"You think so?" Shepard spoke into the comm. system as her eyes scanned her desk. In her fingers, the glass lay like something trapped, sweating light. The liquid it contained was the same colour as her eyes and swilled around lethargically in the dim lighting of her cabin, the glinting surface throwing highlights onto her face like veins of liquid jade.
She drained the glass, and then studied it as the alcohol made its way down her throat. She turned the glass over in her hand, moving it carefully and smoothly, seemingly fascinated by the silky slickness of the un-etched parts. She held it up to the dull blue light of the aquarium, her eyes narrowing.
"Are you drinking Shepard?" Garrus asked, his voice sounding amused.
"I might be" Shepard paused "Why do you ask?"
"You get all pensive when you drink" She could hear the rasp of his breath, the dull chatter of his mandibles as his jaw moved "Do you have anything of urgency for me?"
"No. Just watch the ship, call me if anything happens that I need to know of. If you don't think it's important, then I won't" The glass between her fingers sparkled like a hundred tiny rainbows, and minute twists of bubbles in the slender stem glowed golden against the blue light, spiralling about each other in a fluted double helix.
"Don't worry Shepard I've got it, get some rest" the sound of talons rasping against metal echoed behind his voice.
"I will" She lowered the glass and stared at the medal on the desk in front of her, suddenly she jerked her arm, knocking the medal across the desk and sending it clattering into her console.
"Shit Shepard" Garrus said, his voice an octave higher than it was "I just crapped myself, what was that?" there was a scraping, tickling sound then silence "Are you trying to scare me?"
"No" Shepard smirked at his use of language "Sorry, just being" she paused "Pensive"
"And destructive"
"Maybe" Shepard rolled her head from side the side, wincing as her neck cracked and popped "What time is it anyway?"
"What? You're mumbling Shepard"
"Time, what time is it? And I wasn't mumbling"
"It's night time"
"Ha" Shepard smiled "I'm glad you're on board Garrus"
"You're drunk aren't you?"
"No!" Shepard could hear his mirth being held back "Besides, you almost managed to make that sound like a criticism"
"Never" The Turian laughed.
"Good night Garrus"
"Good night Commander" the comm. clicked off.
Shepard stood up and put the glass to one side, turning it upside down and running her fingers over the smooth cold underside. When she turned around, Liara was watching her from the doorway to the washroom.
"Was that Garrus?" The Asari's voice was husky and low and Shepard's breath flew from her chest, her stomach dropping like an elevator cut free. Liara, still wet from the shower, wore nothing but a plain white robe that came to mid-thigh, belted at the waist. She was barefoot, and faint drops of moisture had soaked through the material just beneath the swell of her breasts. Shepard could imagine the moisture anointing the smooth skin underneath and her own burst to life, tingling with a fine sheen of perspiration. Throat suddenly dry, she gestured towards the comm.
"I was just signing off" Shepard said, shrugging slightly.
"Good timing" Liara leaned her shoulder against the door frame, enjoying the stunned expression on Shepard's face. The Commander had washed and changed into a pair a black fatigues and a tight black t-shirt. She looked lean and beautiful and coiled tight as a spring. Liara had an irresistible urge to make her snap, she pushed away from the door "Did Helen look at your arm?"
"Yes" Shepard was rooted to the spot "a few torn muscles, nothing she couldn't fix" she had just enough time to finish her sentence before Liara fisted her hands in the Commanders shirt front and spun her against the wall.
"I am very glad" Liara pressed against the length of Shepard's body and with her lips brushing Shepard's, murmured "I've been wanting to do this since Mars Shepard"
Then Liara took Shepard's mouth with a fury that surprised them both. Shepard closed her eyes and let the Asari claim her, opening herself body and soul.
Liara drove a hand between them and forced it beneath Shepard's shirt, raking her fingertips over taught muscle before pushing them beneath the waistband of Shepard's trousers. Shepard swallowed a moan and lifted her hips, arching into the warm hand and giving Liara whatever she demanded.
Liara tore her lips away and Shepard gasped, reeling and unsteady "Down the steps" Liara panted, her vision dimmed by hunger that was rapidly consuming her rational mind.
"I need you to touch me..."
"I know" Liara stroked Shepard's face, running a fingertip over slightly parted lips, bruised by their passion "I know" with her eyes never leaving Shepard's, Liara reached back and took a firm hold of her hand, leading her down the few steps to the bedroom below.
