Some dribble really, because I've written a lot of action lately! Thanks everyone who's gotten in touch to encourage me, again, I cannot stress how much it means to me that you make the effort to feedback, be it good or bad.
"So this is what we have" Garrus leant over the central console in the war room and pointed at three red spots on the galaxy map " Garvug, this should be our next drop"
"Why?" Tali asked from opposite him.
"We have intel" He nodded his head towards Liara "That there is a cache of Prothean data drives here, and Reaper presence in the area suggests they hold important information" He shrugged "Right now, unravelling the Prothean legacy is our best bet when it comes to finding the catalyst" Garrus fell silent, opening the floor to the rest of the crew.
It was rare to have this many crew members present for a brief, more so to have the Commander missing.
Traynor leant over and zoomed into the point as she chewed her lip, face pensive "The complex is underground" she frowned "Looks tricky, do you think the data's worth it?" she looked at Garrus.
All eyes turned to the door as it suddenly slid open "Sorry I'm late" Shepard said as she made her way down the stairs "Carry on" she took her place between Garrus and Liara, careful to avoid the Asari's eyes.
"I agree with Garrus" Liara said, staring at Shepard, her initial disbelief at seeing her having given way to something between incredulity and outrage. The Commander was wearing the same set of rumpled fatigues Liara had bought to her in the med bay some hours ago, and it was obvious that she had come directly from the Doctors care. From the nearly translucent pallor of her skin and the hollow shadows beneath her eyes, it looked like that was precisely where she still should be.
Garrus watched the two of them curiously, aware that the temperature in the room had plummeted below freezing, but he wasn't entirely sure of the cause. Despite not making eye contact once, the air between them vibrated.
"Shepard?" Garrus waited for her to look at him "Prothean data drives" He pointed to the map "Figured we need to go to the source to progress"
"Reaper presence?" Shepard asked sharply. She needed a lead to chase, something to focus on, anything to take her mind off the dull pain in her chest every time she breathed.
"Confirmed, heavy" Garrus replied "Whatever it is, they want it, or they want to stop us getting it"
"Any solid info on what those drives contain?" Shepard asked, hoping she didn't sound as desperate as she felt.
"No nothing" Garrus shook his head and glanced at Liara "If you could do some digging, see what the rumour mill is saying about them?"
"And then?" Liara asked with genuine interest, listening to the sound of Shepard breathing next to her. Steady, un-laboured, stable breaths, unlike the blood choking gasps she'd been making when she finally came back onboard from Rannoch.
"We take them?" Vega grinned, a happy, hungry grin.
"Precisely" Garrus said.
"Bout time we took the fight to them" Vega said with evident satisfaction "Took something they want for a change"
"OK, then we go. Liara see what you can get us in the next few hours and we'll lay a course" He turned to Shepard, making sure she was happy for him to call the shot's despite her being present. She nodded at him "Dismissed" He said, watching as the crew gathered their things and ambled out leaving Shepard and Liara staring at each other while Garrus fidgeted in the doorway, looking as if he wasn't certain weather to stay or go. After a moment's hesitation, he ducked his head and left. The room fell silent.
"What the Goddess are you doing here?" Liara asked, voice quiet.
"I knew the brief wasn't going to take long, I wanted to make it"
"And Dr Chakwas let you come?"
Shepard held Liara's gaze "Well..."
"Karin would never release you from care, not in the state you're in. You went against her advice didn't you?" Liara accused furiously. She wanted to touch her. It felt like days since she had, not hours. But she was so angry, the last thing she wanted was contact and her mind was reeling from the barrage of dissident emotions.
"No not exactly" Shepard shrugged "We made a deal" She said it reasonably, trying to sound confident but Liara's unexpected fury was so potent, it was like a physical blow.
"I don't think Doctors make deals" Liara snapped.
"All right" Shepard admitted "But I agreed to go back after this"
Liara slammed both palms down onto the console in front of her, biotics rippling all over her skin "What is the matter with you Shepard? You need to rest, recover; you can't keep doing this to your body. What could be so important about this meeting that you would leave the med bay?"
"It's not the meeting Liara" Shepard said quietly. She had to stay calm. If she explained it clearly Liara would have to understand "It's me. I need to stay focused, I need to be here. I can't miss anything"
"You should be in bed" The Asari ran a hand over her eyes, her biotics fading. She slowly turned from the console and looked at Shepard.
