Mathias drove Niels home after he woke up. Niels felt well rested and never felt better. His head was placed on Mathias' shoulder as he stroked the man's leg playfully and every once in awhile he would sneak a kiss on Mathias neck. He felt so relaxed and content next to the Dane. Niels was glad that he took Mathias up on his offer. If he hadn't Niels would already be on the street looking for a man to buy him. Shivering inwardly, Niels tried to forget all those years of selling himself.
When they pulled into the parking lot, the two of them held hands up the stairs, Niels purposely bumping into Mathias, making the man stumble. They started a light game that made them giggle, tripping and bumping the other lightly into the wall. Niels halted when he spotted his door open. A cold shiver went down his spine and his brain fell into stomach. Getting his legs to work again, Niels bounded down the hall swinging the door open.
The house was pitch black with Eirik's TV flickered from his bedroom. "Eirik?" he called, his voice strained. From the low lighting, Niels could see the disarray of his house. Shaking Niels walked in, only to trip the next second. Falling to the ground he saw a dark mass in front of him. "Eirik!" he shouted taking his brother by the shoulders, shaking him. He could feel something cold and wet gathering on his clothing which made his heart beat wildly in alarm. Moments later Mathias flicked on the lights. It was then that he noticed that Eirik's body was too limp as he shook him, trying to wake him. Sobbing, Niels jerked one of his hands away seeing the unfocussed, dilated eyes of Eirik staring back at him with a bloodied gash on the side of his head.
His chest constricted so much he couldn't breathe; taking his brother in his arm he pulled Eirik to him, feeling the warmth that was still in his torso but not in his limbs. Chocking sobs began to escape Niels' lips as he tried to form words but couldn't.
Xxx
It took several second to Mathias to realise what was happening right in front of him. Seconds ago, he had been the happiest man on earth, playfully walking hand in hand with his relieved lover and yet…
The Dane threw himself on his knees right next to the duo and rapidly pressing his hands on Eirik's cold neck, shakily trying to find his pulse. But he couldn't… it was so cold, the boy was lifeless...
Trembling, the Dane stood back up, clenching his fingers in his hair as his eyes filled with painful tears and he grabbed his phone, calling for an ambulance. Minutes later, way too long for their content, paramedics tried to reanimate the boy's unmoving body with a defibrillator, but they didn't even need to take the boy to the hospital. They said he was dead for too long for it wasn't worth it to bring him to the hospital.
Their hopeful dream had turned into a real nightmare in one nanosecond. Mathias returned next to Niels, giving him soothing strokes while he was still caressing his brother's for ever inanimate body.
Police officers came a little bit later, invading the entire apartment to collect samples and invading their mourning bubble and eventually they tried to pull Niels away from his brother's corpse.
Xxx
When the police tried to pull him away, Niels retaliated slapping the hand away. He didn't and couldn't let go of Eirik. His brother was all he had. Wiping Eirik's bloodied hair he placed a kiss on the cool forehead and began shaking and sobbing all over again. Beneath it all, his brain raged trying to figure out how this could have happened. It didn't take long to realize this was Berwald's doing. Clutching his brother's body closer to him, Niels let out a few choked words.
Niels had started this life in hopes of giving his brother a better one. But it was this lifestyle that had in the end taken his brother away from Niels. The police officer tried again to pull them apart, and Niels swung him, connecting with the cops face. Instantly, Niels was tackled to the floor, his face being pushed into the drying and congealing blood. Somehow though, he heard Mathias plead to let him go. That's when he felt Mathias' strong arms wrap around his body. Weeping, he turned half his face into Mathias' chest, keeping his eyes on Eirik as he watched one of the police step forward and close his brother's eyes. They only shut half way and his blue eyes kept peering behind them.
Trembling and crying into Mathias' chest, Niels finally allowed the men on the site cover the body and place his brother on the stretcher and wheel him away. The cops continued to ask questions, but by then, Niels had gone so numb with grief he could only hear the rumbling of Mathias' voice.
Xxx
Mathias sure could understand in a way just how deeply wounded Niels could be from this. If the Dane lost one of his siblings he wouldn't be as shaken as this. He had plenty of them and especially losing a younger one wouldn't hurt him as much as Niels losing Eirik. This wasn't fair… Niels was now left with nothing. He had been ready to drop his deviant life style and Mathias was ready to take Niels' hand to save both his brother and he. And in the end, the innocent of the two had seen his life taken away.
Though, Mathias could guess what had happened, but he also didn't have the same insight as Niels.
He answered the cops' questions the best he could, soothing the sobbing Norwegian's in his arms as he stared at Eirik's body wrapped into a corpse bad being taken out of the apartment while most of the inspectors were leaving. Though, Mathias avoided speaking about the drug dealing affaire, simply mentioning that they previously had problems with dangerous people. Otherwise, all of this story would fall on Niels' shoulders.
And in the end, they weren't out of danger.
The officers proposed them to go in a hotel until they would feel good enough to come back in the apartment, but Mathias would simply take Niels back to his own place. Though, they were both taken out and asked to come back to the morgue to decide what they would do with the boy's body. The Dane wouldn't make the decision in Niels' place. Though, he knew they wouldn't stay here longer, and by here, he meant in Norway. They had didn't have the money to buy a coffin and make a little ceremony to bury the boy. Thus, the best solution was to incinerate him and take the ashes with them.
Xxx
Covered in his own brother's blood Niels collapsed onto Mathias' bed. His body was too dehydrated to cry, yet the feeling was still there as if he were. And his chest would not stop constricting no matter how much he tried to breath. Mathias lay next to him and tried to sooth Niels to sleep. But his eyes remained open and hardly blinking. Mathias eventually turned off the light and went back to stroking Niels' hair. However the Dane was able to fall asleep while Niels remained awake.
