A/N:
As a token of gratitude to you wonderful readers and for your equally magnificent reviews, here's a looooooooooooooooooong chapter:
Chapter 3
Starting Anew
Silence…
It was deafening at first.
But with the thought of where he was, he began to associate it with serenity.
Peaceful: such a fitting word for a memorial park.
Kakashi had been standing in front of a gravestone for thirty minutes now. If he had the time, he could remain so for hours. He was trained for that; he was a close protection officer after all.
The lack of noise strongly lured him to reminisce, so he let his thoughts drift off with the cold breeze.
…
…
…
There were a lot of people; from their family friends to the people whom he didn't recognize. They were here to grieve with him, to mourn for a very special person; for his mother.
The news had reached him while he had been training. He had just finished the obstacle course when their team captain called for him. He had rushed to the hospital, and there he saw his parents. One of whom was already too pale and unmoving.
So, that led them to this moment. It was the day they could have one last look at his mother's face. It was her funeral. The people around him were pouring their tears out in sorrow; they were saying their goodbyes and prayers. But he was different. He remained silent. He didn't let a single tear fall. Not when his father was around.
He refused to look weak in his father's eyes. He wanted to show him that he had become independent. That he was on his way to create a name for himself. Even without his help.
The number of people slowly lessened as the soil blanketed the casket; until such time that Kakashi and Sakumo were the only ones left.
"Kakashi, how are you son?" Sakumo interrupted the awkward silence between them.
He knew that his son held a grudge against him. Sakumo rarely goes home ever since he was assigned to guard the Harunos. And whenever he does, Kakashi was always out or on training. That was why he couldn't help but be glad to see him, despite his wife's passing. His boy had really grown into a man.
"I'm good." Kakashi replied, his face indifferent.
"Your mother had told me… that you've graduated in the army. You would make a good soldier." Sakumo smiled proudly at his son, but Kakashi's gaze stayed on the grave before them.
"I'm currently training to be a bodyguard. The army training would be an edge."
"Oh… So you're still pursuing that dream." Sakumo saw that determined eleven year old boy, who established that goal, in this eighteen year old man. He was then fascinated at the idea of being able to help other people in dangerous situations.
"Kakashi, you have to remember that being a bodyguard is a selfless and sometimes thankless job."
Kakashi's eyes shifted to Sakumo this time. "I can see that."
Sakumo didn't miss the underlying message. "Son, I may not have been a great father to you. But I want you to know that I support your dreams; I and your mother do."
Kakashi wanted to believe his father's words but Sakumo's actions spoke otherwise. Or was it him who kept his distance? Either way, Kakashi was willing to give his father a chance and let him into his life again. After all, they only had each other now.
He was about to tell Sakumo that he was training in the Shinobi Securities; the agency where Sakumo had graduated with flying colors. He was about to tell him that he wanted him to attend his graduation. He was about to; but a call beat him to it.
Sakumo answered his phone. It was one of the bodyguards in the Haruno mansion. The conversation was a blur for Kakashi. He only made out the words that Sakura was kidnapped and it was now for the second time.
What was clear to him though, was the look of shock, worry and determination on his father's face all throughout the call.
Why couldn't his father be concerned for him that way? Why did another person's child appear to be more important than his own son?
"Kakashi, I have to go. Good luck with your training, son." Sakumo patted his shoulder in a farewell gesture then walked away in a hurry; not even waiting for a reply.
Kakashi remained standing there; in front of his mother's grave. His eyes followed his father's retreating form. The hope to fix their relationship shattered into pieces. And unlike the clichés of falling rain in this setting, the sunny weather seemed to be mocking him. It was laughing out loud at how unfortunate he had become. And so, he told himself… he had lost both parents that day.
…
…
He trained harder, twice as the effort he exerted before. He cut off his ties with his father for two years straight. He didn't want anything to do with him anymore. Although he couldn't deny his last name, there was still one thing he can conceal: his face.
"Hey Kakashi! You know, you're a good looking guy. I mean, not as handsome as me, but you'll do. You don't need to cover your face from everyone." A loud jovial voice spoke.
