Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively.
White Friend
by Melpomene and Shirodachi
Ni
Green, red and blue spots specked the nothingness. Slowly, sluggishly, they began to move randomly, blemishing the undecipherable pattern borne of their seemingly meaningless formation. Velocity and entropy increased, rendering separate figures into mere blurs and smudges. The multitude of dots gradually coalesced into a solid blackness.
Yahiko opened his eyes, waiting for them to focus, only to see the same lonesome darkness. He sat up with startling alertness, looking around the familiar place. Yes, he had seen this place a hundred times before in broad daylight. And also a handful of times like this, submerged in the night. But that was a long time ago. That can't be. He had never spent a sleepless night here, never glimpsed Sanosuke's pad in this light for more than a few drowsy seconds. Odd, that it would seem so known to him with such clarity, its shadowed and lighted areas seemingly mapped in his brain…
Up from his futon he rose, heading for the door. There really was something amiss in there, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Prudence would have advised to discontinue this action, but like many, he confused such forethought with cowardice. So he cautiously slid the shoji open and started; what he saw outside determined the answer to his puzzle.
The Himura's.
But how can he be in his old home? He moved out of the Kamiya dojo more than a year ago, right after Kaoru and Kenshin got married. Perhaps, he just slept there for the night, as he occasionally did under the pretense of the shihondai's insistence.
Funny, he can't remember. Maybe all he needed was fresh air to clear his mind. He stepped out of his room to take a late-night stroll.
As he progressed down the hallway, the shadowy form of a woman came into view. He wondered who it could be, immediately ruling out the petite Kaoru. Of course, being pregnant made her quite large. But that was horizontally, not vertically. It can't be-
"Yahiko?" the person suddenly spoke, revealing instantly her identity. "What are you doing here?"
"Megumi?!" exclaimed Yahiko. "I should be the one asking you that. You're supposed to be in Aizu!"
Megumi frowned. "I am Sagara-sama's personal nurse. And you should be in the servant's quarters, gardener, not wandering the mansion at this unholy hour."
"Gardener?!" spat out Yahiko. "Sagara-sama! What the- ?!"
But Megumi slipped away as evanescently as she came, leaving him alone in that vast hallway swathed in black.
… Vast hallway?
"Wait a minute," he panicked. "This isn't the dojo!"
Of course it wasn't the dojo. It was a great Western mansion, or so it seemed, similar to Yutarou's home. But what was he doing in there? And as a gardener for that good-for-nothing, money- broke bum Sanosuke?
This is getting really weird… And ridiculous
He began walking uncertainly, meandering but going towards the direction he originally chose. And out of the darkness, a sound was heard…
"Aaaauughhh…"
He froze.
What the hell was that?
There it was again, an indistinct sort of crying, wailing, pleading… It sounded like someone in trouble, someone he knew well, someone like…
"KAORU!"
Something ignited at a corner of his brain, something that overwhelmed him with the sheer intensity of it. Still, he shot from the spot he stood even before his mind focused sharply on the imperative: his teacher was in trouble, and she needed help.
"Where are you?!" he half-unwillingly screamed out, an echo to her own desperate plea. "Busu, give me some sort of sign!"
It was hopeless to find his way through this maze of corridors. He couldn't even pinpoint the origin of her voice. Presently, he careened into another hallway, the place marked by a pained wailing of a name. His name. Not Kenshin's, everybody's hero. His.
"Yahiko! Help me, please!"
Despite himself, his whole being flooded with pride. His teacher, the busu-sama, trusted him with her life. She can admit her weakness to him, can call him for help. She trusted him.
Yahiko barely noticed when he was plunged into utter blackness. He was like a blind man, groping stupidly in all directions. No. A blind man had his other faculties to rely on, his senses honed by the body's adaptive mechanism for survival. He, Yahiko, was as helpless and alone as a man lost at sea…. But he fought bravely, though blindly, floundering his way through the seeming ocean of void, following the best he could the screams that reverberated in his hearing, screams that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
Again, as briskly as it had come, the confusion vanished. He found himself still alone in the dark, but now faced by the familiar sight of the dojo gates. His ease was not to remain with him for long. At that exact moment, another cry of supplication left the hostile stillness riven. Now without the unseen pandemonium throttling his senses, he was able to pinpoint where the sound was coming from….
"I'm coming, Kaoru!" he yelled, bursting through the door, which opened without resistance. "I'm-"
At the threshold, he hesitated, hesitated for one tiny fraction of a horrendous second, as he took in the scene that beheld him. It was Kaoru, all right, her bleeding broken face contorted with pain of betrayal and disbelief, totally oblivious to the blood that turned the surrounding dust into mud. But even more shocking was the identity of the assailant. The stance, even though the bloody fist clutched no blade. The hair, the glare, everything. It was unbelievable.
