Had some awesome feedback and PM's this week, thank you all so much. The story is getting pretty dark right now and it's hard to write sometimes, so it's all good for my motivation, that said, there is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise. Right now we have some recovery, before the next big push.


The door slid open and two ragged shapes stood in the doorway, covered in blood and filth. Shepard had one arm across Liara's shoulders, the other swinging loose, blood dripping from her fingertips, head drooping. They wobbled together toward the bed before Liara lowered her slowly down. Shepard rolled onto her side as Doctor Chakwas scooped her legs up. The deep gash in her shoulder yawned open, oozing blood across the pristine white sheets.

"Goddess" Liara looked away and took a step back allowing the Doctor complete unrestricted access to Shepard. She shook her head, horrified at the damage.

"She'll be alright" Vega muttered as he pulled up behind her and put a bloodied hand on her shoulder. His eyes were focused on Shepard and although his voice was solid, his face was pale.

"I do not understand what happened" Liara didn't look at him, she just watched the flurry of motion as the doctor and two assistants removed Shepard's armour, administered drugs and staunched blood flow. Shepard grumbled something incoherently, her skin was deathly pale and her arm hung loose off the side of the bed "Why did she engage the Reapers?" Liara felt sick.

"I don't know Doc" Vega's grip tightened on her shoulder but still his gaze never left the injured woman "Grief, anger. I've had my fair share of moments like that. I'll be honest though" he paused and whistled "She made a dent in those Reapers down there. Beam a recording of that to Earth and morale would sky rocket "
"What?" Liara was looking at him and when he finally made eye contact with her, she was shocked at the awe and fear she could see in the big marine's eyes.

"If the whole Reaper army would have turned up in that room Doc, they wouldn't have stood a chance" He sighed and absently wiped his bloodied hand on his hard suit.

"It was stupid, reckless!" Liara spat "She could have been killed, we all could have"

"Look" Vega shifted nervously "I don't know Shepard the person very well, but I know Shepard the soldier, and what happened down there needed to happen" he shook his head "When you fight this much, have this much going on, you need to let it out, or it destroys you"

"You two" the shrill voice of Dr Chakwas cut through the air "Out, now" she waved a blood covered hand in the direction of the med bay door.

"But I..." Liara protested but was cut off by Vega.

"Come on Doc, we need to get cleaned up" He grabbed the Asari by the upper arm and twisted her away from the scene. He was immeasurably glad that she didn't resist.


Garrus spun around as the lift to the CIC opened and Tali stepped out. He watched as the Quarian took in the scene and then zeroed in on him, making her way over slowly.

"You all right?" He asked but already knew the answer.

"Yes" She tilted her head a little, as if considering her answer "And no, is Shepard all right?"

"I don't know the extent of her injuries, but she's alive and stable" Garrus replied in a soft voice. He'd come straight to the CIC after boarding, ensuring EDI and Traynor could pick up and follow the tracking device. The whole deck was a hive of activity and he mentally listed the things he had to do. He made a motion towards the Commanders console but winced and looked down at his leg. A neat, black rimmed hole about a centimetre across had been punched through the back of his calf. He flexed it and winced again, the wound was already cauterised but it hurt like hell "That was amazing. Amazing" he looked up at Tali and promptly looked away. There was a long smear of Shepard's blood on her suit, near her chin, a vivid contrast to the purple motif and a stark reminder of the position they were in "I've never known anyone to escape from an encounter like that, where so many things went wrong" a pause "I'm amazed" he shifted his weight in to his other hip as he surveyed the Alliance crew around him. He'd been in Command of the Normandy before, many times, but never with Shepard completely out of commission. Seeing so many faces he knew, he suddenly felt the weight of that responsibility.

Tali followed his gaze for a moment "Don't worry about the crew Garrus" she folded her arms "They don't see you any differently from Shepard"

"Really?" He took a step closer to her "Can you really be sure of that?"

"No" She shook her head slowly "But you shouldn't doubt their professionalism, they want to hear you, they want you to tell them what to do" she gestured towards the war room and was about to say more, when she paused and sucked in a painful breath.

"You hurt?" Garrus walked up to the Quarian and took a good look at her, walking around to examine the back of her suit "Damn Tali" A long dark scar on the surface near the base of her spine tracked all the way up to her shoulder blade "Your suit is covered in scorch marks" two more dark scars marked the side, along her ribs "You need to either get a proper hard suit, or a better shield generator" he flared his mandibles in annoyance.