Not once did he fall asleep that night. Niels only knew that it was morning once again when Mathias woke up and lead Niels to the shower. He followed like a mindless corpse and stood in the hot water unmoving watching the dried blood flood down to his feet creating a pink pool of water. Watching it wash away he couldn't help but feel as if that was the last of Eirik swirling down the drain. Tears ran down his face once again, but they were hidden in the hot stream of water.
Like a child he wrapped his arms around Mathias' soaped up body. But soon, he regained his composer. Sniffling, Niels asked in a coarse voice, "Do you think I should even bother telling my parents that..." his voice trailed off.
Xxx
Mathias sternly and slowly shook the head, "They don't deserve to know," he said, "They don't deserve to see him," he finished as he wrapped his arms back around the man and gently rocked him. He washed him, scrubbing his numb body with soap and shampooed his hair. The most heartbreaking thing in this story was Niels. The only sight of him looking completely helpless and downed was bringing tears to Mathias' eyes… and Eirik.
Fuck damn it, why?!
The Dane could almost only feel anger about this. Boiling anger. If he were to see the person who had done this to the younger brother, he would kill him, literally. Nothing would sooth Niels' pain, for sure… only time. It wasn't like he had passed away from an incurable illness, or if it had been an accident, or even a suicide; he had been murdered; coldly murdered for no reasons against him.
By only chance that Berwald guy didn't know about the Dane, or if he did, he hopefully didn't know where he lived. They would stay there for all the time they needed for Mathias to get immigration papers for Niels. Oh no, they weren't staying here. School wasn't even in the equation now. It was mainly Niels' life that was in danger now.
Finishing their shower, Mathias took care of the Norwegian the best he could. Even before he willingly wanted to take care of him like he was some precious pearl, to force him to rest and such. But now it was a necessity; the man acted like lead and wouldn't do a thing by himself, or almost. Like a living dead.
Leaving Niels in his room after having changed the covers for neater ones, he went to the kitchen to make a quick very light meal, only for the Norwegian to eat a little something even if it was obvious he wouldn't be hungry. At least, some water…
Sitting next to him in the bed and laying a plate of fruit next to him, he sighed, closing his eyes, "Niels," he said in a soft voice, "We need to take ye outta here."
Xxx
He took the water from Mathias' hand and drank it down on one go. "Go where." he said in a disinterested voice. His whole life had been centered around Eirik. Now with his little brother dead, he had nothing. Yet Mathias was suggesting to go somewhere while Niels couldn't think or see past his own nose. "I did this to him." he said weakly. "Because of my decisions I did this to him." he bent over in a sob.
With the water he just drank, new tears formed and he couldn't stop. But behind his hands, Niels kept talking, "I killed my own little brother even though I was just trying to make money so he could live with me. I didn't want him to go to some home or stay with my parents. I didn't even need the drugs, I could have done all that without it if I wasn't such a weak pathetic piece of shit." his voice went high pitch as his voice constricted.
Once again he felt Mathias holding him. It was soothing in some way, but his heart still constricted painfully. "Where should I go." he spoke between sobs. An evil feeling was pooling in his gut, one that wanted to lash out against Mathias just so he could feel better. But he kept his mouth shut and swallowed that bitter poison because in reality, if Mathias wasn't there he would have over dosed on drugs.
Xxx
Slightly trembling while trying to sooth Niels and try get him to calm down, the Dane softly spoke, a bit shaky, "We… can go to my parents in Denmark…"
It was probably the best place he could come up with since they didn't have money to go anywhere else, "God knows what can happen to ye Niels… ye're not safe in Norway…" he choked, trying to swallow his tears. It was so hard damn it to be the strong one here! All the shit happening, and Eirik dying like this, all of this was so unfair, he wanted to smash the walls, break bones, and kill those bastards who had pulled death upon Niels' only family.
But he had to stay cool for Niels. He didn't need a crying man with him. All he needed was comfort and that was what Mathias wanted to give him and was trying to.
"Ye need to flee."
Xxx
Hiccupping Niels buried his face into Mathias. Even though he was no good, Mathias still wanted to help him. It was so strange to have someone stretching out their hand to him. Nodding slowly, he agreed. There was nothing more Niels could say or do. But inside, he promised himself he would kill Berwald if it were the last thing he ever did.
Eirik didn't deserve to die. He was just a kid still in high school. Never in his life did Niels believe that Berwald was the type of man that could kill innocent kids. It was clear he never knew the man. Niels wanted the throw up knowing that back in college the two of them had many times had wild romps between classes.
"I'll do whatever you say." he said defeated. Niels didn't have room to think, only grieve. Besides, he knew that he could trust Mathias.
Xxx
Mathias felt a bit relieved that he wouldn't have to fight with the man. Though, this new chapter was pushing aside their eventual life as a couple for another long period. He couldn't simply act selfishly and impose himself over the Norwegian right after he had lost the most cherish person he had in his life, it would be insane. All the Dane could do was to guide him out of the country and secure him until things would sooth up and that they either could return to school or simply continue a normal life.
What was normality anyway…?
"What will ye do with him?" he slowly asked, swallowing thickly. He personally thought that it wasn't worth it to bury him on a land that had killed him… but he would go with the Norwegian's decision, "They won't keep him forever… they want a decision tomorrow…"
He caressed the man's cheek and returned to gently rock him in his arms while rubbing his back and stroking his hair.
Xxx
Niels flinched thinking about burying his brother or burning his body. Thinking about his brother in any other way that wasn't living killed him. Taking a shaky breath Niels said in a solemn voice, "I have 12000 kroner. The least I could do is to give my brother a proper burying." he clenched his fists. "But... I'm selfish and we need that money. I will have him cremated." he said so slowly and sternly that it scared Niels.
