied, "From what Wade told me, nothing in the stories about Orpheus have him doing anything like that !"
"Is this 'the right time' ?" Ron asked.
"Not just yet ..." Kim replied as watched Prometheus fiddle with a music stand.
"And now - your hearts, minds and souls belong to me !" he exclaimed as he played a chord on the lyre; everyone winced because he'd struck a very sour note !
"What the ... ? Why isn't this working ?" he asked the nearest guards in his native Greek and tried again (just as badly), "You're SURE this is the Lyre of Orpheus, RIGHT ?"
"We had it certified several times sir !" one guard replied nervously, "That is the actual lyre once owned by Orpheus."
"Then why isn't it working ?" he ranted as he tried to play a few more notes (and faring no better), "This is SUPPOSED to grant me beyond mortal skill !"
The guards turned their attention to their leader for just a moment; THAT was the great flaw Vina knew about, and the break Kim had been waiting for !
She didn't know what they were saying, or quite what was going on yet, but the fact everyone was distracted was enough of an opening for her.
And although the guards outnumbered her and Ron fifty to one, AND were well armed and well trained, they fell as nothing before the combined might of Kim Perfect and the Fist of the Monkey God.
Pretty much as Vina knew they would.
Once Kim was sure all the goons were securely tied up, she tried strumming a few notes on the lyre. "Looks like your intel was way off there Prof !" she stated smugly when nothing odd happened, then set it back in its crate.
Vina picked it up and examined it closely, enjoying the feel of possibly the most exquisitely crafted instrument the world will ever see.
Ron noticed that, but figured there was nothing to worry about - after all, if Kim couldn't get it to work, THEN NO ONE COULD !
Vina began playing a very complex series of notes and chords.
"Wow ! When did it get so sunny in here ?" Ron asked Kim.
"Uhm, Ron ? WE'RE INDOORS ! AND IT'S NIGHT !" Kim replied as she turned to look at Vina.
Who was currently levitating inside a wide beam of golden light, with spinning spheres of light dancing around her as she continued to play.
"All of your intel was accurate, but incomplete." she stated, "This lyre was once owned by Orpheus. And some of his power was absorbed by the lyre. But how much can be summoned depends on the SKILL OF THE PERSON PLAYING IT ! It does NOT grant the skill to play it - that must be EARNED through actual work !"
She turned and looked at Prof Prometheus. "Did you actually believe that merely POSSESSING the lyre was enough ?
And you, Kim !" she continued, "Did you seriously BELIEVE that you would be handed great power SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU'RE KIM POSSIBLE ?"
"Just put the lyre down and no one will get hurt !" Kim commanded as she and Ron went into fighting stances.
"I think I should handle this one KP !" Ron noted, "She's using magic. Magic defeats magic, and I've got Monkey Magic to spare !"
Kim mulled it over a bit. "Just be careful Ron ! We don't know what she's capable of !"
"Gotcha KP !" he replied with a thumbs-up, before concentrating as he strode forward. He was soon engulfed in a blue, monkey-shaped aura.
Vina changed the tune slightly - it now sounded like a lullaby. Ron staggered, yawned, then sat down heavily. Within moments he fell over and began snoring loudly.
"Well, THAT bit of silly bravado was completely unnecessary !" Vina stated, "The lyre has the power to soothe savage beasts, remember ? By summoning his monkey magic, he made himself MORE susceptible to the lyre's power !
And just WHAT made you 'think' such brute force was even necessary Kim ?" she asked, "You were seriously going to BEAT ME UP ? WHY ?"
"I asked you to hand over the lyre. You didn't." Kim replied, "I am asking you for the last time : PLEASE hand over the lyre before someone gets hurt ! You are dealing with powers you don't understand !"
"You didn't ask, you COMMANDED." Vina noted, "You have yet to justify the use of brute force against me.
And what makes you think you understand these powers better than I do ? Why do you think they are so dangerous that I must be deprived of them ?"
"You hate me. You now have god-like power. What were we supposed to do - wait for you to lash out with it ?" Kim answered, using her ego to overpower the call of Vina's music (which was completely unnecessary - Vina was only using the lyre to keep Ron asleep, and doing nothing to Kim).
"Do you always assume that anyone that doesn't fawn all over you hates you ?" Vina asked, glaring at Kim, "After everything you've been through these past few weeks, even you can't be this slow-witted and self-absorbed !"
"I am NOT self-absorbed !" Kim yelled back, circling for a better position, "And for your information, I was class valedictorian !"
"Believe it or not Kim, NO ONE NEEDS YOUR PERMISSION TO BE GOOD AT ANYTHING !" Vina replied as the music got lower and more ominous, "OR TO DO USEFUL OR IMPORTANT THINGS ! You do NOT have the authority to keep others down ! So please STOP ACTING LIKE IT !"
