A/N:
Hello! As you can see this is a longer chapter, 1,500 words extra ;)
This was quite easy to write, it almost wrote itself and I'm feeling quite accomplished with the end result.
I hope you guys are happy with it too of course ;)
All the mistakes are mine.
This chapter is again unbeta'ed, since I haven't found a beta still. (If you know anyone who might be interested in beta'ing Stay, or if you'd like to yourself, please let me know)
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to the amazing and talented Stephenie Meyer.
I'm just playing with the characters she created. The plot actually is mine though :) I'd always wanted to say that lol.
Now, on to the story!
Enjoy!
Chapter 4
BPOV
The following week was much of the same. I'd try to get in contact with the usual happy and content Edward, but he'd now turned into a permanent ghost of his previous self. Not to mention a beautiful – but weak – looking girl permanently glued to his side.
And when I mean glued, I mean glued. There wasn't a moment where they weren't touching. It were very innocent touches, but they were still touches. I often found them with their hands in each other's, Edwards arm thrown around her shoulders or an arm wrapped around the girl's slender waist.
I hadn't seen her in anything different than hoodies, in several dark colors. The too large clothes managed to hide her body pretty well, but not well enough. I knew that if I had a body like hers, I'd show it off instead of wrapping it up in uncountable layers of thick fabric.
Instead of sitting with Edward and the rest of our friends during lunch, I made the decision to go and join my brother and his friends. Let's just say they didn't particularly mind. Rosalie I knew pretty well, since she often came over, just like her brother Jasper who was great friends with Emmett. Not to mention Edward too. Albeit the age difference, Edward was a good friend of the people I was sitting with. They were mostly football players; the party-hardy and "I'm da bomb" kind.
I was currently sitting next to Mike, a senior who showed obvious interest in me. I blew him off – no pun intended – several times, but the guy couldn't take a hint. Right now I felt his stare burn in the side of my face, but I pretended to be oblivious to it and paid attention to my tray full of food. Emmett bought me this every day ever since I had quit having lunch two weeks ago, but I couldn't swallow even one bite without gagging. This morning I had weighted myself, and I had lost 5 pounds compared to the previous week.
"Sis, eat," Emmett said with authority.
I sighed and rolled my eyes.
"Don't roll your fucking eyes at me," he was getting angry now.
"You're not my goddamn mom, Emmett! I have one at home and she's perfectly capable of taking care of me. You should know since she's your fucking mom too!"
Emmett was sitting next to Mike, and I saw Mike sink lower into his chair to pretend like he wasn't there.
Seriously, Newton pretending like he isn't present somewhere? Impressive.
"Don't fucking talk that way! Everybody has fucking seen you lose weight for these past few weeks! Your bones are more pronounced and you have serious bags under your eyes! I'm just looking out for you!"
Emmett emphasized his point by prodding his finger into my side. Newton sank even lower into his chair.
In the meantime, the entire cafeteria had quieted down and everyone was watching the show Emmett and I put up for them.
I felt a lone tear roll down my cheek, and I wiped it hastily away with my sleeve.
I stood up from the chair, which made it fall backwards and stomped out of the cafeteria. But not after seeing the shocked expressions on the faces of my friends, including Edward.
I ran to the closest bathroom and locked myself in one of the stalls before letting my tears fall freely.
I sat there for God knows how long before the soft paddling of feet came closer to the entrance of the bathroom. Before long the door had opened and the feet came to a stop in front of the stall I was hidden in.
I had put the toilet seat down, and had my knees drawn to my chest.
"Bella," a soft voice called out.
I recognized it immediately – Angela.
I wanted to put up a fight, or at least ignore her but I couldn't find it in me to actually do that.
I unlocked the door and I walked out, wiping my fingers beneath my eyes to check for any traces of mascara where it shouldn't be. I wasn't usually this emotional, but again I couldn't find it in me to care.
Angela gently rubbed my arm.
"Are you okay, Bella? Everyone's really worried about you," Angela informed me. I couldn't care less since the person I wanted to care, still didn't.
"I'm fine, just a little embarrassed. That's all," I made a move to the exit but Angela jumped in front of me.
"What's going on between you and Edward? I haven't seen you spend any time together lately," her voice was slow and soft.
