Disclaimer - Yup, it's disclaimer time, where I tell you how I don't own the characters.

Bella to Edward

I stared down at the letter in my hands. The writing was obviously Edward's. Same elegant smooth script, his letters flowing across the stark white envelope, to form my name. Bella. Why would he give me a letter and leave? I began to panic. Was it a goodbye letter? Was Alice an excuse for him to leave?

"Stop!" I commanded myself.

The only way I would know what the letter held was to open it and examine it's contents. No use worrying over nothing. I just hope it's nothing.

I sat down, and carefully opened the envelope. I sat on my bed, riveted by his words. I understood. Perhaps not fully, but partially, why he didn't want to change me. Why he doesn't feel he should. Although the 'angel' parts were slightly hard to believe.

I sat silently, as tears ran over my face and marked the elegant script before me. The sentences' meaning more beautiful than the delicate scrawl of the letters, mixed into words. I decided to write him a letter in return. I smiled and sat before my desk and began to write.

Dear Edward,

Your letter means a lot to me. How could it not? You wrote it. I treasure anything to do with you. My heart leaps and my stomach flips every time I see you. A feeling I have recently found that indicates love. You are my first love and my only love. I know in my heart you love me, and I love you so strongly in return. I can't help but worry that you no longer want me.

It seems rational to me that you would choose to love somebody more like yourself. Graceful, beautiful, fast, more mature and twice as intelligent as I. I honestly don't know what you see in me. It made sense that you wouldn't love me anymore, because, as I once told you, I don't doubt your love for me, I doubt my ability to hold you, your attention, to attract you. You always tell me I deserve someone more than you, someone who can offer me an ordinary life. Ordinary is overrated. I want you, and as long as I'm sure you want me, we are going to be together forever. No matter what you say. Though I sometimes feel that you deserve someone more than me, that you deserve better than me. I'm still awestruck that, although you could have any woman in the world, (excluding Esme, Alice and Rosalie) you picked me. Me. Isabella Swan. Some days I panic when I wake up, because I'm scared it was all a dream. And then I see you. My Adonis. All is right with the world again, and I feel like the luckiest girl in it.

Marriage. I love you and with your reassurance I'm starting to lose some of my pre-wedding angst. I owe you an explanation for my reluctance to marry. My parents are divorced. I see Charlie now, and I feel an overwhelming urge of sympathy for him. If he loved Renee one tenth as much as I love you. Their separation must have been unbearable for him. I may look more like my mother, but in actuality, I take after my father the most. Where do you think I get my clumsy streak? Hint: not from my mother. If we were Charlie and Renee, I would be Charlie and you Renee. I would be as unhappy as he is now, with nothing to do about it. Just because we are married, doesn't mean you still can't leave me. I guess that's where all my fears lie: you leaving me. I don't want to hold you back, but I can't live without you. Not just half of me is missing, but all of it. You took my heart with you when you left. You have always had my heart. It's no longer in my possession. With your love and reassurance, I'm starting to warm up to the marriage idea, plus Alice's enthusiasm is contagious.

My change. Perhaps the most sensitive subject between us - after our separation, that is. I want to be a vampire so that I can be with you for all eternity. I long for it. We love each other so much. Why let that love die out? I want to see you everyday for eternity and infinity. You may not care abut my age, but I do. I have already told you how you could have anyone on this earth as your 'girlfriend' (the term seems a mockery of what we have), yet you have me. As I age, my insecurities will overwhelm me; I will be grumpy, jealous and then you will not love me anymore, because my fear of you not loving me anymore has ruined our relationship. Why let me age and ruin our love when we don't have to?

I'm always in danger, it's not your fault, but this is my life now. I want to defend myself.I feel so weak in comparison to you, and I'm not. I am strong. Maybe not physically, but strong-minded, strong-willed, just mentally strong. I want to defend myself. I want to make you proud of me, I guess. Like you could take me to some vampire prom and show me off and ….be proud of me, be proud to have me. I know you are proud of me, but some part of me doesn't feel good enough for you.

