Chapter 2
"There is much to my story, some I do not wish to share with you, you are, after all, still a young boy. Why don't you start by asking questions. I will answer any question you ask wholly and truthfully." This girl was starting to annoy me. Still, she knows more of this realm than I do. I need her knowledge. I want to know everything, starting with her.
"How about a name. You never told me that. In my head you have been the dark angel."
"I have had many names. If you are looking for something to refer to me as, you may call me Ailith, though dark angel is not a title I dislike, despite its inaccuracy." She is infuriating.
"How is it inaccurate?"
"I am not an angel. Angels are beings of the spirit realm who have been granted permission to travel to the physically realm to perform tasks, much like grim reapers."
"If you are not an angel, why do you have wings?"
"For that, you need some back story. I have lived a million lives. Each life has lasted a million lifetimes. Each life, I come back something different. Since I am a shadow of my entire existence, I can choose what parts of each life are prevalent. I rather liked my wings, so I kept them. They are so soft and warm."
"Why?" The look she gives me makes me rethink my question, and sanity.
"Why are they soft and warm?" Now the look makes sense.
"No, why did you live so many times, and how could you, the world can't possibly be that old?" She smiles. I don't know why.
"To answer your first question, I don't know. I don't remember my first life that well, it was so long ago. I remember I did something bad when I was young. I spent my whole life, and all the lives since, paying the price for it…"
"Why would you not go to hell?"
"Like I said, I don't know. Fate has other plans I guess." She shrugs.
"Fate. You actually believe in Fate?"
"Yes. The religious belief of my kind, that is, the kind of my first life, is very different than yours. We believe in three gods, Fate, and her two sons. Fate rules over all existence. She controls the timeline, making sure that, no matter what, existence can carry on. Fate has two sons, one relishes in the pain and suffering of souls. Thus forth, he was put in charge of punishing souls for their crimes. The other brother is his polar opposite. He loves when the souls are happy, so he is in charge of rewarding them. These three are the only true gods. The three divinities." This surprises me, but, it feels right. Like this is the truth.
"Ok, but is the world really that old?"
"No, this world is not that old."
"This world. That sounds suspicious."
"I have seen England rise and fall 1,000 times. Even when a world dies, a new one rises from the ashes, and the old world is forgotten, thus, existence continues on. Plus, the spirit realm doesn't die with it, just the physical realm. I know you must have thought my clothes strange when I brought you food earlier. They came from a previous world that had been alive longer than this one."
"If they are different worlds, why does England keep showing up.?
"They are different, but the same. Major things repeat themselves in different ways. Minor things change. At least, I think that is how it is. I can't say for sure, but I've guessed. I've had plenty of time for guessing." She laughs at her joke, and I have to admit, it amused me as well. I actually laughed with her. It felt nice to laugh after so long.
"Okay, you've told me a lot, but why did you sell your soul to Sebastian? What did you want from him?"
"Oh, that's any easy one. I wanted to die." She beams as if this is the most normal answer in the world. Instead, it is the strangest thing she's said so far.
"If you just wanted to die, why didn't you just kill yourself. Probably would have been a whole hell of a lot less painful." The memory brings the pain back, and this time, I can't stop it. I feel as if I'm reliving the whole thing again, down to the last detail. I pass out.
"Ciel. Ciel! Come on, wake up. Here. Drink this." She pours more broth into my mouth. I try to swallow but the pain still washes over me like waves crashing against a beach, dragging away more and more of my sand, my self. She messages my throat into swallowing. The pain flows away but more follows it. I can't escape. I feel something pull over my head and she touches my chest again. Her fingers trail down my side and I'm flipped over again. She begins trailing her fingers up and down my spine again. I know what comes next and I brace myself best as I can. Her fingers reach the top of my spine and press down. For the second time, I suck in a massive breathe and pass out.
I come to in my bed again. At least this time, she put my robe back on. "Dammit." I showed weakness again.
