Ok, changing the story a bit here, mainly because I don't like Leng, I don't think he bought anything to the Mass effect series, and was nowhere near bad ass enough be Shepard's Nemesis. I thought his whole character was lazy of Bioware, so some scenes will be different, but the gist of the story will remain the same. Warning ahead, I've written a few gory scenes and this whole chapter is a bit of a monster, really trying to focus on what's going on with Shepard here.
Shepard stopped outside the executors office, gave the door a once over and then moved towards it "It's locked, I can.."
Vega crashed past her, ripping the door off its hinges and sprawling out into the room beyond. Shepard stepped over him, shaking her head disapprovingly.
"I could have just hacked the lock" she gave him a hand up, watched as he struggled to his feet and then pushed him back out into the corridor, hearing voices "Go!" she hissed, directing him to the end of the corridor "clear the area, I'll search for the councillor" she ushered him forward as she pulled her pistol and pressed herself to the wall just inside the room. The sound of shuffling feet and muffled noise filtered down the corridor and Shepard waited as Vega moved through the blinking light until he rounded a corner and vanished from sight. She took a deep breath and scanned the empty looking room, her thumb switching the safety off on her gun.
"No" she muttered to herself as the pistol showed no sign of life. It lay forlornly in her hands, a lump of useless cold metal. She shook it and tried again. Nothing. She looked around; needing a close range weapon, knowing her sniper rifle was useless in the confined space. With a growl she reached for a length of metal that had split from the frame of the door and snatched it up in her hand. She shuffled through the dark room for a few paces and came to a small, overturned desk. She scanned it and reached down to flick on a small upturned table lamp. It blinked once and then died; leaving the one floor to ceiling window as the only source of light. The place was a ruin, and there was evidence of a fight, but there was no councillor. Shepard sighed and turned to leave, when something caught her eye, a flicker of something by one of the overturned computer tables. Suddenly the councillor appeared, de-cloaking in front of Shepard's eyes.
"Councillor" Shepard let out a relieved breath.
"Commander Shepard, thank you, you have to help me, Udina is working with Cerberus, I have proof, he is going to..." his voice died as his chest exploded, the end of a sword visable through the front of his sternum. He staggered forward, clutching at the gaping wound, his voice gurgling "Commander..." he bubbled as the sword was pulled free from behind, and he clattered forward, falling in a wet heap on the floor.
Another figure de-cloaked and Shepard sucked in a breath. The figure moved carefully towards her. Long and thin like a black spider in the darkness, balanced on the balls of its feet. A chink of light from the window reflected off slits of red and Shepard's blood ran cold.
"Phantom" Shepard muttered, weighing the piece of metal in her hand, knowing it wasn't going to be enough.
"Commander" The robotic tone washed over her. There was a jingling sound and a flash of metal in the dark. Shepard felt her makeshift weapon get ripped from her fingers and saw it fly over the phantom's shoulder and clatter away across the room. Unarmed, but the phantom didn't give Shepard long to worry about it. There was something in her other hand, a knife, and she threw it at Shepard. Shepard ducked out of the way as it hissed past her ear, then the phantom jerked her other arm and something slashed Shepard across the face, just under her eye. She staggered back against the wall, bobbing away as another strike struck a shower of sparks as it ripped back along the wall, the last of the phantom's strikes caught Shepard on the chest, the Monomolecular blade slashing through her armour as she tried to get away, spattering drops of blood against the wall.
Shepard dived at her but her out spread arms caught nothing. There was another jingle and she felt her foot dragged from under her as he ankle snapped around painfully, caught by the Phantom as she ducked by. With a groan Shepard sprawled out on her face and started to push herself up. The Cerberus woman was suddenly on top of her, she could feel her knee pressing into her back, could hear her breath rasping through the outlet on her helmet.
Shepard grunted, scrabbling to her knees, lumbering unsteadily to her feet. The woman was still on her back, all her weight bearing down on her. Shepard flailed around with her hands but couldn't get at her, couldn't throw her off, she was stuck fast to her, arms tightening around her neck. Shepard could hardly breathe now, so she tottered forward a few steps, then threw herself backwards as hard as she could.
