Chapter 3 - Reupdated

One Shot 1: No S*** Sherlock

Sima Zhao continued his break/ date with his girlfriend, Wang Yuanji but it got interrupted (again) when a security guard (Pang De) informed him of an unconscious body they found. It was Lu Lingqi. She was found KO'ed inside a garbage bin.

"I can't actually tell what even happened." Zhao said.

"We all don't know. We just found her KO'ed." Pang De replied.

Sima Zhao continued to search the area only to find something in the other garbage bin.

"Check out what I found."

"Ewww! Those are panties!" Wang Yuanji shrieked.

"Not just any panties, the victim's" Sima Zhao concluded. Wang Yuanji began to think what happened.

"Sir!" It was Jia Chong.

"We have two suspects: Yuan Shao and Cao Cao." he said.

"Wait!" It was Wang Yuanji.

"It wasn't any of those two. There is only one man that I know that would do this. It's him!" she pointed her finger at one of the nearby shop owners. It was Dong Zhuo.

"Dong Zhuo? This is madness! We can easily find out what he's planning!" Pang De complained. Wang Yuanji explained her reason.

"That would be true but if I remember right, this establishment is completely independent. Lu Lingqi was probably trying to buy jewelry but, considering Dong Zhuo's taste for women, he began to hit on her. Lu Lingqi would say no and Dong Zhuo would lure her to that room and assault her. From the would that I just saw, he probably whacked her in the head with one of the jewelry. He would attempt to rape her but someone probably came in so Dong Zhuo had to hide the body in the garbage bin using the Instant Disposal System made by Zhuge Liang. He ended up doing the same to her panties only to another bin so, I conclude that he is guilty of assault and attempted rape."

Everyone was astonished. Dong Zhuo tried to slip away in order to escape them but, Sima Zhao caught him and cuffed him up. Wang Yuanji turned to her boyfriend.

"Maybe I should join the force eh?"

"Hehe. No s*** Sherlock."


One Shot 2: Dare Game 2: Fake Robbery

The Five Tiger Generals played another dare game but this time, Zhang Fei got the worst dare:

I dare you to use a realistic but toy gun to try and rob a store (Zhu Rong)

"I don't want to do it!" he shouted.

"I'll do it for the win." Ma Chao said.

"HE'S GOING FOR THE WIN!" the others shouted simultaneously.

They get a mask for him to use and an old toy gun which Zhang Bao just sprayed black. Before doing it, Ma Chao said,

"Disclaimer everyone, do not try it at all!"

They go to an outlet run by Wang Yi, Ma Chao puts on the robber mask and while the others are at a really safe distance, Ma Chao jumped in with the toy gun on Wang Yi's forehead.

"GIVE ME YOUR MON..."

Before he could finish however, Wang Yi hits him with an uppercut which sends him flying to the ceiling and his head gets stuck, leaving the rest of his body dangling

"Ugh. That's the seventy-sixth time already! Gotta call Guo Jia."

"Well that was a win." Ma Chao said to himself.

"SHADDAP YOU!" Wang Yi shouted


One Shot 3: How to get rid of Pitch Perfect

Guo Jia groaned that the female officers were still singing and not even caring how much he was already annoyed with them. With that, he devised a plan. It involved breaking hearts and a lame polo shirt.

"Hey! Open up! We're gonna sing a Taylor Swift song next!" Sun Shang Xiang shouted as the other girls cheer. "Where's Wang Yuanji?"

"She wasn't here remember?"

Guo Jia came out of the room with the worst outfit a gorgeous man would wear and began to sing "Nice Guys" minus the last verse. With that, the girls got so annoyed that they left.

"YEAH!"

The next day...

Guo Jia had more visitors. It was Cao Pi, Sun Ce, Zhou Yu, Guan Xing and Zhang Bao. They were wearing brown wigs and began to sing:

"Remember that when you are feeling sad and down..."

Guo Jia screamed and ran into his room. He came out later with a baton that caused puking. He used it on them.

"Haha! Screw you guys!"


One Shot 4: The God of Bondage?

Zhou Yu was on his laptop as usual only to find the strangest mail ever:

Teach me O God of Bondage
-Cao Cao

Teach me O God of Bondage
-Sima Shi

Teach me O God of Bondage
-Guan Ping

Teach me O God of Bondage
-Zhang He?

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"What's the matter?" Xiao Qiao came in.

"Some guys are calling me the God of Bondage!"

Xiao Qiao was confused. She shrugged and left the room. When he was all alone, he flipped a hidden switch which led to a studio for a bondage show.

"I really gotta stop doing this and make a reality show."

With that, he burned down the entire set. The next day, he got more mail:

Teach me O God of Bologna
-Cao Pi

Teach me O God of Bologna
-Sima Yi

Teach me O God of Bologna
-Zhuge Liang

Teach me O God of Bologna
-Ma Chao

Zhou Yu groaned, closed the laptop and made himself forget about his mail by pouring ice down his undies. He screams and crashes on the sofa.

"Ugh"