You have a soul Edward. How can someone capable of love as great as yours not have a soul? How can someone as good and kind as you not have a soul? You never hesitate to tell me that you are a murderer. But, Edward, you killed bad, horrific people - true monsters. It may not have been your place to do so, but if those murderers were caught, what would happen to them? The death penalty, perhaps? Even at your worst you were still considerate. Considerate of those people that the real monsters preyed upon. Anyway, it is a moot point as I would love you, soul or no soul.

I may not have a normal life or ever have children, but I would rather have you than non-existent children. I wouldn't love or even marry anyone else, I would just sit in my rocking chair, clinging desperately on to memories of your face and reminiscing about my days with you and your - our - family. I would be hollow without you. What good is a hollow person, Edward? You have seen me without you for yourself, please, do not do that to me again, I doubt I could survive further heartbreak. It's true, sometimes I do have my doubts about my upcoming change. Then, I look into your eyes and see our rich future together, and anything - anything - is worth that.

I love you too. You are my Adonis, my reason for living, my soul mate, my fiancé and most importantly : my love.

Your eternal love,

Bella

X

I folded the paper carefully and slipped it inside the envelope, that was already marked Edward. I clutched the envelope to my chest and on a whim, started scouring through my 'junk' drawers.

"Where did it go? Damn it!….Oh, there it is." I had found what I was looking for: a bright red lipstick Alice bought me. So violently red, it bordered on obnoxious. Alice gave it to me to 'practise' with. She was currently trying to teach me how to properly apply make-up. Alice said because it was such a bright colour, it would make me more careful as I put it on - which I never did, nor ever had any intention to, except now.

I smeared the stuff over my lips and rubbed them together, just as Alice taught me. I remember her saying ;

"Now this is what they should teach in schools. It would make the whole thing much more bearable."

You gotta love Alice. Anyway, once I was sure it was on - it was kinda hard to miss - I puckered my lips and brought them to the envelope. Incidentally, I also heard a velvet voice - from near the window - saying,

"Bella? Why are you kissing an envelope?" In the cutest confused tone. Then I realised that my fiancé had caught me kissing an envelope.

I whirled around to the direction of the window to try and deny the horrifying scene playing out in front of me. Well, I tried, I at least get credit for that, right?

Instead of whirling gracefully (it happens in my dreams!), I did a strange dance-type-thing and fell straight on my behind, making my cheeks go from a deep pink, to strawberry red. Nice.

"I uh….uh….uh" Fabulous! Instead of acting cool, calm and collected in front of my drop-dead-gorgeous fiancé , I fall, on my rump and then find I can't even form a coherent sentence to defend my perverted, envelope-molesting actions. It could only happen to me. Only me.

Though, because I have the most perfect soul mate in the world, Edward just chuckled, then thoughtfully tried to hide it. He came and picked me up bridal-style, placing me on the bed.

I, however, was still trying to form a sentence devoid of the words 'uh' and 'um'. As I sat trying to think of an excuse - that didn't sound completely lame - Edward noticed the letter I was still clutching and pried it out of my hands, to read his name and break the seal.

He read it at what seemed the speed of light and embraced me. My face was dying down to a pinky-red tinge, as he whispered in my ear,

"I love you to Bella, no matter what. And I promise you, I will never leave you again."

After that we sat silently on my bed, embraced as one, without saying a word. We didn't need words anymore, we both knew how we felt. And so, we sat there for hours, just hugging each other tightly, each silently saying ' I will never leave you' and 'I love you'. Though I use the word ' love' for lack of a better term, because 'love' pales in comparison to what Edward and I have.

A/N - Did you like it? Tell me which you like the best so far and why. Review (or PM) and tell me. Thank you for reading (and reviewing). Also, thank you to Tomo-Chan and Marie. More soon.