His eyes looked up to Mathias, begging for the man to tell him if he was making the right decision. Eirik was probably looking down on him in shame at this moment. But at least, Eirik never found out Niels shame. "I want to go to sleep." Niels said suddenly, sure that he wouldn't sleep one ounce. But he didn't want to talk about his brother, he didn't want to think of his body burning to ashes.
In his mind he could see Eirik with those half closed eyes staring up at the incinerating chamber before the flames enveloped his body, burning his pale skin and hair to ash. Niels felt like throwing up.
Xxx
It was certainly the best decision Niels could have made. Sure they needed the money, but even with it and knowing they would be leaving soon for Denmark, Mathias couldn't imagine the Norwegian leaving his brother in Norway while he would go in Denmark.
He slowly nodded, kissing the man's lips, softly, and slowly undressed him for bed, doing the same thing for himself. He pulled the covers back on them and enlaced the other male from behind, wrapping his arms around his little shaking frame.
Soon, everything would be alright… as soon as they would pass the Danish' borders, everything would be alright.
The next day, Mathias did all the procedures for Niels' immigration in Denmark. Luckily, both countries were not part of the Euro and, this way, they could really easily simply pass the borders without much problem. It was, in fact, easier to go in Denmark than to come in Norway. Right after, they went to the morgue to pay for the cremation and bought an urn, a beautiful little urn which they could bring with them. They took a moment before leaving the place, regaining their composure, especially Niels', before they went back home to get some rest.
Mathias called his parents, informing them he would come back to the family home and asking them to prepare him a place to stay. As little as it would be he didn't mind. He simply hoped they wouldn't stay there too long before going back in an apartment. Mathias planned to work with his father.
At least, Niels would be have security there… as long as they didn't show affection in front of his family members.
They had still two days left before leaving Norway.
Xxx
Niels went back to his apartment on the last day, taking care of his things, and Eirik's. It was the most painful thing in his life. Because his brother's clothes fit better on his frame, Niels ended up throwing away his clothes instead of Eirik's. It felt eerie to smell his brother's scent on him, but he wasn't exactly willing to toss his little brother's things in the dumpster. So, in all reality it was the perfect remedy for Niels.
Going through Eirik's things, he emptied his room keeping only minute things such as letters and class assignments. Reading through his things, he found out that Eirik had a sweetheart, which made Niels feel sick. He hadn't known, but it explained why his brother was never home recently. Even though they were private notes between two people in some unknown class, Niels tucked each one he found away between romantic words, dirty things, and fights. The last thing he took was the video game console he had bought a few weeks back, barely worn from Eirik.
Mathias had rented a small trailer which the two of them fought to move the couch back down stairs. Which was a lot easier than pushing upstairs, or so Mathias told Niels. Even though Niels was no longer crying uncontrollably, he felt too tired and weak to properly speak. He mainly communicated with Mathias threw nods and grunts. The couch and the few bags Niels collected from his own apartment were the first things they placed in the trailer. As soon as they got back they would be emptying Mathias' apartment.
In a way, Niels was glad that he was leaving Norway. Seeing things that had once saw with Eirik was killing him. Never had Niels felt so grateful for another human being. Mathias was a saint to put up with Niels' foul moods and sudden tears. Eirik might as well have been his own kid, that's how much he had raised him.
Xxx
Looking at Niels gather all his brother's stuff was painful to see. He looked so destroyed, and he would take endless amount of time to choose whether or not he should bring his things.
They did the same with the Dane's apartment, though, they left many things behind. They simply took all the more practical stuff they had; only the best fridge, the best oven, all the best furniture and packed the trailer. Mathias went to break their lease, paying for the next months they couldn't pay with a part of their remaining cash, and in the end, were only left with enough to pay their fuel to travel all the way to Denmark.
And soon, they left.
The Dane had rapidly looked at the ferry schedules, and so, they would have fewer roads to do. During the trip to the ferry, they stayed mostly silent. Niels had Eirik's urn on his lap, and looking at him by the corner of the eye always made his heart constrict.
Though, after many hours, Mathias broke the silence, "Everythin' will be alright… I promise," he simply said, hoping it could sooth some worries or anything, "We'll stay at my family for the time we get enough money to leave…"
Xxx
Niels nodded silently he had only eyes for the urn in his lap. It was tiny and blue, enough that wouldn't be a burden when moving. Niels had purchased a much bigger one and had it sent to his parents' family home. Whenever they returned to Norway, they would see a white urn with the name 'Eirik' stamped at the bottom. Only then, would they know that they only had one son left. He imagined their bitch of a mother would take the vase and toss the ashes in the garden. But that was okay, Eirik wouldn't mind, he and Eirik had spent a lot of time in that garden.
Holding the urn in one hand, Niels leaned over and kissed Mathias for the first time since the night of Eirik's death. "Thank you for everything." he whispered against his lips. Mathias' human presence was a god send. Who knew how long Niels would have lasted without him. Unbuckling himself, Niels scooted over to Mathias, feeling the other man's arm wrap around him. He delivered a few more small kisses on the man's neck before smothering his face in his neck.
Murmuring softly, Niels confessed, "Danish can sometimes be really hard for me to understand." he laughed sadly. Niels knew he was in for a world of hurt trying to get a handle of that garbled language. At least Mathias took the effort to pronounce his words in a Norwegian like manner. But now he was crossing the channel to Danish territory and he would have to listen to the harsher version of his own language.
Xxx
Every time Niels would show gratitude toward the Dane, Mathias would feel some weight fade over his shoulders. He was always scared he wasn't doing the right thing and hearing Niels thank him was probably the best thing he could hear at the moment. He simply smirked, pulling him a tad closer to kiss him temple. They stayed there sitting in the car while waiting for the boat to take them to Danish soil.