But unmistakable. His idol…savior… His friend… brother… father…
What? Impossible Impossible His mind shrieked impotently. His own wife?
His mind shrieked impotently. ?As he had done before, came the reply of his self in glib logic.
I can't stop him I can't save her from him. Me? That's impossible. I can't--I must. What the hell is going on?
It did not matter. Kenshin. Battousai. Imposter. He would stop him. He would stop him
"Nooooooo!!!"
A rage swept his mind, overruling any attempts of rationalization made by his brain, squashing that secret part of him that cowered and sobbed in hysteria. In fighting the urge to implode, what with the thousand thoughts that assailed him, Yahiko ceased to care, being unable to contest with the swarm of it all thronging in his neuropathways. Damning to hell practically everything the very woman he was trying to save tried to instill in him, he hurled himself at his benefactress' attacker with uncharacteristic savagery.
He hurtled through empty space for eons before he made impact on target with a sickening crack of bone against bone. It was an eternal hell of sweat and blood lubricating a conflagration of straining muscles and iron wills. Finally, amazingly, Yahiko prevailed. And as he stared at the man's eyes, those soulless and totally unfamiliar eyes of a damned man, he had to hold back all not to crumple up and weep in relief. Not Kenshin… It was not Kenshin
Before another coherent thought could form in his head, Yahiko realized that the pressure of the man's body against his was gone. He looked wildly down at his hand, at what he thought held the attacker in a steel grip. There were… ashes.
Ashes. Like those of the dead. The dead they burn. The dead they turn to ashes.
The dead.
The man had crumbled away to ashes. How…?
Quickly, he turned his eyes to his teacher. He turned to be comforted by those blue eyes, to juice some miniscule solace from unexpected familiarity in this insanity.
But no. Blackness. Not blue.
Yahiko screamed, but his voice stuck at his throat. He couldn't move in his position, could only wait and watch with dread and horror as the lucent apparition floated towards him.
Void.
Her eyes… Those eyes again
"Welcome back, Yahiko-kun," she said in that ephemeral voice, that voice akin to the rustle of the leaves, that distinct faint sound they have made for thousands of windy autumns. "I knew you'd come. I knew you wouldn't leave me all alone. My rescuer… my friend… Let's stay together always. Forever."
And the cold earth opened up and swallowed him a whole.
The winds rushed around him frenziedly, whipping his hair, clothes- - everything loose-- against his flesh. Like cruel talons, they slashed at him, cold and abrasive against his unprotected skin. Claws reached out to clamp onto his guts, to tear them from the rest of his body, as if meaning to leave those ghastly white intestines fluttering in freefall, pushed back by air pressure, pulled down by gravity.
He was falling, falling, falling…
Falling from where?
Who knows? Somewhere.
Falling to where?
Nowhere.
Just falling, falling, falling…
Forever.
Stop…Stop
Stop? You cannot stop. You cannot stop such a sharp descent.
Help me Please, make it stop.
Do you really want it to stop, Yahiko-kun?
Stop it Stop… I can't breathe… I can't…
Do you now what would happen when it stops, Yahiko? Do you want to know what would happen after?
When- if- you stop falling, when you reach the bottom of that abyss, you'd be smashed to smithereens. Like an egg falling on the kitchen floor. Falling and smashing apart on the unforgiving earth.
Have you seen an egg break, Yahiko-kun? The white fragments littered randomly, their wedged edges seeming like razors gashing their own yolk, sadistically lacerating the sac? The red would spread all over that grisly mess, the thick fluid of what would have been, or used to be, life crawling on the wood, seeping to it. Can you imagine the human body like that?
But perhaps it would be better that way, better to have a swift, sudden, but painless death-- yes, it is painless, painless in its inexorable suddenness. Anything was better than that limbo, better than falling over and over again but never hitting a surface. Falling to nothingness for the rest of eternity.
Stop this I don't want to be alone forever…Please stop
Then fall, Yahiko-kun. Drop and hit the bottom. Meet the end, Yahiko. You won't know what's there, but at least it's a termination, a conclusion to this sickening continuity of naught. Very well.
FALL.
The impact shattered surrounding glass. Water gushed out the breached cell; air rushed back into his lungs. Yahiko sat up suddenly, gasping hard, his heart racing as if it had just powered a near endless run. He collapsed in exhaustion, his tense back hitting the thin mattress with a soft thud.
