Inspiration sometimes hits at odd times and this is what came to me a couple of evenings ago. Many thanks to everyone who takes the time to read and perhaps review.
Additionally many thanks to Mel and Claire for the support and advice.
This is a post Ascension piece from Kensi's POV. Hope you enjoy!
Life and death, the alpha and omega of us all. There is no running from it, there is no hiding. Each representing a fixed moment in time and space, what we squeeze in between those two rapidly narrowing points are some of the few choices we have in the matter. What we make of that time is what ultimately defines us. Each event and happening creates a chapter in a book that can be neither erased nor rewritten. Sometimes these things break us, sometimes they make us, and every once in a while they rip us clean in two.
And Sidorov had ripped them clean in two.
The familiar dance they performed each day was suddenly without music, the score devoid of notes, the band departed. The silence left in its wake was uncertain, the next steps to take unclear and un-choreographed.
So in the aftermath of so much trauma, of so much loss, and feeling as if that loss might still extend to their partnership, Deeks' words were worth a lot.
For Kensi right then, standing in the middle of the bullpen, they were the sun and moon combined. They offered back the hope she had felt wrenched from her body only seconds earlier; they gave comfort to her heart, which had split and crumbled at just the suggestion of distance forming between them.
That rare moment of honesty, those words so plain in their meaning, every veil and mask removed – they had been everything she needed to cling hold of in order to believe that light might exist at the other end of this dark tunnel.
Tears stung and fell from both their eyes, all that could have been following their unplanned kiss laying in tatters around them. Another loss they now had to bear. And one which, had they shared this honesty sooner, had they shown the same bravery with their feelings as they did in facing down criminals, might not have been quite to grievous.
But there was no going back, no changing what had passed. This chapter had been written, the pages turned afresh in preparation for what would come next.
And what would come next? After all this story was still far from complete. So in amongst the ocean of guilt and regret, there still swam the tiniest amount of hope, because despite everything he had been through Marty Deeks was still there. There was still a future to be written, to be created, to be played out in his own unique style. And one which Kensi hoped with every fibre of her being would include her.
Opening her mouth to respond, words of open truth and honesty formed steadfastly about her tongue ready to be voiced, ready to be heard. but it was not to be right then as Callen and Sam entered the office halting their progress from her lips. Kensi could feel the moment slipping away, and despite the levity her team mates brought to the room, despite their firm and confident stance beside him, she couldn't help but fear that her partner and friend might also do the same.
But for the time being Deeks was there, he was with them, they had hold of him. And when Kensi considered all that had happened to lead them to this point, to this moment, "for whatever it's worth," was actually worth the world.
The End