Kim glared at her, then at Agent Du. "Will ! Even you should have known this could happen ! Why did you bring her along ? And why aren't you doing something ?"
"When trying to recover a magical instrument, bringing along someone that can actually play it is just good sense." Will stated plainly.
"I wish I had thought of it !" the trussed-up Professor Prometheus added from the floor, before noting Kim's expression and wisely shutting up.
"And since you believe that you are better at saving the world than all of GJ put together, why would you want or need my help ?" he stated with a shrug before turning to start dragging unconscious thugs outside to be picked up, "YOU appointed yourself the alpha dog here; YOU deal with her."
Sometimes, Kim absolutely hated it when she got what she wanted ...
She looked at Vina again, plotting out a strategy. "Her spy skills are ALMOST as good as mine." she mused to herself, "But add supernatural powers to that, she could become a serious threat !
So, for the good of the world, she has to be taken down !" she continued, "BEFORE she can unlock more of that lyre's powers ! It's the only way to be safe !"
"What's the matter Kim ? Scared to fight when you DON'T have all the advantages ?" Vina taunted as she changed the music to a minor key.
"I'm Kim Possible ! I ALWAYS have the advantage !" Kim replied, noticing the shadows now looked much too dark and animated. But, on the plus side, Vina wasn't playing that lullaby anymore - Ron was beginning to stir !
"Yeah, whatever. I'm outta here ! Ta !" Vina stated plainly and played a sequence of echoing phantom chords. The shadows converged in a circle beneath her, and she dropped right into them - SEEMINGLY RIGHT THROUGH THE FLOOR !
And before the notes could fade, someone else dropped up through the hole before it closed. It was Tina.
"Hmmm - so this is Greece. Nice." she stated plainly as she looked around.
"What the heck just happened ?" Kim asked as she helped Ron get up.
"Celestial Gate." Tina replied, "The Greek Underworld touches all parts of our world. So V just used it as a quick tunnel through spacetime to exchange places with me."
Before Kim or Ron could respond, Agent Du returned, and did a double take when he noticed Tina was here.
"Vina used the power of the lyre to exchange places with me so you wouldn't be shorthanded here." Tina answered his unspoken question.
"Well, the objective was to recover the lyre." Will noted, "In that, we were successful. Rather unorthodox way to get back to headquarters though."
"True." Tina replied, "May I be of assistance ?" she asked, gesturing at the many unconscious henchman lying about.
"No, I've got things handled here. But thanks for the offer." Will answered before getting back to getting everyone outside to be picked up.
"Oh, by the way Kim, Vina asked me to relay a message to you." Tina stated.
"Uhm, what ?" Kim had to ask.
"You lost." Tina replied with a broad grin, "The bet was 'first team to get the lyre back to GJ headquarters wins', right ? She's back at GJ headquarters, handing the lyre to Dr Director even as we speak !"
"Hey ! She cheated !" Ron interrupted, "WE got it away from the Prof first ! Vina grabbed it when no one was looking ! And using magic is cheating !"
"You cheated first then." Tina noted with a shrug, "You DID power up your Monkey Magic to deal with all those henchmen, right ?"
"That doesn't matter !" Kim interceded, "We could have recovered the lyre WITHOUT her help, but she and Will couldn't have done it without us ! So we actually won !"
"Do you own the sun, Miss Possible ?" Tina inquired in a rather depressed tone.
Kim and Ron looked at each other. "Say what ?" they both asked.
"A true hero is not diminished by the heroism of others, Kim." Tina stated without looking at her, "As long as good is being done, why should it matter who does it ? Why are you so unwilling to let anyone else have their hard-won time in the sun ?"
"Because she didn't earn it !" Kim retorted, "She can have her time in the sun just as soon as she saves the world a few hundred times like I have !"
"I follow the Taoist traditions, Miss Possible." she continued, "I try to be above petty anger and provocations. But your constant abuse of my little sister is wearing on my nerves ! Even Bodhidharma would lose patience with you !"
"Me ? Abusing HER ?" Kim stammered back (making a mental note to see who Bodhidharma WAS later), "YOU have got it exactly backwards ! SHE is abusing ME !"
"And what, pray tell, has she ever done to you ?" Tina asked coldly.
Kim fumed for a few moments, trying to figure out a way to answer that question without sounding petty or self-centered. "She shows me no respect at all !"
"What have you done to earn her respect ?" Tina inquired.
"EARN HER RESPECT ?" Kim yelled back, "I saved her life ! If anything, she should be doing more to earn MY respect !"