A rough palm rubbed down his face, slathering the beads of sweat into a sticky sheet of cold liquid. Hazily, he looked through his watery eyes. Barely could he see in that darkness. Barely, but sufficiently. It was unfamiliar, what he saw, but that unfamiliarity comforted him more than anything. He was in Sano's pad. His pad.
Finally, his heart rate receded. His breathing lulled itself to a steady reposed pace. Heaviness grew on his eyelids and he drifted to a light dreamless slumber.
Kaoru watched as the mountain of under-kimono and linen tottered dangerously to one side. It tilted slightly right first, sending some unmentionables on an avalanche down its slope. A corresponding sway to the opposite direction halted the items' fall. After a few more tremors, the mass stabilized.
"Ororororo…" whimpered the mountain.
She tried to stand up, failed, and sighed instead.
"Really, Kenshin," she said. "You need help."
"I'm fine," a muffled voice answered. "I'll manage. Just trying to hit a balance point - oroooo!"
His wife had to content herself with a few tsk-tsks and a shake of her head, being unable to rise. He was able to erect himself, anyway, before he completely toppled over. Still, she pushed on the wood with all her might to hoist herself to her feet.
"T-there. I'm…" She stuck a bit of her tongue out in exertion. "I'm up."
"Really, don't bother."
"I worked too hard to stand up, so don't you dare waste my effort." She marched up to him with arms outstretched. "Now let me help you."
"Somebody's at the door," said her husband without missing a beat.
Not working. There's no classes today.
Barely had she finished saying the last word when a faint knock was heard.
"Want me to get that?"
Kaoru just glared at where she thought his face was. "I'll get it," she muttered.
"Thank you."
"Don't laugh yet, you I'll get back at you, I swear."
"Yare, yare."
"Ohayou, Tae-san!" said Kaoru cheerfully as she opened the gates. "Watash-" she stopped in surprise. "Yahiko? What are you doing here?"
"I see I'm not wanted here," Yahiko replied icily.
That stuck a chord in Kaoru. "Yahiko!" she grabbed him by his shirt. "I was just asking It's your day-off today. You usually don't come."
"This is a dojo, right? What do people do in dojos anyway?"
"But- "
"Can't a guy train without being suspected of something?" Brusquely, he slipped past her.
"Yahiko!" Kaoru called back in frustration. "What's the matter with you? Come back here!"
It was Kenshin who came to her and shut the open door.
"I don't get that kid. One moment he's being nice and sweet, the next he's such a pain. I mean, yesterday he gave me a nice massage-- and tea with it too--and now this!"
"Isn't that how he always has been, Kaoru?" replied Kenshin as they walked back to the dojo.
"No. It's different now, lately. Before, when he's mad or peevish, it's usually because he's irritated, and he wants to irritate me. Now it's as if he's hiding some sort of resentment or something."
"He's worried about you, that's all."
"You're worried, but you're not like that."
"I don't believe I've ever mentioned being so." He looked at her quizzically, testily… innocently, with wide liquid eyes. "Worried? Me?
She glared at him ferociously in return. "Well, you better be 'coz I'll kill you if you're fussing just to annoy me "
"What am I like then?"
"Sweet. And irritating, too." She looked at him pointedly as he supported her as she walked towards and sat on the threshold. "On second thought, you're not that different. Just that he confuses me."
"I see. Well, you know how he doesn't like worrying and being afraid. His fear for you translates into resentment and…"
"Animosity." The look she directed towards the source of grunts and cries of exertion was dark.
Kenshin laughed. "Not really, Kaoru-dono."
"Didn't you hear what he said?" his wife demanded. "Not wanted. What does he want me to do? Coddle him? But he hates that too He wants independence? Okay. So now he's acting as if we're shunning him That- that jerk." Her face contorted into an odd combination of a wince and a scowl, her lower lip quivering.
"Now, now, Kaoru. He can't help but feel a little left out."
"Left out? We didn't ask for him to leave. He insisted on it!"
"Remember what I told you about changing times?"
"Yeah. Yahiko is growing up, I suppose. Then, why is acting so immaturely?"
"He's in an awkward stage when you're not yet considered an adult but you're no longer considered a child."
"Oh, I know that feeling. I know that feeling well. Then comes the stage when everybody expects you to be adult but treats you like a child."
"Yes. It's not surprising he'd find problems about fitting in what with all the changes going on."
Kaoru nodded astutely. "Changes brought about not only by his maturity but also by our marriage. For example this one." She gestured towards her abdomen. "This is one very big change."
Kenshin smiled at her fondly. "Not that big, Kaoru-chan."