"Shut up, Obito. Can you soften your voice a little? The least we want now is to attract any unwanted attention. We're infiltrating the enemy's base. Focus!" Kakashi replied in a hushed voice, complete with an eyebrow twitch. Obito had been his friend since they were in the army training. If he wasn't just as talkative as he was, he can pass as a best friend.
"Sheesh! I'm just not used to that new get-up of yours. Is that a part of your props? I was just worried. There's a great possibility that you can be mistaken for one of the enemies, you know. You are aware they wear masks, right?" Obito continued his bantering while he stayed crouched, following Kakashi's lead.
"Just shut up, will you? And watch out for traps, they might be anywhere." In Kakashi's moment of distraction, he failed to notice a transparent nylon, which was raised a few millimeters from the ground. And when he did, he had already stepped on it.
The action triggered a small explosion behind the container van they were hiding against, just enough to blow their cover. The container van shook with the sudden impact. It caused the heavy-looking boxes on top of it to tumble upon them.
"Kakashi!" Obito acted on instinct to save his comrade. He lunged forward and pushed Kakashi to the side as the objects plummeted. He was left standing there, on the very spot Kakashi had been.
Kakashi watched with wide eyes, as the objects crashed onto Obito.
How could he be so careless?
…
…
…
Kakashi stared at the name engraved on the tombstone. In silence, he asked for forgiveness since he had failed to play his part. The results of the actions he made kept on bugging him until this day.
"Obito…" he murmured.
Then he heard the familiar stifled laugh from behind. "Damn! You always get me! How do you do that?" Obito stepped beside him with a facial expression as mature as a three year old.
"Because you weren't stealthy enough. I can clearly hear the grass rub against the soles of your feet. Sometimes I wonder why you even passed as a bodyguard." That was a lie though. Kakashi definitely acknowledge Obito's skills when it came to work. He always turned into serious mode and became fully alert whenever his charge was around.
"Well, excuse me! Are you forgetting that you owe me your life? I saved your ass on our first mission, remember?" Obito flashed him a knowing smirk.
"I remember alright. That was an enactment mission. And those boxes were empty." Kakashi returned the smirk, too bad Obito can't see it.
"Tch. That was still our first mission, nonetheless." Obito insisted.
"And it's a failed one."
"We passed the camaraderie part of it, though."
Yeah, trust him to see the sunny side of everything. With Obito as his friend; Kakashi was able to get through all the stress and depression he felt when his father passed away.
"We better get going," Kakashi said, after silence had befallen. "We've been away for too long."
"Yeah, I kinda got bored waiting in the car for almost ten years, really." Obito's wide grin retracted into relaxed lips as he turned to face the gravestones in front of them. He bowed in respect before turning on his heel.
"I'll be in the car. Hurry up, okay?" Obito just wanted to make sure his friend was all right. And now that that was settled, he would give the family's alone time back.
Kakashi gazed back at the gravestone before his feet.
"Goodbye, old man." All the 'what could have been's' and the 'what if's' were crossing his mind. He had wasted so much time and had been selfish. He now saw the mistake he had made; he shouldn't have stayed away from his father. Indeed, you will realize how important a person is once that person is already gone.
Still, his fists clenched at the thought that Sakumo was the one who neglected him first.
His head tilted to the right, where another gravestone sat. "Goodbye, mother."
He bowed then walked away to where his friend awaited him.
It was New Year's Eve. The Haruno mansion was quite busy. Everyone had been planning the whole day, making preparations here and there. Maids were preparing the meals, setting the dining area and cleaning the guest rooms. The security personnel were not an exception. Some were even appointed to watch over in the kitchen, just to make sure the food would not be 'accidentally' poisoned.
The Haruno family was only comprised of two members. But Kizashi invited some family friends, business partners and officemates; or at least those who hadn't made plans for the occasion.
The venue for the party was at the backyard, where everyone could get a spectacular view of the fireworks display exclusive in the Haruno mansion. Several tables were set and guests had started to arrive. A live orchestra was also present to complete the setting.
