Gaaah, I know, I know, I'm late! I was supposed to update this story daily, but I got side-tracked and FanFiction was being a bully and I was stressing over some pretty stupid things and I wanted to update other stories and and and...*collapses into a mess* GAAAAH!
*clears throat* Anyways. It took me a while to whip this rant together - at one point, I just deleted the entire thing. O.O
However, I hope you'll overlook that little fact and enjoy!
Rant Five. Alternate Universes
"Alternate Universes are something that loads of FanFiction users like to write about." Ahsoka stated matter-of-factly, clasping her hands together. "And I'm not going to lie – the Alternate Universe bit of FanFiction can go on and on and on!"
"Basically, anything can happen in AU stories. A certain character might be allowed to live, another character might die (even though he/she wasn't supposed to,) et cetera. AU stories can also merge with crossovers, in which none of the original characters have anything to do with their original fandom." Ahsoka added. "For example, some Merlin and Harry Potter crossovers are AU – does Arthur Pendragon really have magic in Merlin? Of course not! But in the crossover, everyone is allowed to have magic, as long as the writer wants them to."
Ahsoka grinned. "And the best part? No one has the right to judge you because of it! I mean, there's always going to be a few annoying reviewers who like to say things like, why would you do that in this story? or I don't think that's a good idea…" Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "You know what? When you see those reviews, just ignore it because in AU stories, you are allowed to do what you want – that goes for any story you write. You are in charge, not the other people or the cynics."
Ahsoka puffed out a breath and straightened herself. "AU stories don't have to be crossovers, though – lots of fandoms have AU stories. One of the most common AU stories out there is probably Modern Day AU. Usually, you'll see these AU stories for fandoms that are set in a different time period or place or galaxy than ours." Ahsoka shrugged. "For example, Doctor Who modern day AU stories would mean that each and every character in the fandom (including the Doctor) would be set in today's time period and have nothing to do with the actual, original fandom except for perhaps their personalities and their names."
Ahsoka lifted her hands. "Yes, I know it sounds a bit confusing, but it's rather fun to play around with. There's so many things to do in AU stories, you see – you can make sure that a bad guy in a fandom suddenly turns good, or if the fandom had an unhappy ending, you can twist the ending around so that everyone will have a happy-ever-after."
Ahsoka paused. "Although, strangely enough, a lot of writers like to avoid happy-ever-afters…again, there's that entire theory about FanFiction writers being psychopaths or sociopaths in disguise."
"Just kidding!" Ahsoka said cheerfully. "But just to list some examples of AU stories – there's always, always, always a modern day AU story in which the characters are in school. Now, if they already are in school in the actual show/book/game/whatever-your-fandom-is, it'll probably be something along the lines of being in a different school – college, high school, elementary school, middle school, whatever. It doesn't even matter what pairing you choose! (Unless, of course, it's a submarine – ugh.)"
Ahsoka threw her hands up in the air. "I suppose AU stories can go hand-in-hand with random pairings – you can even make stuff up like a teacher liking a student, a student liking a teacher, (those last two seem wildly popular,) a student liking a student, a teacher liking a teacher…the list can go on and on and on and on…"
"Anyways." Ahsoka cleared her throat. "There's loads of other AU stories – you can have two people in a coffee-shop and meeting each other, two people in an asylum, (which, strangely enough, isn't written that often in the Clone Wars fanfiction archive…oh, I shouldn't give you all too many ideas – you're crazy enough as it is…) two people in a brothel, (where did that even come from? No! Don't write about that! I beg of you!) two people in a spaceship, two people working in a bookshop…again, the AU thing in FanFiction can literally go on forever. You can't go wrong with AU stories unless, of course, you're either terrible with grammar and spelling or…just naturally a bad writer."
Ahsoka frowned. "That sounded mean. I'm sorry. Gah. I really am awful at these rants, aren't I? Most of the time, I just seem to annoy people." She slapped her hands together. "But if I'm annoying you people, I suppose I should annoy you just a bit longer, right?"
"AU pairings – very much like actual crack pairings or those pairings-that-don't-have-any-proof-to-support-it can just…be anything. Literally." Ahsoka said, shaking her head. "Because the words Alternate Universe hold power in FanFiction. It's actually the closest you'll ever get to trolling your readers and getting away with it because, again, AU is one of the biggest Get-Out-of-Jail cards in FanFiction."
"Of course, just because I said that, don't go around shipping random people or making twisted, out-of-control story-lines because let's face it – you're not supposed to do certain things, even if you're allowed." Ahsoka shrugged. "For example – you don't have to study for that super important exam that's due tomorrow morning, but who the heck doesn't study? You're still gonna study for that thing!"
Ahsoka paused. "Actually, don't answer that. I don't want to have a flood of comments about people boasting how they got a good grade on an exam they didn't properly study for."
"And that's all I have on AU stuff!" Ahsoka trilled, placing her hands on her hips. "Of course, I might have missed a few AU storylines, but that's all I could come up with for now – goodbye!"
A/N - Well, I've received some not-so-nice Private Messages about this story, most of them just telling me how I'm being rather rude to everyone on FanFiction. :/ I'm sorry if I'm hurting your feelings - I really am. This was supposed to be satirical and crack-ish...however, for the love of Gallifrey, if you don't agree with me, do you have to be mean about it? Sheesh. Hate is overrated, peoples! Get that through your skull!
*puffs out a breath* As always, review! I would love to hear your thoughts! (That are hopefully not about signing me up for therapy...*smiles sheepishly*) Constructive criticism is always great! (Regarding any actual, textual mistakes, please...) But flames are not!
