Nightmare One - The Hideous Reflection


If it's in your nature

You'll never win.


The white light sears through my eyelids before I even open my eyes. Mentally, it's disorienting. Physically... It feels as though my eyes are being carved out of their sockets. I close my eyes, but the glow of my skin hurts. Using my hands as protection, though a tiny bit helpful, proves to be useless. The light is everywhere. I haven't seen anything so white my entire life. It's radiating off the walls, the floor, the ceiling... Where does it end? Does it ever end?

I let the burning sensation blind my eyes. There's nothing else I can do. I take a few steps and the sound echoes. So it does end. This is a room,which means there's a way out - hopefully. My eyesight somewhat improves and I stretch my arms out infront of me to navigate. I feel like I've just learned to walk. At this rate, it'll take at least half an hour to reach a wall (assuming I was just in the middle of the room), and another hour to find the exit. I guess I have the time. There's nothing better I should be doing. Being tortured was never really fun.

I'm tired and starving. I actually haven't eaten in a week. Every step I take seems to make the room brighter, setting alight what hope I have left. All of those things together makes me more desperate. I start to move faster which, of course, is a stupid idea on its own. No, I don't just move faster. I start to run.

And then I trip.

My impact with the floor doesn't lessen the stinging of my eyes. Actually, every part of my body is in unbearable pain. I shut my eyes tight and clutch my most probably broken arm. I open my eyes again and the room's brightness shocks my nerves. Where am I? My eyes water. I start crying. I give up.

That's when I see him.

Crouching on the ground a few feet away is the man who put me here. The man who covered my body in scars, the person behind the suffering of everyone I ever cared about. The man who took every single of one them away from me. I should kill him. Now that we're all alone, I should kill him. Kill him.

If I run to him and knock him over, my weight may be enough to bash his head on the floor. It's surprising how useful the training center is outside the arena. I grin at the thought of using his Games against him. He grins back.

I gather all the strength I have left and stand up. He does, too. I let go of my arm and stand as straight as I can. If I go, he goes with me. That way he can't do any more harm to anyone. The rebels will win. Katniss will be safe.

I start running towards him, my body throbbing with the effort. He is a sore spot in the light. Even his white beard looks too dark compared to the room. We're so close, I can see the anticipation gleaming in his eyes. I lunge at him.

I crash into something. My skull feels like it's going to burst. I stand up as quickly as I can, only to see him still standing there, unscathed. But this time there isn't just one. There are seven of him surrounding me in a circle. I clench my fists. The look on their faces is the very physical form of fury and hatred. That bastard. He's a hologram, you idiot. He tricked you. Why would he come close to you without any protection? He knows you'll kill him.

I have to do something. Since I crashed into one, these must be solid. Maybe I can break them, maybe I'll die trying. I don't know what else to do. Killing myself hadn't occured to me before, but under the circumstances, dying seems less painful than what I've been going through. I'm probably strong enough to break them.

I raise my hand to punch one of the surfaces. I bring it down. Just as my fist is about to collide with the material, I stop. My blood freezes in veins and my heart stutters. It can't be.

Every single one has been mirroring my movements. Their fists raised in the air, looking as confused as I feel... I lower my arm. They do the same. I bring my hands up to my face. They do the same.

"No," I whisper. He whispers back. I whisper back. I am him. This isn't a holo. It's a reflection.

In a frenzy of desperation I claw at my face and hair, trying to tear my face apart. How I wish now that I could kill myself.I dig my nails into my arms until fresh red trails overlap the older ones. I rip my hair and bite my hand.

Suddenly, the sound of laughter fills the room. It is the kind of laughter that makes you feel like hiding in a corner. I have no corner to hide in. I'm exposed. The laughter keeps echoing, over and over again. It takes a moment for me to realize that I'm the one laughing, which tears my mind apart. Kill me, please. Sobs rack my soul as I collapse on the ground, and I cry away what sanity I have left. I lace my arms around my waist. I am vulnerable. I am weak. I am tired. I have no right to be. I shut my eyes to stop the tears but they just keep coming. Bring the nightmares back, please. Bring my old nightmares back. Peeta, this is just one of your twisted nightmares. This isn't real. It isn't real. You're not thinking straight. He's doing this to you. It's the venom. It's the-

I am him. I am Snow. This is it.

I'm a monster.


A/N: Guys, I really apologize for this super late update, but I've been stuck for a while now and the chapter wasn't coming along. I'm also sorry if this chapter was shorter than the others. I just had to get it out so I could continue writing the others. If you like it, great! But if you don't it's okay :) I promise the other chapters will be better. Lyrics at the beginning belongs to the song "In Your Nature" :)