Sakura was on her way to one of the tables, where Tsunade and Shizune were already at. Her father was currently busy talking to their guests, but he would complete the table when he was done.
"Hi Sakura! How was your holiday so far?" Shizune greeted the girl, whose bodyguard was on her trail.
"It looks like it's in her favor, if you ask me." Tsunade said, as she noticed the spring on the girl's steps. They hadn't seen Sakura since the holidays started. And it appeared she didn't need the therapy sessions now, unlike before.
"Hi Shizune! Hi aunt Tsunade!" Sakura greeted back with a smile as she took her seat. Kakashi stood right behind her.
"It's okay, I guess. We went to the mall last Christmas. Oh! We also had dinner at Mr. Uzumaki's house." If she was upset about the latter, she didn't show it.
"That's great, honey." Tsunade smirked at Sakura's good mood. "Hi there! Kakashi."
"Good evening Dr. Tsunade, Shizune."
Sakura turned to him, her eyebrows raised. "Hey Kakashi-san, why don't you take a sit? Your legs will feel sore if you stand there all night."
"No, thank you. It's easier to check the area when I'm standing. It's part of my job." The girl didn't really treat him like a bodyguard, more like a friend or dare he say it, family.
Sakura scowled at his answer and mulishly spoke. "But I want you to sit down."
"Sakura, Kakashi already said no. Let him do his job, okay?" Tsunade interrupted, she shook her head at Sakura's behavior. There was only one thing in her mind: Like mother, like daughter.
"Fine." Sakura indignantly let it go.
The night went on quite well. Most of the guests had vacated the dance floor and let the music take over them. Kizashi also danced with the women and girl from their table. They started to have their meals as they chatted among themselves.
So, basically everyone had been enjoying the party, everyone… until the New Year began.
"Five!"
"Four!"
"Three!"
"Two!"
"One!"
"Happy New Year!" Everyone was excited for another year that had just started. All were ecstatic and bewildered at the fireworks display that was taking place. All were wearing a smile on their faces.
All but one girl.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
The first roar of fireworks made Sakura froze.
That noise was familiar. She had heard it somewhere. She was sure. Then images of blood, dead bodies, and Sakumo-san's lifeless orbs flashed before her eyes. Suddenly, she wasn't in their backyard anymore. She was in an abandoned slaughter house, staring at a black metallic device which emits that horrid noise.
Her heart pounded rapidly and she was finding it harder to breathe. She continued to stare at the fireworks display unseeingly.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
The fireworks had been going on for half a minute now, and it was just starting. Kakashi stared at the colorful lights bursting against the dark sky. For a second, he forgot that he was in the Haruno mansion and why he was there in the first place. And when he did remember, he scanned the surroundings for anything suspicious. So far, there was none.
He glanced at the girl beside him and raised his brows at the peculiar sight. She was trembling, and a layer of sweat had formed on her forehead. What disturbed him the most though, was that she looked like a dear caught in headlights.
He tapped her shoulder. "Sakura?"
She didn't respond.
He crouched and waved his hand in front of her face, but she didn't flinch. She was looking paler at every second. "Sakura!" he called, louder this time.
Kakashi's alarmed voice caught the attention of the other persons at the table.
Kizashi scrambled to Sakura's side and nudged her shoulders, but to no avail. His eyes were wide as he whipped his head to Tsunade.
Tsunade knew exactly what was happening. The symptoms were there. "She's having an anxiety attack. Quick! Let's get her inside!"
Kakashi didn't waste any time. He lifted the girl and followed the two women to the main study room as Kizashi followed suit.
The other guests, aside from those near their table, were oblivious to the commotion that had just taken place. They were too absorbed in the display of lights at the sky to notice anything else.
Sakura's attack had lasted for twenty minutes. She was able to calm down a bit at the last five, but that didn't make them any less worried. Tsunade gave her some antidepressants once she was able to breathe properly. The girl looked exhausted and fell asleep right away.
"What is wrong with her, Tsunade?" Asked a flustered Kizashi; his eye bags were now more noticeable from lack of sleep. He had been awake all night, anticipating for the findings on his daughter's status.