"I know. We just wanted some separation, no biggie," I tried to lie, but unfortunately Angela saw right through me.
She dragged me by my elbow through the door of the bathroom and through the double doors of our school entrance to a nearby picnic table, only used when the weather allowed so which was only a few times per year.
"Spill," she didn't even mention the fact that she didn't believe me.
Let's just say I spilled. I spilled the information to Angela, and I couldn't help but spill some more tears too.
"Bella, you two should talk. I'm sure it's nothing big, just a misunderstanding," she tried to reassure me while pushing some hair out of my face. I was looking at my hands, inspecting them and printing them into my mind for some unknown reason.
"Then how do you explain the girlfriend?" I turned my face to Angela's and I could read some shock in her features.
"Oh, Bella, Bree isn't his girlfriend. They're family, but Bree had some issues at home so she decided to stay with the Cullens for a while," she practically breathed it, her voice was so soft.
"W-what?" I managed to say.
Forming words while being absolutely shocked is a big achievement I reckon.
"I don't know the entire story; just that Bree had some problems with some people in Portland which she couldn't take anymore so she transferred here for the semester,"
I could now only suck up the information and deal with it later.
At that exact moment, the school bell rung.
"Thanks, Angela. I'm gonna head to class," I wiped my cheeks once again, straightened my clothes and walked away.
"Everything will be fine. Everything has a happily ever after, Bella," Angela yelled from behind me. I turned towards her for a final time and was met with a gentle smile.
"Thanks," I whispered. I'm sure she heard me though, because a greater smile appeared on her soft features. Pretty much everything about Angela was soft, as you might have noticed.
I entered the school and the hot air enveloped me and soon I was warmed up again.
I was going to the class which I used to love, but now dreaded the most; biology.
I took my seat and used my hair as a curtain between Edward and me. I did not want to have any type of conversation right now. I wanted to go home and lie underneath a dozen of blankets with some music and a good book.
"Hey," sure enough, he did felt like making conversation. If he could ignore me for two whole weeks, why couldn't I ignore him for the 2 hours we still had left? So, I ignored him.
The class continued and Edward had apparently taken a hint.
Please, teach Mike to do so too.
But soon my security blanket – or previously called the curtain of hair – was moved and I could see his face in my periphery.
Damn, I spoke to early.
"Are you okay, Bella?" his concerned voice whispered.
"Fine," I replied and pulled my hair back from his grip.
Nothing was said again that hour, to my great relief.
That night was a whole other matter though.
I was peacefully lying on my bed – without the promised dozens of blankets, I had instead climbed underneath my fluffy duvet – reading a book while listening to some classical music; Claire de Lune by Debussy.
"Bella, sweetie!" was called from downstairs.
I climbed out from underneath my duvet, closed it to keep the heat underneath it, and opened my locked door.
I walked downstairs and was met with a tall boy I recognized all too well.
I stopped on the stairs with only two steps to go, to make up for some height difference. I didn't know if it would come to a face-off, but I didn't already wanted to be on a lower level than him. Figuratively speaking, of course.
I awkwardly scratched my nose and waited for him to say anything.
"Uhh," he scraped his throat. "Hi," he continued.
Wow, that's an anti-climax.
"Hi," my voice was hoarse too, but I didn't want to scrape it because he already did.
Hey, don't judge, I got my pride to protect.
"Can – can we talk," he requested it more than asked, which made it for me impossible to deny.
Not that I wanted to.
He sounded like his kitten just died, which couldn't be true since I knew he didn't have any pets.
"Uh, sure. You want to come up to my room?" I sounded too insecure; I was desperate to get some strength back into my voice.
Come on, Bella. Don't let him walk all over you. You're a strong and independent woman and you can take on his sorry ass if necessary.
Okay, I take that back but you do have your way with words so kick some ass!
Edwards preferably!
He nodded and followed me up the stairs. I was wearing a very large hoodie from Emmett.
Why I didn't wear my own clothes? Because the gigantic size of Emmett's hoodie gave me more room to snuggle in.
I opened the door, and Edward closed it behind him. I sat down on my duvet-covered bed. It was very tempting to just crawl underneath the blanket of heat, but it would create some awkwardness I did not need.
"So," Edward started.
I saw he looked everywhere except for directly at me.