"Oh yeah?" she challenged. "Would it have happened if previous changes didn't occur?"
"Uh… Ano…" He scratched behind his ear. "That's the idea anyway. He's trying to give us space."
"Well, we don't need that much space " Kaoru wrinkled her nose in displeasure. "I'd kick him out when I want to."
"That's what he's afraid of. He doesn't want to be spurned. He's anticipating that we'll send him away sooner or later, so he's beating us to it by distancing himself so it won't hurt as much."
"Yahiko no baka. As if I'm actually going to do that. Ever."
"He doesn't really know that, does he?"
"He should."
"I though you said people like to be told."
"Told."
"Aa. Stuff."
"And when did I say that?" she demanded.
"You know…" He smiled at her sweetly.
The look she returned was odious.
"Never mind."
"It's stupid of him." Kaoru sighed and stood up, using his arm as leverage. "I think I'll go do some of the mending I should have finished last night."
"Aa."
"Will you talk to him? You're good at that. He'll just bite my head off."
"Hai, Kaoru-dono."
He didn't mean to be mean. Really.
"Busu. Busu. Busu. Busu."
On and on the word came. It came in place of the typical numbers spoken to keep track of each blow.
Well, he did mean to be mean. But he didn't mean to be mean that way. There were different kinds of meanness after all: meanness when he meant to be mean like that, meanness when he meant to be mean not like that, and meanness he didn't mean.
Yahiko sighed his surrender. He himself didn't really understand what he meant by being mean to her a while ago. What did it matter anyway? He was frequently mean to her and he usually didn't give a damn why. But his being mean to her a while ago annoyed him. He got irritated with himself when he, as a rule, reveled on occasions she's riled up and insulted.
Yes. His meanness earlier involved not a childishly pissed off Kaoru. She was seriously hurt, perhaps? An injury elsewhere instead of in the customary dignity and self-esteem? Hurt by something he hurled back at her due to shortcomings she was helpless to stem?
"Yahiko."
Now what person would dare interrupt him in the middle of his training? He was training And everybody knew how much he hated being jolted out of his concentration. Not even Kaoru wanted to be reminded so with merely light reasons.
"Orororo…"
Now that could only be one person. But Kenshin never interrupted him during training. Not only was he super polite, he was also super prudent.
"Ano… Since you don't seem to have many things to spend your time on… Some help might prove really useful…"
Something to spend time on? Isn't training something?
Yahiko attempted to puzzle out Kenshin's uncharacteristic thoughtlessness. As he did, what he had been staring at for so long slowly took form in his mind. It was the tip of his shinai, he finally realized. And it was perfectly stationary, a meter or so before his eyes.
What the hell was he doing anyway? How long has he been standing there staring stupidly like that? He didn't even want to know the answers to those questions.
"Sorry, Kenshin," he said instead. "What was that you were saying?"
He turned his gaze towards the door, catching sight of a boulder of linen atop a precariously-swaying, silly rurouni. Or rather, formerly a boulder of linen atop a precariously-swaying, silly rurouni. Now it was merely a dump of bedding toppled over the prostrated rurouni.
"Orororo…"
"Right, you wanted help," said Yahiko mildly. "Sure, Kenshin." And because it happened all the time anyway, he merely sighed, tossed aside his shinai and plucked the poor redhead from the floor.
"You alright?" he inquired.
"Yes," replied the rurouni. "Sessha believes so."
Yahiko patiently piled up the washing, took half of it, and rolled it into a bundle. Kenshin took the other half.
"Thank you." He started for his trusty washtub.
"Yeah, sure." Yahiko followed him, jesting. "We're in this together, buddy. Let's combat that slave-driving busu."
"Actually, sessha volunteered. As usual."
"She forced you to volunteer. As usual."
Kenshin shook his head. "I can't help wondering why you're being antagonistic towards her this early today."
"I'm not antagonistic."
"Aa, not so. Not more than usual to be so remarkable."
Yahiko frowned, slightly irritated. "I'm not antagonistic," he repeated.
Yet the word echoed in his mind. Antagonistic? Well, he was, wasn't he? And he was usually damn proud of it, too.
"Yahiko."
Kenshin was peeking at him from in between two pristinely white sheets fluttering in the wind. He was some five meters away from him standing over the water-filled tub.
"Those are for hanging," Kenshin said, dropping his load on an empty tub near him. He cocked his head slightly towards the boy, looking at him in concern. "They weren't soiled by the fall now, were they?"
"Eh?" Yahiko went to him and dumped his bundle with the other clothes. "Whatever man."