"This is who I am right now, this is who I need to be to get us through this" Shepard shrugged as she ran out of words. She watched as Liara seemed to debate something before finally making her decision and walking away. Shepard sighed and grabbed the Asari's wrist as she stalked past "No" Shepard spun her around "No walking away from me" They were so close she could see the tiny flecks of silver in Liara's eyes.
"No?" Liara glanced at the pale hand holding her wrist. Heat poured off Shepard in waves, and Liara didn't know if it was from anger or the simple force of her personality. Whatever the cause, it ignited something inside her and completely unbidden, she brushed Shepard's cheek with her fingertips "It hurts me to see you..." she paused "So damaged"
Shepard closed her eyes and sucked in a breath "Don't do that"
"What?"
"Touch me like that if you're angry with me" Shepard opened her eyes to see Liara staring at her, lips parted in faint surprise, the expression in her eyes absolutely unmistakable "unless you want me to touch you back"
Liara smiled weakly, let her hand fall away and gently disengaged her arm from Shepard's grasp "I don't think I'm angry at you Shepard" a pause "Just concerned"
"Good, because I really hate it when you're angry" Shepard looked across at the display next to them "We have some time until we get to Garvug, I need to get back to the med bay but maybe we can do something later, something normal?"
"Commander Shepard" Liara took a step towards the human and tucked an errant strand of auburn hair behind her ear "I'm not entirely sure you know how to do anything normal"
Shepard caught Liara's hand and held it against her cheek for just a second, letting the warmth of her soft supple skin warm her "I might surprise you" she shuddered and released Liara's hand.
"Promise me you'll get some rest?" Liara asked.
"I promise"
"Then I will see you later"
Garrus looked down at his bowl, he was ravenous, his body demanding food. Tali was sat opposite him, her chin resting on her closed fist as she looked at him.
"You hit her?" Garrus laughed around a mouthful of food.
"No!" Tali sighed "I said I almost hit her, which is not the same" she pushed a half empty glass towards the Turian as she watched him eat.
"Still" He shook his head and stuffed some more food into his mouth "That's pretty bad ass for you"
"For me?" Tali leant across and poked him hard in the shoulder "You're talking to an Admiral remember?"
Garrus grinned at her, enjoying the scent and warmth that her suit gave off "You think she's alright?" He put his spoon down and stared across the cluttered low ceilinged mess for a second, running over the moment where Shepard had faced the Reaper, seeing in his mind's eye the great machine priming, seeing Shepard roll and duck. He shook his head "Rannoch was insane"
"I know" Tali shrugged, catching the expression in Garrus' face she added "Shepard is Shepard, I know she's in a dark place right now but that's why we're here, right? She will be fine, we all will be"
"I wish I had your optimism Admiral"
"Pfft" Tali snorted "Don't call me that"
Garrus looked up and caught site of Liara and Shepard entering the mess and taking the table furthest away from them. He smiled at that and reached for his drink, sipping it slowly and looking at Tali "Can you believe you're back on the Normandy?"
"Oh yes" Tali nodded and cleared her throat "I sort of always expected to end up here again"
"Couldn't keep away from me eh?" Garrus drank what remained in his glass and grinned at Tali.
"Something like that" Tali shook her head and laughed.
"Are you ready Doctor T'Soni?" Shepard was sat in the dimly lit mess space, arms resting on the table. She was dressed casually in her Alliance fatigues, the jacket, having been discarded, was draped on the back of her chair.
"I'm not sure I want to play again Shepard" Liara smirked and used her omni tool to reset the holographic chess board that lay between them.
"Are you afraid I won't be able to tolerate being blown out of the water twice in one day?" Shepard's delivery was light but her expression was probing.
"I have no doubt you can hold your own Commander" Liara closed down her omni tool display and leaned back in her seat. Specialist Traynor had played a couple of games with her a few days ago and told her to go easy on Shepard.
"Doubtful" Shepard rested her chin on her hands and studied the game board. She had always considered herself a decent chess player until she'd decided to play anyone on the Normandy "I've been playing this for ten years Liara, when the hell did you learn to play a human game?"
"Not so long ago" Liara said and made her move "Specialist Traynor gave me the board and instructions" Shepard made her move and Liara countered "She said you played"
"Not very well" Shepard muttered as Liara took her first piece "Obviously"
"It's a curious game" Liara added, taking another of Shepard's pieces.