I think he had seen the entire room three times before he finally continued. I just kept seated on my bed, as Edward was nervously walking up and down the length of my room.
"I don't really know where to start,"
Cue fire, Bella.
"Fucking start at why I'm suddenly not good enough for you," I internally fist pumped the air.
Great start, Bella! Don't ever let boys get you down! He hurt you? Well, you hurt him too!
"I never said that," I hated that he sounded so tired and weak. I wanted him to fight back, to fight me.
"No, you only ignored me for over two weeks and replaced me with some other girl like I mean nothing to you," I lowered my voice a little, not wanting my parents to hear the conversation we were having.
"I didn't replace you," his voice was so damn soft I wasn't even a 100% sure that's what he said.
"Edward, stop with the pity play and tell me what the fuck happened. Did I do something wrong? Am I not good enough? Just enlighten me because I have no idea why you're suddenly ignoring me! I know I need you as my best friend, and unless you give me a conventional reason as to why you suddenly ignored me, I think I'm going to ignore you too and find someone else to hang out with," that last one was a full-out lie, but I wanted him to know that I didn't appreciate how he handled things at all.
He walked over to me and asked with his eyes if he could sit down. I nodded and he did. I moved away a little to create some distance.
"Just let me explain, okay? This hurt me as much as it hurt you,"
I chuckled. "It did, huh? Then why would you continue? I didn't do anything to ignite this fire of hate,"
"You hate me now?"
"No, you just . . . you know what I mean. But don't change the subject! Go on, explain Mr. I-Can-Explain-It-All-So-You-Will-Forgive-Me,"
I need a shorter name for him. I'll fall over my own words if I have to say that two times in one sentence; that's not convincing enough in a heated argument.
"Where do you want me to start?" He was sitting straighter now for a reason that stayed unknown to me.
"I don't know! Just tell me where the beginning is!" I was getting aggravated.
"Okay, chill. It's like you're about to chop my head off or something,"
I distanced my index-finger from my thumb for a centimeter to indicate how close he was to actually getting that treatment. I saw him swallow in response.
I think I'm getting through that thick skull of him! Yay me!
"It's really stupid, I see that now,"
"Edward," I warned him. I wanted him to get to the point already!
"Remember when we were talking about college, about which school you wanted to attend?"
I nodded in response.
"You said that you were going anywhere I wanted to go, right?"
I nodded again.
"I know you want to do creative writing or something else which will help you reach the level you want to be at,"
He took a deep breath.
"I want to go to Juilliard," he rushed out in that one breath.
"W - What?" I stammered.
"There's this great music program I want to get into and I send an application and tried out and they said they wanted to have me next year,"
I knew Edward loved his music. God, I loved his music too. But I never knew that he actually wanted to pursue it.
"Why didn't you tell me? You knew I would've fully supported you, right?"
"Of course I know that. It's just that Juilliard is so far away from here, and I don't want you to follow me there just because of me. There are great writer's programs here, and the one at Julliard wasn't recommended as the best. So I thought that I would distance myself a bit from you, and hopefully you'd follow your dreams just like me," he raised his head at me and looked me in the eye.
His emerald-colored eyes were disarming and my undoing.
I shifted my body 90 degrees and faced him.
"Edward," I grabbed his hand in mine and started playing with his fingers, not wanting to look up at him.
"How am I supposed to let you go for 4 years, to only see you during Thanksgiving and Christmas if I can't even have you ignore me for a couple of weeks?" I still hadn't looked up and I wasn't planning on doing so either.
I shook my head and smirked sadly.
One can totally do that by the way, smirking in a sad way.
"I can't, Edward. You might find me dependent, which I am. I admit that. But you're the one I can tell everything. I have no one other than you to talk about everything. I hate that I can't tell you to go without me to pursue your dreams, because the thing is; they're my dreams too,"
He grabbed my arms and laid them around his neck. I got his intention and weaved them behind his neck and threw my head into the crook.
"Edward, you really are my best friend,"
Already the thought of losing him hurt.
"You're my best friend too, Bella,"
We both sighed out of satisfaction. Like I said before, we didn't mind cuddling together and two weeks without a single touch had to be made up for.
I slowly removed my arms from around his neck after a few minutes.
I wanted to know so more about a particular female who caught my attention, as well as Edward's.