"Firstly, we had to locate exactly what triggered Sakura's panic attack last night. It had to be something she would associate with her last kidnapping. She was fine at dinner… until the fireworks started." Tsunade's gaze never wavered from Kizashi's as she spoke.
"Kizashi, we concluded that extremely loud noises can cause Sakura to experience anxiety attacks; noises such as explosions, thunders or gunshots."
"So, are you saying she could have another panic attack in the future?" Kizashi already knew the answer to that. He just needed a concrete response to let his mind grasp the reality of it.
"I'm afraid so, Kizashi. Don't worry, there's a treatment for that... But in addition, her panic attacks may just be a sign for another condition." This information also wounded Tsunade, but Kizashi had to know sooner or later. She pointedly looked at Shizune.
Shizune nodded, as she got the message. She took the duty to announce their discovery.
"Kizashi-san… From the occasional nightmares to the recent panic attack; Sakura has been showing symptoms of having post-traumatic stress disorder."
Kakashi had been standing outside Sakura's bedroom door. An hour has passed since she went in from another therapy session with Shizune.
He knew he shouldn't be surprised about the girl's trauma, but never did he expect that it would be this serious. For the first time in his job, he didn't know how to react to an unexpected situation. He was trained to protect his charge from external harm, but no training had prepared him for what had just happened to Sakura the other night.
"AAAAAAH!"
A high-pitched scream alerted his senses. He abruptly pushed the door open and was greeted with a horrified look on Sakura's face. She was sitting on her bed and from what it looked like, she had been sleeping. And he knew instantly what the matter was; she had another nightmare.
He walked to her side and tried to soothe the girl as much as he could. Once she had settled down and was tucked in, he started to walk back to his post. But a tug at his sleeve made him pause.
"Please don't leave me alone, Kakashi-san." Sakura whispered. Unshed tears were stuck in her eyes as her bottom lip shivered.
Not wanting to upset the girl any further, he complied.
"Okay, I'll stay right here." He sat on the chair just beside her bed. This was the first time he had seen her room.
The room was quite spacious. A queen sized bed served as the focal point with two dressers on each side. Mint green wall papers decorated the four walls. Three white doors were present, one that he just passed through and the other two, he guessed, were the doors to her closet and bathroom. On the far right, there were two lounge chairs with a small coffee table in between. She also had a bookshelf beside a study table. On the top three levels of the bookshelf were picture frames and other items.
"Sakura, you mind if I take a look at those?" Kakashi pointed at the bookshelf.
Sakura shook her head and muttered, "Just don't sneak out the door, okay?"
Kakashi smiled behind his mask, "I won't."
He walked towards the bookshelf and observed the pictures of a toddler Sakura to the eight-year old one. There was also one picture of Kizashi with a woman with the same eyes as Sakura. He scanned the items below the picture frames. There were key chains, small figurines and seashells. Basically, just random objects she wanted to keep; but one in particular caught his interest. He picked it up before turning to face her.
"Hey, Sakura, why do you have these?" Kakashi raised a pair of black leather gloves for her to see. They looked new and unused. Nothing was wrong with them, of course; aside from the fact that they fit the hands of an adult.
"Oh, I found those inside Sakumo-san's bed side drawer after he… you know." Sakura answered rather uneasily. "It was weird though, 'cause I had never seen him wear those."
"Had he mentioned what this was for?" Kakashi's curiosity took over at the new knowledge about his father.
Sakura's eyes roamed the ceiling. "Only that he was reserving it for something or… someone." Sakura's eyes widened at the realization before she met Kakashi's eyes.
Kakashi's mind couldn't help but leave the room and travel back in time.
…
…
"Hay-ya! Hay-ya!" An eleven year-old yelled, as he hit his father's suspended punching bag.
"You're doing better." Sakumo, who had just entered the room, was greeted with the sight of his son practicing the basic hand-to-hand combat movements he recently taught him.
"Is that so? Then I'll have to practice more to be best at it." Kakashi smirked.
"Just don't use that skill to beat other kids at school."