Liara turned and reached out for the button on Shepard's fatigues "Are you alright with this?" she looked up into green eyes so hazy with desire they were almost grey.
"Idiot" came Shepard's soft reply, and when Liara pulled her shirt up and fingers brushed against the bare skin of her stomach, she shuddered, groaning deep in her chest "of course I am"
Liara smiled, watching the muscles twitch in Shepard's exposed abdomen as she continued to tease her with steady strokes of her nails on slick skin, edging lower each time until she heard Shepard stop breathing.
"Open your robe" Shepard whispered.
Wordlessly, Liara reached for the tie at her waist and slowly slid the sliver of fabric through her fingers, but did not release the knot "You do it"
Gaze locked on Liara's, Shepard reached for the belt and flicked the knot open with a deft turn of her wrist. Never breaking eye contact, she delicately slid a finger up under each edge of the partially opened robe, starting at Liara's waist and travelling slowly upward, just skimming the flesh beneath. Liara moaned at the feathery caresses, her control slipping away as her eyes turned to obsidian and her mind fought for the bond. When Shepard reached her breasts and slid her hands completely beneath the material and over the soft swells of flesh, her composure slipped. She reached out, abruptly putting one hand on Shepard's shoulder and pulling her forward until their foreheads were resting against each other. Liara didn't need to say anything as her mind reached out to Shepard's, tangling her in the thick, hazy, all encompassing fog that was them, united.
Shepard had learnt quickly that when you sleep beside an Asari with a head full of images, there is an osmosis, a certain sharing in the night. Or so she thought. She thought a lot at times like these, more than she ever had. Or maybe she was just more aware of the process, and the identity of thought and passing time. Sometimes she felt as though every instant she spent with Liara was a precious capsule of sensation to be lovingly wrapped and carefully placed somewhere inviolable, away from the destructions and horror rampaging through the galaxy.
She lay, looking at her sleeping face in the dull orange light that bounced off the walls, and she stared at her skin, transfixed by the quick stillness of her, struck dumb with the physical fact of her existence, as though she was a mystical star thing that slept on unaware of its incandescent power. The casualness and ease with which she slept there amazed Shepard; she couldn't believe that such beauty could survive without some superhumanly intense conscious effort. I'm getting soft in my old age.
In the rare times like this, she would lie and look at her and listen to the sounds that the ship made. The low hum of the engine, the occasional tick of the air recycling unit and the ever present sound of water and aqueous life. She liked it, somehow it seemed fit, but had she been younger, she'd have hated it, seen the Normandy as a cage. Here and now though, she could appreciate it, see it for the symbol that so many others did. A symbol of hope, of survival and of resistance in the dark.
Shepard smiled as Liara stirred and nestled closer to her in sleep. That unconscious affection and the image of vulnerability she presented both intrigued and troubled Shepard. She was Shepard's greatest strength and her greatest weakness.
Shepard ran her hand along the length of the Asari's side, marvelling at the smooth warmth beneath her fingertips. Their physical relationship seemed to her at once more whole and complete, and more defyingly complex than anything similar she had ever known. The paradox of love physically incarnate and the most personal invasion of the mind being the same thing though, tied her in knots, sometimes sickened her, as in the mist of her joy, she instinctually fought against the joining, and worse, innocently implanted her horrors in her Asari lovers mind. She tried hard not to let it bother her; at any time she could look at Liara and wrap her adoration for her around herself like a coat on a cold day, and see her life and body, moods and expressions, speech and movements as a whole enthralling field of study that she could submerge herself in like a scholar finding her life's work.
"Nothing lasts forever though" Shepard mumbled, her fingertips tracing idle patterns across blue skin.
"That's not true" A sleepy voice replied.
"How long have you been awake?" Shepard propped herself up on one elbow and wrapped her arm around Liara's waist, pulling her tight against her.
"Long enough to hear you mumbling to yourself" Liara covered Shepard's hand with her own and sank into the embrace, sighing with contentment "There are very few exceptions to nothing lasts forever, but there are exceptions, and amongst those no thought of humanity is numbered" Liara sounded far away, her voice low and heavy, as she fought sleep.
"How can you be this articulate when you've just woken up?" Shepard teased as she placed a chaste kiss on the Asari's cheek.