"What would you have her do ?" Tina asked, "Dance around you like a hyperactive puppy, singing your praises until you got sick of listening to her ? Only to have you turn her gratitude aside with your 'faux humility' routine ?"
"My what ?" Kim asked.
"Your standard 'oh, it was no big !' bit. How would it go this time ? 'It was no big ! ANYONE could have had a supergenius friend invent a battlesuit, then fight off dozens of the most dangerous robots the world has seen to date !'
You know, your 'no big !' routine is actually rather insulting when you stop to think about it !" Tina continued.
"ExCUSE me ?" Kim replied, tensing up.
"If you saved someone from drowning in the Amazon, and he thanked you, you'd reply 'it was no big ! ANYONE could have swum a quarter mile through piranha infested waters !', right ?"
Kim nodded, wondering where this was going.
"The fact he NEEDED help proves that not just anyone can do it." Tina noted, "So the statement 'ANYONE could have done it !' is therefore proven false. After all, if anyone could have done it, he would not have needed your help doing it.
On the other hand, if 'just anyone' could have done it, the fact he could not clearly implies he must be far below average."
"But none of that is what I intend at all !" Kim replied, "I don't put anyone down !"
"What you intend and what others infer are not necessarily the same thing." Tina replied, "For instance, you ASSUMED Vina was going to harm you, even when she wasn't.
You ASSUME she and Bonnie have nothing better to do with their lives than plotting ways to get back at you. Even though they are not.
You ASSUMED Nina was hiding secrets from you - and you nearly killed her by slapping a mind control device on her to get to them !
You ASSUMED Vina lacked the strength of character to hand the lyre over to Dr Director willingly and without a fight.
You ASSUMED you had the authority to order her around on this mission you 'stole' from Agent Du. You ASSUMED she would follow without question - and got tweaked when she did not.
You ASSUMED your skills were far greater than hers - and got tweaked when they were not."
"Okay ! That is IT !" Kim shouted as she dropped into a fighting stance, "I am sick and tired of taking abuse from you three ! It's about time someone put you in your place !"
"Uhm, KP ? What has gotten into you ?" Ron asked, sounding a bit concerned for Kim's mental welfare.
"The only reason T and her sisters are 'alive' is BECAUSE OF ME !" Kim replied, "If I hadn't given them a good word when GJ asked, they'd be in prison or dismantled by now ! They OWE me respect and appreciation and gratitude, but show me none whatsoever !"
"But we thought you didn't WANT adoration !" Tina replied, "After all, if we thanked you, you'd just say 'IT WAS NO BIG !' So what would be the point of thanking you, if all you're going to do is wave it off ? And if it truly is 'no big', why all the fuss ? Your no-win sitch is most absurd indeed !"
Kim finally lost her temper and decided to attack. "Allright - THAT'S IT ! YOU'RE GOING ... OOOOFFF !"
Ron blinked a few times, trying to figure out what just happened - first, Tina had been standing way over there; now, she was in sitting on floor, legs crossed, just in front of Kim. With her fist buried wrist-deep into Kim's abdomen ! He hadn't even seen her move !
Kim wanted to fight back, but her world got all grey and wobbly before she passed out from the pain.
"What the heck just happened ?" Ron asked as Tina got back to her feet with a slow motion one-handed handstand.
"The Fangs of Shadow strike, Cobra stance." Tina replied plainly, "Like its namesake, it hits so fast most people can't even see it.
Now then, Ronald." she continued, cracking her knuckles and smirking at him, "If you're going to put someone 'in their place', you really should know what that place is !"
"You've been holding back this much THE WHOLE TIME ?" Ron exclaimed once he figured out just how skilled Tina must be, backing away while getting in a fighting stance.
"The truly great - and those confident in their abilities - have no desire or need to show off," Tina began, standing yards in front of Ron.
"... but since vulgar displays are the only things you two seem to understand ..." she continued, whispering in his ear FROM BEHIND while poking his back three times -
Ron delivered a spinning punch, but hit nothing.
"... I suppose I will have to show off a little. Sorry." she finished with a polite Chinese bow, standing back where she was before. That was the last thing Ron heard before the pain in his spine engulfed him.
"So that's what San She Quan looks like when used ?" Agent Du asked when he returned for more bound goons.
"Why do you sound so surprised ?" Tina asked, "In a world where ninjas can turn invisible while you're watching them, or levitate, or break living stone with a single kick, why should skills like mine be so unexpected ?
In a world where a hyperactive teenager with no training whatsoever can outclass everyone at everything, why should I NOT be quite good at something I study and devote my life to ?"
"Valid points all." Will replied, "They are going to be quite upset with you and your sisters when they regain consciousness though."
"No matter how loud the winds may howl, the mountain cannot bend to it." Tina replied cryptically, "So let them rage."