"So you learnt to play chess, this well since being back on the Normandy?" Shepard gawped at her.
"Well" Liara studied the board, her face a mask of concentration "Yes" her eyes traced Shepard's movements, detailing everything.
"What are they doing?" Tali asked.
"I don't know" Garrus replied, standing up and shifting a little, trying to get a better view of the board angled between the Commander and the Asari "I thought they were playing chess at first" he glanced across to Tali "But it takes longer than ten minutes to play a game doesn't it?"
Tali nodded "Unless you're not very good, and I've heard Shepard is"
"Well they've set the board up six time in the last hour and they both look very.. grim" Garrus observed "Do you think this could lead to bloodshed?"
"Could do" Tali looked at the intent expression on Shepard's face "The Commander doesn't normally take prisoners"
"Checkmate" Liara whispered for the sixth time, leaning in close and speaking too softly for anyone else to hear.
Shepard stared at the board, playing the next half dozen moves in her mind to the inevitable outcome, spotting instantly where she had left herself open. After a few moments she mumbled "Well it's an improvement. I actually made seven moves before completely blowing it"
"We can stop Shepard" Liara offered, aware of the frustration emanating from the woman opposite.
"Why?" Shepard smirked, raising her eyes to Liara's, a hint of challenge in her voice "Are you afraid I might take you next time?"
For a moment Liara wasn't sure how to respond. Deciding that diplomacy was probably best, she began slowly "Shepard..."
"Let's go" Shepard interrupted.
"Is everything a game to you Shepard?" Liara reset the board and laughed, feeling oddly more carefree than she could remember being in a very long time.
"Not everything" Shepard said, smiling as she said it, although her eyes held something serious in their depths "But almost"
"I just thought you might want a break..." Liara smirked.
"No you didn't. You figured I must be tired of getting thrashed" Shepard tucked her hair behind her ear and gave Liara a pointed look "And you don't think I have a chance in hell of beating you. Right?"
"Uh..."
"But it might happen, right?" Shepard persisted "Maybe not the next game, or the tenth game, or the hundredth game, but it could happen"
"Possibly" Liara said laughing "Why not? But are you planning on making this campaign your life's work Commander?"
"Maybe" Shepard nodded slowly, liking the way Liara laughed, thinking that she hadn't seen her look this relaxed in a long time and liking that too "All I know is that I'm a long way from giving up."
"Are you always so persistent?" Liara asked, knowing the answer already.
"Only when it matters"
There was something in Shepard's tone and the way her gaze played along Liara's face that made her heart race. Liara blushed a little and fell quiet, cursing herself for being so susceptible to the Commanders intense good looks and inescapable charm.
"Do you want to stop" Shepard asked quietly, enjoying the faint colouring of the Asari's cheeks and becoming very aware of their thighs touching lightly as they pressed close over the game board.
"Oh no" Liara said just as quietly "Not if you don't" For a few moments they said nothing, merely sitting in companionable silence "Shepard, why did you join the N7 program. I know why you became a soldier, but why command, I mean?" Liara had seen all kinds of races; all kinds of people do what Shepard demanded without question and with complete lack of regard for their own will or preservation. Shepard was the greatest leader of people she had ever met, but the stresses she faced were immense, and Liara had always wondered what had led her down the path of Command.
"I suppose in a command role, I felt I made a difference" Shepard laced her fingers together and rested her hands on the table "You make a difference with your decisions, with your body, and with your people, and if you're decisions are wrong then it's on you. You know where you stand in command. There are no grey zones of following paths you may or may not agree with."
"That sounds... Intense" Liara shrugged, not really sure she understood, or ever could.
"Yeah" Shepard replied, a note of surprise in her voice.
"I'm not sure I could ever understand that" Liara had never hungered to know anyone the way she wanted to know Shepard. She couldn't explain it, not even to herself. It was more than respect and more than attraction, more than even simple curiosity. When she looked at Shepard she saw so many things, dedication, responsibility, anger, stubbornness, passion. Most of all she saw passion. For what she did, what she believed in, and for the people around her.
"I'll be honest" Shepard looked at Liara and sighed "Ego is a big part of it" she admitted "It's a big personal challenge when people's lives are on the line and you're the only one who can change that tide"
"And when you fail?"