"Its fine" She muttered, turning away.

"It isn't fine" Garrus snapped "That graze is almost through" he pointed at the scorch by her spine, then almost in a whisper, he said monotonously "You need to be more careful, one tear, one unlucky shot and you could die from infection. I can deal with a lot of things Tali, but not that, never that"

"Kee'lah" Tali turned and grabbed both his hands and held them "It's all right, don't worry" she held his hands as if she held a drowning man, gripping him painfully hard, as if the tighter the grip, the more chance she stood of calming his anguish. She shook his hands gently, trying to catch his eye.

Garrus sighed, reversed the grip and closed his hands around hers "I mean it"

Tali's hands were wrapped in Garrus' broad fingers "I'll get a new shield generator" she shrugged awkwardly "and reinforce my suit, if that will make you feel better"

"It'll help" Garus bit back the anguish in his tone and repeated, more calmly "Yeah, that will help"

"Ok" Tali glanced deliberately down at herself and then laughed shakily. A tension in her relaxed as Garrus let go of her hands "Is that your idea of being romantic?"

Garrus gave her a crooked smile but Tali couldn't make out what lay behind his expression "As romantic as I get I'm afraid" He almost laughed but choked it back.

"Well at least I know what I'm getting myself into" Tali murmured quietly, her gaze dropping. She rubbed at a mark on the arm of her suit, picking at some of the grime. She felt a pressure, a weight, and lifted her head to find Garrus had wrapped his arm around her shoulders, trying to force his touch through her suit.

"It would seriously surprise me if you didn't" This time Garrus did laugh.


Liara leant forward, shaking her head and gripping the console edge in front of her. She glanced up at the hazy, flickering image of Anderson as she listed the details of the attack on Sanctuary. He'd asked her what their next move was, but she couldn't answer. Their situation was so complicated, there were so many cultural, political, religious and military dynamics to consider that she was almost overwhelmed just thinking about it. She sighed and thought how strange it was that soldiers, primarily trained to fight had suddenly become the galaxies politicians, aid workers and engineers. When she looked up again she caught an unguarded, stunned expression on Andersons face and that scared her. He was the experienced one here, the one they were looking to for guidance, Shepard's closest military confidant.

"That was some brief" Anderson muttered, rubbing his hands together and exhaling slowly "Will Shepard recover?" his gaze was piercing.

"Completely" Liara replied.

"Good, good" He sucked his teeth for a moment "Look Liara, I know what you're thinking. But we can get through this together. We've got a strong team and I'm confident in everyone's ability..." he caught the vague hint of amusement on the Asari's face and paused "What?"

"You sound an awful lot like Shepard" Liara gripped the console edge tighter as she stared through Anderson's image.

"You mean Shepard sounds an awful lot like me?" he chuckled and then sighed "You're worried about her?" he asked slowly.

"Yes. I know that physically she will be fine" Liara gave a small, strangled, despairing laugh "But that is not what I am worried about" she gave Anderson a sideways look "I have never seen Shepard like that and I fear the cost of this war"

Anderson nodded and looked up sharply at the Asari "I can understand that, but I have faith in her and so should you" his image flickered and he turned to look at something, pausing for a moment before turning back to Liara "Shepard is hugely intelligent and one of the most experienced soldiers the Alliance has. She can be stubborn and arrogant, but she has her mission and she still fiercely believes in it. I know she spends hours planning, thinking of new ways to get the upper hand against the Reapers, and she's good at it and very very good at professionally executing it too" He paused again, and much like Shepard, Liara could see the shift from Anderson - a tired, worn man- to an Alliance soldier and Admiral before her eyes "Unlike you or I, she is solely responsible for delivering this mission, but like any Commander, she has to be prepared to lose people to complete it. The pressure of that in such an unsure and changing environment is immense" He folded his arms "It's understandable that Shepard's decisions will become more emotive, more reactionary. It's natural, it's part of war, but she's been trained for this, she'll be fine"

Liara looked around at the blank consoles, shaking her head slowly "I am not so sure I believe you"

"That's a damn shame Liara" he shook his head and took his hat off "Because I can guarantee you, the only person whose belief she needs, is yours" he sighed and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand "Now go" he made a gentle shooing motion with his hands "Tell Shepard when she's fit, to come speak to me"

"Admiral I..." Liara paused momentarily as a new cold dread settled in her stomach and began to gnaw at her. She wanted to run, wanted to find a dark corner of the galaxy where they could hide from the Reapers. The reality of the war so far had eroded her convictions and she realised with a sad sense of personal disgust that she valued Shepard more than she valued the mission. She no longer believed there was any way they could truly defeat the Reapers.