"Urgh" the phantom grunted into her ear as Shepard's weight crushed her into the floor, her grip coming loose enough for Shepard to get free and twist around. She rolled over and grabbed at the weak spot in the Phantoms armour, the soft area of neck between her helmet and body. Shepard dug her fingers in deep and started squeezing. The Cerberus solider kneed at her, dug at her with her fists, but Shepard's weight was on her now and the blows were weak.
They snarled at each other, animal noises, their faces only inches apart. A couple of spots of blood trickled from the cut on her cheek and pattered on the phantoms helmet. Shepard stood up, half lifted her off the floor and flung her bodily out through the window next to them, the sound of shattering glass was loud in the empty space. Shepard peered out and watched dispassionately as the phantom flopped and bounced off the building as she fell the two stories to the balcony below and landed with a hollow thud on her side. With a sigh she turned and hobbled back to the councillor, cursing her twisted ankle as she crouched down next to him, turning him over and hoping against hope he was still alive. Dull, lifeless glazed eyes peered at her from a face twisted with pain.
"Shit" Shepard cursed "Bailey the Salarian councillor is dead"
"Oh Crap" Bailey uttered back over the comm. "Got some more bad news for you Shepard"
"What?"
"The other councillors are with Udina, they have a spectre escort too. They are making their way to a shuttle not far from you as we speak"
Spectre Shepard swallowed, it could only be Ash "Understood, send me locations, we'll head them off"
"Sending them now Commander"
Shepard looked over the map on her omi tool, memorizing the route, they weren't far from her position, they might still be able to stop Udina.
Sounds crept up on her from all around, echoing down the corridor from who knew where. Distant rattling and banging, shouts and cries. She stared into darkness ahead, limping, running with sweat, one hand on the wall to steady herself. She leaned round a corner, trying to see if it was clear then felt something clasp her shoulder.
"Easy Shepard" Vega looked at her wide eyed "What happened? Are you alright?"
"Phantom" Shepard muttered, glancing at Vega who had his assault rifle drawn and pointed down the corridor "Give me your Pistol Vega, mine's trashed" She reached out and accepted the pistol he offered.
"Low on Clips Shepard, there were more shit heads than we bargained for" he muttered
"Yeah" Shepard reloaded the weapon and stepped forward, grimacing as her foot rolled awkwardly on her ankle "The councillors dead, assassinated by the phantom. Udina is trying to escape with the other councillors, they aren't far from here. Let's go" she gave the marine the best reassuring smile she could and indicated for him to go ahead. They crept out down a flight of stairs, into a dim hallway panelled with plastic. Vega ducked from shadow to shadow, moving fast, but Shepard could do no more than limp after him, dragging her leg , trying not to squeal with pain whenever she put her weight on it.
"Your leg" Vega looked back at her "It's bad?"
"Worse than I thought" Shepard growled as she pulled alongside him "I'll walk it off, keep going" Shepard indicated for him to push ahead, giving the corridor behind them another glance as black figures spilled in behind them, shouting "Go! The councillors just ahead" Shepard shoved Vega forward, pushing him out of the way as bullets ricocheted off the wall. Vega sprinted forward, opening the door ahead of them and filling the corridor with light.
Shepard hobbled after him, sagging with relief as she staggered through the door letting it close behind her. Vega sealed the door with his omni tool, smirking at the sound of infuriated voices as they shouted at them from the other side.
"Shepard?" Shepard spun at the familiar voice, her eyes going wide as Ashley levelled her gun straight at her "What the hell is going on? You bring Cerberus with you?" She snarled and moved between Shepard and the three remaining councillors.
"What do you think?" Shepard pointed her pistol at Udina "He's the guy you want be aiming at Ash, not me. Udina sold you all out, this is his fault" she nearly laughed at his outraged expression "The Salarian councillor is dead because of him"
"Shepard" Vega moved close to her, his voice low "That door ain't gonna hold long"
"You can't be serious!" Udina shouted, pulling a pistol from his waistband and aiming it at Shepard "You bought them here Shepard, be honest, this is your plan, you've always been a Cerberus dog!"
"Shepard" Ash looked at her, her expression pained "Why should I believe you?"
Shepard felt a white hot ball of rage build in her stomach "I don't give a fuck if you believe me. Any minute now, a corridor of Cerberus troops is going to burst through that door and cut us all down. We don't have time for this Ash, we really don't" Shepard could see the flicker of doubt in Ashley's eyes, and suddenly she felt her anger drain away, replaced by a wash of sadness for the trust and friendship they used to have.
