Normally, if we find ourselves against an opponent we can easily beat, we take full advantage of it. We may find ourselves ecstatic at the prospect of an easy win, and at other times, we find ourselves bored of our opponents because we were not challenged enough.
However that was a far cry from what Nathaniel was thinking. He showed his opponent no mercy, but he wanted to lose. He was hoping that he would be outdone by his opponent's tactical skills and that he would find himself stumped at the fact that he lost.
Yet instead, he found himself going over the basics of chess for the umpteenth time that day. He was able to counter each and every move his opponent made, which was exactly what he did not want to happen. He tried to keep a straight face throughout the match, but his opponent's next move made him sigh in frustration and bury his face in his hands.
Then he told himself it was only to be expected when your opponent is a child.
"How many times must I tell you, Ariana? You don't use the king this early in a game, and you most certainly do not move the king into check…"
He then moved his rook, just next to the opposing king, and he had won the third match in a row.
"…because if you were to do that, it would be checkmate for you and the rest of your pieces."
The child stared aghast at the chessboard, indicating that she was so confident in her abilities that she was unable to foresee the outcome of the match. Then she banged her fists on the table and glared at her father in anger.
"You're not playing fair!" she yelled in frustration as she continued to hit the table, "Cheater! Cheater!"
"First of all, I did not cheat. You are obviously upset that you lost. And second, all is fair on the battlefield, the sooner you know that, the better."
Ariana looked down at the chessboard in dissatisfaction, and out of boredom, began to tilt a pawn piece from side to side.
"Why do we have to do this, Father? Chess has nothing to do with being a tactician!"
"Oh yes it does. You can think of the chess board as a battlefield, and of the pieces as our army. Where you move your pieces and what pieces you choose to move can be the difference between a win and a loss."
"But chess pieces aren't soldiers!"
He sighed. Perhaps it would be better for him to explain it in ways that a young child would understand, after all, one could not expect a sapling to grow into a tree in a day.
"I know they aren't, but use your imagination and pretend that they are."
"Oh, I get it. So when we play chess, we are pretending that we're fighting a real battle, right?"
"Precisely. Now, that's enough chess for today. It's almost five o'clock. You have chores to do."
The sound of the word 'chores' made the child cringe, and she furiously knocked over the table as a gesture of defiance, causing the chess board and pieces to go flying across the room.
"Ariana-"
"You'll never let me have fun! It's always chess, studying, housework, and boring things!"
Nathaniel held on to his daughter's wrists firmly and stared at her with a stern expression.
"Ouch! Stop that!"
"Don't you use that tone with me. I am trying to teach you as best as I can. Whatever I do, I do for your own good, and you'd do well to appreciate it."
Tears welled up in the child's eyes as her father tightened his grip.
"You're hurting me!"
"Apologize to me first."
"…I'm sorry, Father."
He let go of his child, then tried his best not to soften as she looked at the floor with teary eyes.
"Stop crying. Now clean up the mess you made."
Ariana reluctantly picked up the table, the chessboard, and pieces and placed them properly in the box. Then she went to the coat rack near the door to pick up her cloak, shoes, and basket.
"What do you have to do today?"
"Buy food from the market and go to the blacksmith to get your sword back."
"Good, now I want you home by six, is that clear?"
"Yes, father."
Nathaniel sat down at the table and sighed as he heard the door close behind him. Then he looked at the chessboard before him and began to reflect on what had just transpired. Though he didn't want to tell her, as if he did it would probably go to her head, Ariana was progressing at a rapid rate. She went from totally clueless about tactics to being able to last five minutes in a chess match in a matter of four days. If she continued like this, she would probably be able to win a match or two by the time she started school.
It was startling to him how far they had come. He remembered that day so long ago, when he wondered if saving the child was an impulsive act, when he found himself ready to throw up his arms in frustration at the prospect of raising a baby, which proved to be an extremely difficult task. He was so inept at parenting those first few months that he had to ask Pheros, who also had a child, for help, and he hated having to rely on people, so he found himself gritting his teeth whenever she had to explain something to him. In retrospect however, he was glad for the help, as he got to a point where he would be able to parent the baby on his own thanks to her.
It was only when the baby was six months old when Nathaniel actually started to become attached to it, and coincidentally, also when he realized he couldn't just keep calling her 'it' or 'the baby' for much longer. He was not good at naming things, and didn't have much of an aesthetic sense, so the most he could do was name her exactly what she was. She bore the mark of Grima on her right hand… so did she have His blessings because of it? Or was she cursed because her parents were from a fanatical cult that made the entire religion look bad? He decided it was the former and chose the name Ariana, the holy one. He wondered if it was ironic, but it was all he could come up with, so he did not care.
Even though Pheros had helped him get through those months, others were not so understanding. Walhart was slightly sceptical when he was told that Nathaniel had adopted a child he found on the battlefield. Some other soldiers, obviously the ones that had no children, claimed that being a father would make him weak, and that it would be better for him if he had nobody to protect so that he would never get emotionally involved.
In truth, becoming a parent only made him more determined. It turned out to him that an ideal was not a very good motive. He often felt hopeless knowing that the 'common good' would never truly be achieved. However, knowing that he had a child to protect and provide for gave him a sense of purpose, and made him feel that all he did was not for naught.
