**Author's Notes**-It is usually difficult to see a story end for an author, but it is a proud moment. Once the "Destination" piece is finished on this site, I am considering doing a re-telling of ME2 through this Shepard's point of view. It is merely a consideration at this point because it has been done by several others, probably by some authors who have considerably more talent than I. If anyone would be interested, please do let me know. Thank you to everyone for reading and may you enjoy this last installment.
Chapter Thirteen
Orbit of Tuchanka, Normandy SR-2, Shepard's Quarters, 1947h…
"I am glad that you are feeling better, Shepard," Samara told him as she sat next to him on the floor in front of his bed.
"Thanks to you and everyone else," he beamed. "Would you mind staying on the Normandy for a while longer…please?"
She made eye contact with him. "Why do you ask?"
"I've always enjoyed speaking with you; you make me feel at ease…like I'm with my mother." He looked away, restraining his emotions. "Since your missions mostly ran in asari space, you probably heard about me, but you only know what the media said. Jacob said that for a while they used to paint me like the Alliance golden boy." He stuck a fingernail along the back of his neck and scratched at some dry skin on his scalp.
"Shepard…" the justicar began.
"No, wait a minute. I want you to know something about me. Since you trusted me so much and let me in, I need to do the same to you. I…lost both of my parents on Mindoir when I was a teenager. That would be your equivalent of, hmm, let's say the age of 50, I think."
"So it was before you reached complete maturity and adulthood?"
"Yes. The batarians came and slaughtered many...those that probably wouldn't sell into slavery, I guess," Shepard remarked with a shrug.
"I have killed many of their race for their atrocities. Never have I witnessed such cruel and savage acts," Samara stated with a nod. "That was of course, until I was permitted to observe the krogan upon Tuchanka. Their brutal culture could use a justicar's refining touch."
"I think I remember you saying that this quote refining touch would require the use of many bullets."
"That is the only way many of them would understand the lesson, yes," she agreed and turned her head towards him briefly.
"Let me get back to the rest of my so-called legendary origin. After I climbed out of the garbage dump that was then my home, I enlisted with the Systems Alliance right away. Eight years later, we raided the moon of Torfan. I got the rest of my unit killed, and my superiors told me that what I did needed to be done. At the time of the attack, the revenge was sweet. I felt that everything that had been taken away from me had finally been paid for in full."
"You have done a few things that I would question as just as well, Shepard. But, you are not filled with an irredeemable evil. I have seen some acts of altruism from you. That is your saving grace from the Code."
"Uh…thanks, I guess." Shepard got up and sat on the foot of his bed. "Two months after that raid, I pulled out a holo of me and my parents and did some major soul searching. This wasn't the kid they had raised; this was a raving monster who needed to be put down."
Samara did not respond to him this time; she only tilted her head to the side.
"So it was from then on that I made a promise to myself to be a better person…if possible. That's why…I'm opening up to you right now. I've gotten over what the batarians did on Mindoir, but I don't think that I've told myself how much I miss my parents. Maybe it's just the sound of your voice that makes me feel safe. But I could use some reassurance right now."
"I did originally have a mission back in asari space that I wished for your help with," Samara continued. "That is why I originally came to the Normandy, but it was not an urgent priority. If I can assuage your fears, I will try and do so."
"I tried talking to Chambers, but…I can't seem to…make a connection with her. I know she cares, but she's never lost anyone close to her. She's got a huge family that misses her, writes to her, asks her to visit…"
"What troubles you, Shepard?"
"You've been around the block for a long time now." He scratched the back of his neck. "We must seem so impatient to the asari, wanting everything almost immediately, setting fast paced goals, and pursuing them passionately, sometimes even blindly."
"My opinion still remains the same of your species, Shepard. In fact, I am more inclined to trust yours because of you," Samara smiled. "You offer so much potential to the galaxy; I cannot wait to be by your side in battle again."
His expression dimmed. "I'm getting tired of it, frankly. I love exploring the galaxy, seeing what it has to offer, meeting interesting people like you, but it's wearing down on me."
