Chapter 11:
Wayne Manor, 11 am:
I startle awake, rattled by my dream. Disoriented, I struggle to get out of bed. A hard knock startles me even more. "Lois, honey. Are you alright? I heard a scream." Mrs. Kent calls through the door, concerned.
No matter how hard I tried right now I don't think I could bring myself to talk. I slowly make my way to answer the door when all of a sudden a presence of some sort assaults me with images from my nightmare and other such scenarios. I let out a squeal, almost losing my balance as I move my legs as fast as they would take me out of the room. I fumble with the door handle and whip the door open, only to come face to face with Mrs. Kent's fist. Shock written all over her face.
Alfred, Bruce and I are speaking quietly at the bottom of the staircase. The three of us voicing our concerns about Lois and the situation.
"I've known Lois for a long time Martha and I've never seen her as scared as she was early this morning." Dark circles around his blood shot eyes demonstrating that Bruce hasn't been to bed yet.
Alfred opens his mouth to say something when a feminine scream can be heard from upstairs. Bruce goes to bolt up the stairs, I place my arm on his… "I've got it."
I give what I hope is a reassuring motherly smile. Bruce nods and moves out of my way. I take a deep, steadying breath and hurry up the stairs and to Lois' door. I try to enter, only to find the door locked. I urgently pound on the door. No response. I pound again and wait a second. I hear movement inside. I knock again, this time calling out…
"Lois, honey. Are you alright? I heard a scream." I hear more movement from within, footsteps to be precise. There's thudding almost as if running from panic and the doorknob begins to violently shake. I'm worried again; I raise my fist to knock again when the door swings open. Lois appears absolutely terrified, and before I know it, she's in my arms sobbing.
"It's alright honey." I try to soothe her but she continues to claw at me and sob. I decide to try a different tact…. "Lois…Lois, what's wrong?" she doesn't answer, "What happened in there?" Lois breaks away and looks at me, tears still streaming down her face.
"I am NOT going back in that room and I don't want to sleep alone anymore." She raises her arm and points wildly at the room only two feet away.
"Ok." I look at her oddly… "Honey, what happened?"
Lois clams up as Bruce and Alfred ascend the stairs. "Is everything alright up here?" Bruce asks, pointing his concern at Lois. Lois quickly swipes at her face, trying to wipe away the tears…
"Yeah Bruce, just a bad dream."
"You su…" The rest of the sentence dies on his lips as Lois glares at him. I in return glare at Lois, conveying that we will finish our conversation later.
"Well come on then Master Bruce, you don't want to be late for your appointments." Alfred looks to me and I half smile in appreciation. Alfred turns and descends the stairs; Bruce walks past both of us on his way to the master bedroom. As Lois turns to glare at the room, I send Bruce a look telling him that I would fill him in on everything later. He nods and continues on his way.
I watch Lois as I wait to hear Bruce's door close. She seems to be breathing easier. She's fidgety and looks ready to take flight at any moment. I place my hand on her shoulder, she tenses. My heart aches as I watch this strong woman become a fragile, frightened little girl. Softly…
"Lois, let's go get your stuff and take it to my room."
"I'm not going back in there." She says defiantly, turning to me, her eyes haunted.
"Well, you stand here and I'll grab everything. Good thing you hadn't unpacked right?" I try to lighten the mood but she only eyes the room with contempt.
I gently squeeze past her into the room. An unsettling chill quickly overcomes me but I shake it off. Snatching Lois' bag, her bunny slippers and a couple of other items of clothing. I exit the room, Lois lets out a long breath and we both walk into my room next door. I deposit Lois' belongings on the bed and sit down myself, indicating that Lois should do so as well. Obediently, she slowly lowers herself onto the bed. Intently studying her hands. I take Lois' hands in my own, instantly gaining her attention.
"Lois, I need you to listen to me and answer my questions as honestly as possible. I won't judge you; I just want to help you. Ok?" I look deep into her eyes, searching for permission to continue. Lois nods.
"What spooked you so much? And don't say it was nothing because I know something happened."
Lois looks like she's ready to bolt, her face belying her internal struggle. She grimaces slightly, "It honestly was a bad dream Mrs Kent." I look deep into her eyes, she is clearly telling the truth. It must have been some dream.
"You don't have to tell me about the dream but I won't be able to help you unless I know what's going on." Lois visibly relaxes. She lets out a long sigh.
"I was standing in a beautiful field; it was a gorgeous day…" she takes a deep breath trying to gather strength. "…the children were screaming. I ran to them and took them in my arms as we were rained upon and left alone." Lois chokes out her last word. She looks so lost and alone. I squeeze her hand tighter and then envelope her in a hug. We stay in our embrace for a few minutes. Lois breaks away.
"Are you alright?"
"I don't know. Anyway, I think I might go take a shower." She says retrieving a few things from her bags.
"Ok, I'm right here if you need me." She smiles sadly and nods, heading into the adjoining bathroom.