"You're awake!" I am suddenly attacked. My attacker manages to squeeze me in a hug while I'm lying down. I feel as if I'm back in England, and Lizzy has come to visit. It hurts, I can feel myself grimacing, but I still try to hug back. Before I can, the arms disappear. I manage to sit up with a little effort. Ailith is there, two feet from my bed with arms behind her back and lips pursed. She watches me with the same look Lizzy did when I was in a foul mood. Even though this dark haired girl looked almost nothing like her, save for the eyes, which were also green, the comparison makes me chuckle. Ailith relaxes, stepping toward me, she grabs a cup of broth from the nightstand and hands it to me.
"Do I get to hear the joke?"
"You remind me of my betrothed Elizabeth. The worried look on your face was just like hers. She used to worry a lot." The warmth washed away the pain again and I relaxed. She smiles, then sighs.
"You should stop doing that to yourself. Don't you get it yet, memories are life here. They are real."
"I'm sorry to worry you, I couldn't stop it. Come to think of it, how did you? Stop it, I mean."
"I numbed your nerve so that your brain couldn't tell your body to remember the pain and your body couldn't tell your brain it was in pain." She's still watching me worriedly. "Are you okay now?"
"I'm fine now, thank you. You didn't finish answering my question." At this, she rolls her eyes.
"Fine, I thought you might want some peace and rest." She flopped down at the foot of my bed. "It wasn't enough, normal death. I've died plenty of normal deaths to tell you exactly how it is for me. I wake up standing in front of the gates to the spirit realm. Just on the other side, my mate and family watch me. At first, they did so expectantly. After a while, with questioning hope, then, they stopped coming. Only my mate kept showing up. He had this desperate, hopeless hope that he watched it with. It was always the same. A voice would come from thin air, 'You can't come here.' Then the ground would fall away. I'ld wake up with a new life, my others forgotten until I stood at the gates again."
"So you found away to escape?"
"Don't think me weak, Ciel. I didn't do it for me. My own pain is bearable, I'm strong. I did it for my mate."
"He was the one you were staring at earlier."
"Yesterday, yes." The first word catches me off guard. I finally realize we've been seeing by candlelight.
"What time is it?"
"About three am." She's watching me again.
"Hmph. How did you pick him out of the crowd so quickly?"
"I could pick out my mate in a crowd of a hundred identical twins. Our kind is special. The term soul mates is quite literal. The souls of two mates recognize each other as their one and only true loves. Those souls would recognize each other as such even if they lived a hundred lives. It never changes. The connection is so deep, we even share each others emotional pain. My own pain was bearable. His was not. I couldn't stand the fact he was getting hurt for my punishment. So yes, I escaped. I found Sebastian. He was willing, albeit confused. He got my soul, I got my wish, and my mate got to move on. He's happy now, he doesn't have to hurt over me anymore."
"So, when you said moving on, you meant forgetting you ever existed?"
"Now you see why I wanted you to see them right away. I would not recommend visiting them again, it will only hurt."
"Ok, what about Elizabeth?"
"She'll remember until she goes to paradise. Then she'll forget and stop hurting over it."
"And Sebastian?"
"I don't know if a demon is actually capable of forgetting something. He may remember you forever." I sighed.
"So, most likely, everyone I care about most will forget about me. Wish I'd known that when I got into the contract."
"There are some things even Sebastian doesn't know, but he told you you would never get into paradise. He knew that much."
"I guess. So, now what."
"Now you should sleep some more. It's been a long couple of days. Tomorrow we can find something fun to do." At this, she got up and smiled. She grabbed the candle and started for the door.
"Hey, I thought time didn't pass here, and that it was always boring." She paused at the door and turned to look at me.
"It's complicated, I'll explain in the morning. Goodnight." She walked out and closed the door, leaving me in the dark.
"Goodnight." My voice echoes in the dark as I pass out for the third time that day. How pathetic.