"You're trying to be like Atlas. If I am correct, he is known for carrying the weight of the entire Earth upon his shoulders. Do you feel the same?"
"Yeah, it is getting to be a bit of a burden. I've only been there once, and even then, it was to attend an Alliance ceremony."
"Through and through, there are no doubts in my mind that you will succeed in no matter what you do or who you do it with."
"Thank you. I…wanted to ask your opinion on one more thing." Shepard shifted himself around a little. "What do you think of Miranda now?"
"From what I have witnessed, she has endured much heartache, like you. That will either bring you closer together or separate you completely. Perhaps two lost souls will not be so lost if they travel a road together." She arose, as did he. "When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, and no one can ever tear them apart. Miranda must put her past behind herself as you have and learn to forgive, especially herself. Now, if you will excuse me, I must go meditate upon the day's events, and I will pray that you find the peace that you crave."
"Certainly, and thank you for being here." Just as Samara left, Miranda passed by her, and the justicar tapped her on the arm. "He needs you; it is good that you came."
Miranda strolled inside Shepard's cabin to find him sitting in the chair next to his desk that was not far from his bed. He was deep in thought; his hands covered the back of his neck as he was hunched over. As her high leather boots clicked noisily down the steps leading to his bed, he did not stir. She ran her fingers through his hair softly and as he sat up, she bent down to slowly engulf his lips. Although parts of her wanted to pounce upon him like a ravenous tigress, this was not the time. He had been through a lot, and especially since Samara told her that he needed her, Miranda knew that her hungry passion could wait.
He let go of her first, but drew her into his lap, and she warmly embraced his head upon her breasts. "You don't know how much I've missed you," she began. "It felt like the ship had been turned upside down without you."
"How so?" he whispered.
"Jacob was hardly the Normandy's first substitute commander. First I tried…"
His head left its previous position and he looked upon her in wonder. "And miserably failed," she finished. "Then unfortunately, when I went to look for help upon Feros, I ran into an old friend that I dated at university."
"Uh-huh, go on." He leaned back against her chest.
"His name was Dean Watson, from Cape Town, in South Africa. When I left my studies behind, I also did the same with him. As you know, Niket had been the only friend I'd kept from that life. Well, Dean and I met again at a party thrown by that Exo Geni corporation. He um…convinced me that he wanted to meet you as well as help you, so I brought him along."
"What kind of a guy was he like? You're using his name in the past tense," Shepard's hand found hers and began to intermingle with it.
"I'm getting to it," she exhaled deeply. "Sorry, Shepard, this isn't easy."
"I'm not going anywhere for a while," he lowered his voice.
"Watson joined up with the EIA, then became a spectre. From what I saw of his skills, he had definitely earned the title," Miranda recounted. "And after he saw how disunited the crew was under my command, he suggested a different course of action. He spoke so eloquently, so convincingly, Shepard. It was scary how much of a charmer he was. Then all of the crew had a vote in the matter…between Jacob and Watson. With the exception of two people, Watson won hands down." She swallowed a large lump in her throat and made eye contact with Shepard uneasily. "I wasn't one of the two people who voted for Jacob, unfortunately."
He listened silently, his face unreadable. However, his hand stopped caressing hers immediately and he lifted his head all the way up.
"Oh, God," she said and flickered her tongue across her lips. "You have to understand, Shepard…this wasn't the Dean Watson that I thought I loved back in college. He had all of us under his sway eventually, except Jacob and Legion. I'm not sure how Jacob was able to resist doing so, but he was the reason why we were able to save you...and Legion. Watson had closed off all communications, and both Jacob and Legion worked to open it. They managed to do so, thankfully, because we all were so far gone that we turned against them. Then, Liara, Mordin, and that agent of hers came aboard with Samara. They freed Jacob and Legion and re-took the Normandy."
"Where were you in all of this?"
"I was with Watson and the others. He had us convinced that breaking into a Cerberus server base would give us access to your location. Foolishly, of course, the rest of us went along with the plan," she sighed. A shadow passed over her face as her expression darkened. "I murdered those people…without a second thought."