"Ye'll get the twist… I'll help ye," he said cheerfully, shifting his position to be more comfortable, backing up his seat to put his knees on the steering wheel, "I still have difficulties with Norwegian sometimes I have to admit," he giggled at the obviousness. He closed his eyes a moment, silently sighing and cracked them back open. He didn't feel like going back home. He felt like he should warn Niels about his family, about all the things he could witness there and especially about how they shouldn't behave in front of his parents, especially his very conservative father, but he couldn't…
He didn't want to brusque things between them, he wasn't even sure yet if Niels was that attached to him.
The only thing he could find to say was, "Just hope ye don't mind being surrounded by children…" and gave the man a smirk.
Xxx
Niels wasn't one who liked children. Eirik had been the type of child that was quiet and behaved. Most kids got on Niels' nerves quick. But for Mathias' sake he lied, "I'll be fine." even though he could feel the imminent head ache approaching.
Looking over the dashboard, he could see the sandy beaches of Denmark. Clutching Eirik closer to his chest, Niels could feel his old life fleeing from between his fingers. Clearing his throat he spoke slowly, "When we get settled I'll go to the clinic and get myself checked out like you asked." Not to mention he would seek help for his cocaine addiction. For the week and a half he hadn't snorted the stuff, Niels had suffered through many irritable sweating attacks. He craved it and also had a nasty thirst for alcohol. Mathias had been smart enough to keep both out of his reach for no doubt Niels would drink himself to death if allowed.
"You still haven't told me what you and your dad do." he whispered after a moment.
Xxx
Mathias was happy Niels was willing to take himself without him having to force him to. Well, in a way, he kind of was… but in the end, the Norwegian was agreeing and showing his good will to help himself. That was a really soothing feeling.
"I'll go with ye… I need to go too," Mathias said, not insinuating anything, but still felt like he needed to go. A strange feeling of 'the condom wasn't thick enough' was crawling in his mind and he didn't like it.
At the question, Mathias lightly chuckled and dropped his head backward, "Carpentry," he said, raising an eyebrow, "I worked with him for almost three years before goin' at the College in Norway." He shrugged, sighing, "I'll go back into it… it pays real good when ye get good relations and high links, and with my dad, I'll make money like water," he laughed, turning the head to face the Norwegian. He leaned again to kiss him, and soon, they reached the docks and left the ferry. Many hours again flew before they reached Copenhagen. His family had finally settled in a calm neighbourhood, in a big house his father had build, big enough so everyone had their own room, or almost, for the older children at least.
The Dane didn't know if they had kept his room, but anyway, he still planed on stealing one, any one.
When they arrived, Mathias parked backward for the trailer to be the closest to the house and they walked out. The house seemed pretty empty in fact. He had thought about his mom coming to welcome him, but there wasn't a car in the parking, so, he presumed everyone was gone for some… things they needed to do.
Niels and he simply took their little luggage and Mathias unlocked the door, stepping in. The house had its usual mess. His mother was a good house wife, keeping the place neat and clean, but having young children passing behind her, it was hard for it to stay clean for too long.
"Welcome to my home, Niels," the Dane said, letting the Norwegian walk in with Eirik still in his hands. Mathias rapidly walked around the house to check which room his parents had left him and came back to drag Niels upstairs in a little clean and empty room where they could eventually bring the couch and install their temporary stuff. Most of it would stay in the garden since they had to call the company to take the trailer back.
"Well, I thought they would be here but," he said, looking at his wristwatch, "Dad is still working and I suppose some of my brothers are with him while my mom should be at the grocery with all the others…"
Xxx
Niels looked at their room. It was large if there were going to be one person living in it. The bed was only for a single person, but that was okay for they were going to bring up their couch anyways. Scanning his eyes around the room Niels placed Eirik on a high shelf so that he was sure no kid could get. He then turned to his bag and rummaged through the few photos he had of Eirik. He settled on the only framed one that was a little over a year old and he placed it next to the urn. Instantly a sick feeling past over him and tears burned his eyes.
Quickly he pushed his head into Mathias' chest, needing the warmth of another person. Niels didn't need to start thinking how much he missed Eirik. So he trained all of his attention on Mathias. Taking the man's face in his palms, he kissed Mathias with all the passion he had, which was mostly coming from the sad depressing clench of his chest. Afterwards he burrowed his face into Mathias' chest. He inhaled that musty, male scent that he loved. It was so different than Eirik's which he smelled everyday on his own body, though it was beginning to fade.
"I really need to get my mind of Eirik." he murmured into the man's chest. Niels was willing to do anything just to feel good for a few minutes. His chest ached so much from crying and feeling the never ending pain and loneliness over the loss of his own brother. Would he be using Mathias if he suggested a quick session? After all from what Mathias had said they wouldn't have time to once all those kids were around. "Just a quick round, it's all I'm asking." he breathed slowly.
Xxx
Mathias also looked at the little spot Niels had confectioned for his brother's urn, and seeing how the older one reacted, his heart broke instantly. He took Niels against him and gently rocked him in his arms, kissing his hair as he stroked his back. It felt sick to have sex with a mourning guy, but if it was that he needed. And in fact, it was certainly a good idea to do that since, he hoped, it would take Niels' mind away from his brother's death.
Leaning a bit and removed his arms so he could close the door before sitting on the little bed and looked up at the man; he looked so miserable. Gulping, Mathias caressed Niels' cheek, "Take the time ye need," he slowly said, caressing his hair, "To say goodbye…"
He understood how all this situation was hard on the Norwegian. And unfair. But if life had put Mathias on his road, it was certainly for something.
The Dane pulled Niels a tad closer to kiss his lips while his hands slipped under his shirt to slightly massage his lower back. Before they went into too hot things, Mathias parted their lips and stretched to grab his bag and fetch a bottle of lube and condoms he discarded on the bed.