"There's really no point washing it if it's still dirty after, Yahiko."
Yahiko gave him as suffering look. "The dame's already nuts about you. No need always trying to please her."
There was a long silence as Kenshin chose not to answer that. Yahiko watched him as he hung his washing for that day.
"How is she, anyway?" he finally swallowed enough pride to ask.
"Wonderful."
The boy groaned. "You know what I mean."
"Like I said, wonderful. She's in her last trimester now. Dr. Genzai assured us she's very healthy. And I'm sure her correspondence with Megumi-dono would cover anything we left out."
Yahiko rolled his eyes. "As if. You're talking about that pig-headed, hard-headed airhead tanuki."
Kenshin shrug. "I suppose I could use a hand taking care of her."
Yahiko considered his reply for some time. "She'll be awfully mad," he said.
"I know." Kenshin chuckled.
The boy gave him an odd look. "You're crazy."
"Maybe." He laughed again. "But I'm saner now than I had ever been." Distantly the swordsman stared at space. "There's really no point trying to make you understand; I can't tell you what it's like. To have a taste of love, of home… then to have it taken away. I have stumbled for so long in the darkness of exile. I suppose I was mad all those years, madder than the Battousai ever was thought of being. Loneliness can do that. Loneliness and emptiness… I lost once… twice… almost. I never want to lose her." He gritted his teeth. "Ever."
Kenshin suddenly became aware of the boy he had been deeply staring at. He shook his head ruefully. "You must be finding me tiresome. So that's why you moved out." He laughed. "Sorry, can't help it."
A long while lapsed before the boy remembered to snort. "Heh," he managed.
"She does miss you, you know. She just doesn't show it."
Yahiko unconsciously nibbled on an untrimmed nail. "You're asking me to move in again," he stated.
"Yes." Kenshin sounded a little shy.
"I thought so," said Yahiko airily. "I already helped you guys in other ways."
"Apparently, the incorrigible Tokyo Samurai is indispensable."
"Yeah… encouragable…" He stopped fiddling with his hands and looked at Kenshin in bafflement. "Encourageble?"
Kenshin just smiled. "Can I depend on you, Yahiko?"
Those fatal words….
"Of course," Yahiko swiflty affirmed. Then he grew serious. "What's up? Is there a new enemy?" He suddenly felt a little apprehensive and sought to grip his bamboo sword for comfort. Belatedly, he realized having left it in the training hall.
"New enemies? None as far as I know. Scads of old ones I'd imagine, though. Some too shy to introduce themselves. Others still trying to keep up with sessha." He shrugged. "Actually, I just need help with mundane things. We have to watch her closely nowadays and well… That's among other things. And-"
Yahiko facefaulted. "You want me to join Operation: Stalk the Pregnant Wife."
Kenshin scratched behind his ear, a little embarrassed and uneasy. "I wouldn't put it in those terms." Anyway, you've been guarding her as fiercely as I am, though unconsciously, Kenshin mused. He didn't say it aloud to spare the boy from "indignities".
"She'll be tormented."
"I'm afraid so," replied the husband wryly.
"She'll be angry, furious, enraged."
"Aa."
"But she'll be helpless "
Kenshin cleared his throat delicately. "I cannot vouch for that one."
But Yahiko didn't hear him. "And there's nothing she can do about it, right?"
"Yes," Kenshin replied artfully. "I don't think she'll be able to counter our efforts. Effectively."
"This is a dangerous game, Battousai," he admonished sternly.
"Yes, I know. But we don't have to disclose the game plan at all. By the way, don't tell her that I told you."
"Told me what?"
"That she misses you."
"Of course. I wouldn't want the Busu Conspiracy foiled." Yahiko strapped on his trademark bratty grin. "I like it."
He laughed evilly, and laughed and laughed. Then stopped.
"Where is she?" He clapped his hands gleefully in anticipation. "Can't wait to start."
"In the kitchen," came the nonchalant reply.
"WHAT? "
To be continued...
reposted: 011105
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Old Notes Written Before Repost:
We changed the title from "The Dark Half" because I discovered there's already an RK fic with the same name. Again, this chapter has been sitting in my computer for weeks. -.-; (chants "time management")
Sarlinia: yup, this is as original as a fanfiction can get. we had other inspirations but we'll not disclose it as of yet. It might ruin the story. As for the girl... all in good time. .
Crystal: thank you. we hope it wouldn't remain cute through out the whole fic. Yahiko grin (Right, Shirodachi-sama?)
Shirodachi: you haven't been introduced, dear. P I'll try to speed it up. I'm too l/crazy right now. .