"You thought you were doing it for a good reason, didn't you?"
"Yeah, but now that I think of it…"
"Don't. I know you meant well-you couldn't have read through this guy's deception." Shepard reached for her hand again, but she removed herself from his lap and stood up.
"I was so goddamned blind until the end, and that was too late."
"Too late, how?"
"There was a Reaper in Watson-he called himself Harbinger," Miranda admitted. "He got into the Cerberus server and downloaded a lot of their data. I'm not completely sure about what he got away with, but some of the info looked like schematics for a mass relay. Cerberus had been trying, rather pathetically, according to him, to construct one. Maybe they were curious about how to reverse engineer the technology, maybe the Illusive Man was looking for other ways to prevent the Reapers from arriving, I don't know…"
"Go on, Miranda." Shepard stood as well.
"It was then that I realized that this man wasn't truly Watson. I attacked him, but he was too strong for me alone."
"How badly did he hurt you?"
"They had to carry me back; I wasn't conscious. But Jacob told me that they did eventually beat Watson. Harbinger disappeared from the planet-I'm willing to bet that he got that data, too."
He set his teeth, turned his back to her, and hammered his fist on the desk. "But they know how to build the relays; it's their technology. Why would he take the data?"
"Maybe it was so Cerberus couldn't keep moving forward. Didn't you report that Sovereign told you that they also built the Citadel? I don't know how Harbinger knew that they'd gotten a hold of some Reaper technology, but-"
Shepard's face became deadly serious. "We should go back to that base and see if there's anything worth retrieving."
"EDI and Legion have done that already, but as I understood it, decrypting that data isn't as easy as it would seem."
"Well, we seem to have some time on our hands now…hope it's a bit more than a few days." He sat upon the bed and patted the place next to him. Miranda cautiously joined him. "Liara told me about what you were prepared to do to the Illusive Man, and that she had to stop you."
"Yeah, I wasn't too happy about it at the time, but she was right. Both she and Samara intervened, actually."
"Can I ask why you went that far?" Shepard pushed a stray bit of her hair away from her face.
"He refused to give you up, wanted to die. He was that damned determined," she remarked and shook her head. "And as you know, my finger was about to pull that trigger."
"You should know that…I'd made a deal with him. That's how I got some of these war wounds…he put up a good fight. I bet he did some boxing back in his day, and I would have won if his henchman hadn't surprised me from behind."
"Typical," she rolled her eyes. "He would break the rules just to save himself."
"So you'd really leave him again?"
"I should've left him after we started the very first mission." She scratched her nose and upper lip. "Now that I think of it."
"When were your first doubts?" Shepard inquired gently.
"The derelict Reaper ship. It was horrid-I met Dr. Chandana before I started the Lazarus project. We met on the planet Chasca in order to investigate why the colony was no longer responding to Alliance communications. You were there, too, just after we finished; I read those reports. Chandana had a brilliant mind and look what happened to him," Miranda sighed. "He had a wife and three little girls."
"I don't regret what I did, either, not for one minute. That Collector base had to go. I'm glad that Jacob and the rest of the team got me out when he did. Those scientists were going to try and make me into a human Reaper."
"What else was part of the deal? You were actually considering it?"
"I didn't think that he'd go through with the terms. I made some pretty outrageous ones, but he honored them all…with the exception of the last one. Guess he figured that I was the best one to try the technology on, since his first attempt failed." He took one of her hands and began to massage it tenderly.
"I can't believe that you'd let him-"
"It wasn't for nothing, Miranda. Jack and Garrus were freed, the Cerberus moles in the Alliance are out, and if I'd won the fight, we would have had this conversation two days ago."
"How can you be sure that the Cerberus agents in the Alliance are gone?"
"He let me listen in on his radio transmission. It sounded legitimate."
Miranda eyed him carefully. "What was the code order?"
"Something like 'Hades is not merciful'."
She clinched her teeth and inhaled sharply. "I'm sorry, Shepard. That's not an order to permanently disband."