"Commander" Vega warned again as the door shuddered, opening a fraction.
"Alright" Ash said, spinning on her heel and levelling her rifle at Udina "Drop the gun" she ordered, surprised when he made an angry move towards her. Ash didn't give him time though, she pulled the trigger, dispassionately speaking into her comm. almost immediately "Bailey get me a shuttle now!"
Shepard didn't let her surprise show on her face, instead she roared at Ashley "Get the councillors to safety Ash, stay with them, send the shuttle back for us"
The spectre hesitated, opened her mouth to speak but thought better of it. With a curt nod she ushered the two remaining councillors further along the balcony, sighting the shuttle just as she heard the door open and the sound of gun fire.
"Shit" Vega cursed "Nice fucking plan Shepard" he snarled.
Shepard heard muffled shouting behind the door and turned just in time to see a mass of Cerberus figures spilling out onto the balcony. The one at the front took aim but Shepard had already fired, shooting his rifle from his hands and continuing to fire, taking the second solider out with one continuous stream. She could see Vega disarming a third but then she stumbled as a Centurion crashed into her. Something hit her in the back of the head and she tripped, spun and slipped, lashed out with her pistol butt and hit something soft. Somebody screamed and then everything was a mess of clashing, scraping weapons, curses and cries, ragged breathing and gun fire. Shepard reached out and pulled a knife from the scabbard on the Centurions leg and swung at his visor, but she was tired, and the swing held no real power. He fired a shot at her but it went wide, knocking plastic panelling off the wall as it bit into the material beneath.
"Oof" she coughed as he kneed her in the stomach, something hit her in the leg and she nearly fell. She could hear someone yelling behind her, but it seemed far away. Her chest hurt, her mouth was sour and there was blood on her, all over her. She could hardly breathe. The centurion stepped forward and through his visor Shepard caught a glint of a smile on his pallid grey face. She lurched forward, her foot slipping, falling down to one knee. She couldn't lift the knife anymore. There was no strength left. Nothing. The room was growing blurry.
"Shepard!" Vega roared as the Cerberus solider pinned him to the wall, rifle rammed into the underside of his jaw.
"We can use him" The solider said into his helmet comm. There was a pause "Yes sir" the solider glanced across at the another centurion who was stood in the door "Get him prepped"
Vega struggled, watching as Shepard stumbled and fell, eyes defeated. Some legend. He looked away.
Shepard looked up, her eyes meeting Vega's through the chaos. He was disappointed, ashamed, but she wasn't finished, she wasn't anywhere near finished. She glanced at her hands, there was blood on her, but blood was good, there was always blood. Her fingers sought out the cracks in the plastic panelling next to her, prising between them, pulling herself up. Her leg hurt and she grinned, the pain was good. Something moved in front of her.
"You're hurt Commander Shepard" The centurion spoke, his voice a tickling inflection "Surrender, Cerberus is not without mercy, even for you" the barrel of his rifle danced in the air.
"Hurt?" Shepard scoffed "I'll show you hurt" she tumbled forward, flowed beneath the rifle, slippery, swinging the knife in a great low circle. It crunched into the Centurions knee and cracked it back the wrong way, scythed on into his other leg, dug into the soft unprotected space where the knee bent and ripped it out from under him. He gave a muffled scream as he spun, turning around and landing with a thump, shattered legs flopping.
Something dug into Shepard's back, but there was no pain. It was message that let her know where her next target was standing. She reeled around and the knife followed her in a furious, beautiful, irresistible arc. It crunched into the soldier's helmet then pierced him through the neck as Shepard ploughed at him, snatched him off his feet and flung him through the air. He bounced off the wall and crumpled to the floor in a bloodied choking heap.
A knife whirled, hissing and landed in the wall millimetres from Shepard's shoulder with a thud. The one in black armour, the woman by the door, she had thrown it. She was on the other side of two corpses, sighting Shepard down her sniper rifle. A terrible mistake. She sprang over the bodies, her knife still swinging. The woman ducked the first great swing, and the second. She was fast and clever, but not clever enough. The third blow bit her in the side, a glancing bite. It only smashed her ribs and knocked her screaming to her knees. The next blow was better, a circle of flesh and metal that smashed into her face and ripped her head half off, showering blood across the floor.