"Liara look at me" Anderson's harsh tones broke her reverie and she looked up to see the Admiral staring at her with a knowing smile "I understand what you're feeling"

"Do you?" Silently, dark eyes fixed on hers.

"More than you know" Anderson stared at her, speaking softly "More than you know" and with that he cut the video feed, leaving Liara alone in the darkness of the war room.


She woke slowly, turning over in the narrow bed and nearly passing out as pain lanced through her shoulder. There were voices talking somewhere behind her. An antiseptic, hospital smell came off the sheets beneath her. She remembered Vega shouting at her, remembered falling over, but that was it and she felt alright now, just hungry and slightly queasy at the same time. Her eyes insisted on closing again and she let them, the view had been hazy anyway. The voices behind her went on. Sometime later she opened her eyes again, groggily she rolled onto her back and tried to focus on the person sitting less than a meter away.

Liara had her arms folded, legs outstretched and crossed at the knee. She was looking down at the floor, eyes distant, face very dark and very serious.

Shepard lay there for a moment, her mind going back to the last time she'd woken up on a hospital bed, two years after she'd died. All she could remember was momentary disconnected sensations: pain, the occasional smell, a flash of light, nausea and an overheard word or phrase. She felt sick again now. She dredged through those memories, terrified, like she had been then, that her memories had been altered, that all the treatment she'd had, had altered her, made her somebody different, a puppet for Cerberus. She wanted to recall everything and try to assess if the memories she found buried in herself were the ones she could remember from before. It made her head hurt to think about it and she slung her good arm over her eyes and groaned.

"Shepard?" Liara got up when Shepard moved.

"I'm still me, right?" Shepard didn't move her arm and her voice was muffled and far away. Liara swallowed, heart clenching as she knew instantly what Shepard meant.

"Yes" she nodded, reached down and lifted Shepard's arm away from her face. There was a neatly healing slice on her cheek and she had a split lip but her eyes were bright and focused "You are still you"

"Promise?"

"I promise" Liara combed a stray wisp of hair off Shepard's forehead and scowled as a nasty bruise was revealed underneath "You are an idiot, reckless and impossibly brave" she smiled a little as Shepard frowned unconsciously "But you are still you, no changes Shepard, a few more scars maybe but that is all"
"I don't remember much, what was the damage?" Shepard wouldn't make eye contact with her, she stared at the ceiling.

"Fractured ankle, concussion, nicks and bruises, but mostly blood loss from the shoulder laceration. You were very lucky" Liara shook her head and now Shepard looked at her "I had accepted that there would be moments during this where we would lose people Shepard, good people, that injuries would be suffered. But this was perhaps a little too close"

"I'm sorry" Shepard muttered, looking away.

"What happened down there Shepard?" Liara took Shepard's face in her hand and turned her head, forcing her to make eye contact.

"Did you get the bodies out?" Shepard asked quietly, ignoring her question, but the look of distress on Liara's face told her everything.

"We barely got you out" The Asari shook her head.

"Shit" Shepard wrenched her face away and slung her arm back over her eyes. Miranda and Oriana were abandoned and would lay unburied as forgotten, faceless casualties. Corpses waiting for the Reapers to find them like predatory birds and pick them to pieces. She blew out a breath, remembering now how she'd felt when Miranda had died, the rage and the grief, but she couldn't cry. Looking into her own thoughts and feelings now, all she could make out was a terrible barrenness, an almost complete lack of emotion save for a feeling of puzzlement, that after everything, she should be experiencing such a limited reaction "How long have I been out?" she muttered, still shielding her eyes.

"About three hours" At a loss, Liara folded her arms "Shepard..."

"I was angry" Shepard interrupted her "So angry, at everyone and everything. At Miranda"

"Miranda?" Liara asked, confused.