It felt like they were death condemned and were allowed one last fuck. But Mathias needed to get that feeling away and kissed Niels with a bit more passion, but still kept his usual tenderness. Wet and thick swollen tongues met, swirling with one another in a moist sound. Despite the awkward atmosphere in which they were stuck, everything felt fine. Mathias had missed this. They didn't have many occasions lately to have those moments, for before Niels was never there and/or always trashed and after… well, it wasn't hard to guess. Maybe one or two weeks had passed since the last time they had sex together, and the same amount of time for the Dane for simply having sex, outside his lonely masturbation sessions.
Though, he supposed having sex with clients didn't feel the same, and the thought made Mathias shiver.
He gave Niels' ass long circular rubs, feeling the rough fabric of Eirik's jeans under his touch. He frowned at the thought, but kept the soothing caresses all the while. But despite all of these caresses and touches, the Dane wasn't aroused and he supposed it was the same for the Norwegian, and thus he snaked one hand in front of Niels to rub his groin with his palm, rubbing up and down and massaging his sack through his pants.
Xxx
It was strange, usually it didn't take much for the Dane to get him turned. Now his rubbing felt awkward and strange. Niels simply just leaned forward and rested his head on Mathias' shoulder as he felt his hand try to work him. There were kisses placed on his crown that were light and not at all passionate. The whole ordeal was making Niels feel worse so he had to recreate the kisses in his mind, turning them into passionate wet kisses.
Eventually, he began to harden and his pulse was picking up. Just like it did when he snorted cocaine. Timidly, Niels reached up and kissed Mathias, it was light and devoid of any passion, but he did his best to put some life into it. He felt like he was kissing Mathias just for the sake of kissing. They were light and automatic, but they still somehow made him feel good.
Xxx
As soon as Mathias felt Niels harden under his touch, he unbuttoned his pants and slipped them down a bit to extract his limp erection and slowly pump it. The kissed felt weird and awkward, but the Dane tried to kiss him back with a little bit more life and passion, though, it was hard with how the Norwegian would answer them. It was like they were both forcing it on them… though, Mathias really wanted to have sex with the Norwegian, even more; he wanted to make love to him the best way he could despite the circumstances.
Pulling the man a tad closer, he rotated their position and dropped Niels on his back on the mattress and pulled his pants off along with his underwear. While gently kissing him, he worked on unbuttoning the Norwegian's shirt and part it enough for he slowly descended on his chest to leave soft kisses, rolled his tongue on one nipple and followed his happy trail to brush his nose into his pubic hair and took his member in one hand to give it slow pumps while his tongue swirled around the crown and from the base to the tip. At least, this would certainly take his mind away for a while.
Slipping his arms under the man to hold his sides and caress them, Mathias took the erection in his mouth and slowly sucked on it.
Xxx
All the clutching pain melted from Niels' body as his body was plummeted into pure pleasure. Taking a deep breath he let out a pleased sound. Eirik's urn could be a thousand miles away for all Niels could tell at the moment. All the anxious feelings and misery were being turned into fuel that made Niels gasp and tremble as his body finally began to act properly to the actions he was doing. Yet, he felt hollow and not all there. The blow job was wonderful, but his eyes opened and when he tossed his head to the side, he saw that small blue urn on the shelf.
Gripping Mathias' hair he tried to get his eyes off his brother's remains because the deep sadness was starting to way out the wonderful feelings Mathias was inflicting on him. His eyes only left the urn when Mathias led his chin away for a heated kiss. Niels could feel his saliva covered cock rubbing against Mathias' thigh as the Dane leaned down and captured his lips. Niels slipped his eyes shut, feeling his eyes sting and his lips tremble lightly against Mathias. Wrapping his arms around the Dane, he desperately hung on to him, needing feel someone or something close.
Xxx
He could feel Niels tremble despite his clearly aroused body. Mathias had to keep his man to look away from him and look at the urn, otherwise, all his effort to keep the Norwegian heated were shattering. And he really needed time for himself, to think about him, to have his own pleasure and stop feeling the incessant pain eating his inside and making his whole cage contract.
"Babe," Mathias hotly whispered against his lips, trying to bring his mind back with him in the hotness of their touches. He didn't say more and simply held the man with the same intensity as he caressed the Norwegian's naked butt with one hand while his other was pulling him closer into a deeper kiss.
It felt so good yet so wrong…
Keeping their kiss tender and passionate, Mathias moved a blind hand up to fetch the bottle of lube and poured some on his fingers and snaked his hand down between the other male's buttocks and rub one cold wet finger on his entrance. With his other hand, he worked on undoing his pants and lower them to relief his erection and fetched for a condom. Shortly breaking the kiss to rip the little wrapping, he spat the paper away and unrolled the rubber on his erection while he pushed a finger inside the man's ass.
Mathias returned on kissing Niels after assuring himself the rubber was in place and grabbed the Norwegian's erection to slowly pump it while his other hand worked to stretch him. It felt different from the last time and he was infinitely glad it did; it proved Niels hadn't try to flee and make more money while Mathias wouldn't be there to watch over him. He felt a lot tighter, yet not as tight as all his other fucks… but he supposed it would slowly get back to normal.
Xxx
By the time Mathias' fingers had stretched him out, Niels was choking on tears but at the same time moaning his heart out. The thoughts of Eirik were fleeting his mind as he emptied everything out. He would lift his hips up, trying to get more of Mathias' touches, but the sounds that came out his lips were whinny and shaky. But it felt so good to not think about his brother.
Niels gasped, coming back for moment when he felt Mathias push in and filling him up tight. It felt strange to know that he wasn't stretched out by a previous night full of sex. Locking his eyes with Mathias who looked unsure, Niels' smiled weakly, pulling the man down for a few more kisses. It felt good. No matter how he was feeling sex with Mathias felt good. Even if he only had one other experience with Mathias to base that night on.