Shepard plucked the knife from the wall and tossed it to the floor, smirking. A shot rung past her, and she turned, but before the soldier could fire another shot she was on him, wrapping both hands around his grip on his weapon. The solider struggled and strained but it was useless.
Shepard snarled through bloodied teeth "Cerberus may not be without mercy" she flung the man back against the wall and squeezed her hands around his grip on the weapon, turning it until it was pointing at his chest "But I am" she roared, forcing the man to pull the trigger and blow himself apart.
The man screamed as he died, screamed and screamed. But Shepard had no pity and she watched as the screams bubbled and died. Her fingers were slick with blood and she flicked it onto the floor. The one by Vega was now sitting, hanging limp on the floor, head back as if staring at the ceiling.
"Where's the rest of you?" Shepard bellowed at the now empty corridor "Where's the rest of you?" her voice died off now as she caught Vega looking at her. He stepped away, watching her, keeping the distance between them, his eyes hard.
"You ok Shepard?" Vega didn't want to get close, afraid that Shepard wasn't in control, afraid of what he'd seen and what she might do.
"No" Shepard stumbled as the room spun, swam around her as she eyed the bodies on the ground. So many, had she done all this? She didn't remember. She staggered, blinked, sleepy as she dropped to her knees, looking at the bloody mess on her hands. She'd lost control, she'd promised never to do that again, promised herself. She let out a great wracking sigh and lent forward, hands splayed on the cold floor as she fought to keep control of her stomach.
"Shepard?" Vega muttered, tentatively.
Shepard looked up at him, her gaze falling on his outstretched hand. She looked at it, so clean compared to her own. With a groan she reached out and took it, allowing herself to be pulled up.
"Lets get out of here" He said quietly.
"Yeah" Shepard didn't look at the bodies, didn't step in the river of blood.
"Well I can't get any sense out of that thing" Bailiey growled, wincing as he walked towards Shepard. They were stood in the outer office of C-Sec headquarters amongst a pile of bricks and rubble. Shepard was reading a data pad, her free hand rubbing her temple as she coughed, the acrid smoke from one of the small fires outside the shattered office window tickling her throat.
"Someone get that damn fire put out!" Shepard barked.
"Yes ma'am!" A Turian C-Sec officer went scurrying past.
"What do you want me to do about it Bailey?" Shepard asked, her face smeared with dirt and blood, hair damp with sweat "Like it's going to talk to me?"
"It's worth a shot Shepard" Bailey muttered, watching as Shepard threw the data pad down onto the desk and indicated for him to lead the way.
She fell into step behind him with Garrus close at her heels as they manoeuvred through the shattered hallway towards a small cell at the rear of the C-Sec compound.
"Best of luck Shepard" Bailey said as he unlocked the door and stepped away.
Shepard sighed as the full weight of her position and influence settled on her shoulders. There were times in her life when being Commander Shepard had been a good thing, but the times when it had been a bad thing were vastly beginning to outnumber them. She had a headache, her left hand was burnt from where a thermal clip had ejected and caught it on the way out, she had a weird cramping sensation going on in her right calf and her ankle was throbbing. She was miserable, soul sick, and didn't want to be stuck in a room facing down something she was terrified that one day she might become.
"You got my back with this Garrus?" Shepard didn't look at him, she just stared at the door.
"Always" he replied.
"No matter what?"
"No matter what"
"Garrus" Shepard muttered "whatever happens in this room stays in this room"
"Understood Commander"
The Cerberus Phantom flinched as Shepard threw the door open. The chair the phantom was tied to, a small metallic thing, was balanced precariously against a thick set of cabinets, and when she jerked, its legs rasped on the floor and sent the chair and the girl sliding to the ground with a whack. She hit her head on the metal plate floor and cried out.
