AN: How's this for consistent? I'm going to try to frequently post chapters and keep writing for as long as this sudden burst of inspiration will allow so once it burns out, hopefully none of you will want to kill me for taking another hiatus. Maybe I'll even get this thing finished! Who knows. Anyway, Dil's chapter is coming up very soon per suggestion. I forget who suggested it, but I know you wanted to hear his perspective on the situation at hand... and I'm going to have to apologize in advance because it ended up being a lot about him, in a way. So anyone who wanted to get to know Dil better will be getting the opportunity! Anyway, I'm rambling. Enjoy, guys!
Charlie Finster
April 9th, 2010
"Chuck can I talk to you…? Just for a minute?"
It pisses me off that my heart skips a beat when I hear Maya's voice. I've been trying to avoid her all day but she finally catches up to me while we're transitioning to our 4th classes and I can't even manage to fight off the excitement I feel to know she's coming to make amends with me.
I'm not going to make this easy though. I hardly turn around when I hear her. "Yeah?" I answer, but I quicken my pace on purpose. I hear her feet following hurriedly after me on the tile floors. Soon enough, we're the only two out in the hall.
"Slow down," she orders, but I don't listen. I make the sound decision to get as far out of this fucking building as possible, even if it means walking out hours before the final bell. It's almost spring break anyways. Today's our last day this week, so I decide to dismiss myself a little early.
"Chuck!" Maya's footsteps quicken. "Will you please stop and talk to me?"
We're almost out of the doors, so I keep walking. Suddenly, we're in the sunlight. It's damn near blinding but it feels fantastic. Sweet freedom from that fucking prison… at least for a week and a half. I let my feet carry me just a little farther and finally I get to my car. When I open the door, Maya slams it with an open palm. "I asked you to speak to me, Charles."
"I heard you." I laugh, ripping the door open. Maya damn near falls on the ground when the door pushes her back, which surprises me a little bit. I guess I don't know my own strength. I reach over to touch her shoulder and stable her out. "…are you okay?"
She shakes a little and I can see the rage and frustration in her eyes. "I'd be fine if you'd just-!" She's about to unload on me, so I shush her and manage to get her into the passenger side before she says anything else. I don't want her blowing my cover, skipping class and leaving school.
When I get inside, I look over at her and I sigh. I guess I'm taking her home. She's lucky I feel guilty for almost killing her or else she would definitely not be stepping foot into my vehicle right now.
Since she's here, I'm totally aware that we're about to have a terribly overdue conversation. I'm not exactly in the mood but it had to happen sometime, right?
"So… what is it that you want from me, Maya?" I ask nonchalantly, patting my pockets down for a pack of cigarettes. I'm gonna need one, I can feel it.
"I want to know why you're ignoring me." She fires back.
Easy question to answer, but I light a cigarette and roll down the window before I start talking.
Inhale. Exhale. "I'm ignoring you because my best friend is completely in fucking love with you right now." I say plainly. Her expression doesn't change. "He's been talking about you all day. About how he went over to the Deville's and you guys hung out and about how he pep talked you into feeling better and how your fucking lips tasted like wine when he kissed you. All of that." She looks confused now and I feel rage boiling up in my chest. I'm waiting for her to deny it… but there's no fucking way she can deny all of this shit right in front of my face. As if Tommy's word isn't enough, Lil told me about it also between class periods. She's been so bugged out about it also. Like… damn, do these two assholes have any idea what it is they've done?
"Are you going to hear me out on this or are you going to tell me what happened?" Maya snaps and rolls her eyes at me. She's right, I have no real reason not to hear her explanation. But if I hear one denial, I'm-. "Yeah, Tommy came over to Lil's last week. But I didn't invite him over." She says slowly. "In fact, he actually just walked in. Lil had a spare key underneath the doormat for him to sneak in with… back when they were still a thing. You know, I don't exactly know why he was there but he was there and it didn't seem like he wanted to leave."
I don't say anything, but I nod for her to continue. "So we just started talking about things and… it just made me feel better. I just needed someone there and, yeah… we kissed or whatever. It just felt good to know that someone actually understands me and I wasn't thinking." Her eyes start to well up with tears. "I feel so fucking shitty. I didn't want to hurt Lil and I don't want any of this mess to get back to Kimi but I know I should tell her."