The pace Mathias placed on Niels was slow and sensual. Niels knew he appeared to look like fragile glass. Though he was eating a bit more, his body still had not put on any weight. Then, there was the way his face stayed blank for hours, not changing a muscle. No, Niels could not blame Mathias for the slow careful pace. In fact he couldn't even hate it either, even if Niels wasn't used to it.
Xxx
Mathias shakily moaned, finally having what he craved for days. Oh, he didn't want to impose his desires on the other male, it would have been deeply selfish of him, but during the last days and week he had waiting for Niels to be ready and have a second round with him. It had been hard to almost chastely wait for the Norwegian and only expulse his frustration through shower masturbation sessions. He had personally not really wanted to have sex with him while he had with plenty of other unknown people and since the day Eirik died… he simply couldn't extract Niels from his mourning to have selfish sex.
But the wait had been worth it. It clearly didn't feel like the first time they had done it; in fact, it really felt like making love to a normal lover, outside the weird choking sounds Niels was making. Shushing into the man's ear, he kissed his slightly sweating skin and caught his lips in a loving kiss while he slowly and carefully thrust into him, rocking his hips back and forth while holding his legs up to give a better penetration angle. He made sure to move almost completely in and out for the Norwegian to feel him fully and often verified with his hand if the condom wasn't slipping away.
He finally wrapped his arms around the man to take him into a gentle embrace while he moved his hips a tad harder in the way in, slightly panting on the man's warm skin.
Xxx
Shivering at the harder pace, Niels wrapped his legs around Mathias' middle tighter, feeling his whole body began to bristle with goosebumps. Slipping his eyes shut, the feel good hormones were beginning to enter his blood stream. It felt so wonderful to be relieved of his grief. "Mathias.." he breathed in a calm voice before he began to allow himself to let the Dane's name fall freely from his mouth.
Niels knew he was close as his heart began to beat erratically and a hot intensity began to grow in his body. Snapping into his orgasm, Niels let out a loud moan, not for just the wonderful feeling, but because he finally felt good. He was a thousand miles from Denmark, even further from Norway. Even when he opened his eyes, to watch Mathias move above him, trying to reach his own orgasm, Niels didn't feel a thing beside pure, numb, wonderfully goodness.
He wished desperately that he could just lie there, caressing Mathias' sweaty face, watching him grunt above him as he reveled in the lightness of his body.
Xxx
As soon as Niels had reached his orgasm, Mathias began to thrust harder and faster to, in the end, choke a moan as his entire body trembled and released. Slowly decelerating his thrusting pace until he was finished, the Dane crashed on his elbows with a low sigh as he tried to catch back his normal breathes. He rested the side of his head on Niels' chest where he could hear loud and rapid thuds, soothing sound… He felt fingers brush his wet hair away from his sweaty forehead and all he could do was tiredly chuckle.
"Felt good…" he said in a tired hoarse voice as he turned his head on the other side and sighed in relief. They stayed into that position for quite a while, until Mathias' erection fully limped and he had to move back to remove the rubber and neatly throw it into the trashcan after having wrapped it into tissues and took time to clean the Norwegian's stomach.
He then crashed back down next to Niels and looked at him; the first thing he noticed was his peaceful and slightly happy expression, which automatically made his smile. Yes, he had succeeded into bringing Niels' away from his dark thoughts, at least for a while. The Dane leaned to press their lips together in a slightly heated kiss and passed an arm around the other male's waist with a content sigh.
Though, no long after, he heard the specific cracking sound of tires on concrete and he rapidly jumped out of the bed to pull back his jeans and brush his clothes, helping the Norwegian to dress back. He perked an ear and he could clearly hear children's voices with a tad lower voice, "My mom," he said with a neutral face, looking back at the Norwegian. Mathias rapidly looked around the room to grab the lube and condoms and hide them in his bag and rapidly fetch the trashes and put them in the trashcan before pulling Niels back up and leave the room.
Just when they arrived in the hall, children stepped in, and recognizing their older brother, rapidly jumped and ran into his arms, "MATTIE!" the youngest screamed. The woman smiled at her oldest son and looked at the Norwegian with a confused look.
"It's a friend from Norway," he said in while holding his youngest 4 years old sister in his arms, so relief to finally speak his own language for a change. She nodded and smiled to the newcomer, stretching a hand for a handshake, "Karen," she said.
Xxx
Niels nodded and tried to smile politely. But already he could feel his little high wearing off. Not mention he was already getting a headache from the kids. They weren't loud, but one of them had taken to clinging to his leg and looking up at him. He looked like a miniature Mathias, which amused Niels in a small way.
When they left to their room, Niels decided to ask Mathias about the strict cleaning he did. It was so obvious that he was trying to hide what they had just done. The trash only had a few things plus the used condom. Niels didn't feel too keen on sleeping with a guy that was uncomfortable with their status. Which, Niels didn't even know what their status was. There never was any formal asking the other out. "Why are you being careful about us have sex." he asked as soon as they entered their room.
He really hoped that Mathias wanted to keep their nasty habits simply just hidden from too young eyes.
Xxx
Mathias didn't know how to reply without upsetting the Norwegian. Nervously breathing, he closed the door, scared one of his older siblings would hear and speak about stuff he would say later, "My… My parents," he began and already could see Niels roll his eyes, "They don't know 'bout me and…" he said, averting eyes. He rubbed his face nervously, leaning back on the door, "Well, m-my dad is really conservative ye see…"
And alcoholic, he wanted to add, but he didn't think Niels needed to know. There were bad enough stuff related to his dad's behaviours around alcohol, around homosexuals, around other's way to think and such… In fact, his dad was simply really close minded, and leaving Denmark had helped Mathias get out of this vile circle.
Xxx
Taking a shaky breath, Niels rubbed his forehead. "You need to start telling me things, idiot." The fact that they had had sex just a few minutes was not a good idea under this roof. "What if we had been caught?" he added scoffing Mathias' stupidity. Mathias' face pout at Niels' sour words, but he gave Mathias a quick peck on the lips.