Six years managed to fly by since the day he adopted her. Now, he would have to part with his child in a mere ten months. He wondered, would she be distraught upon being carted off to boarding school? Or would she understand her father's decision and handle her situation with grace? He hoped it would be the latter, and had been training Ariana to be strong for as long as he could remember. She was the child of a tactician and spent most of her life among soldiers, so she could not afford to be soft. Eventually, she'd have to start taking over for him, and even start fighting on the front lines…
He was suddenly struck with a vision of his daughter covered in blood with a spear in her back and shuddered. For that one moment, Nathaniel found himself conflicted. He, and by extension, Ariana were obligated to fight for their country if it needed them to. However, he was extremely reluctant to put her at risk. He didn't want to let paternal love get the better of him, but he could not help it. Ariana was all he had, and he did not want to lose her or see her suffer in any way.
Therefore it was all the more imperative that she hardens her heart. It was all the more imperative that she learns to face the world without fear.
As if on cue, the door opened, and he turned around to see Ariana had returned with a basket of bread, cheese, and sausages in one hand and a sword wrapped in cloth in the other.
"I've returned, father."
"You're on time, that's good."
Ariana placed her father's sword near the door and gave the basket of food to her father. They sat down at the table and began to eat their sandwiches in silence. Ariana was too focused on her dinner to think of anything else, but Nathaniel was wondering how to tell her that she would be far from home in less than a year.
She was just so… innocent. She completely and utterly trusted him, and as far as she was concerned he could do no wrong. Sure, like all children, she would get frustrated with him, yell at him, disagree with him at times, but for the most part, she looked up to him.
"Ariana…"
And now, she would have to be separated from him, and there was a danger of this separation breaking that absolute trust.
"Father?" her voice was muffled as she was trying to eat and speak at the same time.
"Don't talk with food in your mouth, it's bad manners."
She swallowed the food in her mouth and then looked at her father, he appeared to be trying to tell her something, and it didn't look like good news. Perhaps she had done a mistake and would be confronted about it, or perhaps, he was frustrated with her and needed to tell her.
"Did I do something bad, Father?"
The look in her eyes was earnest and pleading. Nathaniel tried his best not to be swayed by it.
"No, nothing like that."
"Do you think I'm not good enough to be a tactician like you?"
"This has nothing to do with your behaviour or tactical skills. Actually, there's something you should know."
"Is it bad?"
"Why do you always think everything that comes out of my mouth is bad news? Now stop asking questions and listen to what I have to say."
"Yes, Father."
Nathaniel began to think, wondering how exactly to frame his sentences so that Ariana would not be too shocked by the news.
"Ariana, how old will you be in ten months?"
She raised an eyebrow, she knew how to count, so why was her father asking her something so obvious?
"Seven."
"And what happens to all children when they turn seven?"
"They start going to school."
"Right. Now listen, there are other children like you, other children whose parents are vital additions to the Valmese army. These children cannot go to ordinary schools, as their parents will be far too preoccupied with their duties to be watching them on a regular basis. Plus, regular schools will not give them the skills they need to follow in their parents footsteps."
"So what happens to them? Is there a special kind of school just for them?"
"That's exactly what I want to tell you. In ten months, you will be attending military school. Do you know what that means?"
"That I'll learn to be a tactician like you in school?"
"Yes, and no. It also means that you will be living in the school, away from me. I won't be there to tell you what you should and should not do. I won't be there to take care of you. You will have to take care of yourself. It will be difficult. You will have to work very hard. Your mind and body will be put to the test on a regular basis, but you cannot let yourself be affected by it."
Ariana stared at her father for a very long time. Her face appeared to be expressionless, and then she started to furrow her eyebrows and tilt her head from side to side, which appeared to be her way of trying to process what she had just been told.
"Does that mean I'll never see you again?"
"You'll come home for the summer and winter holidays, but for the most part; the school will become your new home."
Ariana sighed, stared at the floor and began to kick the table with her feet. Then she looked up. Her face was solemn, but she didn't appear very sad.
"I want to go to school and learn a lot of things. Most of all, I want to learn to be a tactician like you, and military school is going to teach me that. You have a real army to take care of and lots of work, so you can't always be there to teach me…"
Nathaniel was pleasantly surprised at the maturity of his child; it seemed to him that he had nothing to worry about…
"Yes, that's… exactly right."
"But I don't want to leave you, and I'm scared. I'm scared that I won't do well, and you'll be angry at me if I don't do well…"
…but of course, she was still a child. She understood why her father was doing this to her, but she was still legitimately frightened at the idea of being alone and away from home. He was not going to fill her with false hope, but he knew that scaring her even more would also be a bad idea.
She looked down at her now empty plate again, and appeared to be pensive.
"And there are going to be other kids there. They're probably stronger and smarter than me…"
"Then you have to become stronger and smarter than them."
"What if I can't do it?"
"There is no such thing as 'I can't do it.' You have to."
"…I'll try."
Ariana got up from her seat and took both hers and her father's plates, then went to the wash basin to wash them. Then she placed the washed plates on the countertop and turned to her father who was still sitting at the table.
"What do you want me to do now, Father?"
"What would I want you to do by now?"
Ariana was silent for a few seconds, and then it dawned on her.
"Usually you make me read a new chapter in your strategy book…"
"Then start reading, I'll test you later on."
"All right, Father."
Nathaniel watched as Ariana sat at the table with a bulky book of tactics and began to read. He sighed, hoping that a strict and disciplined environment would strengthen his fragile child.