She's crying now. It's fucked up, but I'm super relieved to know she feels guilty for all of this. I just want to hug her… but of course, I don't. A bit of anger is still lodged into my chest because well… you know why. "Why didn't you call me to talk if you wanted to talk to someone?" I retort, rolling my eyes. "You know I'm here for you, Maya. I would never try to take advantage of you like that."
She wipes away a bit of her tears and looks up at me. "Do you think that's really what he was trying to do?"
"I can't tell you where his head is," I admit, glancing outside of the window. "…but being lonely like that made it feel a lot easier to trust him, didn't it?" She turns away from me and doesn't answer for a while. "Didn't it?"
"Yes…" she sighs. "God, I'm so stupid."
I'm just looking at her and I wanna say… 'Well yeah, kind of'- but I don't. I feel bad for her. Way too bad to be that mad at her. "I'm sorry, Maya." I muster up the courage to hold her hand. "…I'm sorry."
No, I'm not mad at her anymore… but I am mad at Tommy for doing this shit, yet again. It was one thing when it was my sister, who wouldn't listen to me for shit when I tried to tell her about him, but Lil and Maya were just dependent and naïve. All Lil wanted was for Tommy to love her back, and all Maya really wanted was company. I get the feeling that Maya is trying to tell me that it was nothing… but I can't help but wonder if she felt anything when Tommy kissed her. I wonder if he thought about taking things a step further. I wonder if she would have-
"I just… I don't want to be caught up in all of this," she sounds exhausted, as she should be. These past few weeks have been rough for her.
I figure we can just hang out and take it easy for a little while, even though I have a lot more to say. "Let's not worry about it anymore," I urge her as I watch the high school shrink in the rear view mirror. "Unless you feel like you need to talk."
She doesn't respond for a little while. Suddenly, she looks up at me like she's expecting something. "You didn't actually tell me why you were upset," she says.
"Yeah, I did."
"No, you told me why you were ignoring me. And you said that it was because Tommy's been talking about me all day."
That is what I said.
I figure I might as well just come out with it. The cigarette that I'd started before this chat is burned down to the filter. I pitch it. "I just… It's shitty having your best friend go after a girl you think is pretty… cool, I guess."
"Cool?"
"Yeah, cool… I mean… we've hung out a lot." I say. My eyes are dead-set on the road. I'm scared to turn to her and see a look of disapproval. Rejection, even. I don't know how I'd take looking like such a fucking idiot after all of this has happened. "I'd say we're good friends. I mean… it's not weird that I think you're cool. At least I hope not."
"Where are you going with this?"
I'm pretty sure she knows exactly where I'm going with this… I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing. "I really like you, Maya. I like you a lot." I finally turn to look at her and she's just looking at me with her big hazel eyes. They're soft and understanding. "I didn't want to tell you just because Tommy made a move on you, you know? I wanted to tell you when I thought it would matter."
"When wouldn't it matter?" She asks softly.
"I'm not sure… I just wanted it to mean something. I didn't want it to sound like I was copping some plea.
She smiles and grabs my hand. "It doesn't sound like that at all. And it does mean something… It means a lot, actually."
And my heart damn near jumps out of my chest. It's a mixture of things, really. Sad to admit, but I'm more astounded by the fact that I won over Tommy in the eyes of a girl. For the longest time I felt as though there wasn't a girl in the world that could resist the charm of my best friend. My sister, Phil's sister… girls I crushed on and brought around to hang with us would even tell me how attractive they thought Tommy was and would ask me if they could get his number. Right? Just embarrassing.
I don't blame Tommy for all that. How could I? And it isn't as if he'd shown them any interest… he's just that guy. It'd be hard for most people to stay friends with a guy like this, the coolest kid in school. But we've been friends too long for me to give it all up for a girl.
I look over at Maya again and we're still holding hands. I know that she isn't just some girl and for a second, I wonder if Tommy will be mad at me for this. I wonder if Kimi will try to maim Maya for what happened. I wonder if she and Phil are still on good terms. Thinking about it now, everything is in shambles because of Tommy. I wonder if he has enough sense to try and put it all back together again.