Sighing heavily, Niels noticed his own hypocritical actions. "This is going to be tough. Please tell me we aren't going to be here long." Niels had to already put up with kids, now he couldn't simply kiss and hold Mathias whenever he wanted.
Heading over to the bed, Niels saw Eirik's photo and urn and felt his heart plummet. Sadly he spoke, "What is the plan? You never really explained what we are doing here." and now after sex, Niels realized he couldn't just simply follow Mathias without knowing what was on the horizon. Lost in his own grief, Niels had numbly followed without a question and now he felt like he was waking up not knowing where he was.
Xxx
Feeling deeply relieved, Mathias sat next to the Norwegian and leaned forward, crossing his fingers. Sure, he had never talked to Niels about what they would be doing here or anything, "Hopefully, we won't be stayin' too long," he said, and inwardly hoped nothing would turn bad while they would stay in his parents' house. His family was really sweet and warming, but their mind's tightness might irritate Niels really fast. They were good Christians, or well, that's what they said but Mathias didn't really believe it. His father might better stay and sleep a drunken day instead of going to the church with too many beers in the nose. They didn't believe in anything Jesus hadn't say, and thus having another sexual orientation, sex before marriage and stuff like that…
"I'll work with my dad until I get enough money to leave, that's the plan," he said, making it short and sweet, "And, I swear babe, take yer time…" he almost whispered, giving him a caring look, "If ye don't wanna get back to work already, just stay here. I'll try to make the room a tad more practical for whatever ye wanna do, or…" he said, looking around, and was about to say he could help his mom if he felt like it, but looking his disapproving look, he simply laughed and shook the head, "Yeah… and she's still pregnant," he said with a nervous laughter as he dropped himself back on the mattress, "We might stay… two weeks or so…"
Xxx
It was a bitter feeling knowing he couldn't place his head on Mathias shoulder for the human contact. His body already felt cold and needy. "You have two weeks Mathias. I really don't want to stay here for very long." his voice was stern and he felt a tad bad for the high demands. But... Niels couldn't stand living with such strict rules. He almost didn't feel welcomed because of his sexual orientation.
Sighing heavily, Niels also added, "I need a job. The worst thing I can do is sit here alone." No doubt his mind would go back to his now dead brother. God he needed something to take his mind off it, now he found out he couldn't sleep with Mathias to take him away from his grief. Niels felt like punching the wall for Mathias withholding information.
"I expect you to take me out a few times." he said bitterly. Niels regretted he had sex with the man, now he had his libido back and he couldn't have sex.
Xxx
Mathias rapidly nodded and gave the Norwegian a cocky smirk, moving a hand to caress his cheek and hair, "I promise, ye'll never see these two weeks pass," he cheerfully said, leaning to give him one last kiss on the lips before standing and opening the door, already being attacked by the youngest siblings. He didn't even know how much his words were to be true.
The Dane properly introduced Niels to his mother and four siblings, mentioning he had meet him in Norway and that they would soon leave to live in collocation because it would be easier for both of them that way. Mathias fought the urge to caress the Norwegian's cheek as he proposed him to go fetch some of his stuff he really wanted in the trailer. They would wait for his father to bring the couch in which they would probably not be sleeping together for the next two weeks, but still needed it…
Mathias took some time to play with his siblings and tell them fantastic stories about his life in Norway, speaking about Vikings and dragons despite the older of them saying it wasn't true. He helped his mother with the dinner until his father and two brothers came back from work and welcomed the older Dane back with manly embraces.
"Ye've lost weight my son!" his dad said, strongly tapping on Mathias' shoulders, "Ye've taken some," the son said, pocking his dad's belly as the man laughed, looking at Niels with a raised eyebrow. Mathias introduced him and the older man didn't even dare shaking his hand and simply acknowledged him with a slightly haughty nod, "So, ye've come to work, huh? Dropped school again?" the father said as he grabbed his son's shoulder.
"Ya, kinda… W- I need money," he said, staying stiffly still under his father's strong grip. His father laughed, walking away to remove his coat, "Yeah, that's what I thought; the Khölers males are made for manual work. Ye won't go to university Math, ye'll be a carpenter like ye're old father, that's what ye're made for!"
Mathias simply nodded with a smirk and he waited for his father to go in the living room to introduce Niels to his brothers. The older one, his closest one, was Christoffer and the third one was Jan. Both were 20 and 16. And well… Mathias knew very well that Christoffer had very recently been extracted from the drug circle … but the Norwegian didn't need to know that. In the Dane's head, Niels was alright now, he needed neither wanted cocaine anymore, but it wasn't true and he didn't really know.
Xxx
To say the least, Mathias' family was not what he expected it to be. For some odd reason, he imagined Matias to be from a free love type of family. He had been dead wrong. How such a family could produce the fun loving Dane was beyond Niels. But, just looking at Mathias' father, he could since a darker side. It was like looking at a drunkard on some street corner in Oslo, they simply had a certain look. The beer gut also gave him away. Niels knew he shouldn't be making assumptions however he had a funny feeling that Mathias got that mean streak from his father. He remembered that night, and Niels began to feel not too keen on staying here even more.
Every time he was spoken to, he would nod and speak with his best Danish pronunciation, which felt bulky and weird on his tongue. Most of the time, they didn't follow which made Niels frustrated. The older two siblings seemed to understand him better, not taking the arrogant stance of not even bothering to decipher Niels' Norwegian. That's when he noticed Christoffer. The brother twitched in a way Niels had in his past and saw other people do quite often.
Mathias had a drug user in his family and Niels felt a strong pull to ask the little brother if he would by chance deal him some. Mathias would be disappointed and furious if he did. But being shoved in a house religious house with no real way out of his grief, he felt a strong pull towards Christoffer.