I flop backwards, arms stretched above my head. So many emotions coursing through me. I wish Clark was here, I wish Johnathan was here. My throat constricts and I feel the hot tears welling in my eyes. I sniff determined not to let them fall. I send my love to Johnathan in heaven also asking for his guidance.
I then shake my head and try to focus on what Lois just told me.
"I don't know. I don't know? What sort of an answer is that?" I ask myself. Letting the steaming water spray down my back, massaging, relieving. I stick my head under the water, trying to clear my head of all the emotion and the vivid images lingering in the recesses of my mind. A baby kicks; I smile, focusing on the life within me. I turn the water off and grab a towel, wrapping it around me as best as I can. I stand in front of the mirror, wiping a hand over it to clear some of the condensation.
I look at my face, long and hard. The person staring back at me, almost a complete stranger. Someone who reacts on emotions and not instinct. The mirror begins to fog up again, I laugh as my reflection becomes distorted and fuzzy. Oh the irony. If only daddy could see me now, my thoughts turn bitter and I decide to dry off and get dressed. No longer in the mood for soul searching and self reflection. I emerge from the bathroom fully dressed, a trail of steam following me. I notice Mrs Kent asleep on the bed. I lightly lay down next to her. My eyes focused on her face. Remembering every detail. I smile slightly, she looks so peaceful and years younger in her sleep. I only hope that I can be half the woman that she is. My eyelids grow heavy and I succumb to the nothingness.
2 weeks later, Gotham Charity Ball, 8 pm:
"Remind me again why I'm here?" I ask Bruce, preferring to be back at the mansion in my bunny slippers and PJ's watching old movies with Mrs Kent.
"Because you're pretending to be my pregnant girlfriend so people won't ask too many questions surrounding the paternity of your children."
"I know why, just why? You know what I mean? Don't worry, let's just not stay long and don't you dare leave me alone with any of those snobby socialites."
"You know, it's not like I like these things either." I glare at him. "Whatever. Just smile and pretend that you're having a good time."
"Charades, and I get to play the arm ornament. Wonder who'll guess what I am first?"
Bruce sends me a disapproving glare as the limo door is pulled open. I plaster a fake smile on my face and step out of the car as Bruce offers me his hand. I'm blinded by the flashes of the waiting crowd and deafened by the questions being thrown at Bruce. He politely waves and leads me inside.
"You alright?"
"Yeah, I don't think I could ever get used to that."
"I don't think anybody does." We hand our coats over to the awaiting and gawking bell boy.
"You ready for this?"
"I don't think I'll ever be ready."
"Well, let's go then." I misinterpret and think we're leaving when Bruce tugs me into the ballroom. Stupid man. Like seagulls to a chip, the socialites hound us, question after question. I let Bruce do all the talking, only answering when directly asked a question, all the while repeating, 'be polite, just be nice, don't be yourself.' We're standing almost in the middle of the ballroom, the crowd surrounding us starting to diminish.
"Lo!" a stern voice from behind me. My father's voice. I wince.
"Busted." I whisper to myself. I turn around to come face to face with a very pissed off General. Bruce quietly excuses himself and makes himself scarce.
"Daddy." I offer sweetly.
The General forces a smile, "A word outside Lo."
The General storms off, heading for the rear balcony. My heart races, I really don't want to confront the General, especially not when he's in one of his moods. I follow him, trying to plaster a smile on my face at the inquisitive faces of the snobs surrounding me. With every step my heartbeat increases, thundering in my ears. There's a rolling twinge of pain in my stomach, I try to ignore it, putting it down to stress. I come to stand behind the General, shivering in the cool night air. He keeps his back to me, looking out on the grand gardens beyond.
"I'm disappointed Lo, why didn't you tell me? How? When?" I don't know. How could I? What do I say? How do I say it? I'm speechless. Another pain rolls down my stomach. The General turns to me, tears shining in his eyes. He starts yelling at me, throwing question after question. I clam up; the General's words all jumbling together. My vision goes blurry and the pains in my stomach grow stronger and more unbearable. I think the General's turned around to continue his tirade. I really don't know, I double over with pain.
"Daddy…" I weakly call out as my legs buckle and I fade into nothingness.
I fade in and out of consciousness, neither here nor there at the same time. Flashes of color and sound assault me at random intervals. The General is holding me in his arms, calling for help and begging me not to leave him. Nothing….a bumpy car trip, hushed voices quarreling in the background. Nothing….
Mrs. Kent's panicked voice full of reassuring words. Nothing... Bright lights, immense pain and the sound of ceaseless chatter. Nothing….
"You have to push honey." Mrs. Kent urged…more pain.
"Come on Lo, you can do it."
"Daddy?"
"I'm here baby, c'mon. You have to push." I do, my body protesting, coursing with pain. Nothing…
A baby screaming…. "It's a girl." …more pain. It goes dark.
"Oh God, we're losing her." Nothing…
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