Shepard sighed. She walked over, armoured boots scraping on the floor with each hollow step, and dragged the chair upright, kicking a piece of broken Cerberus armour away as she did so. It was a surprising show of strength from the spectre, lifting a fully armoured woman and chair up with one arm, and it wasn't lost on Garrus or the Cerberus woman. Shepard stood over her, reached around the back of her helmet and roughly yanked it free, the clips snapping as it came away in Shepard's hands. The girl, and she was no more than a girl, was hanging slackly, but Shepard knew she was faking. She grabbed the chair and manoeuvred it into the centre of the small room, watching carefully, mindful to keep out of the way of her head in case she attempted a head butt.
Shepard looked at her bonds and frowned. The cord of rope they had hastily used to tie the phantom up was frayed; she'd been trying to cut through the bindings using the broken, sharp piece of armour Shepard had kicked away moments before.
Shepard left her hanging, inertly in the middle of the small office, where she could see her, then went over to another small chair in the room and fell heavily onto it. It was dirty and rickety, and it protested under her weight, but she was too exhausted to care. She stretched her legs out and looked up at the leaking ceiling, closing her eyes briefly; she listened to the steady plink of drops coming through. She started to fall asleep almost immediately, but it was as though the consciousness of defeat would not let her escape, and she found herself even there, filling her nearly sleeping mind with images of the Salarian Councillor in his last moments, of inundation and defeat, and it harried her out of her rest, and back into the continuing pain and dejection of wakefulness. She rubbed her eyes, but the scummy water on her fingers ground grains of dirt and oil into them. She cleaned one finger off as best she could and rubbed some spit into her eyes, because she thought if she allowed herself to cry, even to just remove the dirt and grime, she might not be able to stop.
She looked at the girl. She was pretending to come round; Shepard could see the dull blue glow peeking from beneath her unnaturally grey eyelids. Shepard wished she had the strength and the inclination to go over and hit her, but she was too tired, and too conscious that she would be taking out on her, her annoyance at the situation on the Citadel. Belting one individual, let alone one helpless, injured girl, would be so pathetically petty a way of trying to find recompense for her annoyance, that she would probably never forgive herself for it.
The phantom moaned dramatically. A thin strand of bloodied snot detached itself from her nose and fell onto the chest plate of her armour.
Shepard heard her sniff, loudly. When she looked back, her eyes were open, and she was staring malevolently at her with that inhuman blue glare. Shepard squinted at the girl.
"Garrus, is she cross-eyed?"
"What?" Garrus stuttered, his voice puzzled.
"Is she cross-eyed?"
There was silence as Garrus shifted, his armour creaking in the hollow space "A little" he paused "I guess"
The girl was only slightly cross eyed but the imperfection annoyed her more than it should have. Shepard stared at her. Given a bath and a decent set of clothes, she thought, the girl would be normal, someone's daughter or girlfriend. But right now she was buried inside a blue-grey dirty infusion of reaper tech and grime. She had long filthy hair that obscured part of her face, and Shepard could see the long veins of blue luminescence than ran along her scalp. She felt sick. The girl moved oddly in the chair, as though scratching her back against it. Shepard couldn't decide if she was testing the rope that bound her or was just troubled by something, uncomfortable maybe.
Shepard doubted the girl had volunteered to have this done to her. She had probably been a colonist abducted by some Cerberus force somewhere and adapted to suit their ends. Then she thought about the battle she had just fought and realised there had only been one Phantom that she'd seen, and that Phantom had tried to kill her and succeeded in killing the Councillor.
"You killed the Councillor, did you come here to kill me as well?" Shepard asked, thinking about the fight, running that moment through her mind.
"Yes" The voice was deeper than it should have been and had an odd timbre, like a thousand voices layered into one.
"It was a brave attempt" Shepard nodded "but laughable" The girl twitched.
She remembered the moment the Councillor had fallen, the sickening moment when the girl had de-cloaked. It couldn't be the same solider, Shepard had thrown her out of a window, she couldn't have survived.
"Enjoy you're fall?" Shepard smirked as the girl twitched.
"you won't win" the girl said spitting "You can't win, against us, we will never lose" she shook the chair angrily.
"What?" Shepard asked, as though she hadn't been listening.
"We will win" she said, giving the chair another furious shake that rattled its legs on the floor.
"Which fool tied her to a chair of all things" Shepard looked up at the ceiling "You could be right" She told her tiredly "Things aren't looking good for us right now. Make you feel better?"
"You're going to die" The woman said, blue eyes never wavering.