"She was stupid, she should have come to me" Shepard removed her arm from her face and looked at Liara "Have I become that unapproachable?" she tried to sit up.

"No Shepard" Liara tried to reassure her, pressing one palm to her good shoulder to make her lie still "Not at all"

"Then why?" Shepard asked, her eyes searching Liara's face "Why would she do that, why didn't she come to me?"

"I cannot answer that Shepard" Liara closed her eyes and sighed as the burden of fear she had laboured under for the last three hours finally began to relent. She opened her eyes again and gently stroked Shepard's arm "Anger, is that why?"

"Why what?" Shepard murmured, suddenly sounding incredibly tired.

"Why you confronted the Reapers"

"Is it that important you know?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"Because I am afraid Shepard" Liara's voice was quiet as she linked her fingers tightly around Shepard's. She took a deep breath "I am afraid that you no longer care"

"What?" Shepard's wondered if she'd ever be able to take a breath again, her chest felt so tight. There was such sadness in Liara's eyes.

"About your life" Liara shook her head and squeezed the fingers in hers even tighter "About what would happen to us, to me, if you traded your life in so easily"

"Of course I care!" Shepard tried to pull her hand free but Liara wouldn't let go "I just..." She paused as the swift swell of anger that had risen so quickly, evaporated just as fast. Her life seemed to have been nothing but anguish, horror and guilt, a wasted result of events she had no control over. She'd been so angry at everything, at having things taken out of her control again, that she'd given into a terrible blood haze and a desperate need for revenge "I don't know why, I was just angry, I needed to let some of that out" she said softly "I don't have a death wish, if that's what you're accusing me of" she tried to pull her hand free again, but again the Asari held fast.

"That is most definitely not what I was accusing you of" Liara said with an odd, sad looking smile. Before Shepard could make any sort of argument the Asari leaned down until her lips almost touched Shepard's ear "I lost you once, I'm not quite ready to lose you again" she whispered.

Shepard slowly turned her head until their eyes met, their lips just centimetres apart. Liara's eyes seemed to deepen in intensity, filled with an infinite sadness. Shepard forgot what she was about to say as she got lost in eyes like the still blue of shallow waters.

"I cannot watch you die again. Please do not do that to me" Liara took a breath "I love you" She admitted quietly.

The simplicity of Liara's statement struck Shepard harder than any blow and she drew in a sharp breath, her blood suddenly racing. "That isn't fair" Shepard murmured "You know I'd do anything for you"

"I know" Liara said softly, leaning closer, kissing her.

When the Asari pulled away Shepard sighed "Liara I..." Soft fingers on her lips prevented her from finishing.

"Stay here just a little longer" Liara asked tenderly, frowning as Shepard's eyes closed "Get a little more rest"

There was a long silence and for a moment Liara thought Shepard had drifted off to sleep.

"It's the sedatives" Dr Chakwas said warmly. Liara straightened up but didn't let go of Shepard's hand, she wasn't sure how long the Doctor had been stood there but she couldn't remember hearing the door open "I know she hates being sedated, but I couldn't see her getting any rest otherwise"

"I understand" Liara nodded "Will she be all right?"

"She'll be fine" The Doctor paused "The Commander heals remarkably quickly thanks to Cerberus" she paused again, sucking her teeth "I actually think that could be the only good thing Cerberus have ever done" tentatively the Doctor moved closer to the Asari, placing a hand on her shoulder "Are you all right?"

"Are any of us?" Liara answered, never taking her eyes from Shepard's face.

"Good question" Doctor Chakwas removed her hand and walked to the far end of the medical bay. She busied herself by looking over Shepard's chart but kept one eye on the Asari. The intimate exchange she'd witnessed had left her feeling like a voyeur and she'd backed away to give Liara the space she obviously needed. Looking at the Asari now, she could see just how tired and drained she was. Even if she hadn't been a Doctor, she would have been hard pressed to miss the radiating distress from the Asari. The strong planes of her face were hollow and drawn, her vibrant blue eyes were filled with shadows, even the timbre of her voice rang with pain. What really surprised the Doctor though, was the instant calming and strengthening effect the Asari had on Shepard. If Shepard was the only hope the galaxy had left to rely on, then Liara was the one driving that hope, and from where she was standing, that hope looked very fragile.