"Well, that depends. It may just come in handy when I need to protect those being bullied." He punched his left palm with his right fist to stress his point. That was when Sakumo noticed the loose, worn-out pair of gloves that Kakashi had been wearing. Those were his old gloves.
Sakumo sighed. "Kakashi, no matter which angle you look at it, you're still a kid. And you fighting with others, is not appropriate. It may just be small fights now, but when you get older; you could abuse your power and end up being one of the bad guys instead."
"No way! I'll make sure I'm gonna be a bodyguard just like you." Kakashi's eyes were marked with will. His face was contorted in a scowl; his father overthinks his affairs.
Sakumo chuckled at his son's reaction. "Tell you what. If you keep up the good work and start training to become a bodyguard, I'll reward you your own pair of gloves." Sakumo showed that fatherly smile of his, which secretly says: 'I'm proud of you'.
…
…
"Um… Kakashi-san? You can keep it if you want." Sakura's voice put him back into present.
He offered her a kind smile. "Thank you." Then he observed the item in his hands once more. He already had a pair of gloves, but it wouldn't hurt to keep this one. This one had a sentimental value. It was the evidence that washed away his doubts. It was the evidence that his father did care about him despite his rebellion.
Sakura stared at Kakashi. She may have not seen the stretch of his lips; but by how his eyes creased at the sides, she knew he was smiling. How she wished to be loved like the way Kakashi was. Kakashi-san was so lucky for having Sakumo-san as a father.
"Kakashi-san? Is daddy at home?"
Kakashi brought his gaze back at the girl. She looked like she was holding her breath, and waiting for the results of a lottery draw.
"No, he went to work. He has a meeting scheduled for today." Kakashi's eyes caught her shoulders slumped, her head bowed and her face frowned. She looked even more depressed than before.
At the sight of Sakura, he not only saw a disappointed little girl. He also had another glimpse of the teenage boy staring at his father's retreating form. And at that moment, he began to think that maybe… they weren't so different after all.
Sakura had returned to school, and the first week of classes was almost over. At some degree, she was delighted to have seen her friends once again, and to be reunited with the treasure of education. But at the most part…
"Hey! Get out of my way, you forehead freak!" A loud voice overpowered the subdued chatters in the stretch of the corridor.
Sakura quickly side stepped out of the red head's way. She didn't want to cause any trouble.
"That's right, be a good girl and know your place." The red head snarled, before she sniggered with another girl beside her.
They passed by Sakura, intentionally bumping her shoulder in the process. Sakura ignored the eyes directed at her and resumed walking. She had only taken two steps when she was once again halted by a yell she easily recognized.
"Hey! Karin! Get back here and apologize!" The girl was standing a few paces in front of Sakura.
Karin turned her head back and found a fuming blonde girl. She raised a brow and huffed; before she looked away and continued walking with her friend. They reached the end of the hallway and turned right while muttering, "What a bunch of losers".
"Where are you going? You coward!" The blonde stepped forward to follow Karin, but Sakura moved to block her path.
"Just forget it, Ino. Come on, let's get to class. Lunch will be over soon." Sakura was used to Karin's attitude, because she had known her since the first year of grade school. Karin was one of those kids who bully her. They had always been school mates, but were never in the same class. So, Sakura hadn't been aware of her family name just until last month.
Just the thought of that dinner made her miserable. Karin had acted like she was interested in befriending her at first. She was all nice and welcoming like she was never mean to Sakura at school. But when just the two of them were left in the living room; that was when the real Karin showed herself.
She made it clear to Sakura that they can never be friends. And that Sakura should play along with her 'acting skills', so she could stay on her father's good side. Because Sakura didn't want to anger Karin and was afraid of what she could do to her at school; she did what Karin told her to.
"Sakura, you can't let Karin get away with everything. You also need to show her that she's not the boss of you. I'm not always at your side to shoo her off, you know." Ino was Sakura's best friend. They went to kindergarten together. Ever since then, she had always been Sakura's defender at school. She knew about Sakura's situation with Karin, and she didn't like the idea that Sakura just let someone practically crush her.