"Nothings more certain than that" Shepard agreed, gazing up at the leaking ceiling again.
"We are invincible. We will never give up"
"Well you've proved fairly vincible before" she sighed.
"Our spirit never dies; we are the spirit of humanity, we-"
"Aw shut up!" Shepard said, swinging her legs off the chair and standing to face the woman "I've heard all that shit before, from so many people" Shepard ran her hand through her damp hair "You are not Cerberus, you're just a damn fool. Of course Cerberus didn't lose this fight, you lost this fight. The good thing is, I put enough people like you down and guess what? Cerberus does loose."
"We will crush you"
"Hey I'm crushed, I'm crushed" Shepard waved one hand languidly.
The woman howled and shook the chair.
Shepard stood upright and held her head in her hands. Had she tried to do too much? She'd had ten hours sleep in the last week; had that clouded her mind so she hadn't seen Udina's treachery? Or had she slept too much; might that little bit of extra wakefulness have made all the difference? Given her time to spot something she'd missed?
"I hope you die!" the girl shrieked.
Shepard looked at her, frowning, wondering why she had interrupted her thoughts, and wishing she would shut up. Maybe she should gag her.
"Your forces retreated" Shepard smirked at her "And I'm the one who is going to die?"
"You bitch" she screamed.
Shepard looked at her, suddenly thinking she was just as much of a prisoner of this war as the young Cerberus tool. Shepard heard the girl snort back and spit.
"You're losing!" The girl carried on "Your losing aren't you?" she was hysterical, not making any sense as she sat rocking to and fro in the chair.
"That's a penetrating insight" Shepard drew her pistol. The girl was a lost cause, infected with Reaper technology and spouting nonsense. She couldn't tell Shepard anything about Cerberus, she was just a tool, a soldier manufactured in a lab. Shepard shuddered at the similarity to herself "You remind me of some of the people on earth who ignored this war. Cross eyed, stupid and static" She raised the pistol to the girls head, pushed it against her temple until the skin turned white; convinced she would be doing her a mercy by blowing it off. Her hand shook with the effort not to shoot.
"I'm not cross-eyed!" the girl screamed and started to cry, her head forced down by the weight of huge sobs that shook her body, making the chair creak. Shepard lowered her gun and stared. She wanted to go over and cuddle her, or smash her brains out; anything to stop her wailing. Shepard was losing her compassion and it frightened her.
The girl sniffed heavily and when she looked up there was a long trail of bloodied snot running down her face again.
Shepard moved towards her without thinking and pulled a loose scrap of material from the inside of her pocket as she went.
The girl put two and two together, saw Shepard coming towards her with a scrap of fabric and screamed with all her might; she emptied her lungs with the effort of announcing to the Citadel that she was about to be murdered by the great commander Shepard. She was rocking in her chair and Shepard had to jump on it and land with one foot on one of the cross-members between the legs to stop it from tipping over.
Shepard put the cloth over the young girls face.
She stopped struggling. She went limp, not fighting or squirming but knowing it was utterly pointless to go on doing anything.
Garrus was looking at her oddly but Shepard just shrugged "Blow"
The girl blew. Shepard withdrew the rag, folded it over, put it back against her face and told her to blow again. She did. Shepard folded it over again and wiped the girl's nose hard. She squealed; it was sore, probably broken. Shepard sighed again and threw the rag on the floor then turned away and moved towards the half open door.
"What are you going to do with me?" The girl's voice was quivering and Shepard turned round to look at her.
"I don't know, what do you think?"
"If you're going to kill me, please will you do it quickly?"
"Probably not" Shepard smirked and the girl sobbed, blue lights flickering behind liquid fear "You know who I am, do you know what I'm trying to do?"
The girl looked up "What?" she asked.
"It doesn't matter" Shepard shook her head "Bailey!" she shouted through the open door and waited for the man to appear.
"Shepard" he muttered, peaking in to see if the girl was alive or dead.