"You do everything you can to make sure that doesn't happen. But it's that pressure, that thrill that makes it all worth it too." Shepard paused "Well, maybe that's not entirely true anymore"
Even in the dull light Liara could see Shepard's eyes sparkle. When they had met, there had always been this pent up energy and excitement around her that had been nearly palpable, but it was different now, now the need to survive seemed to have taken out any joy she found in the fight, in being a soldier.
"I think" Liara paused "If you were not a soldier Shepard, you would have been a pilot. Or a Doctor maybe. You would have found some other way to fight death, some other way to help people."
"Maybe" Shepard laughed. It was surprising how easy it was to talk to Liara. The moments that they had spent together had been some of the most Intense in her life. It wasn't that intensity bothered her though, she had spent her life around intense people, but Liara had a quiet intensity that was comforting and strangely compelling. From the very first moment she had met her, she had sensed her underlying honesty and commitment, and perhaps, more than anything else, that was what she valued about her most. Maybe it was because they were alone, maybe it was just because this felt like the first time she had been able to relax in a really long time, but she felt oddly peaceful.
"Come on" Shepard stood up and stretched her hands out above her head. She looked down at the board for a moment and then moved around the table to wear Liara sat "Hey" Shepard frowned down at her "What's that?" she noticed a line on the side of Liara's neck "You've got a cut here" Shepard leaned over her, turning her face towards the dull light.
"It's nothing" Liara lifted her fingers and laid them gently on Shepard's "Just a scratch Shepard"
"Now you sound like me" Shepard murmured softly, her hand still lightly cupping Liara's jaw. Perhaps it was the lateness of the hour, or perhaps it was just the fact they'd both had a god awful day, but Shepard couldn't seem to call upon her normal sense of distance as she took in the shadows beneath Liara's eyes and the weary slump of her shoulders "You look exhausted. You should get some rest" her thumb traced an idle pattern on the Asari's cheek.
"I've tried to sleep and can't" Liara pushed herself to her feet, glancing at the chess board then back to Shepard who looked pretty much like she always did, unruffled and in control if a little tired. It was infuriating, nothing ever seemed to faze her "You know, I don't ever seem to remember you going to bed at night"
"No?" Shepard asked, voice rising in quiet incredulity, eyes sparkling.
Liara smiled at that, remembering very clearly the two of them sleeping in each other's arms "That's not exactly what I meant" She was surprised that Shepard would refer even obliquely to the nights they had spent together whilst they were out on the crew deck.
"Would you like another game?" Shepard inquired, gesturing to the board that Liara still had out on the table.
"No, not tonight"
"Is that because my ego is fragile and I can only take losing so many times?" Shepard asked dryly "Because I was thinking, considering you're so exhausted you're about to fall down, I might just have an advantage"
"Definitely not the first one" Liara said softly, packing the game away with her omni tool and moving closer to Shepard "And you're far too chivalrous to take advantage Shepard"
Shepard looked at Liara as she moved closer to her, aching to touch her just as much as she had the first time they'd spent the night together, but her desire was tempered by where they were, by who they were, by what they had to accomplish. The war of desire and caution was so obvious in her eyes that she knew Liara could see it, and suddenly she was blushing. The fact that she did, surprised her more than anything she could remember.
"Sometimes I regret that caution" Shepard murmured, not even realizing she had spoken aloud.
"Do you?" Liara was very close.
"Yes" Shepard nodded slowly, her gaze flickering over Liara's face and down her body "You're so beautiful" her voice was barely above a whisper. She reached up again, the long supple fingers of her one hand tracing the edge of Liara's jaw, ending with a fingertip against the corner of her mouth.
"Shepard..." Liara said huskily, turning her head to kiss that fingertip.
"You amaze me" Shepard breathed, stepping closer and placing both hands on the back of Liara's neck. Their lips were too close for anything but the kiss that began as something gentle and warm but rapidly became hungry.
"Shepard..." Liara groaned again, laying her palms flat on the Commanders chest and pushing her back slightly. She moved her hand, pressing her fingers to Shepard's lips "Stop. Right. There" she felt Shepard's smile curve under her finger tips "Hold that thought"
"Which one?"
"The one that just made your eyes go dark"
"Oh, that one" Shepard stepped back, running her hands across Liara's shoulders and down her arms until she was holding both her hands "How about we finish our game of chess somewhere a little more private?"
"I think that would be wise"
"Definitely"