"It wasn't?" He let go of her hand.
"No, that sentence is code for a temporary halt to all operations. There's no specific time, but I would gather that they'll go back to their posts in the Alliance in a month or so, maybe sooner."
"That son of a bitch," he muttered. "I should've known better than to trust that double crossing, two-faced scoundrel…"
"Hey, come on. We'll get to him. Later." She took him into her arms. "I'll be right there with you. You nail him with the first bullet through the chest, and I'll hit him with the next one."
He returned her hug and suddenly tackled her onto the bed. "I knew that there was a reason why I almost won that fight. Couldn't stop thinking about you. Us. You're nothing short of my everything."
"You're a bathetic fool, Commander."
"Damn straight I am."
"Oof!" She struggled with him and was about to start to charge up her biotics, when his grip got stronger. However, as he hungrily pressed his lips to hers, she relented and instead wrapped her hand around the back of his neck to encourage him further. Perhaps it was better this time to let him take charge, she decided. Just once.
He tore himself two inches away from her lips. "What's wrong, Lawson? Are you giving up on me already?"
"Not on your bloody life," Miranda smirked, let her biotic field charge for a bit, and wrapped a thigh around his hip. He lifted himself up off of her to see what she'd do and was met with pure bliss as her knee gently brushed against his groin. The subtle current made him flinch and harden. "But there is something I'd like to know before we even think about going on here."
"Nngh…this doesn't require much thought, does it? Because I honestly don't know how long I'm gonna last if you keep…" He caught his breath in his throat as she continued her ministrations. "Nnnah…if you keep this up."
The biotic field from her body disappeared, and she removed her leg from its previous position. Her eyes met his with a hard stare. "I need to know that these…conjugal visits with your former teammate are finished. This won't work if they continue."
"I promise you that she and I are finished. We had a night before Illos..."
She cleared her throat with an exaggeration as if to say 'bullshit'.
"I'm sorry, Miranda. You were right to call me a son of a bitch earlier." He withdrew his eyes from her and hung his head. "I don't deserve you. Maybe I'm no better than Jacob."
"Jacob wouldn't have encouraged me to talk to Oriana. On second thought, he might have, but he never would have persuaded me into doing so. He wouldn't have asked what we'd talked about afterward, unlike you."
Shepard lost his nerve and rolled on his back next to her on the bed. "I have another confession to make, but…well…it's not as bad as my first sin."
She turned into him and propped up her head upon an elbow. "I'm listening."
"While I was on the Broker ship once, I sneaked into some of Liara's intel. Some of it included an extranet conversation you had with your sister."
"Well, then that's the end of that chat room," Miranda said with the slight raise of an eyebrow. "I suppose I should say thank you for that."
"That's not why I brought it up."
"Then why did you?"
"I wanted to be honest with you. And…"
"And what?"
"And…I wanted to know what else you talked about. There was only an excerpt there," he grinned. "Any bedroom advice?"
Miranda's eyes flooded with fury. "She is not going to engage…" Suddenly, she stopped herself. "Damnit, I sound just like my father again."
"Oriana is over the age of eighteen, Miranda." Shepard's fingers wandered across her stomach and landed upon her hip. "Like you told me, she's not a child."
"You can't blame me for being concerned."
"No, I can't . I was an only child, so I have no idea what it's like to have a sibling." He activated his own biotic field and suddenly pulled her closer so that their hips were indeed touching. "Wonder what she'll be like in say, seventeen years?"
"Assuming the galaxy doesn't end in less than one, you're looking at her."
"So am I forgiven?"
Her leg slid around his hip and gripped his entire leg as well as his left cheek. "Up for a little game, Shepard?"
He chuckled. "Guess I'll take that as a 'yes'. Ahem…what kind of rules are there?"
Her face traveled closer, just far enough away to brush her lips against his. "I'll let you know as we go along." Shepard was about to close the distance between them when she waved a finger in front of them. "And for the next two minutes, no lip to lip contact."