"Do something with her" Shepard waved in the girls direction "She's just a grunt, but there is definitely still some humanity in there somewhere" she looked at the girls wide, moist eyes and realised that she had expected to be shot. That hurt Shepard more than any physical wound could have "There is an alliance ship the SSV Esperar. There is a doctor on there, Dr Willis, he specializes in cybernetics, did some work with me not so long ago. He might be able to help her" Shepard moved past Bailiey and out into the corridor. She took a deep breath and walked back through to the main office, past the milling C-Sec officers and out onto the main promenade. The air was cooler out by the balcony, cleaner and less oppressive. Shepard made her way over to the balcony and rested her forearms on it, looking out across the view of the Citadel and its pockets of smouldering ruin.
"Did you find anything out from the girl?" Shepard watched as Liara moved next to her, mimicking her position.
"Nothing" Shepard shook her head "She wouldn't know anything anyway, just a grunt" She spared a glance at Liara. The Asari was looking out at the view, her gaze troubled, face dirty. Shepard thought she looked tired "She was so young" Shepard looked down at her hands "I was almost old enough to be her mother Liara"
Liara sighed "where is she now?"
Shepard detected the odd note to her voice and turned to look at her. Liara wouldn't meet her gaze "Just ask me Liara" Shepard said angrily "Just ask me"
"No" Liara shook her head "I don't need to ask you"
"Really?" Shepard spat the question.
"I know you didn't kill her" Liara looked at her now "I just worry about the day when you tell me you have. I know what this war costs you Shepard, with so much darkness it's hard to stay in the light"
"She is an enemy soldier that tried to kill me. She murdered the Salarian Councillor!" Shepard turned around and leant with her back against the balcony, her elbows resting on the rail "She is infested with Reaper technology and a danger to herself and those around her. I'm weak by letting her live" Shepard shook her head.
"You do not believe that Shepard"
"You know what I do not believe Liara?" Shepard looked across at her, her chin resting lazily on her shoulder, hair falling across one of her eyes "I do not believe, never could have really, that I would ever feel like this. That I would ache so bad to be a nobody, to never strain the fabric of life, to be minor, unimportant" she paused "un-influential if you will" she let her head loll forward onto her chest "I am so tired Liara"
"I know Shepard" Liara smiled a little sadly "But we both know you don't mean that"
"I do" Shepard replied "I think I really do" Shepard watched as a human C-Sec officer made his way towards her. He stopped a few feet short of where Shepard was stood and held out a data pad.
"Ma'am" he looked at her oddly "These reports are from Captain Bailiey, he said you might want to see them"
Shepard sighed and took the data pad from him "Reports" she glanced across at Liara who was smiling slightly "Yay" she took the salute from the C-Sec officer and continued to look through the reports.
Maybe, Shepard thought to herself, I should take this opportunity to get away from my responsibilities; I should just sit here and be a soldier on the ground for a few more moments. She laughed at the idea. She would never be able to escape the minute to minute changes in conditions that bogged her down. The continual flood of reports she always seemed to have about units and squads immobilised, destroyed, cut off or retreating from vital positions, yelling for help, for relief, for reinforcements, more food, more medicine, more help, past a certain point where there was nothing she could do apart from acknowledge, reply, turn down, order to make a stand; nothing, nothing. She was getting distracted as she thought about the mosaic of the war, a two colour mosaic of a million pieces, the picture of a multiracial army, bit-by-bit disintegrating, softened like a piece of paper in the rain, made soggy and finally coming apart.
"Let me deal with that" Liara broke her reverie, lifted the data pad away from her and pointed in the direction of where Garrus was stood, animated in debate with another Turian "And let Garrus deal with the Normandy"
"Alright" Shepard spoke softly, ignoring the surprise etched onto the face of the Asari "When we get back to the Normandy I'm going to sleep" Shepard nodded to no one in particular "For at least twelve hours" now she looked at Liara, and gave her a lopsided smile "And so are you" She waved her hand to stall the coming protest "I know I don't get enough sleep, but I'm not stupid and I know you keep pace with me"
"If you're fighting Shepard, then so am I" Liara looked at her and suddenly Shepard felt incredibly guilty. It felt like it had been a long time since she had really, honestly looked at her, and it was the first time she'd noticed the circles beneath her eyes and the strain etched into the lines of her face.
"Well I won't be fighting" Shepard started to walk away "I'll be sleeping, and you'll be with me"
"Will I?" Liara fell into step next to her "That sounds like an order" her hand found Shepard's and their fingers linked together lightly as they walked.
"It is" Shepard nodded "It most definitely is"