"I have one more question,"
"Shoot," I saw that he had relaxed, but I had no doubt some tension would appear after I asked my question.
"What's with that girl who's permanently touching you?"
Cue the tension.
I didn't use her name purposefully, wanting him to tell me the entire story himself. I didn't want to give away I already knew some from a third party.
He scratched the back of his neck with his hand and then dragged his hand through his messy hair.
"Uh, she's my cousin. She's from Portland but had some issues there so she transferred to Forks High," the story Angela told me was the exact same one, but I wanted details.
"Why is she touching you like she's in a relationship with you?" I decided to just cut straight to the case.
I didn't want to sound jealous – not that I was – but I believe I still did.
"Aw, little Swan, are you jealous?" He mocked me and poked me in the side.
"No, I'm just curious. There's nothing wrong with a healthy amount of curiosity,"
"Okay, I'll tell you, but you can't tell anyone," he was being serious. Here I was thinking he trusted me.
I tilted my head slightly and looked him in the eye, hard expression.
"Right, stupid remark,"
I nodded and motioned for him to continue.
"A few months ago, she had a boyfriend named Riley and she got pregnant. She didn't find out until she was 12 weeks pregnant and immediately told him. He threw some cash at her, told her it was for an abortion and made a promise to disappear out of her life. He kept his promise, but she didn't pursue the abortion. She told her parents; they were mad of course but they were going to support her. On the way to the hospital for a check-up she miscarried. The entire school found out and they spray-painted her locker and surrounding walls about what a whore she was, getting knocked up while in high school. Her friends betrayed her, and she was seriously bullied. That's when she decided it would be better to leave Portland for a while, and mom and dad offered to take her in. She's planning on returning to Portland after everything cooled down a bit, but I don't know if she's actually going to do that.
"About the touching thing, she has some trouble trusting people now. I only agree with it because she's been through a lot of shit, and I try to help her,"
Safe to say; I had not expected something like that.
I had expected something like the Tanya affair one year ago; a girl who was desperate to get Edwards attention so she called him nicknames like 'Eddie' and 'Eddiekins' which he wasn't so fond of, and touched him constantly.
Nothing had prepared me for this news of her being a damaged girl, bullied so badly she felt the need to go away.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, I just assumed -" he quieted me by saying 'hush'.
"I know you did, and I understand why you did. It's just not true," he smiled softly, his signature smirk appearing.
"Okay," I lost myself into the depth of his beautiful green eyes. The contrast between his bronze hair and the emerald eyes were a God's gift. I loathed it when people called him a ginger, didn't they see that his hair was bronze – not red?
"By the way," he pulled me from my thoughts. "I read some more chapters and wrote down some notes. You want to discuss them now?" He pulled a notebook from the bag I hadn't noticed before.
"Uhm, sure," I scratched my forehead and looked around at my room.
Shit! Why didn't I burst the bubble my mind apparently was occupying and looked at my damn surroundings!
I saw several bras thrown over my chair and some jeans and shirts were covering the floor. Not to mention the CD's. The cd's were lying scattered over several spots in my room, two on the floor with one balancing against the wall and three others on my drawers. The only place in my room that wasn't a mess was the ceiling.
I scraped my throat to diverse the attention from my room.
I thought that cleaning the shit up now would be even more embarrassing. Not that Edward had never seen any of my bras before, hell he even saw me wearing them several times.
I mean without any other clothes, you know.
It's not what you think, I just exited the bathroom in only my underwear and Edward was just there! Also, while camping we had to share a tent and completely dressing myself in the sleeping bag was close to impossible so I opted for Edwards eyes instead.
He swallowed and I looked at how his Adams apple bobbed up and down.
"Uh, here," he handed me the notebook and I opened it to the page the bookmark was in.
For the next two hours we discussed the notes he made about my book and we talked about everything that had happened while we were separated; which was, obviously, not very exciting.
"Bella, what is this?" he smirked and chuckled, his eyes warm and almost liquid.
"What?" I asked and inched closer to the screen he was pointing at.
There it was; it clearly stood there. Fuck.
A/N:
What did Bella do? Any ideas/theories? ;)
Hope you liked the chapter, please tell me what you think and I'd love to hear your theories.
~Nathalie