"That's complete torture, and you know it, Ms. Lawson."
"Do I?"
He wasted no time in arguing and sank his mouth onto her neck. "I'll prove it," he stated in between his caresses. "You're gonna be begging for them by the time I'm finished with you." Her biotic field reappeared and tingled his mouth just as his tongue was about to make contact with the outline of her jaw. He grunted and pulled back slightly, but only just enough to insert his fingers underneath her choker.
"How the hell do I-"
Miranda smiled, pushed his hands away, and gracefully removed the obstacle. Before she could place it onto his night stand, he viciously yanked her on top of himself and assaulted her neck again. Shepard's hands cupped her derriere and squeezed with just enough pressure that she let more than one gasp emit from her mouth.
"Hmm…how long do I have left, Ms. Lawson?" he asked, just inches away from crook of her neck and shoulder. "Clock's still ticking, isn't it?" Without waiting for an answer, his hands left her behind and slithered up her back. His fingers seared up her spine with feather-light touches and before she even knew it, one hand tugged along the zipper to her outfit.
"Oh, no you don't," she laughed and stopped him before he could completely undo the zipper.
"You said you didn't want any lip to lip contact. I gotta make up for it somewhere else," Shepard returned and sneaked his hand inside to tease just the underside of her breast. "Miranda Lawson…" he chided her in a lower pitched voice as his fingers felt nothing but flesh. "Were you plotting to seduce your commander tonight?"
"I don't lose any clothing faster than you do. Lips are back in." Before he could snicker for very long, she flung her hands around his neck and crushed her lips to his own in an open-mouthed kiss. Their hands roamed over one another as tongues entwined and lips moved upon lips.
Shepard tore himself away from her, his breathing ragged and ripped off his shirt. "Your turn," he whispered and lay back on the bed.
"Hmm, is it?" Miranda grinned devilishly and straddled him. She licked one of her index fingers, traced it along his ear, and then slid it down his neck and chest down to his abdomen. He squirmed under the biotic field both of her hands emanated there.
"Damn, you're not even touching me, woman, and I'm, well…I'm-"
"I can feel it, you ass," she chortled and intentionally rubbed herself against him.
"What kind of rules did you say we were playing by again?" When she hesitated to think, he immediately saw his chance to move, and tugged her zipper all the way down, nearly breaking it. Shepard shoved the soft material aside, grabbed her by the back, and immediately began to nuzzle one of her breasts with his nose. Barely a second later, his lips drew her skin into his mouth; his actions caused her breath to catch in her throat.
"I didn't think that you'd remember," Shepard broke away to say and released an invisible cloud of warm air onto the place he had just been. Since she didn't seem to be fighting for control of the situation any longer, he moved onto the other. Her fingers began to rake through his hair the wrong way, which only goaded him on.
"Commander, sir?" Joker's voice interrupted them like an unwanted relative.
Shepard groaned, a bit too loudly, in her opinion; the pilot hesitated before he continued to speak.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we are just about to dock in Nos Astra. I thought you'd want to know, since the executive officer was not up on the bridge to coordinate our arrival. I was hoping that you'd know where she-"
"Joker!" Shepard snapped.
"Oh, so you do know. Damn, guess somebody owes me 20 creds, isn't that right, Matthews?" the hotshot jockey sneered.
"Screw you, Joker!" Matthews yelled back.
"ETA is about two minutes. Is there an all aboard time for the crew's shore leave, sir?"
Shepard sighed as Miranda scooted off of his lap and rubbed his eyes. "1300 hours tomorrow. And for you, Joker, 1100 hours."
"Hard ass. Don't forget that I have a disability."
"Would you rather I make it 900 hours, Joker?"
"Shutting up now, sir. Sorry, sir."
"Are we ever going to get a break?" Shepard grunted as he watched Miranda smooth herself over and straighten her outfit.
"You know I have an apartment here, right?" her eyebrows raised. As she made her way towards the entrance of his cabin, she turned to face him with a wink. "Meet you on the gangway in thirty minutes."
THE END