Xxx
As usual, during the dinner when the big family was sit around the table, the head father had his usual beer in hand and was always loudly speaking about the proud he wore toward his sons who would work with him… the same shit he always used to say. Mathias remembered years ago when he had decided to finish his high schooling, the reaction his dad god had threw him out of himself and that was when he had decided to go to college far from his family. But sure, being so far of them all had made him miss most of his siblings and fear for his mother's well being.
He didn't really notice his family's attitude toward Niels since his mother's constant questions about his life in Norway pulled his mind away from him.
They stayed at the table for far too long, enough for when they finally stood, the kids had to go to bed. Mathias could see Niels fight for sleep; he still had big problems to sleep. Thus, they went up to their room and Mathias showed the way to the bathroom if he needed to use it before going to their room. Earlier, his brothers had helped him bring the couch up and they had opened it.
Christoffer had also noticed how nervous Niels seemed during the dinner, but it wasn't only due to the fact he wasn't at his ease with the family. The Dane had slacked on his cocaine consummation lately, making the whole ordeal a lot less obvious to his family, but he was been selling it instead. And so, going up to his own room where he would simply stay by the computer and listen to music as he usually did in the evening, he gave the Norwegian a short stern look before pulling on his door to make a crack.
Xxx
Mathias was in the shower while Niels sat on the not all that familiar couch with the picture of Eirik in his hands. The family unit and comradery was foreign to him. Sure, he and Eirik had shared something of that form, but nothing like Mathias' family. The image of a family all eating together at a table was an un-new feeling to him. Eirik and he never had that and they certainly never ate the same table. They would instead have their own plate and sit in some chair in some room doing whatever it was that pleased them. But still, seeing all of those siblings fondle over Mathias reminded Niels of how empty he was now.
When the knock came at the door, Niels jumped ever so slightly, before returning Eirik's picture back on the shelf. He knew it couldn't be someone young, for they would probably barge right in. What one of the older siblings could be wanting was beyond him. Swinging the door open, Niels was only half shock to see Christoffer. "He's in the shower." Niels started, only to notice that the man had a knowing smile on his lips, as if he could see what Niels' dirty secret was. Frowning, he knew that this brother was here to see him and not Mathias. "Can I help you?" he spoke slowly.
Xxx
Christoffer, despite not having the same face and features as Mathias wore the same cocky smirk. He didn't have the same attitude either; he looked a lot less cheerful and a bit more serious, yet cold. His eyes didn't wear any real expression even if, younger, he used to be a happy and cheerful kid like Mathias and all his brothers and sisters.
"Was wonderin' in fact if I could help ye," he said in his best Norwegian, crossing his strong arms and leaning on the door frame. Hey, if he wanted some business, he was better to have the man in his pocket from the very beginning, "Need a drink? Water, juice… a glass of coke?" the younger Dane said, looking around to assure himself he didn't have one of his younger sibling listening around, or even worse, Mathias right behind him.
Xxx
His eyes narrowed at the word coke. Everything in Niels' mouth went dry and he could feel his stomach tighten. "What do you mean by coke?" he asked wearily.
Bitterness hit Niels hard. It was like every drug dealer could sniff out taunt him with his drug addiction. Christoffer was just like Berwald, knowing his secret weakness and exploiting it. By being interested in taking the drug, Niels knew he would be insulting Eirik's memory. But he simply couldn't help it. Knowing that he could no longer get any relief from Mathias, Niels need to find another way or he would be consumed by his own grief and unhappiness.
Xxx
Christoffer gave a slight smirk to the other man, moving away from the door frame as he subtly fished something in the side pocket of his jeans and pulled it enough for Niels to see what was in it, which being a little plastic bag containing white powder. He looked back up at his brother's friend and snorted a silent chuckle, seeing the man's eager eyes staring the coke until the Dane pushed it back securely in his pocket and crossed his arms back.
"Enough for a week. I can make ye a good price," he said, rapidly looking back to be sure no one was around.
Xxx
Niels' eyes were trained on Christoffer's pocket. His whole body felt numb knowing that his drug of choice was a few feet away, tucked in another man's pants. "I... don't have any money. I don't even have a job." his voice trembled.
Would he be willing to fall into his old bad habits with Eirik freshly formed ashes sitting on the shelf above his head. The presence of that urn should have been enough to deter Niels. But it wasn't. He was willing to be indebted to this man for cocaine. Besides... it wasn't like Mathias' own brother would hurt him if he knew how close he and Mathias were, right?
Xxx
"Oh well," Christoffer said, moving away from the door and slightly backing off, wanting to play with the man's patience, "I could lend ye one… I suppose ye'll get a job soon, huh?" he asked, not really caring about if he would get one or not; the most important for him was that he would get his money.
"Since ye're my bro's friend, I'll be good on ye and won't make ye pay interests," he said. But sure, this wouldn't go without specific conditions. He was pretty close to Mathias and was still feeling like he had a debt toward his brother since the older of the two had helped him to get out of hell years ago. Though, he had kept a foot in the place without Mathias knowing and he didn't want him to know… he didn't want to have problems with his brother, especially something that could ruin their relation.
Xxx
Niels snatched the bag, thankful. "I will as soon as I can." he answered before shutting the door. The cocaine felt heavy in his hands and he sat on the couch just staring at it. Straining his ears, he could still hear the shower going on. His nerves were acting up for he knew that Mathias wouldn't approve. But what Mathias didn't know wouldn't kill him.
Looking around the room, he spotted a book and lined up a narrow line. Using a bank note from his pocket, Niels snorted the whole line up before leaning back and letting out a loud pleasure ridden sigh. He could feel its effects starting to take hold of his body and it felt wonderful. The shower turned off and Niels reacted quickly, shoving the book under the bed and looking for a place to hide his new stash. Not finding a good one, Niels did the unthinkable.
Opening Eirik's urn, he placed the packet inside.