"Oh I've been awake a while. I find it difficult to sleep when your teasing me Shepard"
"Teasing you?" Shepard frowned, then thought about her idle ministrations on the Asari's skin and smiled "Sorry"
"Don't be" Liara shifted, turning around so she was lay on her back. She looked up at Shepard, lifted her hand and pushed a few errant strands of rich auburn hair out of her face "You look thoughtful Shepard"
"I suppose I am" she looked down at Liara and tried to tabulate all the things about her that she had come to love. In the end though, she wasn't sure all of that mattered. Shepard seemed to have found a calm, clear serenity in herself she hadn't even known was there, thanks to Liara, and that was what mattered now. The fact of her talent, her genius, played a role too. It added to the extent of Shepard's disbelief that the Asari could ever be content with her.
Liara had told her that she would write Shepard's name in the stars, but she didn't want that, not really. She thought what Liara had really wanted at the time, was for Shepard to tell her the story of her life, of who she really was, but she had already told Liara she couldn't do that, there was too much she wasn't proud of, too much pain. But she realised now, that she didn't need to confess to Liara; there was no need. Th asari had already unburdened Shepard, even if she didn't quite know how. She had mended her, reached back to something so buried she'd thought it inaccessible forever, and drawn its sting. Perhaps it was this that stunned Shepard the most, the effect that one person could have on her. She had no idea of the extent of her influence. She had made Shepard the solider she was today and because of that, she was the real hero of this conflict, and no one even knew.
"What are you thinking?" Liara was playing with a cord of Shepard's hair, wrapping it around her fingers and tugging it every now and then. It was something she loved to do, and something that highlighted so simply, just how different they were.
"Just thinking about you" Shepard sucked in a breath as Liara's fingers traced a delicate scar on her shoulder, the skin still sensitive.
"So many scars Shepard"
"Hazard of the job" Shepards eyes twinkled "I could have them all healed, but they're good" she paused "For remembering"
"Did Cerberus not remove them?" Liara frowned "I'm sure they did"
"Yes" Shepard nodded "I had them put back" she lay her palm on Liara's stomach and splayed her fingers, smiling at the contrast. She lay there for a moment, in silence, watching as Liara closed her eyes and smiled contentedly. Shepard looked at that smile. She had seen a few smiles in her life that she might have killed for, but never one she'd have died for. She smiled back, leant forward and kissed Liara's head. A slit of crystal blue appeared.
"Why do you always wake before me Shepard?" Liara drawled lazily.
"I don't know" Shepard sighed "I like watching you sleep"
"Why?" Liara asked.
"When you're awake, I don't have any time, you move and I miss things"
"What things?" She was puzzled.
Shepard nuzzled into Liara's shoulder. She kissed her neck and answered before she forgot the question completely "Everything you do. When you're asleep you hardly move, and I can take it all in, I have time" she sighed, propping her head up again "There's enough time"
"You..." Liara started then looked down. Her smile was achingly sad when she looked back up "You shouldn't worry about the future so much Shepard"
"I suppose"
"You think too much about what will be"
"Maybe we cancel out each other's obsessions, then"
Liara laughed "I suppose I walked into that one"
"I think sometimes, that I shouldn't have done this" Shepard rubbed her face with her free hand "That I should have pushed you away" a sigh.
"Why?" Liara gazed at her.
"Lots of reasons. All the past and all the future. Because of who you are and who I am. Because of all the things I can't give you. Just everything"
"Details" Liara waved her hand dismissively and Shepard gave a small laugh.
"I just worry" Shepard smiled at the look of disbelief on Liara's face "Yes, I do worry, occasionally"
"Then don't"
"Maybe it really is that simple" Shepard sighed "Perhaps I like to dwell on what could happen so that I'm never surprised. Does that worry you Liara?"
"Does what worry me?"
"That I... That I can't believe enough in myself, not to have doubts about what will happen in this war"
"No" Liara murmured into her neck "I don't worry about that"
Shepard hummed with contentment and wrapped her arms around the Asari.
"Shepard" Liara mumbled after a moment "You know we have to get up"
"Oh, yes" Shepard released her and rolled onto her back, sitting up and stretching her arms out, yawning and forcing her eyes wide. She looked across at Liara "I don't want to though"
"No, neither do I" Liara smiled, quickly leant over and kissed Shepard, then sprang out of bed and walked through the cabin "I'm using your shower Shepard" a pause "again" she disappeared up the few steps to the top of the cabin and hit the button to the washroom. A few moments later Shepard heard the sound of running water.
With a sigh Shepard fell back onto the bed and closed her eyes, wondering if she could steal just a few more moments' peace before the Reapers, and the war entered her day.