Sakura understood what Ino meant. She, of all people, knew that someone else wouldn't always be there to stand up for her.
"I know, Ino. I'll try." Sakura offered a smile.
"That's the spirit!" Ino beamed in return; her blue eyes shining. She grabbed Sakura's arm and they walked together to their next class.
Laughter.
That was thrown at Sakura when she was on her way to her seat. She was called by the teacher to go on the board and answer the equation. Naturally, she got it right. But when she walked back to her seat, a boy stretched his foot to the aisle and tripped her.
She gasped and landed on the floor knee first. It stung, and it seemed that the skin there was torn. She didn't cry. The physical pain was nothing compared to the pathetic state she was at.
"Quiet down class! This is not a laughing matter." The teacher helped Sakura up. She was sent to the clinic for her wound to be tended, while Ino volunteered to go with her.
When school was finished, Kakashi took note of the frown on Sakura's face. Even on the ride home, she remained silent. And when they arrived at the mansion, she went straight to her room without a word.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Sakura?" Kakashi had been wondering what had caused her bad mood. She was fine this morning, in fact, every morning. But whenever she came home from school, something was always off.
He knocked again and turned the knob, which fortunately wasn't locked. She was on the bed, face down. Her face was buried on a pillow as she sniffed. Kakashi sat on the chair beside her bed and tried to talk to her.
"Sakura… you know, you can tell me what the matter is. Maybe I can help?"
Sakura turned her head to Kakashi. Her eyes were red as she stared at a spot on his shoulder for a few seconds. Then she sat upright and rubbed the tears off her cheeks. She faced her bodyguard and tried to think of words that could explain her situation, but she found none.
So, she opted for the short and precise, "I'm weak".
Kakashi sighed. He wasn't good at giving advice, but he could try. "Sakura, if that's how you see yourself, then chances are, that's how other people will also perceive you as."
Sakura bowed her head and remained quiet. Her eyes unconsciously focused at the band aid on her right knee. Kakashi followed her gaze and was instantly formulating theories of where she could have gotten the wound.
There was a long pause before Kakashi spoke again. "Are you being bullied at school?"
Sakura's spine stiffened and her eyes went wide. Kakashi didn't have to hear her answer to that. He, himself, had once been a victim of bullying when he was a child. And there was one solution he came up with. He just wasn't sure if it would work for Sakura, but he could still give it a shot.
"Sakura, sometimes it isn't bad to fight back if it means staying true to yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else, and someone's opinion of you doesn't make who you are. You have your own thoughts. And how you think is what matters most. So you have to fight for what you believe in. You have to protect that belief. You are your own best bodyguard."
Sakura stared at Kakashi. That was what she needed at this moment. Her troubles were starting to look blurred now, and she was finding a reason to not just mop around. He was right, she can protect herself… she can be strong.
"But how can I do that?"
Kakashi smiled widely behind his mask. "What do you think of literally busting those bullies out of the picture?"
"You mean… I have to actually fight with them?" She asked, her confusion and surprise apparent.
"Well, I wouldn't call it fighting. More like, defending yourself. So, what do you think of learning the art of self-defense?" Self-defense does not only provide knowledge about protecting yourself. It could also increase one's confidence, which Sakura was lacking at the moment.
Sakura's eyes narrowed. She pondered over it and saw it as another learning opportunity. Her lips gradually stretched upward.
"That would be great!"
The heavy atmosphere a while ago lifted and Sakura's mood brightened. This was it. She wanted to change the person she was, and this was the perfect opportunity. With Kakashi-san's help, she would show the world what Haruno Sakura was really made of.
"Sakura?"
"Yes?"
"Just don't tell your dad, I gave you that idea."
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Sakura! Double time! You're gonna be late for school!" Kakashi had officially become Sakura's timekeeper. He reconsidered if he was a bad influence on her. She had always been an early bird before.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Sakura!"
A muffled voice answered him. "Just a second!"
Soft footsteps neared the door. And then the piece of wood swung open to reveal a teenage girl with short pink hair, in her standard school uniform.
"I'm ready, Kakashi-sensei!"
